Simon Sez (1999)

Director:

Kevin Elders

Writers:

Moshe Diamant (story) &
Rudy Cohen (story) ...
(more)

Release Date:

29 October 1999 (Estonia)

Genre:

Action | Comedy

Tagline:

It Ain't Over Til ... (Simon Sez)

Plot:

Plot Keywords:

Intentionally Misspelled Title | Agent | Monk | Motorcycle | Independent Film

Cast

Dennis Rodman	...	Simon
Dane Cook	...	Nick Miranda
John Pinette	...	Micro
Ricky Harris	...	Macro
Filip Nikolic	...	Michael Gabrielli (as Filip Nikolitch)
Natalia Cigliuti	...	Claire Fence
Emma Wiklund	...	The Dancer (as Emma Sjoberg)
Jérôme Pradon	...	Ashton
Xin Xin Xiong	...	Xin Xin (Bodyguard)
Henry Courseaux	...	Bernard Gabrielli
Igor De Savitch	...	Colonel Jacques Telore
Clayton Day	...	William Fence
Jean-Michel Dagory	...	Frenais
Pierre Madengar	...	Etiophian Vendor
Kevin Elders	...	British Reporter / Cartoon Voice
Mitchell Waite	...	Dancer's Boyfriend
Auguste Gouiran	...	The Shepherd
Fabrice Tressols	...	Ashton's Driver
Fatty	...	Cleaning Lady
Cyrille Dufaut	...	Malcolm
Jean-Elie Pucci	...	Hooligan
Jamal Belhadi	...	Hooligan
Frederic Garcia	...	Hooligan
Bernard Deloche	...	Henchman
Sonny Stark	...	Henchman
Versace Fortune	...	Henchman
rest of cast listed alphabetically:
Marie Dame	...	Pink Fax Lady (uncredited)

Directed by
Kevin Elders

Writing credits
Moshe Diamant		(story) &
Rudy Cohen		(story)
Andrew Miller		(writer) &
Andrew Lowery		(writer)

Produced by
Rudy Cohen	....	executive producer
Limor Diamant	....	co-producer
Moshe Diamant	....	producer
Daniel S. Frisch	....	executive producer
Kevin Jones	....	executive producer
Dwight Manley	....	associate producer
Peter Nelson	....	associate producer
Peter W. Nelson	....	associate producer
Ringo Lam	....	executive producer (uncredited)

Original Music by
Brian Tyler

Cinematography by
Avraham Karpick		(as Avi Karpick)

Film Editing by
Alain Jakubowicz

Casting by
Illana Diamant

Production Design by
Damien Lanfranchi

Art Direction by
François Saliusch		(as François Salish)

Set Decoration by
Michel Rollant

Costume Design by
Jaleh Falk

Makeup Department
Lawrence Falk	....	key hair stylist
Catherine Ichou	....	assistant makeup artist
Sandra Lovi	....	additional makeup artist
Alain Luzy	....	hair stylist
Richard Luzy	....	makeup artist

Production Management
Daniel S. Frisch	....	executive in charge of production (as Dan Frisch)
Bernard Mazauric	....	production manager
James Portolese	....	production manager: second unit

Second Unit Director or Assistant Director
Luc Etienne	....	first assistant director
James Hagger	....	second assistant director: second unit
Rémy Julienne	....	second unit director
Gilles Kenny	....	second second assistant director
Claire Letouze	....	first assistant director: second unit
Valerie Manonni	....	second assistant director: second unit
Paola Ricotti	....	first assistant director: second unit
Yann Thomas	....	second assistant director
Xin Xin Xiong	....	action director

Art Department
Marcel Colomb	....	assistant art director
Herve Lespert	....	set dresser
Joseph Martinez	....	construction coordinator
Manu Poupard	....	chargehand stand-by props
Paul Purdy	....	property master
Michel Rollant	....	set designer
John Wong	....	storyboard supervisor

Sound Department
Gregg Barbanell	....	foley artist
Kris Campbell	....	adr supervisor
Kris Campbell	....	foley supervisor
Catherine Harper	....	foley artist
Sarah Jacobs	....	foley artist
Steve Jaszkowiak	....	foley mixer
John Kestler	....	sound editor
Donald Murray	....	dialogue supervisor
Vince Nicastro	....	foley artist
Barry Reed	....	production sound mixer
John Rice	....	sound editor
Jean-Charles Ruault	....	production sound mixer
Jean-François Schenegg	....	boom operator
Phillip Seretti	....	sound re-recording mixer
Phillip Seretti	....	sound supervisor
Robert W. Vandling	....	sound effects supervisor
Janja Vujovich	....	post-production sound coordinator
Howard Weiss	....	post-production sound engineer

Special Effects by
Gilbert Pelosi	....	special effects coordinator
Maurice Zisswiller	....	special effects supervisor
Valerie Zisswiller	....	special effects coordinator

Visual Effects by
Jim Carbonetti	....	digital compositor
Mike Hatfield	....	visual effects
Kim Lavery	....	visual effects producer
Janet Quen	....	digital effects artist
Alison Savitch	....	visual effects supervisor
Robert Tucker	....	digital artist
Cania	....	paint artist (uncredited)
Robert Hoffmeister	....	senior compositing artist (uncredited)

Stunts
Mario Andres	....	stunts
Virginie Arnaud	....	stunt double: Ms. Sjöberg
Virginie Arnaud	....	stunts
Laurent Aubugeau	....	stunt driver
Laurent Avare	....	stunts
Michel Baretta	....	stunt driver
Eric Baronne	....	stunt driver
Gilbert Bataille	....	stunt driver
Antonio Benedict	....	stunt double: Mr. Rodman
Didier Brule	....	stunt driver
Fabrice Calascione	....	stunt driver
Rémi Canaple	....	assistant stunt coordinator
Rémi Canaple	....	stunts
Patrick Cauderlier	....	stunt coordinator
Antony Chabert	....	stunts
Shek Chan	....	stunts: Hong Kong (as Chan Shek)
Jacques Cosma	....	stunts
Andrés Darío	....	stunts
Carle David	....	stunts
Yan Dron	....	stunts (as Yann Dron)
Cyrille Dufaut	....	stunt driver (as Cyrulle Dufaut)
Chin Hung Fan	....	stunts: Hong Kong (as Fan Chin Hung)
Daniel Ferrant	....	stunt driver
Frederic Garcia	....	stunts
Enrico Horn	....	stunts
Rémy Julienne	....	vehicle stunt director
Jean-Claude Justice	....	stunt driver
Pascal Lavanchy	....	stunt driver
Brigitte Magnin	....	stunt driver
Pascal Mercuri	....	stunts
Jean-Loup Michon	....	stunts (as Jean-Loup Michou)
Florent Mismetti	....	stunts
Dino Morelli	....	stunt driver
Jean Olivier	....	stunt driver
Jean-Elie Pucci	....	stunts
Dominique Ricou	....	stunts
Christophe Roblin	....	stunt driver
Saavedra Stephne	....	stunt driver
Samuel Vidili	....	stunt driver
Olivier Vitrant	....	stunts
Patricia Vosges	....	stunt driver
Chun Kang Wang	....	stunts: Hong Kong (as Wang Chun Kang)
Cho Wah Wong	....	stunts: Hong Kong (as Wong Cho Wah)
Xin Xin Xiong	....	stunt coordinator: second unit (as Xiong Xin Xin)

Camera and Electrical Department
Alexandre Bon	....	first assistant camera: second unit
Frederic Bravo	....	video assist operator
Tony Cheung	....	director of photography: second unit
Denis Garnier	....	clapper loader
Sophie Lemaire	....	first assistant camera: "a" camera
Jean-Marie Lopez	....	gaffer
Marco Pieroni	....	steadicam operator
Didier Pousol	....	dolly grip
Didier Pousol	....	key grip
Charlet Recors	....	director of photography: second unit
Eric Sacher	....	crane technician: akela crane
Jean-Pierre Supe	....	camera operator
Martin Szecsanov	....	first assistant camera
Rico Torres	....	still photographer
Felix Touret	....	crane technician: akela crane
Frédéric Vial	....	first assistant camera: "b" camera
Frédéric Vial	....	second assistant camera
Claudio Zamarion	....	focus puller

Casting Department
Charlette Mazauric	....	casting: France
Denice Robin	....	casting assistant: France

Costume and Wardrobe Department
Michele Badrutt	....	wardrobe assistant
Magali Bottin	....	assistant costume designer
Catherine Caldray	....	costume supervisor
Lucienne Fettucciari	....	wardrobe assistant
Marie Paule Kanar	....	assistant costume designer

Editorial Department
Michael J. Duthie	....	additional editor
Sabine El Gemayel	....	associate editor
François Itey	....	assistant editor
Dennis McNeill	....	color timer
Eric Rigney	....	avid technician
Julia Wong	....	assistant editor

Music Department
Brian Tyler	....	conductor
Brian Tyler	....	orchestrator

Transportation Department
Jean Bourrelly	....	transportation captain

Other crew
Sophie Aude	....	production secretary
Laurence Coutaud-Garnier	....	production coordinator
Christophe Gabbiati	....	armorer
Christophe Gabbiati	....	weapons safety supervisor
Beatrice Giraud	....	production accountant
Avery Glymph	....	dialogue coach
François Guerrar	....	unit publicist
Christophe Maratier	....	armorer
Christophe Maratier	....	weapons safety supervisor
Joel Maytie	....	accountant
David Moquay	....	title designer
Roberto Robin	....	location manager
Beverly Sutton	....	production coordinator
Samantha Timmerman	....	script supervisor
Xin Xin Xiong	....	action director
Fabrice Ziolkowski	....	dialogue coach

Production Companies

• Global Entertainment Productions GmbH & Company Medien KG
• Signature Pictures

Distributors

• Columbia TriStar Film (Germany)
• Columbia TriStar Films (France)
• Independent Artists (I)
• LK-TEL (2000) (Argentina) (DVD)
• LK-TEL (2000) (Argentina) (VHS)
• Sony Pictures Video

Special Effects

• Cinema Research (visual effects)
• Gravity, Myths & Legends and NRW (additional visual effects)
• Threshold Digital Research Labs (computer graphics)

MPAA:

Rated PG-13 for violence and sexuality.

Runtime:

85 min | Argentina:90 min

Country:

USA | Germany | Belgium

Language:

English

Color:

Color

Aspect Ratio:

1.85 : 1

Sound Mix:

Dolby Digital | SDDS

Certification:

Iceland:12 | Philippines:PG-13 | Argentina:13 | Germany:16 | Mexico:B | Peru:14 | Sweden:15 | UK:12 | USA:PG-13

Filming Locations:

Cagnes-sur-Mer, Alpes-Maritimes, France

Company:

Global Entertainment Productions GmbH & Company Medien KG

Goofs:

Continuity: Simon shoves a bad guy (wearing a red jacket) out an office window. The guy goes out backward. The next shot, from above, shows a dummy falling face-first. The next shot shows the stuntman falling backward again, obviously on a safety wire.

Quotes:

Ashton: Stupid bee! You're just a fly with a stinger on your arse!

Movie Connections:

References Jurassic Park (1993)

Soundtrack:

Dr. Strangelove

Simon Sez cover your eyes and ears from this shitstorm...

(r#40)

TV 3, a "quality" TV channel here in Sweden, recently decided to have a bottom 100-marathon and showed BOTH Gigli and this turkey during the same night. Now, I don't know any of TV3's producers personally, but it seems to me like they're torturing us rather than entertaining us. Simon Sez is a "comedy" so offensively stupid, it makes the Scary Movie series look like Bergman films. It seems to have been written by six year olds, for six year olds, but the foul language and violence would be too much for kids, so what was the target demographic, anyway? Oh right, idiots.

Dennis Rodman, professional basketball player (which is always a good sign) stars as Simon, a secret agent of some kind. He takes part in a kidnapping gone wrong. I won't waste any more time explaining the plot because it couldn't have taken more than a few seconds to write it. Simon is accompanied on his mission by annoying white sidekick Nick Miranda (played by excruciatingly unfunny Dane Cook), who desperately wants to be Jim Carrey, and a sexy Emma Sjöberg.

This is not a good movie. It's over-flooded by dumb action, hilariously retarded lines, and annoying characters. My favourite is the English/French/something villain Jérôme Pradon who wants to blow up the Eiffel Tower ("Why? Because it's big and it's beautiful and I'm tired of looking at it!"). Best line since "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn". Seriously.

Even the special effects suck. Avoid! And TV3, how about a Coleman Francis marathon next Sunday?