Osmosis Jones (2001)
William Shatner: Mayor Phlegmming
Photos
Quotes
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Reporter : What do you have to say to all the hair follicles recently laid off form the scalp?
Mayor Phlegming : There will be plenty of new jobs for everyone on the back.
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Mayor Phlegming : Good evening, citizens of Frank. In the past few weeks of the campaign, my opponent has thrown around a lot of fancy words to try to confuse the issues. Words like "exercise," "low-fat," and "diet" - words designed to scare us into changing what has worked for so many years. Well, I say let's stay the course. Remember, a fat Frank is a happy Frank.
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Leah : Mayor, something freaky is going on with the weather.
Mayor Phlegming : We're probably just drinking some hot coffee.
Leah : Sir, look at the maps. What if Jones is right?
Mayor Phlegming : Jones? Ha ha ha! Funny, funny.
Leah : You care more about your stupid re-election than you care about all our lives. Something is going on, and I'm going to the hypothalamus to check it out.
Mayor Phlegming : Hypowhothewhatisit? Leah, wait! Who's gonna answer the phones?
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Mayor Phlegming : Son, do me a favor and read what it says on your arm.
Drix : 'For the temporary relief of symptoms associated with... '
Mayor Phlegming : Exactly! Temporary. You're nothing but a wannabe, a placebo, a generic brand. Marked-down, over-the-counter, useless Tic-Tac! NOW, GET OUT OF MY BODY!
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Mayor Phlegming : You keep those ideas inside that mushy little head of yours, or you'll find yourself in our next nosebleed.
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Police Chief : Jones, in my office!
Osmosis Jones : Hey, hey! Who died? Other than Thrax, that is.
[turns to Leah]
Osmosis Jones : Brandy, I mean Leah, what are you doing here?
Mayor Phlegming : You really did it now, Jones.
Osmosis Jones : Mr. Mayor! I didn't see you back there!
Mayor Phlegming : Disregarding orders, destruction of public fresh, popping a pimple without a permit! What the heck were you doing there?
Osmosis Jones : What was I doing? I was promoting good health, sir!
Mayor Phlegming : Oh, is that what you call it.
Drix : Sir, he was a lethal virus, if we hadn't stop him.
Osmosis Jones : We'd be fried eggs off of Frank's butt!
Mayor Phlegming : Watch your mouth, kid, talk like that could cause a panic!
Osmosis Jones : At least, that would start people thinking about what's going on in this body, instead of thinking about some stupid trip!
Drix : Okay, Jones. You want us to start thinking? Well, here's a thought: YOU'RE FIRED!
[Osmosis Jones began to shocked]
Drix : Uh, sir.
Leah : Mr. Mayor.
Mayor Phlegming : I'll need your badge, mister.
Osmosis Jones : Figures... I finally do something for Frank and I get fired.
[puts the badges on the table. Osmosis glares at Leah and leaves]
Leah : Osmosis.
Drix : Please, without Jones, Frank could have been a mortal danger.
Mayor Phlegming : Ohh, mortal danger, mmm. You'd love to prove that, wouldn't you, Drixenol? Get your name written up in the New England journal of medicine. Son, do me a favor and read what it says on your arm.
Drix : [sees that on his arm] For the temporary relief of symptoms associated with...
Mayor Phlegming : Exactly. Temporary. You're nothing but a wannabe, a placebo, a generic brand, marked down over the counter useless tic-tac!
[Drix gasps, shocked in horror]
Mayor Phlegming : Now, get out of my BODY!