- [Hauling out a bad guy rolled up in a carpet]
- Bradford: Is there a guy in there?
- Chapel: Yeah. He sold me a bad rug. I was pretty mad about it.
- [after hitting a guy with a Bible]
- Chapel: Those Gideons make a very effective product, don't they? And they're free - what's up with that? What do they do, sneak into hotel rooms at night? Have you ever met a Gideon? I guess not.
- Chapel: If you try that again, I'll break every bone in your body, one per second. That's 206 seconds, maybe seven, give or take a bone.