ALIEN BLOOD is a very bizarre indie-budgeted fantasy/horror film which is heavily influenced by the old horror films of the 1960s and 1970s. It was shot in the rural wilds of Cumbria and has a plot that defies explanation, except that it features a woman being pursued by a vengeful pursuer. Oh, and aliens are involved somehow. Put out by Troma, this is an abstract, arthouse-style offering that might be described as Les Miserables meets Jean Rollin meets Fire in the Sky. Plenty of effort has gone into the visuals but the plot is real mess and the whole thing soon descends into incoherency. The lengthy slow motion sequence of the two naked women dressing each other has to be the low point here.
24 Reviews
Crappy wannabe cult-movie
m00nsinger29 February 2004
I bought this film on Play.com having read nothing but the summary.
Vampires, aliens, lesbo-love, splatter and gore. Sounded like a great b-flick/Troma-type movie. But it was too good to be true. The movie sucked *ss. The only credit I wanna give is to a few of the out-door shots. Some of the color use is nicely done. Otherwise: Crappy story that barely makes sense, terrible lesbo action, little gore, long ffw-sequences with people staring at the horizon. Jokes that aren't funny. Terrible music. Ugly actors.
Urk. I can't believe I wasted £3.33 on that piece of junk.
Vampires, aliens, lesbo-love, splatter and gore. Sounded like a great b-flick/Troma-type movie. But it was too good to be true. The movie sucked *ss. The only credit I wanna give is to a few of the out-door shots. Some of the color use is nicely done. Otherwise: Crappy story that barely makes sense, terrible lesbo action, little gore, long ffw-sequences with people staring at the horizon. Jokes that aren't funny. Terrible music. Ugly actors.
Urk. I can't believe I wasted £3.33 on that piece of junk.
A candidate for one of the worst movies of all time.
Soulknife17 February 2009
There's no way that this could be considered a good movie. The storyline is paper thin, and seems to be simply an excuse for random violence and nudity. Unfortunately for this film, neither the violence nor the nudity is particularly interesting. The fight sequences look terrible, and most of the time, you don't even see the kicks or punches hit. The actors who get hit look more like they're throwing themselves back rather than being thrown back by the force of the hit. The acting is atrocious; the dialog is sparse and poorly-delivered. Every character is two-dimensional, and you can forget about character development. In terms of special effects, this isn't just low-budget, this is almost cartoonish. Bullet holes apparently generate small squirts of stage blood, for example. The CGI is pretty bad, and consists mostly of a low-quality loop of some alien screaming every once and a while. All I can say is, don't watch this movie. There isn't a single redeeming quality about it.
"Still plenty of time to get p*ssed"
Bezenby25 September 2012
This is a weird, weird film. It's the last day of the millennium, and MIBs are chasing two women and two kids through the Lake District, only these folk are really aliens and MIBs have to catch them before the dawn of the new millennium, I think. After a few gunfights they end up at the house of James Dracula and some other vampires, who are having a millennium party. Oh, and there's a psychic and one of the aliens is pregnant.
At first, this ultra-low budget film plays out like a crappy Matrix style alien chase film with very arty pretensions (loads of standing around looking wistful) and some pretty awful martial arts and bad acting. Once we get to the vampire's house, the film decides to turn into some sort of sex comedy for a while, with Dracula creeping about the house having his advances rebuffed by various female vampires. Not a lick of this makes any sense but once the alien turns up and kills Dracula, the rest of the vampires gang together to take on the MIBs, who attack the house en masse (save for one vampire, who turns out to be the brother of the leader of the MIBs). If there was an explanation for any of this, I may have missed it between dozing during the arty, slow motion poignant shots of people staring at each other for minutes at a time while candles flickered in the foreground.
You've got bagpipe players, jugglers, lustful farmers, French speaking aliens, Dracula, references to a 'fuel curfew', really, truly dire CGI (nearly forgot to mention that !) and the result is a truly head scratching film that raises so many questions that you're neighbours will think you've gone crazy while you're screaming "Why?" at the television over and over again.
Is it enjoyable though? For those looking for the weird and obscure, it's worth a shot. For sci-fi fans I wouldn't touch this with a bargepole. I kind of enjoyed it for it's weirdness factor, but I couldn't make head nor tail of the quirky premises the film was throwing at me. It did have plenty of nudity and gore in it if that's your thing. Be warned though: This is by no means a good film. Watch out during the house attack sequence for how many times they recycle footage of the MIBs running around. They use one shot about ten times!
At first, this ultra-low budget film plays out like a crappy Matrix style alien chase film with very arty pretensions (loads of standing around looking wistful) and some pretty awful martial arts and bad acting. Once we get to the vampire's house, the film decides to turn into some sort of sex comedy for a while, with Dracula creeping about the house having his advances rebuffed by various female vampires. Not a lick of this makes any sense but once the alien turns up and kills Dracula, the rest of the vampires gang together to take on the MIBs, who attack the house en masse (save for one vampire, who turns out to be the brother of the leader of the MIBs). If there was an explanation for any of this, I may have missed it between dozing during the arty, slow motion poignant shots of people staring at each other for minutes at a time while candles flickered in the foreground.
You've got bagpipe players, jugglers, lustful farmers, French speaking aliens, Dracula, references to a 'fuel curfew', really, truly dire CGI (nearly forgot to mention that !) and the result is a truly head scratching film that raises so many questions that you're neighbours will think you've gone crazy while you're screaming "Why?" at the television over and over again.
Is it enjoyable though? For those looking for the weird and obscure, it's worth a shot. For sci-fi fans I wouldn't touch this with a bargepole. I kind of enjoyed it for it's weirdness factor, but I couldn't make head nor tail of the quirky premises the film was throwing at me. It did have plenty of nudity and gore in it if that's your thing. Be warned though: This is by no means a good film. Watch out during the house attack sequence for how many times they recycle footage of the MIBs running around. They use one shot about ten times!
Why, oh why did you make this movie?
spike_jonez14 June 2007
This movie simply should not have been made. Honestly. I cannot think of a single reason this movie should have been made. I feel sorry for the children involved in this movie as they are not old enough to be made fun of for being in it. This movie is one huge plot hole. It's simply bad. Not even the kind of bad you can make fun of. Jon Sorenson, I hate you for making this film. I cannot believe you went from working on Alien and The Dark Crystal to make this load of tripe. You must have hated working on movies and this was your way of making sure that you didn't ever get any work in the movies again. Honestly, you don't deserve to be allowed to work in a video store, or even to rent movies in a video store. You shouldn't be allowed to watch movies anymore. This doesn't deserve my writing so much about it, but IMDb requires a minimum of ten lines.
An Epic.
Phrankus30 October 2005
Warning: Spoilers
This film is awesome! How can you not like a film that contains the following: ***WARNING -- SPOILERS*** (although I defy anyone to spoil THIS film) 1) A lecherous farmer, who has the first lines in the film following what is essentially a twenty minute introduction filmed in an "artistic" manner . -- "Do you like horses lad?" 2) A house full of Cumbriam vamps (that happily walk around in the daytime, dressing each other. Yes thats right. Dressing) -- headed by none other than the prince of darkness, Dracula himself, who for the purposes of this film, is also known as "James". He is an ageing sleaze, and locks his current bride in the basement with the hope of biting some of the other random vamps floating around. Apparently Dracula is not what he used to be -- he jumps at small noises, nearly biting off his tongue when surprised by the other members of the household, including a psychic, who spends 95% of her screen time in the bath. He also says sh!t when turned down for a biting.
3) A french, fruit-eating alien. Who kills Dracula with a handgun.
4) Vamps stripping because they are "too visible" 5) A fire juggler who is assassinated by the "Men In Black" 6) A bagpiper who meets the same fate.
7) You would have thought that a director that can get away with using the same piece of film...exactly the same piece of film..12+ times during the invasion scene couldn't get anymore awesome..You would be wrong. Sorenson puts his masterful directing skills to work -- and reverses the shot! GENIUS!! And Finally : hearing the sound man sneeze (its either that or random sound effects, the inclusion of which is beyond me) Anyway..watch it, its great for a laugh ;)
3) A french, fruit-eating alien. Who kills Dracula with a handgun.
4) Vamps stripping because they are "too visible" 5) A fire juggler who is assassinated by the "Men In Black" 6) A bagpiper who meets the same fate.
7) You would have thought that a director that can get away with using the same piece of film...exactly the same piece of film..12+ times during the invasion scene couldn't get anymore awesome..You would be wrong. Sorenson puts his masterful directing skills to work -- and reverses the shot! GENIUS!! And Finally : hearing the sound man sneeze (its either that or random sound effects, the inclusion of which is beyond me) Anyway..watch it, its great for a laugh ;)
low-rent version of STR8 to video movie
yeodawg21 April 2011
Back in the day, I watched a sleek sexy lil CYBORGER Actioner called NEMESIS; the plot of the movie was 2 Rival cyborg factions were warring. A rogue info smuggling cyborg is caught between the factions smuggling information, and his loyalties are tested. This is the grade-B version of that str8 2 video debacle. Instead of Cyborgs we have 2 rival Vampire factions, or vampires and vampire slayers IDUNNO. And our hero is an ALIEN it doesn't matter its us an excuse to have super-powers. And by super-powers I don't mean to see into the future, to walk-thru walls or fly. It's the ability to dodge or take 300 bullets. Bottom line the heroine's daughter and unborn child double as the information, he was trying to smuggle. It's slow-rent and slow compared to the original but its just fast enough and interesting enough to keep me watching.
Shark sandwich
m00nsinger4 January 2005
This movie is awful. I bought in thinking I would get a cool alien/vampire/slasher/Tromaesk/horror flick. But by the Zeuz' beard, this sucks. I was so disappointed, not even a couple of pairs of breasts could soothe the pain. The story's crap and the acting is way below pari. Yes, some of the camera-work isn't all that bad, but it sure as hell don't save this garbage. £3,99 is at least £3,99 too much. I don't really have anything more to say about this tripe, but I'm obliged to write at least ten lines.
In the words of the review of Spinal TAp's Shark sandwich: Sh** sandwich. 'nuff said
In the words of the review of Spinal TAp's Shark sandwich: Sh** sandwich. 'nuff said
Could Have Been A Half Hour TV Episode
burning_in_he11-113 January 2006
Warning: Spoilers
OK, so just to show the other side of a review for this movie..
Firstly the movie contains huge amounts of slow motion footage, presumably to pad out the running time for DVD sale.
Secondly the movie is filmed entirely without dialogue for a large part of it!
Music IS running in the background (like some old black and white silent movie, with music dubbed over the top), so for most of the time it could qualify as a silent movie with music!
I only paid 99 pence (about a dollar ?) for it, but I was still a bit disappointed!
Could have been better, much better!
Okay, it is an amateur film (aren't all Troma films?), filmed cheaply in the UK, but YES the story has potential..
Firstly the movie contains huge amounts of slow motion footage, presumably to pad out the running time for DVD sale.
Secondly the movie is filmed entirely without dialogue for a large part of it!
Music IS running in the background (like some old black and white silent movie, with music dubbed over the top), so for most of the time it could qualify as a silent movie with music!
I only paid 99 pence (about a dollar ?) for it, but I was still a bit disappointed!
Could have been better, much better!
Okay, it is an amateur film (aren't all Troma films?), filmed cheaply in the UK, but YES the story has potential..
Shoddy sci-fi/horror clunker
Woodyanders2 May 2013
Warning: Spoilers
It's hard to believe any film that blends aliens and vampires together could turn out to be such a stinker, but alas writer/director Jon Sorensen manages to fumble the ball something terrible in every possible way. For starters, the pace crawls at a painfully sluggish rate while the sloppy narrative meanders all over the place without ever acquiring any focus, tension, or momentum. Worse yet, Sorensen brings a heavy-handed pretentious artsy-fartsy sensibility to the movie that sucks all the fun out of it. The poorly staged action scenes consist mostly of clumsy martial arts that are done in groan-inducing strenuous slow motion. The cruddy (far from) special effects (the CGI alien is simply pathetic), underwhelming acting from an insipid cast, cheesy gore, and ugly cinematography add further abject insult to already appalling injury. Only some tasty gratuitous female nudity -- plus one guy who goes full monty for the ladies -- and Glyn Whiteside's lively portrayal of the ruthless Jouvet provide some slight relief from the overall tedium. A dismal dud.
Worst film ever made?
ja-tobin17 February 2006
I do understand it was on a budget, £5 or there abouts, but anyone could tell a story better than this. The film is badly put together and is almost a perfect example of how not to make a film. I thought the music was quite good though! Its a 3 4 £5 job in your nearest newsagent at best and thats being kind. I started getting a headache after 10 mins into the film. My house mate said he couldn't watch any more after 10 minutes also. This film gives hope to all budding film makers anywhere, if this can be released anything can. If you watch this film without the urge to fast forward you are a better man then I. I'm sure the 18 certificate is the only reason anyone picked it off a shelf in the first place.
Wonderful melange of aliens, gore and bickering vampires
adam-groves2 December 2002
In the realm of budget-lite, digitally shot horror/sci fi flicks (see THE DIVIDING HOUR, SHATTER DEAD, etc.), the British import ALIEN BLOOD is far above average. There's not much in the way of a story, but the CGI effects, achieved at a fraction of the cost of MINORITY REPORT'S catering bill, are extremely impressive; it helps, clearly, that the film's creator Jon Sorensen is a veteran FX man.
Still, what puts ALIEN BLOOD over the top is the sheer inventiveness and imagination Sorensen injects into this wonderful melange of aliens, gore and bickering vampires (with such a mix, you simply CAN NOT go wrong). Here's hoping he'll go on to bigger and better things.
Still, what puts ALIEN BLOOD over the top is the sheer inventiveness and imagination Sorensen injects into this wonderful melange of aliens, gore and bickering vampires (with such a mix, you simply CAN NOT go wrong). Here's hoping he'll go on to bigger and better things.
Watch it on a frame-capture ready computer
jusseglio@juno.com24 January 2007
Since I use a rental service that bills me monthly no matter how many movies I take out, ALIEN BLOOD cost me essentially only the time I spent watching it. Fortunately the fast forward button puts this expenditure entirely under my control. When confronted with a film like this, i.e. a cinematic shipwreck, I take one of two paths. I can hit the eject button as soon as I know what's up, or I can examine the movie the way I examine old barns and attics, looking for something nice in all the clutter. There were indeed a few pretty trinkets in this movie. Some of the exterior shots of the English countryside are wonderful; I snatched them out of the picture and saved them as graphic files. One of these days I'll run them through Photoshop and turn them into very decent landscape art for my den. If you don't like landscapes, though, give this picture a miss; if it's moving in this film, it's ridiculous.
It's a film that boldly goes where the `X-Files' should have!
z1badkarma12 January 2003
For me Alien Blood represents a true indi film experience! It's the type of film where no two can agree as to what its about.
Jon Sorenson has crafted a haunting maze of images that are at times so breathtaking that its worth seeing Alien Blood for that alone. Indeed I felt I was on a very cool acid trip as I watched the story unfold and develop. It's a film that boldly goes where the `X-Files' should have gone but never had the guts! Ya gotta love it.
Add to that a pure visual approach to the story telling and you enter the land of CINEMA - a story told with images, mood, events, without relying on insipid explanatory `spoon fed' dialog. Bravo!
Mr. Sorenson's expertise in SFX is well played as he create some the best indi EFX I have ever seen. The Efx are worth the wait and bring the film to its dramatic crescendo much like the arrival of the mothership in Close Encounters of the Third Kind.
Finally there is the very hand use of erotica which is so subtle and sensual that to say more would burst the glowing bubble of it in my mind.
All said - the truth is way out there baby!
Jon Sorenson has crafted a haunting maze of images that are at times so breathtaking that its worth seeing Alien Blood for that alone. Indeed I felt I was on a very cool acid trip as I watched the story unfold and develop. It's a film that boldly goes where the `X-Files' should have gone but never had the guts! Ya gotta love it.
Add to that a pure visual approach to the story telling and you enter the land of CINEMA - a story told with images, mood, events, without relying on insipid explanatory `spoon fed' dialog. Bravo!
Mr. Sorenson's expertise in SFX is well played as he create some the best indi EFX I have ever seen. The Efx are worth the wait and bring the film to its dramatic crescendo much like the arrival of the mothership in Close Encounters of the Third Kind.
Finally there is the very hand use of erotica which is so subtle and sensual that to say more would burst the glowing bubble of it in my mind.
All said - the truth is way out there baby!
A film notable for imaginative conception and execution and a triumph over the constrictions of low budget movie making
ericpringle8 December 2002
Alien Blood is a movie unlike any other: a product of the vision and determination of a most individual film maker. Sorenson has created a movie that has all the ingredients to make it a cult PLUS the indefinable quality of a unique imagination which marks his film out from the rest. With more imaginative and determination by the distributors it would be a cult already. Seek it out for yourself. Then pass on the word...
Sorensson is a God!!!
beardedquiche23 February 2006
Warning: Spoilers
I happened to find this film in a double DVD pack in the bargain bin at blockbuster. 1.99 for two such spectacular sounding films!! How could anyone resist? Surely a film with a blurb that involves not only aliens but vampires as well (hence the witty title) couldn't possibly be bad? After watching the truly FANTASTIC cinematic work that is Alien Blood, I must confess I have somewhat questioned the logic of my decision. The film has, as I can see, nothing even remotely resembling a plot. The story, so far as I can tell, is about some ugly women and a spooky kid who are being chased, as the blurb says, by 'a group of killers'. Possibly some sort of bizarre 'killers day out', I don't know, this is never explained.
The incredibly limited dialogue that does appear in the film (it can't be more than about 10 lines) is delivered in such a wonderfully badly acted way that it makes one want to chew off their own fist in sheer embarrassment. The cast mostly consists of blokes dressed all in black with, for some strange reason, what appears to be bandages wrapped around their heads. I think this is more than likely to disguise the fact that they are in fact all the same person as they can't actually afford more than three actors on screen at anyone time.
The rest of the cast are the ugliest bunch of people you could ever hope to see and have between them the acting abilities of a damp dish cloth. The best of all being 'Dracula', who in this film appears as a Cumbrian known as 'James', during the limited time he is in this film before being shot by a (clearly not) French alien he seems to be drunk off his face. I can't help but wonder if he even knew he was in this film!!
I can imagine that Sorresson woke up the day after making this film, with a bad head ache and a few empty bottles of whiskey, seeing the video tape and going 'God no!! I've done it again!' Despite being without a doubt the worse film ever made, this is truly hilarious and I would recommend it to anyone!
The incredibly limited dialogue that does appear in the film (it can't be more than about 10 lines) is delivered in such a wonderfully badly acted way that it makes one want to chew off their own fist in sheer embarrassment. The cast mostly consists of blokes dressed all in black with, for some strange reason, what appears to be bandages wrapped around their heads. I think this is more than likely to disguise the fact that they are in fact all the same person as they can't actually afford more than three actors on screen at anyone time.
The rest of the cast are the ugliest bunch of people you could ever hope to see and have between them the acting abilities of a damp dish cloth. The best of all being 'Dracula', who in this film appears as a Cumbrian known as 'James', during the limited time he is in this film before being shot by a (clearly not) French alien he seems to be drunk off his face. I can't help but wonder if he even knew he was in this film!!
I can imagine that Sorresson woke up the day after making this film, with a bad head ache and a few empty bottles of whiskey, seeing the video tape and going 'God no!! I've done it again!' Despite being without a doubt the worse film ever made, this is truly hilarious and I would recommend it to anyone!
Cruel But Fair!
KurtDracula11 February 2006
Not entirely successful. One review said that when this movie was relying solely on music and images, it worked. Compromised by the vampire stuff and dialogue. I'd go along with that. Beautiful when it worked, awful when it did'nt. It tries something new and I'm hard put to think of something else like it, anywhere. It's a puzzle. All the women in it are strong. All the guys are jerks. Great visuals, though.
Rumour is that Sorensen's next, "Seeker", is to be entirely without dialogue! Just music and images with Sorensen writing the music himself.
We'll see. This was worth the little I paid for it, though. Can't carp about that. Few films are made in the UK these days as it is. Whatever else, Sorensen knew what he was doing you can sense, even if no-one else did. Give it a go is my advice. For the trippy visuals.
Rumour is that Sorensen's next, "Seeker", is to be entirely without dialogue! Just music and images with Sorensen writing the music himself.
We'll see. This was worth the little I paid for it, though. Can't carp about that. Few films are made in the UK these days as it is. Whatever else, Sorensen knew what he was doing you can sense, even if no-one else did. Give it a go is my advice. For the trippy visuals.
An extraordinary, largely 'one man', effort on a minimal budget.
john-coppinger28 November 2002
This film is a unique vision, outside any genre placement; despite its' being ostensibly science fiction.
What might have been possible with a larger budget who knows, given that it uses CGI before that medium had been either properly defined or developed.
Perhaps large amounts of money wouldn't have been an answer, but there's no doubt it would have helped the film reach a larger audience.
It's been said often enough, but it's still true: Funding ten low budget films, giving new directors a chance, is more likely to reveal that elusive new vision than a single 'formula' blockbuster for the same money.
What might have been possible with a larger budget who knows, given that it uses CGI before that medium had been either properly defined or developed.
Perhaps large amounts of money wouldn't have been an answer, but there's no doubt it would have helped the film reach a larger audience.
It's been said often enough, but it's still true: Funding ten low budget films, giving new directors a chance, is more likely to reveal that elusive new vision than a single 'formula' blockbuster for the same money.
Well, it's got blood, and aliens...
m_deathbringer8 September 2004
I got this film in a dirt-cheap double DVD pack for the amazing price of £1.42, not bad XD. The description on the back was somewhat misleading as it mentioned "A house full of vampires", but actually the "Vampires" are only people having a fancy dress party (i didn't think Count Dracula's real first name was Frank anyway). There are a few faults with the film, such as a LOT of stock footage towards the end, how many times do we see the same two ..er.. badguys fall off a hill, one being zapped mid-drop. Also there are a few odd sounds dubbed on for no real reason (like farts and burps), and nearly every dying enemy moans in the same way. Plus at the start you don't really know what is happening as there is zero dialouge, except for a farmer talking about his horse. when people do talk its generally very quiet and hard to hear. Also near the end one woman takes off her big red frilly dress and says "we should get into something more appropriate", except she just stays in her underwear, not really the right clothes to hold off an armed siege. Finally the CGI spaceship looks pretty dodgy, they should have used a model suspended from fishing wire, it probably would have looked better, and been cheaper!. Still, this is quite a good film overall, if you can get past those "bugs", its kind of like a cross between The X-Files and Heartbeat (at the end they are all wearing 1960's clothes, if only one of them was driving the Ford Anglia seen on a farm...).
WOWEEE Jon Sorenson rocks
robertsaxbynumber130 June 2004
After purchasing this film from a nearby scrubber shop I was most astounded by its graphical brilliance. Jon Sorenson went all out on the alien special effects and in my opinion has achieved something particularly commendable. Full of twists and turns along the way, this awesome storyline kept me on the edge of my seat. I particularly enjoyed the bit where you watch a bunch of ugly losers the house for about 1 hour, the best bit being when Tom p***es on his shoe. During the film the camera crew can be heard sneezing and farting on numerous occasions which all adds to the sci-fi atmosphere. The fight seens are breath taking, the best bit being when the woman hits the butler in the face with a tray and then kicks him in the shin, OUCH!!!
Overall I have given this film 10\10 and I expect you will do the same when you have seen it, go buy it now it only cost me £15.99 for the DVD, BARGIN!!!
Overall I have given this film 10\10 and I expect you will do the same when you have seen it, go buy it now it only cost me £15.99 for the DVD, BARGIN!!!
A rare gem in British independent film-making.
Ton_O16 February 2008
Warning: Spoilers
This is a film that requires some patience, and for that reason may not be compatible with the regular Multiplex-movie-goer. But for those who watch movies for their content instead of only for fast moving ridiculousness, this is a very interesting one, because it is a little of a lot of things and a lot of never seen before. Apparently the producer/writer/director Jon Sorensen (responsible for the special effects of Alien, The Dark Crystal, Moonraker and Terry Gilliam's Time Bandits, to name a few) had trouble finding funds to finance the film, because in Britain it was the first independent film with a science fiction theme in at least ten years. Producing it himself he eventually managed to go on with the project, and that is a very good thing, because he made certainly the first British independent film of any kind that is remotely like ALIEN BLOOD. The film evolves around a hunted mother and her child, which is the target of the incredibly unrelenting mostly masked persons, the leader of which mentions to be responsible for "this project". A family having a dress-party for the millennium gets involved and without us learning the exact truth about the mother and the child, the film is keeping the viewer constantly involved with them, concerned for them. Without much plot this is a very poetic film, of which each and every frame could be framed and hanged on the wall for it's sheer beauty. The atmosphere reminds a little of some of the best Jean Rollin pictures, especially Requiem For A Vampire, as it shares a very long beginning without any dialog, and a sneaked in vampire theme combined with some implied lesbianism plus the fact that people who come "from another world" speak French lead to believe that the director indeed wanted to include some nods to the French auteur filmmaker. With it's visual poetry, stunningly thrilling atmosphere, wonderfully worked out story and questions that still remain after the closing titles have ended, this is a very special film. Some people complain about the acting in many films that are made with a comparatively small budget, but even the most cynical of those could complain here. The acting has to be done without a lot of lines, so facial expressions are very important, and the cast deliver a great performance. The DVD has an interesting monologue by Sorensen, in which he shares a good deal of information about the production of the film and beautiful shots of the location (just as beautiful) where Alien Blood was shot.
Eat your heart out, Spielberg, Jon Sorensson is here!
arthurwhippywart23 February 2006
Warning: Spoilers
Oh, dear God! I actually had to invent a new word to describe this film. So here it is; craparamic. Jon Sorensson has created an epic worthy of the greatest stage. And here's why; 1) The tagline. 'They want your blood'. Now, Jon old boy, who the bloody hell are you talking about? You never explain it, you geriatric old genius 2)Storyline. Oh, yes! Seriously, you have included vampires, aliens and, best of all, the Karate Kid in this film and yet it still achieves a level of lameness seldom seen outside of Hull. You are truly gifted.
3)Special effects. How much did you actually spend on these? I reckon you just found a random tramp, gave him a bag of crisps and a commodore 64 and, wella!, the rest is (as they say) history.
4)Acting. Seriously - I have seen more intelligence at the bottom of ponds, Jon. At the bottom of ponds. And the fact you added the 'twist' (hahaha!) of there being brothers? What a genius way to disguise the fact that you could not afford two actors the quality of... Well done, Jon. Well done.
5)Oh God, to hell with it. I loved this film! It is really awful but, having just watched it (again) with my housemates I really can say I haven't laughed so much for a long time. Sorensen for an Oscar, OBE, hell even a knighthood? You heard it here first
3)Special effects. How much did you actually spend on these? I reckon you just found a random tramp, gave him a bag of crisps and a commodore 64 and, wella!, the rest is (as they say) history.
4)Acting. Seriously - I have seen more intelligence at the bottom of ponds, Jon. At the bottom of ponds. And the fact you added the 'twist' (hahaha!) of there being brothers? What a genius way to disguise the fact that you could not afford two actors the quality of... Well done, Jon. Well done.
5)Oh God, to hell with it. I loved this film! It is really awful but, having just watched it (again) with my housemates I really can say I haven't laughed so much for a long time. Sorensen for an Oscar, OBE, hell even a knighthood? You heard it here first
A waste of some very nice cinematography...and my time.
trippycheez22 November 2004
I received a reject copy of Alien Blood for free along with a bunch of other extremely bad movies when I interned for Troma a long time ago. The cover art looked so pitifully stupid that I couldn't bear to even pop it in my DVD player for years. I expected it to be an unfunny, poorly made, boring Alien rip off with bad computer effects, in the vein of Legend of the Chupacabra [another free Troma movie I got in the same batch--possibly the worst movie I have ever seen in my life]. The only reason I decided to watch it tonight was because I'm trying to build up the perfect DVD collection, and Alien Blood is a blight on my shelf. Also, I asked my boyfriend if he would rather watch Alien Blood or Brad Grinter: Nudist. Those familiar with Something Weird's BLOOD FREAK release will understand why he chose Alien Blood!
Anyway, the good thing about having rock-bottom expectations for a movie is that you may easily be pleasantly surprised by some aspect of it. In this case, the cinematography made the movie almost worthwhile. There are many striking shots, most notably a great one of a bagpiper up on a cliff while a gunman waits below in the foreground. A few effects are a WAY overused, such as breaking up a shot with fades to black over and over again, or using slow-motion on a flickering candle. Also, I got a very Pure Moods/Enya vibe from some of the waterfall and nature footage. Overall though, I'd say the photography was great--symmetrical, well-composed, and a lot like Ginger Snaps.
As for the plot itself--ickk! My boyfriend and I figured Jon Sorenson had a vampire movie all planned out, but then someone came to him and said, "What's better than a vampire movie? A vampire ALIEN movie!" so he added a bunch of nonsense about women who run silently through the English countryside, standing atop rocky cliffs and communing with screaming moon-men [depicted in jarringly fake CG]. Admittedly, I did find the screaming moon-man to be hilarious. He shows up in the DVD menu loop, which I watched over and over again with great relish.
Also, I appreciated how the director at least TRIED to tell a complex story without using many words, even though he definitely didn't pull it off.
At any rate, the alien ladies seek shelter in a house full of bickering adulterous vampires. As I type that, I realize that it sounds like an amazing premise. It should have been amazing. Instead, the vampires act just like ordinary people, only they dress in 19th century garb and have pointy teeth. No one is ever bitten, and they can be killed with a regular gun. The alien ladies are also basically normal people. The little girl is a little weird, but then she basically has two lines which she repeats over and over again in exactly the same tone of voice: "Allez maman! Allez maman! Allez maman!"--ARRGGH!
You would probably like this movie if you're into the X Files, but if you like campy exploitation/B movies, look elsewhere for entertainment. The gore effects are minimal, the interesting ideas lack interesting content, and basically it seemed like the longest 80 minutes of my life. The opening credit sequence alone lasted for about fifteen minutes and seemed to list the name of every single person who worked on the movie, including "Second Assistant Camera Operator" or something, in the most excruciatingly slow manner possible. I'm convinced the director stretched out all the slow-mo and long, still shots he could just to make the movie feature-length. I may watch the DVD extra "Jon Sorenson: Man of Mystery" just to find out...although putting an extra on your own DVD about how you're a "man of mystery" seems totally ridiculous!
All in all, this movie is a waste of time aside from a bunch of pretty shots. I plan to sell my copy and get it out of the house as soon as possible!
Anyway, the good thing about having rock-bottom expectations for a movie is that you may easily be pleasantly surprised by some aspect of it. In this case, the cinematography made the movie almost worthwhile. There are many striking shots, most notably a great one of a bagpiper up on a cliff while a gunman waits below in the foreground. A few effects are a WAY overused, such as breaking up a shot with fades to black over and over again, or using slow-motion on a flickering candle. Also, I got a very Pure Moods/Enya vibe from some of the waterfall and nature footage. Overall though, I'd say the photography was great--symmetrical, well-composed, and a lot like Ginger Snaps.
As for the plot itself--ickk! My boyfriend and I figured Jon Sorenson had a vampire movie all planned out, but then someone came to him and said, "What's better than a vampire movie? A vampire ALIEN movie!" so he added a bunch of nonsense about women who run silently through the English countryside, standing atop rocky cliffs and communing with screaming moon-men [depicted in jarringly fake CG]. Admittedly, I did find the screaming moon-man to be hilarious. He shows up in the DVD menu loop, which I watched over and over again with great relish.
Also, I appreciated how the director at least TRIED to tell a complex story without using many words, even though he definitely didn't pull it off.
At any rate, the alien ladies seek shelter in a house full of bickering adulterous vampires. As I type that, I realize that it sounds like an amazing premise. It should have been amazing. Instead, the vampires act just like ordinary people, only they dress in 19th century garb and have pointy teeth. No one is ever bitten, and they can be killed with a regular gun. The alien ladies are also basically normal people. The little girl is a little weird, but then she basically has two lines which she repeats over and over again in exactly the same tone of voice: "Allez maman! Allez maman! Allez maman!"--ARRGGH!
You would probably like this movie if you're into the X Files, but if you like campy exploitation/B movies, look elsewhere for entertainment. The gore effects are minimal, the interesting ideas lack interesting content, and basically it seemed like the longest 80 minutes of my life. The opening credit sequence alone lasted for about fifteen minutes and seemed to list the name of every single person who worked on the movie, including "Second Assistant Camera Operator" or something, in the most excruciatingly slow manner possible. I'm convinced the director stretched out all the slow-mo and long, still shots he could just to make the movie feature-length. I may watch the DVD extra "Jon Sorenson: Man of Mystery" just to find out...although putting an extra on your own DVD about how you're a "man of mystery" seems totally ridiculous!
All in all, this movie is a waste of time aside from a bunch of pretty shots. I plan to sell my copy and get it out of the house as soon as possible!
Holy poopoo it's amazing
sonic-8021123 June 2021
Warning: Spoilers
This movie changed my life. I've never seen such a masterfully crafted story! The 30 second transitions are perfect for setting the pace.
SPOILERS!!
That seen where horse guy grabs her ass and she flipped him, wow that was so cool.
SPOILERS!!
That seen where horse guy grabs her ass and she flipped him, wow that was so cool.
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