The Specials (2000)

Kelly Coffield Park: Power Chick

Quotes 

• The Weevil : I think the weirdest superguy was with me back in the Teen Hustlers. Chest of Death?

  Power Chick : Oh, yeah, yeah. He was a happening guy.

  The Weevil : Yeah, and he had that, um... that thing?

  Power Chick : Yeah, he had a hole in the-in the chest of his costume and this... and this piece of flesh that he could just stretch out and, you know, slap somebody.

  The Weevil : His scrotum.

  [seeing her and Mr. Smart's looks] 

  The Weevil : What? That's what it was.

  Power Chick : No way.

  The Weevil : Yes. Oh, come on. No, he... look, he... he had some weird ability to stretch his scrotum for, you know, hundreds of yards. And what he would do is he'd cut a hole in his uniform and then he would thread the scrotum through the hole. It would dangle, you know, then he would just say it was some weird piece of flesh. But, well, actually, it was his scrotum.

  Mr. Smart : Wow.

  Power Chick : One time, he tickled me with that thing!

• The Strobe : When I first gained my superpowers...

  Amok : Oh, Jesus! Nobody wants to hear your boring fucking origin story! Let's take a vote.

  The Strobe : Let me ask you something, my friend.

  Amok : You're not my fucking friend! Maybe every once in a while I want to go out and have a beer and bang some slut rag 'til her eyes bleed. And maybe I don't give a shit if it gets in the L.A. Daily Post! I save lives. I don't think I owe anybody anything other than that.

  Deadly Girl : You've also tried to take lives.

  Amok : Oh, you know what? That was a long time ago, okay? I was a kid. I got caught up with the wrong bunch of people.

  The Strobe : You got caught up with the wrong bunch of people, mister. And now you're getting caught up in some pretty sick ideas.

  Amok : Forget it! Forget I said a thing.

  Power Chick : Nobody's saying that, Amok. I like you. It's just... sometimes I think you must be hurting so much inside because you're so... aggressive.

  Amok : You're 12-stepping me to death here, bitch.

• The Strobe : In light of tonight's reception, I think it's only appropriate that we discuss some of the public behavior of some of the group's members, which, as of late, has been lacking a certain, shall we say, tact. Witness this photograph of Amok and Weevil smoking cigarettes in a bathroom stall. Appeared in the L.A. Daily News.

  The Weevil : Ted, look, it's not like we were walking down Main Street. We were crouched down in a stall. A guy came in with a camera.

  The Strobe : You don't see the Crusaders smoking cigarettes.

  U.S. Bill : What if they were doing number two?

  The Strobe : Let me tell you something, my friend. When I first gained my superpowers...

  Amok : Here we go again.

  The Strobe : Some of us may not think this is trivial, pal. Some of us may want to hear this. Note the new member, for instance, Nightbird.

  Power Chick : I wanna hear it.

  The Strobe : Thank you, Power Chick.

  Power Chick : You're welcome, Ted.

  Mr. Smart : [the machine on his nose whirs]  Someone's playing with Play-Doh.

• The Weevil : Some of you may be wondering "How did the Specials come to be?". Well, the group was the brainchild of Ted and Tim Tilderbrook, better known to the world as the Strobe and Minute Man.

  Power Chick : The original five were friends before being teammates. Ted and Tim - he was Minute Boy back then - Ms. Indestructible, the Weevil, and Stretchy Boy!

  Ms. Indestructible : Stretchy Boy joined the group when we were around for, uh... about what, a year?

  Minute Man : About a year.

  Ms. Indestructible : Stretchy Boy had stretching powers. It's a... it's a pretty common superpower where he was from, up in the northwestern states.

  Minute Man : Tacoma.

  Ms. Indestructible : Something about the fluoridation in the water.

  Minute Man : Yeah. Unfortunately, the same chemicals that gave him his superpowers gave him a type of mouth cancer and he was dead in six months. The same thing happened to Captain Elastic, Flagpole Lad...

  Ms. Indestructible : Gooey Stan.

  Minute Man : Like a Holocaust of rubbery people.

  The Weevil : Our next member was Mr. Smart, who claimed to be the world's most intelligent man.

  Power Chick : Then came Eight, the hero with eight faces. Some claim the CIA was behind the mysterious fusion of eight consciousnesses into one.

  The Weevil : Eight was followed in rapid succession by U.S. Bill and his superstrength.

  Power Chick : The anti-matter-blasting bad boy, Amok.

  The Weevil : And Power Chick, who has the ability to mutate her body into any material that she touches, whether it be wood, metal, or heck, a Fruit Roll-Up.

  Power Chick : I'd be yummy then. Next came Deadly Girl, who has the ability to enter the world of the dead and then reappear anywhere she wants.

  The Weevil : And the shape-shifting Alien Orphan, whose ship crash-landed on Earth. Alien Orphan's body was originally a green globule. But little by little, our extraterrestrial pal has been able to take on what's essentially a human form.

  Power Chick : This is the group that has had such keen victories as recently saving the island province of San Felipe from a flock of murderous pterodactyls, and last fall, stopping the Anal Slug from ruining the lives of any more senior citizens.

  The Weevil : And so now, we boldly enter a new chapter in Specials history. I, for one, have a feeling that Stretchy Boy is smiling from above. Or he... he would be if... if he had a mouth.

• Cocktail Waitress : You want something to drink?

  Power Chick : I'll have a Roy Rogers, please.

  Amok : Give me a mai tai. Green boy, you want a mai tai?

  Alien Orphan : Bloody Mary.

• Power Chick : You can't do that.

  Amok : I can too.

  Power Chick : You're gonna rape dogs?

  Amok : All pets. I'm going back to being a supervillain and that's gonna be my new thing.

  Power Chick : But why animals?

  Amok : They're always looking at me.

• Power Chick : Listen, you're a good person. I like you.

  Amok : You do not.

  Power Chick : I do! Your contrariness keeps us from resting on our laurels.

  Amok : Laurels? Quit making up words.

  Power Chick : And Tony tells me you're a terrific artist.

  Amok : He did?

  Power Chick : He said your van paintings are, like, amazing.

  Amok : I did one, one time. Had a big painting of a bowl of fruit on it. It said, "Van Go." You know, Van G-O?

  Power Chick : [laughing]  That is so great!

  Amok : You wanna go back to my place? I should've saw it sooner. We're like yin and yang. Magnets.

  Power Chick : Amok.

  Amok : What?

  Power Chick : I'm gay! I was on the cover of "Out" magazine.

  Amok : You're gay?

  Power Chick : But I think you're great.

  Amok : Motherfucker.

• Amok : Me, you, Doug, Smart? We'll form our own supergroup.

  Power Chick : Doug, get your mouth off that.

  Alien Orphan : [hanging onto a mounted TV]  Dennis Weaver.

  Power Chick : I don't care who it is.

  Alien Orphan : It's bad enough I've gotta fill my forest with green cops. Speaking of which, where is McCloud?

  Amok : No more Bloody Marys for that guy.

  Power Chick : Doug.

  Amok : I got a name for the group.

  Power Chick : Really?

  Amok : The Fuck Kills. Our motto would be: "You think you're bad? Fuck you! We're gonna kill you." Fuck Kills.