Terror Firmer (1999)

Mo Fischer: Andy

Photos 

Quotes 

• Jennifer : I'm glad that wasn't a real knife.

  Andy : If course it was not a real knife. We wouldn't even allow a butter knife on the set. We all know Benjamin's three simple rules to safety. One, safety to humans. Two, safety to people's property. And three, make a good movie.

  Casey : Yeah, too bad he can't seem to get rule three right.

• DJ : Hey, you seen Christine?

  Andy : I thought she went outside to practice her lines. Didn't you know that?

  DJ : I knew that. Everyone thinks that DJ doesn't know shit! DJ knows shit! I know where Christine is. She's with that grip Nikolai again!

  [Andy and Tina walk off and approach the Toddster] 

  Andy : Hey Todd, are you gonna be ready in five?

  Toddster : I would be ready now if the fact that our fearless leader, our "brilliant" director, didn't blow out my sound system with his ultra-real 44 Magnum blast in that last scene.

  Tina - Script Girl : So, how long then?

  Toddster : Long enough for you to suck the Todd rod, and for you to be gurgilling with the Todd wadd!

  Andy : [grabs Toddster's crotch]  That's enough!

  Toddster : What the fuck, dude! I'll put up with the awful cheese sandwiches for lunch. I'll put up with the crew on this set that fucking sucks! But I draw the line at ball crunching! I quit! I fucking quit! The Toddster is out of here and I'm taking my sound equipment with me. Sayonadra suckers!

• Larry Benjamin : Hey, Andy are you there? Are we all ready to shoot the next scene?

  Andy : Actually no, we're going to have to stop production. The sound guy just quit.

  Larry Benjamin : Aw man, not the Toddster! He had good potential. Ah, what the heck, let's shoot the scene anyway. We don't need sound.

  Andy : Larry, the next scene is Sergeant Kabukiman delivering the Gettysburg Address.

  Larry Benjamin : Oh... well I guess we can just scratch that. Hey, let's go to that wild party scene. I can see it now... we do a nice slow disolve to the fraternity scene. The night scene...

• Andy : Hey Larry, where the fuck did the fat kid go?

  Larry Benjamin : Yaeger? I sent him over to Jerry in special effects. He's having his head life cast for the head crushing scene we're filming next. Yaeger's the guy who's going to get his head squished between the cheeks of Toxie's ass.

  Andy : Larry, it would be so much faster and cheaper if we use this watermellon with a wig on it like you always do.

  Larry Benjamin : I know, but this is one movie we ain't skipping on.