Animaniacs: Wakko's Wish (1999 Video)

Paxton Whitehead: King Salazar

Quotes 

• King Salazar : You horrible children! Who taught you how to behave?

  Wakko Warner : [sadly]  No one, sir.

  Dot Warner : You see - cough! Cough! We're orphans.

  King Salazar : Yes, well, everyone has problems.

  Yakko Warner : [Bambi eyes]  You know, we'd SO like to be adopted.

  Wakko Warner : Will you be our new daddy?

  King Salazar : Certainly not!

  Dot Warner : [jumps on him]  Buy me a toy, daddy! Buy me a toy, buy me a toy, buy me a toy!

  Wakko Warner : Oh, please Dad! Do!

  King Salazar : I'm not your father!

  Yakko Warner : That's not what Mommy said.

• King Salazar : I know - I'll wish for a million bucks. No! Make that two million bucks!

  Yakko Warner : Sounds good to me.

  [Salazar is suddenly trampled by a herd of male deer] 

  Yakko Warner : Just be glad it's not mating season.

  [One of the deer makes a romantic face at Salazar] 

• King Salazar : When will this insanity stop?

  Dot Warner , Yakko Warner , Wakko Warner : I know! Pick me! Pick me! I know!

  King Salazar : Yes, you.

  Dot Warner : Daaaaah... what was the question?

  Yakko Warner , Wakko Warner : Good Answer! All right!

• King Salazar : [talking about King Salazar's wishes]  How about fame and fortune?

  Yakko Warner : Here's Fame with Irene Cara and a subscription to Fortune Magazine!

• King Salazar : How about the Midas touch? Everything I touch will turn to gold.

  Yakko Warner : Yeah, including food. Try eating a solid gold turkey. Adios bicuspids!

• King Salazar : [talking about wishes]  How about eternal youth? That I could be sixteen forever?

  Dot Warner : Yeah and you'd live that same year over and over and you'd have zits and no one would ever date you!

• Yakko Warner : Oh, riiiight! The secrets about the wishing star- right! Yeah. You see, the key to the whole thing is... Uh, you got a little something in your nose.

  King Salazar : Huh? Where?

  Yakko Warner : Right there.

  King Salazar : [sniffs]  Did I get it?

  Yakko Warner : Yeah - noooo, no, still there.

  King Salazar : [sniffs again]  How about now?

  Yakko Warner : Now it's over there. Ooh.

  King Salazar : [wipes]  How about now?

  Yakko Warner : No. Ugh.

  Dot Warner , Wakko Warner : Ewww! Get it! Get it! Get it!

  Yakko Warner : Please! Could you go to the bathroom and take care of it? Oof. I mean, whoops!

  [gags] 

  King Salazar : Oh, all right!

  [Goes into the bathroom. Wakko jumps down and locks the door] 

  Yakko Warner , Dot Warner , Wakko Warner : [dancing]  We're in charge! We're in charge!

• King Salazar : Your job, Baron, is to stop those villagers from getting to the star, by any means necessary.

  Baron Thaddeus von Plotz III , Ralph the Guard : Yes, sir!

  King Salazar : Oh, and those three kids, Yakko, Wakko and Dot.

  Baron Thaddeus von Plotz III : Y-yes, sir?

  King Salazar : I don't want them showing up at the wishing star.

  Baron Thaddeus von Plotz III : I'll slow them down, sir.

  King Salazar : You're not catching my drift.

  Baron Thaddeus von Plotz III : Well, I'll try to steer them off course.

  King Salazar : I don't want to see them again... alive.

  Baron Thaddeus von Plotz III : But they're just kids. How much trouble can they be?

  King Salazar : You have no idea. So don't think of them as kids, Baron. Think of them as the dearly departed, or you'll be likewise!