Your Studio and You (1995)
Traci Lords: Traci Lords
Quotes
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Narrator : But what if our gate was more Artist Friendly? We'll start with the guards. Those dark uniforms connote oppression and conformity.
[*bing!* The guards' uniforms change]
Narrator : But new outfits, with pastel colors and high, pretty collars, seem to say, "I'm your friend, not your enemy."
[*bing!* Buttons appear on the shirts, reading, "Universal is A-OK!"]
Narrator : How about some inspiring buttons to show our optimism? And what about that security gate? Black and white lines may remind artists of police and fear.
[*bing!* The gate is ridiculously decorated]
Narrator : But a new gate, with attractive flowers and colorful birds, becomes a lovely decoration, not just a deterrent.
[*bing!* Floral arrangements appear around the guard kiosk]
Narrator : Now with just a few more changes...
[*bing!* A tacky lawn ornament appears]
Narrator : And some attractive porcelain deer, our gate is now Artist Friendly, and ready for the future. So how do you feel now, Miss Actress?
Traci Lords : I feel welcome and relaxed for a meeting at Universal.
[She drives off]
Narrator : That's splendid. Too bad the part you want will probably go to Demi Moore.
Traci Lords : [car screeches to halt] WHAT?
Narrator : Oh, nothing. Here, have a wine cooler, compliments of your new studio.