Teen Knight (1999) User Reviews

Pretty terrible

[iplaygames2 · 2/10 · 10 May 2006]

Let's see. A dry script, actors who can't even give the impression of acting, special effects that are absolutely laughable, and I've seen better swordplay between 4 year olds with empty paper towel rolls.

I wanted to like this movie, really. It has a great premise; kids at a castle get caught in a time warp, transported back to the middle ages, and have to figure out how to get home. As they look for that mystical door to their own time, they encounter sorcerers, knights, a prince, and dragons. Sounds great, huh? Well, it's just not. I tried to give it a good shot, but towards the end when Peter is fighting the other soldiers in the castle just lost it for me. It's like the actors didn't want to hit their swords together too hard, because the steel barely touches. The whole showdown with Raykin is horrid, too. The director must have told him to just 'lose' the fight, because he repeats the same mistake, over and over. Call me a stickler, but I just can't stand sword fighting scenes that a child wouldn't believe were real.

I'm stretching to give this a 2/10 rating. Maybe a child would enjoy this movie if they've never seen anything in this genre before. Once they've watched another sci-fi/fantasy film, though, steer clear of Teen Knight.

Camelot was never like this

[bkoganbing · 4/10 · 20 October 2013]

Young Kris Lemche along with several other teens wins a trip to a kind Medieval Times resort which gets transported back to some real medieval times in Teen Knight. It's all been done by a wizard back then who's got some extraordinary powers and he'd like to unleash the advances of the future in a power play back in his own era.

So what looks like a nice Westworld type romp gets very real just like in Westworld. But the robots stay behind and it's only the humans and the castle with all modern advances that go back. Oh, and a computer created dragon becomes the real mccoy.

The evil genius behind all of this is a Mordred like character played with some relish and a bit too free a rein from the director, by Marc Robinson. Fortunately there's also a Merlin character who looks just Paul Soles the owner of the Medieval Times like resort.

I honestly don't understand the hate-on for this film. It is subpar and could have used some help in the script, the direction, and the special effects. I'm sure they didn't have a budget for the last that was too lavish. But the kids were appealing and it's good family entertainment.

Full Moon's fail

[Leofwine_draca · 2/10 · 18 November 2016]

As well as churning out cheap schlocky horror, Full Moon Entertainment also financed a series of children's films that were shot in Romania in the late 1990s. Unsurprisingly the majority of these turn out to be completely dreadful, although the odd one is mildly enjoyable (I admit to getting a kick out of LITTLE GHOST). TEEN KNIGHT is the worst one yet.

This is a fantasy adventure with a historical slant. The protagonist, his buddies, and some random characters are transported back to a medieval castle slap bang in the middle of the Middle Ages and forced to fight against an evil lord with murder in mind. What you get is a gamut of cheesy acting, even cheesier fight scenes, and some quite terrible special effects. The script is diabolical and there's barely an enjoyable moment throughout the whole thing, so it's definitely one to be avoided.

Not THAT bad.

[orangestar · 19 June 2004]

If you've read the other comments, you get the feeling that this was absolutely horrible, which it wasn't. It definitely wasn't Oscar worthy, but if you get the chance to watch it, it has some small entertainment value.

The basic premise is this: A teenager wins a trip to a new 'Knights of the Round Table' themed park. He goes and meets up with the stereotypical geek and rich kids who also won the trip. They are supposed to be filming a commercial for the park. Well a big storm comes and hilarity ensues. Dragons come to life, and real knights want to kill them.

Acting is sub-par, and effects are too.

Not rent-worthy but if its on TV, give it a try.

They do have editors in movies for a reason, right?

[MSarcasm · 1/10 · 8 April 2000]

My only theory is that this movie was some sort of tax write-off for the producers. Otherwise, how do you explain actors who seemingly have never rehearsed? How do you explain a script that sounds like it was read off of a finished game of Scrabble? How do you explain sets and effects that would make Ed Wood proud?

The basic story is a kid who wins a trip to a medieval fantasy camp run by androids. Other winners include Token Nerd, Token Snobby Rich Kid, Token Snobby Girl. The film crew taping this camp for the sponsors of the contest include Token Nice Girl Who Is So Involved In Work But You Know Will Learn Not To Be So Uptight And Have More Fun By The End Of The Movie.

As luck would have it, a giant storm sweeps over the land causing calamity (*cough* Jurassic Park *cough*). The next morning our hero figures out in roughly two minutes that they've all been transported back to medieval times, wherein hijinks ensue.

It seems as if whoever made this film has never seen a movie before and has no idea how to shoot, write, or pace one. At no point did it seem like anyone knew or cared what was going to appear on screen.

This is the worst movie I've seen that wasn't on Mystery Science Theatre.

Not worth the energy to power the TV if it's on a channel you get for free!

[flaymetemper · 1/10 · 19 June 2001]

This could well be the most pathetic movie I've ever seen. I've seen kids make a better movie with a home VHS camcorder and some action figures. There was obviously no fight choreographer and it looked like the special effects were a byproduct of a 3 year old going crazy with crayons on the original film print. The one line summary says it all on this one.

Avoid this movie

[theguy567 · 1/10 · 17 January 2008]

This movie is ultimately one of the worst movies that i have ever seen. The fight scenes were horrible because its apparent that they got their sword fighting lessons off the back of a cereal box. Script for the movie sounded like a second-grader wrote it. And also very poor choice of actors. Its apparent that this movie is a total dud. So horrible, words cannot describe it. They should change the name from Teen Knight, to Teen Knightmare. When I was about to watch it, I thought "hey kid gets into medieval times and fights evil, that oughta be cool!" But instead of good action and acting, I got last minute fight scenes and script of the dead. So its best to stay away from this movie. This movie WILL burn your eyes off and WILL destroy your ears. So STAY AWAY.

Worst. Movie. Ev. Er.

[laladenise · 1/10 · 16 September 2013]

Rented this movie under the title "Medieval Park" - My 7 year old picked it out, thinking his Medieval-loving 11 yr old brother would enjoy it, and it really did sound like it would be pretty cool. WRONG! 5 minutes in it had already lost their attention. The 11 yr old labeled it "lame" from the start, although he was impressed with the castle. I didn't pay too much attention to it until they started laughing hysterically at the sword fight: tap right, tap left, tap right, tap left......really?!?! We also noticed that the boy on the face of the DVD was not even an actor in the movie. Caterina S. needs to remove this one from her resume'. Wouldn't want anyone to accidentally come across it and prejudge her performance.

a great family adventure movie

[filmocean · 8/10 · 6 February 2005]

Older, I watched this family TV movie with my nephews and they really enjoyed it. They got scared, excited, laughed, and were quite pleased with the ending of the story. It definitely is an exciting adventure film for the family. Kris Lemche, the star, is a great young actor. Script is not always up to par, but the directing is very good. Feels like the director did an incredible job with the script he was given. The Art direction has an inspiring castle, and wonderful dragons done in computer generated images. Feels like medieval Europe with Amercain & Canadian actors; a great mix. I recommend this film for your kids too. It will make them dream, and wish they could live these type of adventures. This film will make them live it!

Better Than Expected

[mikethebaptist · 6/10 · 3 August 2013]

Okay, when I saw the cover and when the movie first started, I thought, "This looks like something I could have made in my garage." But it turned out to be pretty entertaining for mindless, low-budget fare. There were some actually pretty funny parts, especially the sword fights where it looks like nobody wants to get their hands dirty and everybody looks all apologetic for landing a blow. And some great, hilarious magic fights. Some people would think that's bad acting; I think it's hilarious -- as did the 40 grade-schoolers I was watching it with.

Yes, the script is cheesy, cliché, and near-plagiaristic. Yes, the acting is pretty bad. (Although I've seen much, much worse.) The directing and editing isn't great and the special effects are embarrassing, but I was never bored watching this movie, which is more than I can say for something more "cultured" like, say "Thin Red Line?". And I personally found it much funnier than the self-proclaimed World's Funniest Movie Ever, "Knocked Up." (Which was a terrifying experience. I had to sneak into "Paranormal Activity" to actually find something to laugh at.)

"Teen Knight/Medieval Park", however it is branded in your district, makes for a rollicking fun night with the family. Plus, there were bare-shouldered medieval wenches, so a good time was had by all. But overall, this makes for a more engaging evening than many "Oscar contenders" out there. (*cough * cough* Terence Malick *cough)