Hot Wax Zombies on Wheels (1999) Poster

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2/10
Dull, mostly.
druquzdog30 December 2006
Pretty awful stuff. Even though I thought I knew I was getting into a trashy trashy movie it exceeded my expectations of badness. The worst thing about it though is that it's just dull. I was almost falling asleep a lot despite not being tired, I was up for hours after it finished! Some people will like it, but only very, very easily entertained simple-minded folks with no sense of discretion in what they watch. Hell, I like a bunch of Troma and other low budget trash like Ankle Biters and Troll 2. Don't make the mistake of thinking that this is in that class. Those movies are actually funny. The thing with this one is that it trys to be funny and manages only to mildly amuse for a second here and there.

One thing, if you are a fan of fake boobs you will probably think it's great, as there is a fair amount of attempting to wax womens tits for some reason. Well, the reason being to show plastic tits for those that like that kind of thing. I'm a naturals fan, so this movie really had nothing for me at all.
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1/10
One of the worst!
capkronos30 December 2003
You think full body waxing is painful? Then try suffering through this inane travesty, which HAS to be one of the most irritating and incompetently made horror comedies I have ever had the misfortune of suffering through.

Sharon (Jill Miller), a lingerie saleslady and city council member, and Sven (Tre Lovell), a barber and her best friend, team up to stop `Chez Yvonne,' a beauty salon which specializes in the removal of body hair. Using a specially formulated wax treatment, innocent customers are turned into lusty living dead minions who chant `no more pesky body hair' over and over again and have insatiable sex drives. The evil lady in charge, Yvonne Wayne (soft porn actress Gwen Somers in a blonde wig), is a cackling, caped, motorcycle-riding dominatrix who moves from city to city turning folks into `zombies' (the filmmakers didn't bother with any make-up or special effects).

Unmercifully overacted by the entire talent-barren cast, the director (who apparently does not understand the meaning of scene continuity) stoops to using speeded-up film, `comical' sound effects (`boing!,' kazoo, flatulence, etc.) and T&A provided by women who look like they've been around the block (a few thousand times) in an attempt to entertain his audience. He fails miserably. Interjected mid-scene, for no apparent reason other than to pad out the running time, are flashes of the moon or boats or lightning or even military stock footage. I honestly had to stop this video four times and take a breather before I could finish it. Let's hope we never have to hear from director Mike J. Roush or scripter Elizabeth S.J. Bergholz ever again, but after this, it is doubtful we will.

Score: 1 out of 10
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Silly, but fun
myteenpopstar26 March 2004
Granted this will not win any awards, but I found it funny, in a stupid kind of way. The director obviously didn't intend for the film to be a serious horror film, and it's in the very presentation of it being a serious film that makes it funny. To me, this is a grab-a-beer-sit-and-giggle movie. It's a little slow in the first 15 minutes, but then seems to pick up tempo. The soundtrack is great! I've been looking for the soundtrack to buy, but can;t seem to find it. For anyone interested in seeing this - there's very little skin, though it does have some topless scenes. It's a romp, if you're in a silly mood. Having been around independent productions, the screen quality of this film is tremendous.
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1/10
I like bad movies BUT
Kanexz2 June 2018
My only requirement is production value. I'm just not down with 7th grade video projects for the camera club. That brings us to this. This is just friggen pathetic. FIN
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1/10
Just plain horrible
cyclone_us12 January 2003
For the record, I am a connoisseur of bad movies. Every Sunday I grab a cold 40 (of beer) and watch a bad movie with my buddies. I love movies that try hard, yet make you wonder, "What the hell were they thinking?" We've seen some great ones: Rad, Midnight Madness, Escape from New York, Gymkata, Breakin'...

From the title, Hot Wax Zombies on Wheels, I thought I'd really found a film with promise. Oh how horribly wrong I was! This movie is too bad to even laugh at, let alone with. It's obvious that they weren't even trying. I'm still not sure whether they were trying for horror spoof or just soft porn. Either way, they failed miserably. Even if you could tolerate the bad acting, inane dialogue, and incomprehensible plot, you still won't be able to handle the cartoon sound effects, flying fish in every other scene, and excruciatingly slow pace. Yes, it's even worse than Frankenhooker.

I've never written a review here before, but I felt compelled to do so in the hope that I can prevent others from wasting their time and money on this mess.
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1/10
Pour some hot wax on this mess
pumaye20 April 2003
This movie is one of the worst I have seen in all of my life (and I've seen very bad movies): it's a total incorehent mess, a comedy of horror that isn't able to bring out a single laugh from you. Even the several nude scenes are ludicrous at best. A movie that need to be buried into hot wax for the rest of time
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1/10
Dumb and dreadful
Leofwine_draca21 April 2017
Warning: Spoilers
HOT WAX ZOMBIES ON WHEELS is your usual example of a middling, nonsensical Z-grade movie hiding beneath an amusingly exploitative title. Having just watched it, I still have no idea what is meant by a 'hot wax zombie'; this film's about a biker gang and a beauty salon and there's nary a zombie in sight. It's a film packed with crude humour and wooden acting, set in a small town seemingly populated by blonde bimbos and dumb guys. The film has quite extensive nudity but the version showing on Amazon Prime censors all of it with some crude emojis that certainly didn't exist when this film was released in 1999.
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1/10
Don't be fooled by the somewhat interesting title, it's hot garbage!
Oh merciful heavens, is this ever one of the most terrible 'zombie' movies to be put out there, for a start it wasn't even really about zombies from what little I was able to discern from the incoherent chaos that they called the plot, it was mostly just a lot of footage of very scantily clad females riding on motorcycles, and maybe to some that constitutes an enjoyable bad horror movie but nah, this was just rotten, there was no story! It's funny the way that no matter how many bottom of the barrel efforts you see there's always the glorious poop-diamonds like this winner here just waiting around the corner to give you a big surprise! The ones like this are truly the worst because they're such earsplitting pains to sit through and are positively bursting at the seams with stupid, and Hot Wax Zombies on Wheels is one of the worst most incompetent pieces of zombie movie trash I have ever come across in all my movie watching days, and so please, if you should ever have the misfortune to find a copy of this in some bargain bin somewhere, do yourself a favour and buy it, so that you may subsequently, burn it!
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1/10
Amazing!
arfdawg-130 April 2023
You say you want a great storyline?

You sau you want excellent directing?

You say you want superb writing?

You say you want an amazing cast with incredible acting?

You say you want a musical tracl for the ages?

You say you want to be glued to your seat wonding what comes next?

You say you want the most satisfyig movie you've ever seen?

Well you better think about looking elsewhere because this puppy fais on every measurement except the 38 Double D's.

It's a movie that is basically one step above Troma garbage. A small step at that.

Not sure who put the money up for this fiasco, bt they must have lost a bundle.
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9/10
Pour some wax on the reviews!
kikigirl725255 May 2004
I saw this film a couple years ago in Modesto at Firelight Shocks. No one knew what it was supposed to be, but the title alone made us curious. Plus, it was on in the middle of the night right after "Evil Dead" and we had nothing else better to do. What a bizarre surprise. It was very funny and the audience couldn't stop laughing. Some people actually clapped at the end and not because they were glad it was over! You could tell the actors looked like they were having a lot of fun. I don't know about the dvd, but in the theatre it looked and sounded great. Bad production values? Whatever that means it's not what we saw. Maybe it's because we all had nowhere else to go, but it was sure a memorable, silly experience.
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Film score credit correction
seapeep111120 December 2010
I like the movie. Low budget but fun. Remember this movie was geared to a young guys mentality. It's a bit silly however has a cult feel to it.

I was involved in the film's sound track production.

For the record, The song "Slip Away" that was produced by Vin Matland and myself, was not used in the film. "Love is a Train" was used. It was performed by Bake West and was produced by Vin Matland and Marc Freeman.

Bake West's new CD "Hunters Roost" will be released on 1/1/11. You can hear it as well as the rest of his CD catalog at CDBaby.com

I like what this guy does!
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8/10
Cheesy and watchable, but unspectacular
slayrrr66619 January 2009
Warning: Spoilers
"Hot Wax Zombies on Wheels" is nothing more than cheesy entertainment.

**SPOILERS**

In the town of Daneport, Sharon, (Jill Miller) Sven, (Trevor Lovell) and Mick, (Jon Briddell) bemoan the lack of activity in town, but she is immediately put off when Yvonne Wayne, (Gwen Somers) comes into town with a new business venture. Opening up a hair-removal waxing salon, the other members in town are initially cold to the concept but are soon under her spell and mantra for a hair-free world. Not buying into the spell, she decides to investigate the salon, and finds that the process involved turns the recipient into a ravenous, sexually-uninhibited zombie made out of wax, and that she has plans to turn the whole world onto the treatments, giving her control over a vast army of the dead. Fearing that the rest of the town has undergone the process, she gathers who else remain and launches an attack to stop her from carrying out her diabolical plans.

The Good News: This one did have a few good parts to it that did make it somewhat watchable. The first, and perhaps best part of the film, is that this is so cheesy and goofy that it starts to become enjoyable after awhile. There's a constant influx of jokes, most of them coming from the citizens in town at the reaction to the newcomers, but then there's the propensity to add a slew of sight gags or visual jokes throughout that are somewhat funny at times. The inclusion of military-archive footage of massive guns being fired to coincide with them firing guns in the film is pretty funny since it isn't a large number, the sound effects of the zombies groping flesh also works as well, and there's a slew of others throughout the film also gets some laughs from time to time. The general premise of the film is also enough to get some laughs, with a woman bringing a waxing salon to a small town to turn them into sexually-insatiable creatures, that it's somewhat cheesy on it's own but then the constant references to being unfit with pesky-body-hair that there's some downright cheesy feelings to come along from the film. It's one of it's best parts, as well as the fact that the film actually manages to feature some action in the film. The different confrontations with the couple in the headquarters are quite fun, as well as a big confrontation in the salon at the end. The best one, though, is the sequence at the public-access show that turns into a comedic sequence involving cat-fight brawling, ballroom dancing, lesbian grappling and more in a really funny, enjoyable sequence. The last plus is the fact that there's some really decent nudity on display from a variety of different areas, and it's quite fun. These here are the film's good points.

The Bad News: This one did have a couple of flaws to it that do keep it down. The first one is the fact that this one really has so little horror it seems more like a comedy than a straight-up entry. It's so hard to be able to find much fear in a premise based around an evil hair-removal company, which isn't that threatening based on what's been done about it to begin with, but to be able to use that to suck all the energy out of the film and not provide anything worthwhile to horror fans at all. The zombies here not only behave outside the normal realms of what happens to zombies, and it manages to make them seem boring and non-threatening as well, which must be a first for these movies, but it's the fact that here they're wise-cracking people who have shiny skin and don't even get to chow down on anyone. There's nothing to indicate that they're different except for the shiny skin, no make-up, no ravenous tackling of others to get to flesh, nothing at all, and it's sometimes hard to call them zombies because of that. That there's so little screen-time with them is another big problem, maybe it's biggest, since it's almost forty-five minutes into the film before anything slightly close to being a horror scene, which means that there's only slightly more than a half-hour to get anything in, and coupled with everything else, it doesn't offer up much either way. These here are the film's problems.

The Final Verdict: While it's got a really cheesy atmosphere and a couple good points, the fact that there's still a couple of problems keeps this one from being higher. Give it a shot if you're up for this kind of cheesy film or find it interesting, though the more hardcore zombie fans should take caution.

Rated R: Nudity, Language, several sex scenes and Mild Violence
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A 12-day quickie with porno-grade production values but no hardcore payoff!
TheVid23 May 2003
Lots of amateurs behind and in front of the camera for this grade-z home movie, but not one of them is able to bring anything of value to this schlock. There's not a single joke that works. Oh well, the DVD makes an interesting drink coaster.
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