The Italians are at it again. Crippled by an incoherent script, this Italian-made space opus is lost in the vacuum of space. The title, minus the word "Cosmos," was used a decade earlier during the very 'mod' 60's. The runaway satellite in that film was child's play compared to this leaky albatross. This film deals, badly, with a more lethal out-of-control planet. The man in charge, the director, had to have been on a three-day coffee break. The extras rush and jump around in a swirl of confusion. Some high school productions are more organized. One actor pronounces the word data as "da-da." When the landing party finds living beings on the planet, they all resemble an army of metallic "Mr. Cleans." Crazy. A few of the female crew members are painted into their threads. And the ridiculous skull caps are definite turn-offs. Future technology is represented by scratchy video monitors and blinking boxes of gyros and lights. Organ music saturates the soundtrack with grunts and groans, piped in from a very dark place. The final showdown pits a rabid crewman against the lead Mr. Clean. Both souls are jettisoned out an air lock. Have a nice trip.
38 Reviews
Computer says no
Chase_Witherspoon28 December 2014
So I concur with most of the reviews that suggest "War of the Planets" is an abomination, and if it weren't for the figure-hugging uniforms (as worn by the female cast), ludicrous skull-caps, a vaguely entertaining climax and a now-rare appearance by one-time international star John Richardson, this Italian sci-fi wouldn't rate at all.
Something of a "2001: A Space Odyssey" rip-off, that also seems to be channeling "Beneath the Planet of the Apes", finds rogue skipper Richardson assigned a supposedly benign mission as penance for his misbehaviour, suddenly thrust into a fatal mission to protect the earth from an omnipotent intergalactic robot that has decimated the inhabitants of a nearby planet.
There's an awful lot of cheesy special effects, unimaginative set decoration, random solar flames and ubiquitous laserblasts, underscored by the typically puerile over-dubbing, and punctuated by Strauss and other stock music of the ilk, serving as some misguided attempt at a sophisticated backdrop. It's actually very tame and very lame with little redeeming qualities. Richardson looks assured despite the tripe, and he's ably assisted by the intense-looking cast of relative unknowns (Yanti Somer, West Buchanan, Vassili Karis and Percy Hogan in a minor supporting role) as they plod through 90 minutes too long of futuristic bunkum.
Too derivative to capture a cult following, just another C-grade snore- fest that's found its way into unsuspecting loungerooms via the 1-cent movie bundles - which is not to suggest every film in those boxes of goodness are as laborious as "War of the Planets", but this is definitely one of the few to avoid.
Something of a "2001: A Space Odyssey" rip-off, that also seems to be channeling "Beneath the Planet of the Apes", finds rogue skipper Richardson assigned a supposedly benign mission as penance for his misbehaviour, suddenly thrust into a fatal mission to protect the earth from an omnipotent intergalactic robot that has decimated the inhabitants of a nearby planet.
There's an awful lot of cheesy special effects, unimaginative set decoration, random solar flames and ubiquitous laserblasts, underscored by the typically puerile over-dubbing, and punctuated by Strauss and other stock music of the ilk, serving as some misguided attempt at a sophisticated backdrop. It's actually very tame and very lame with little redeeming qualities. Richardson looks assured despite the tripe, and he's ably assisted by the intense-looking cast of relative unknowns (Yanti Somer, West Buchanan, Vassili Karis and Percy Hogan in a minor supporting role) as they plod through 90 minutes too long of futuristic bunkum.
Too derivative to capture a cult following, just another C-grade snore- fest that's found its way into unsuspecting loungerooms via the 1-cent movie bundles - which is not to suggest every film in those boxes of goodness are as laborious as "War of the Planets", but this is definitely one of the few to avoid.
I'm not used to taking orders from a machine!
rmax3048239 April 2011
Warning: Spoilers
It's true that this is a shoestring, dubbed, Italian move about a space ship that discovers a planet ruled by robots. It's true that it was released in the same year as "Star Wars." It's true that the special effects are risible. We have to add, though, that the babes in their body suits don't look so terrible. And the electronic music, though not nearly so inventive, reminds us of "Forbidden Planet." The model here was clearly not "Star Wars" but "Star Trek." The uniforms are similar, the acting ligneous, the plot formulaic -- you land on a strange planet and find its inhabitants in some situation resembling one that Earthlings might be facing in a few years, or already have faced.
I couldn't sit through the whole thing, but younger kids might enjoy it. It's not very challenging, and it's colorful and has a lot of motion. What would a kid care if a space ship was obviously a miniature dangling from a couple of wires? For adults, if you really intend to watch it, may I suggest that you chemically alter your brain before the experience? Well, maybe it doesn't matter. If you don't do it yourself, this Grade Z movie is likely to do it for you.
I couldn't sit through the whole thing, but younger kids might enjoy it. It's not very challenging, and it's colorful and has a lot of motion. What would a kid care if a space ship was obviously a miniature dangling from a couple of wires? For adults, if you really intend to watch it, may I suggest that you chemically alter your brain before the experience? Well, maybe it doesn't matter. If you don't do it yourself, this Grade Z movie is likely to do it for you.
War of the Planets
I_John_Barrymore_I23 August 2007
Deserving of a place on anyone's list of the worst films ever made, this hugely enjoyable, hopeless sci-fi rubbish has to be seen to be believed. Made the same year as Star Wars and yet still setting the genre back 30 years, this must surely be the worst film ever to be written by two guys named Al.
Most of the fun the film has to offer is to be had reading the credits at the beginning, with a host of hilarious names including Max Bonus and Charles Really. Many of the contributors are only identified by their first initials - undoubtedly a testament to their shame at having participated in this atrocity.
A hotshot space captain and his crew are sent on a dangerous mission to investigate a mysterious signal discovered in deep space. They encounter a planet ruled by a malevolent robot who has enslaved the people who created him. Turns out he sent the signal so that someone would come and fix his dodgy circuit board.
Mysterious space signals and psychopathic technology are not the only nods to 2001: A Space Odyssey. War of the Planets even boasts a space walk gone wrong, and it's even set to some homemade Strauss.
Desperately amateurish performances abound, and are made even sillier by the ridiculous costumes the entire cast wears, although I'll concede that the women do look good in their figure-hugging outfits. Crammed full of some of the most abominable "special effects" I've ever seen in a film, this is well worth a look if you're into truly awful cinema.
Most of the fun the film has to offer is to be had reading the credits at the beginning, with a host of hilarious names including Max Bonus and Charles Really. Many of the contributors are only identified by their first initials - undoubtedly a testament to their shame at having participated in this atrocity.
A hotshot space captain and his crew are sent on a dangerous mission to investigate a mysterious signal discovered in deep space. They encounter a planet ruled by a malevolent robot who has enslaved the people who created him. Turns out he sent the signal so that someone would come and fix his dodgy circuit board.
Mysterious space signals and psychopathic technology are not the only nods to 2001: A Space Odyssey. War of the Planets even boasts a space walk gone wrong, and it's even set to some homemade Strauss.
Desperately amateurish performances abound, and are made even sillier by the ridiculous costumes the entire cast wears, although I'll concede that the women do look good in their figure-hugging outfits. Crammed full of some of the most abominable "special effects" I've ever seen in a film, this is well worth a look if you're into truly awful cinema.
You really have to see it to believe it.
tomimt19 November 2007
Warning: Spoilers
There's something very captivating about this movie. It's not because of high quality, quite the opposite really: you very seldom see lack of quality in this level. I mean scene after scene, you think that the low point has been reached, but it really isn't. There's always a new line of dialog or some random bad cut, or then it just might be the absolutely horrendous, yet in some ways fascinating soundtrack, which is most of the time totally inappropriate for the mood or just plain weird.
I couldn't help but to watch, how this ceremony of incompetence unfolded before my very eyes. Like a mouse, who knows he's going to his doom, I couldn't help but to watch it through, unable to witch it off. There was this ticking in the back of my head, that whimpered: It can't be that bad all the time. Surely there must be something good about it. But there wasn't. The acting got poorer and poorer by the minute, while the script kept flowing from sheer silly to borderline mental.
A word about the plot: A strange signal from space is received and a stubborn, machine hating captain Hamilton (John Richardson) is sent to investigate. Sure enough, he and his crew encounter some UFO's and are soon forced to land in a barren world. There they encounter some savages and of course, because remember our captain who hates the machines, their computer lord, who is planning the conquest of whole universe. Muaha ha haa. And that's pretty much it.
So yeah. Watch it if you like bad movies, which are funny in totally all the wrong reasons. But while watching, keep this in mind: sex is to be had with a help of huge glass ball, and requires no touching (hey, kinda like in Demolition Man", and if you get infected by malicious artificial intelligence you'r face looks like you have leprosy and your fangs will grow into vampiric proportions. Go figure.
Verdict: 1 out of 10. For all the reason given above. There really is very little in it actually resembling a movie.
Camp score: 7 out of 10. I mean really, I was laughing even tough I watched this film alone. And usually camp films require some amount of assistance in a form of huge crowd of people. The score is lowered only because of horrendous sound effects and soundtrack.
I couldn't help but to watch, how this ceremony of incompetence unfolded before my very eyes. Like a mouse, who knows he's going to his doom, I couldn't help but to watch it through, unable to witch it off. There was this ticking in the back of my head, that whimpered: It can't be that bad all the time. Surely there must be something good about it. But there wasn't. The acting got poorer and poorer by the minute, while the script kept flowing from sheer silly to borderline mental.
A word about the plot: A strange signal from space is received and a stubborn, machine hating captain Hamilton (John Richardson) is sent to investigate. Sure enough, he and his crew encounter some UFO's and are soon forced to land in a barren world. There they encounter some savages and of course, because remember our captain who hates the machines, their computer lord, who is planning the conquest of whole universe. Muaha ha haa. And that's pretty much it.
So yeah. Watch it if you like bad movies, which are funny in totally all the wrong reasons. But while watching, keep this in mind: sex is to be had with a help of huge glass ball, and requires no touching (hey, kinda like in Demolition Man", and if you get infected by malicious artificial intelligence you'r face looks like you have leprosy and your fangs will grow into vampiric proportions. Go figure.
Verdict: 1 out of 10. For all the reason given above. There really is very little in it actually resembling a movie.
Camp score: 7 out of 10. I mean really, I was laughing even tough I watched this film alone. And usually camp films require some amount of assistance in a form of huge crowd of people. The score is lowered only because of horrendous sound effects and soundtrack.
Keep aspirin handy. The music, sound effects, characters moaning and various clicks and clacks will give you a migraine.
mark.waltz10 July 2017
Warning: Spoilers
Only the most determined and devoted of science fiction fans will make it all the way through this without reaching for an extra strength Tylenol. You might also get a headache by the red and tan outfits that the astronauts wear in this, with caps to match. The leaders of the mission look like they raided Aquaman's closet and headed to the other direction to avoid discovery. It's in the hands of hot tempered captain John Richardson to figure out what's causing some sort of interference all over earth, and that supposedly has something to do with huge meteor showers flying through space. Tedious from start to finish, this lays there like one of Mars' moons, simply spouting off scientific sounding terms to sound intelligent. What it ends up as is pretentious and phony, really offering no surprises and making absolutely no sense. Unless this was released with the financial assistance of a pain reliever firm, it makes no sense as to how this escaped a movie studio editing booth.
99.44% bad
planktonrules4 June 2007
Warning: Spoilers
Aside from a nifty little twist in the plot at the end, this was a horrid little Italian sci-fi movie that just isn't worth your time--it's that bad. Unfortunately, it does not reach the badness of an Ed Wood, Jr. film, so it's not so bad and amateurish that it's good for a laugh---it's just BAD!
The film is about a spaceship that is redirected to investigate some weird transmissions. On the way, the ship is attacked by robotic ships and it limps its way to a nearby planet--dominated by an evil robot that looks like a giant slot machine. This horrible robot and the computer that controls it have ravaged this planet and the surviving locals are unable to do anything but hide in caves and hope to survive. Well, the Earthlings are apparently made of finer stuff and one of them tosses a rock at the robot--thus destroying it AND causing a chain reaction that destroys the planet!! Well, this isn't all of it, as the evil computer isn't quite through with this crew, but I don't want to say more lest I spoil the great suspense!
So let's talk script. It's just dull and slow until the end. And as for the rest of the film, the costumes are crappy and cheap, the acting wooden (at best) and the special effects were bad for a 50s sci-fi film--let alone one from 1977. This really is a wretched film all around and not worth even a peek. Avoid it at all costs.
The film is about a spaceship that is redirected to investigate some weird transmissions. On the way, the ship is attacked by robotic ships and it limps its way to a nearby planet--dominated by an evil robot that looks like a giant slot machine. This horrible robot and the computer that controls it have ravaged this planet and the surviving locals are unable to do anything but hide in caves and hope to survive. Well, the Earthlings are apparently made of finer stuff and one of them tosses a rock at the robot--thus destroying it AND causing a chain reaction that destroys the planet!! Well, this isn't all of it, as the evil computer isn't quite through with this crew, but I don't want to say more lest I spoil the great suspense!
So let's talk script. It's just dull and slow until the end. And as for the rest of the film, the costumes are crappy and cheap, the acting wooden (at best) and the special effects were bad for a 50s sci-fi film--let alone one from 1977. This really is a wretched film all around and not worth even a peek. Avoid it at all costs.
"I belong tae Glasgae"
Bezenby17 October 2018
In 1977, Alfonso Breschia grabbed a video camera, some torches, some of his mates, and a moog and went to his garage to make a film of the future where multi-cultural crews battle space threats, technologically advanced robots are smart-arses, and Glaswegian astronauts turn into slime drooling monsters!
All of Alfonso Breschia's space films have a terrible reputation, and that's because they are terrible low budget affairs full of people spouting scientific bollocks while ear piercing noises and flashing images assault the senses. This one however actually manages to transcend all this to be entertaining and awful at the same time. Let's get to the plot and explain.
For starts, John Richardson is a hot-headed space captain who hates the fact that everyone relies on a computer called the Wiz to do the thinking for them. In fact, he's not a fan of that simulated sex machine Malisa Longo uses either. He'd rather let his balls and his brain do the thinking, so when Earth receives a signal from outer space, either his brains or his balls act quickly and attack two aggressive ships that fly towards his ship. This turns out to be a good idea.
On this mysterious planet, the crew find an archway that teleports them...somewhere else where they are attacked by a violent indestructible robot who has been murdering the silver-coated alien inhabitants. We find out that there's this huge arrogant computer that ended up in control of everything, likes killing things for fun, and wants to take over Earth. That sounds like a job for robot hating John!
In this crazy world were people have to awkwardly wave their hands behind their heads to close doors instead of using door handles, alarms flash like 90's raves and scream insanely, and astronauts sing 'I belong to Glasgow', how does one distinguish who is human and who has been taken over by an alien computer? Strangely, this film turns into a horror at the last twenty minutes, which is probably why I rate this one over Breschia's other sci-fi trash crap.
Weirdly, this film uses the 'blast the alien out of the airlock' bit before Alien! You're a trailblazer, Breschia!
All of Alfonso Breschia's space films have a terrible reputation, and that's because they are terrible low budget affairs full of people spouting scientific bollocks while ear piercing noises and flashing images assault the senses. This one however actually manages to transcend all this to be entertaining and awful at the same time. Let's get to the plot and explain.
For starts, John Richardson is a hot-headed space captain who hates the fact that everyone relies on a computer called the Wiz to do the thinking for them. In fact, he's not a fan of that simulated sex machine Malisa Longo uses either. He'd rather let his balls and his brain do the thinking, so when Earth receives a signal from outer space, either his brains or his balls act quickly and attack two aggressive ships that fly towards his ship. This turns out to be a good idea.
On this mysterious planet, the crew find an archway that teleports them...somewhere else where they are attacked by a violent indestructible robot who has been murdering the silver-coated alien inhabitants. We find out that there's this huge arrogant computer that ended up in control of everything, likes killing things for fun, and wants to take over Earth. That sounds like a job for robot hating John!
In this crazy world were people have to awkwardly wave their hands behind their heads to close doors instead of using door handles, alarms flash like 90's raves and scream insanely, and astronauts sing 'I belong to Glasgow', how does one distinguish who is human and who has been taken over by an alien computer? Strangely, this film turns into a horror at the last twenty minutes, which is probably why I rate this one over Breschia's other sci-fi trash crap.
Weirdly, this film uses the 'blast the alien out of the airlock' bit before Alien! You're a trailblazer, Breschia!
Looks Much Older Than Star Wars
Rainey-Dawn18 January 2017
I thinks someone was stuck in the late 1950s though the 1960s when they made this one. It's barely watch able. In 1977 Star Wars came out and so did this film... unbelievable! It looks and feels so much older than Star Wars. It's... cheap, cheesy and just barely watchable (and I say barely watchable being very generous with the film).
They look way to "spaced out" - like some 1950s sci-fi costumes. I really think more like the late 1930s costume wise. Special effects maybe similar to the 1950s or 1960s.
I could be wrong, but I *think* the film might be geared for little kids much more so than for all age groups.
2/10
They look way to "spaced out" - like some 1950s sci-fi costumes. I really think more like the late 1930s costume wise. Special effects maybe similar to the 1950s or 1960s.
I could be wrong, but I *think* the film might be geared for little kids much more so than for all age groups.
2/10
THE worst sci-fi film I've ever seen!
soulexpress22 August 2017
Warning: Spoilers
Has a good science fiction film ever come out of Italy? Plenty of bad ones have, and this one might be the worst of the lot. This "2001" wannabe has a disjointed script, amateurish acting, inane-looking sets, crappy costumes with idiotic red helmets, supercomputers made of cardboard with flashing lights and robotic voices, and a dubbing job that makes the Gamera films sound professional.
The plot: When the Earth receives a mysterious transmission from beyond its solar system, Captain Alex Hamilton and his starship crew investigate. After much tedium, the ship lands on the planet that sent the signal. It has been taken over by a supercomputer that has killed much of the planet's population and frightened the survivors into living underground. The computer sent the transmission because it needed help replacing its burnt-out circuits, and the natives weren't smart enough for the job. Hamilton destroys the supercomputer (by throwing a rock at it!), but in the process causes a chain reaction that blows up the entire planet. Oops!
Item: in the space scenes, the stars bear an uncanny resemblance to light bulbs.
Item: in several scenes, the background is solid black. Was a bluescreen beyond the budget, or did the director simply not give a damn?
Item: the aliens suggest a cross between Yoda and Hare Krishnas, dipped in Rustoleum.
Item: in this futuristic world, people have sex fully clothed and with no physical contact, instead laying their hands on a big ball that sits between them. (Hey, don't ask me!)
Item: Captain Hamilton takes one of the alien beings, Etor, aboard the ship (for no apparent reason). Once they're in space, Etor watches the destruction of both his planet and species. His reaction? Well, he doesn't actually have one. For all the emotion on his face, Etor might as well have been watching "The MacNeil/Lehrer Report."
Item: The film "climaxes" with a crew member, who the supercomputer has somehow possessed, attempting to sabotage the ship. His face has sprouted ugly red abscesses, he appears to have grown fangs, he foams at the mouth, and his nose runs copiously. As for how a computer can possess a man . You can't possibly think this film would provide an explanation!
Finally, my two favorites lines of dialogue:
1) "We disappeared from one place and appeared in another!"
2) "Those strange signals are so baffling."
The plot: When the Earth receives a mysterious transmission from beyond its solar system, Captain Alex Hamilton and his starship crew investigate. After much tedium, the ship lands on the planet that sent the signal. It has been taken over by a supercomputer that has killed much of the planet's population and frightened the survivors into living underground. The computer sent the transmission because it needed help replacing its burnt-out circuits, and the natives weren't smart enough for the job. Hamilton destroys the supercomputer (by throwing a rock at it!), but in the process causes a chain reaction that blows up the entire planet. Oops!
Item: in the space scenes, the stars bear an uncanny resemblance to light bulbs.
Item: in several scenes, the background is solid black. Was a bluescreen beyond the budget, or did the director simply not give a damn?
Item: the aliens suggest a cross between Yoda and Hare Krishnas, dipped in Rustoleum.
Item: in this futuristic world, people have sex fully clothed and with no physical contact, instead laying their hands on a big ball that sits between them. (Hey, don't ask me!)
Item: Captain Hamilton takes one of the alien beings, Etor, aboard the ship (for no apparent reason). Once they're in space, Etor watches the destruction of both his planet and species. His reaction? Well, he doesn't actually have one. For all the emotion on his face, Etor might as well have been watching "The MacNeil/Lehrer Report."
Item: The film "climaxes" with a crew member, who the supercomputer has somehow possessed, attempting to sabotage the ship. His face has sprouted ugly red abscesses, he appears to have grown fangs, he foams at the mouth, and his nose runs copiously. As for how a computer can possess a man . You can't possibly think this film would provide an explanation!
Finally, my two favorites lines of dialogue:
1) "We disappeared from one place and appeared in another!"
2) "Those strange signals are so baffling."
Unbelievable...so bad...there are no words...
jvaldeztoo15 July 2008
I just finished watching this...and I will be honest...I'd seen a few minutes of it browsing a Digiview DVD compilation...I truly knew from just that few minutes this was probably a stinker, but I watched it because the actresses had tight uniforms. Yes, I know...that's terrible...but I couldn't help myself. Truly, the story was a wash out and watching the girls really was the motivation. I will say that actor, John Richardson was not as bad as everyone else. Too bad he didn't get a film role that he could shine. The ending of the movie is reminiscent of a twilight zone twist, which was a nice touch for those who suffer through it. Directing is almost as good as a high school film production, and a blind grandmother could have done much better cinematography. I read here that a reviewer wrote the special effects were as cruddy as 1950's sci-fi, and I say shame on you for saying that...they not nearly as good as Flash Gordon or War of the Worlds. On the other hand, they are as good as that stuff I just left in the toilet. But seriously, I can't even say that you have to see it to believe it, because in all fairness, you wouldn't believe it. Sadly, this film has been preserved electronically for all to see.
Extremely entertaining!
guygilray31 August 2010
This is one of the only movies I can watch over and over and always enjoy. I usually put it on just as I'm going to bed and let it lead me off to dreamy land . . . It's true that many people don't like this movie, or just consider it a poor Italian rip-off of Star Wars or Space 1999, or something else, but for some odd reason that I haven't been able to figure out, it's extremely compelling and really holds my attention. Yes, the sets are cheap, the costumes are pretty silly, and the special effects look extremely fake, but even so, some rare quality seeps through all the external cheesiness and something sticks with you! There are some unique ideas expressed in this film. There is also technology not seen in other movies. For example, the view screen on the bridge of the spaceship MK31 often shows a view of the MK31 itself as it files through space, as though there is some type of remote camera flying behind the ship, or beside it, for the sole purpose of the crew being able to view their own ship in flight. How this is achieved, I don't know. It's obviously a technology far ahead of what we have. It's not the kind of detail you notice right away, but once you do, it's fascinating! There's a lot of food for thought here. I thought about this movie for days after I first saw it and then began to watch it regularly. After a while, all other movies looked weird in comparison. One of the most interesting movies I've ever seen.
An Intriguing Inter-Planetary Pastiche!
GaryPeterson6712 March 2008
Warning: Spoilers
Am I the only person who enjoyed COSMOS: WAR OF THE PLANETS? I mean, it's not STARCRASH, but it made for an enjoyable 90 minutes or so.
The film was clearly inspired by SPACE: 1999, from the costumes to the ship's layout and even the story. How many SPACE: 1999 episodes were there where somebody goes crazy and stalks through Moonbase Alpha, forcing open doors and throttling crewmembers who don't have sense to run? The 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY swipes were already, mentioned, but how about the homage to Woody Allen's 1973 sci-fi spoof SLEEPER (or, to paraphrase Tony Roberts in STARDUST MEMORIES, "they just outright ripped it off")? Remember the Orgasmatron where you can satisfy all your baser needs fully clothed with the help of a computer?
COLOSSUS: THE FORBIN PROJECT was a pretty good science fiction movie from 1970 starring Eric Braedon that dealt with the topic addressed in COSMOS: computers becoming sentient and running amok. STAR TREK tackled the topic a few years earlier in "The Ultimate Computer" episode with William "Blacula" Marshall and his M-5 computer which, like WIZ in this movie, was designed to make man's reasoning and initiative obsolete. COSMOS' Captain Hamilton shares many similarities with Captain James T. Kirk, among them a distrust of machines and a power of seduction over beautiful but icy women. (One more TREK reference: that ancient two-pillared structure sure reminded me of the "time doughnut" from "City on the Edge of Forever").
One character that really intrigued me and he was gone too soon was Ytor. When he came on board the bridge in uniform I sat up, thinking things were getting even more interesting. But after some really wild kung fu fighting he was gone.
Yes, the movie is confusing. I was paying very close attention and still was left confused at points, but it really didn't matter. This was a very episodic movie; in fact I wondered if this wasn't several episodes of an Italian sci-fi series spliced together.
It's worth watching, one of those movies where the sum of its parts exceed the whole. The lampooning of the media's distorting and sensationalizing what the military is trying to cover up was fantastic and timely.
I saw COSMOS as one of the films in Treeline's 50 SciFi Classics box set and while the print is reasonably clear and colorful the framing is way off. This was obviously a widescreen picture and here it is presented full-frame but with the top and bottoms of people's faces sometimes chopped off as if the image was enlarged and just the center of the frame shot (no pan and scan).
One word on the possibly confusing ending (hey, why should it be different from the rest of the movie?). I believe only Hamilton is hearing the ominous voice of the computer. Everyone else is celebrating Crewman Peter's becoming a Dad and their soon arrival back on Earth. But Hamilton hears in the ship's computer the coming of the technophilia that ravaged Ytor's planet. He experiences an epiphany that Earth is following closely in the footsteps of that doomed planet. It's a strong thought-provoking ending.
The film was clearly inspired by SPACE: 1999, from the costumes to the ship's layout and even the story. How many SPACE: 1999 episodes were there where somebody goes crazy and stalks through Moonbase Alpha, forcing open doors and throttling crewmembers who don't have sense to run? The 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY swipes were already, mentioned, but how about the homage to Woody Allen's 1973 sci-fi spoof SLEEPER (or, to paraphrase Tony Roberts in STARDUST MEMORIES, "they just outright ripped it off")? Remember the Orgasmatron where you can satisfy all your baser needs fully clothed with the help of a computer?
COLOSSUS: THE FORBIN PROJECT was a pretty good science fiction movie from 1970 starring Eric Braedon that dealt with the topic addressed in COSMOS: computers becoming sentient and running amok. STAR TREK tackled the topic a few years earlier in "The Ultimate Computer" episode with William "Blacula" Marshall and his M-5 computer which, like WIZ in this movie, was designed to make man's reasoning and initiative obsolete. COSMOS' Captain Hamilton shares many similarities with Captain James T. Kirk, among them a distrust of machines and a power of seduction over beautiful but icy women. (One more TREK reference: that ancient two-pillared structure sure reminded me of the "time doughnut" from "City on the Edge of Forever").
One character that really intrigued me and he was gone too soon was Ytor. When he came on board the bridge in uniform I sat up, thinking things were getting even more interesting. But after some really wild kung fu fighting he was gone.
Yes, the movie is confusing. I was paying very close attention and still was left confused at points, but it really didn't matter. This was a very episodic movie; in fact I wondered if this wasn't several episodes of an Italian sci-fi series spliced together.
It's worth watching, one of those movies where the sum of its parts exceed the whole. The lampooning of the media's distorting and sensationalizing what the military is trying to cover up was fantastic and timely.
I saw COSMOS as one of the films in Treeline's 50 SciFi Classics box set and while the print is reasonably clear and colorful the framing is way off. This was obviously a widescreen picture and here it is presented full-frame but with the top and bottoms of people's faces sometimes chopped off as if the image was enlarged and just the center of the frame shot (no pan and scan).
One word on the possibly confusing ending (hey, why should it be different from the rest of the movie?). I believe only Hamilton is hearing the ominous voice of the computer. Everyone else is celebrating Crewman Peter's becoming a Dad and their soon arrival back on Earth. But Hamilton hears in the ship's computer the coming of the technophilia that ravaged Ytor's planet. He experiences an epiphany that Earth is following closely in the footsteps of that doomed planet. It's a strong thought-provoking ending.
Can't believe MST3K didn't riff this one?!
hetoreyn25 March 2015
Yup .. this piece of cinematic doodie, is terrible. Why, Oh why, do I have soft spot for crap movies .. we'll never know. At least I'm not the only one. Apparently this is a kind of follow on from "Planet of the Vampires" .. which although low budget, was quite an entertaining and atmospheric film. It's definitely NOT a Star Wars rip off as it has nothing to do with that.
It starts badly, teeters off in the middle, and the less said about the end the better. Best thing to do if you want to see this is with it on youtube .. there's a few places that have it. I certainly wouldn't buy it unless it's on one of those sci-fi movie box sets that contains 100 awful movies.
I won't dwell on the 'story' .. but needless to say it's badly made. Awful script ... if awful even comes close to describing it. One can't help but blame the director for a lot of the dumb performances because .. well .. it's his fault! Editing is okay, considering the crappy material they had to work with.
But hands down the biggest offence in this film is the music score. Ouch!! .. like being rogered with a prize winning cactus. John Barry proved you could have awesome music in a goody film (Starcrash 1978), so there's no excuse to phone in the score like they did here.
Watch it if you dare, or if you're a sucker for bad movie .. like me! This movie could have been saved if the boys and bots at MST3K had riffed it, sadly it wasn't awful enough for them :P
Would be a good film for a crap-fest!
It starts badly, teeters off in the middle, and the less said about the end the better. Best thing to do if you want to see this is with it on youtube .. there's a few places that have it. I certainly wouldn't buy it unless it's on one of those sci-fi movie box sets that contains 100 awful movies.
I won't dwell on the 'story' .. but needless to say it's badly made. Awful script ... if awful even comes close to describing it. One can't help but blame the director for a lot of the dumb performances because .. well .. it's his fault! Editing is okay, considering the crappy material they had to work with.
But hands down the biggest offence in this film is the music score. Ouch!! .. like being rogered with a prize winning cactus. John Barry proved you could have awesome music in a goody film (Starcrash 1978), so there's no excuse to phone in the score like they did here.
Watch it if you dare, or if you're a sucker for bad movie .. like me! This movie could have been saved if the boys and bots at MST3K had riffed it, sadly it wasn't awful enough for them :P
Would be a good film for a crap-fest!
"What The Hell?! What Does It Mean?!"...
azathothpwiggins15 June 2021
WAR OF THE PLANETS begins with flashing, beeping, and a toy spaceship floating around. The ship's crew are wearing red swim caps, perhaps to keep space mold from growing between their ears. The ship's computer, known as WIZ, drones on in monotone fashion, much like an industrial fan.
Astronauts leap from ship to ship, probably trying to escape this movie's pull of death. Actions take place for no discernable reason. A man screams as though something is happening. Nope. WIZ blathers on.
Meanwhile, on Earth, some sort of crisis has developed. Mysterious signals, sounding like chipmunks caught in a storm drain are transmitted to the ship. WIZ gives orders. We discover that the ship has an onboard orgasmatron. Even this is boring.
Lasers flash! Sound effects whoop and bloop! Spaceships spin! WIZ yammers on! My God, this is the Marianas Trench of boredom! Crushing tedium destroying our minds! Pray for us all!
This movie is cinematic arthritis, causing agony with no hope of relief! We know that somewhere, someone said, "Oh yeah, I saw STAR WARS. I can make a movie just like that!". This is the film that George Lucas could have made, had his brain been turned into tuna salad.
This, my friends, is sub-sludge without mercy...
Astronauts leap from ship to ship, probably trying to escape this movie's pull of death. Actions take place for no discernable reason. A man screams as though something is happening. Nope. WIZ blathers on.
Meanwhile, on Earth, some sort of crisis has developed. Mysterious signals, sounding like chipmunks caught in a storm drain are transmitted to the ship. WIZ gives orders. We discover that the ship has an onboard orgasmatron. Even this is boring.
Lasers flash! Sound effects whoop and bloop! Spaceships spin! WIZ yammers on! My God, this is the Marianas Trench of boredom! Crushing tedium destroying our minds! Pray for us all!
This movie is cinematic arthritis, causing agony with no hope of relief! We know that somewhere, someone said, "Oh yeah, I saw STAR WARS. I can make a movie just like that!". This is the film that George Lucas could have made, had his brain been turned into tuna salad.
This, my friends, is sub-sludge without mercy...
Star Drek
wes-connors7 April 2010
Captain Alex Hamilton aka "Mike Leighton (John Richardson) and his team of astronauts land on an alien world and agree to help its population battle a cyber entity that has taken control of the planet," according to the DVD sleeve. Re-titled "Cosmos: War of the Planets" for English language listeners, this wretched film features the standard science fiction storyline involving a futuristic society being taken over by the machines it created. Those involved must have been asking, "What button do I have to push to get me out of this lousy picture?"
* Anno zero, guerra nello spazio (1977) Alfonso Brescia ~ John Richardson, Yanti Somer, Vassili Karis, Katia Christine
* Anno zero, guerra nello spazio (1977) Alfonso Brescia ~ John Richardson, Yanti Somer, Vassili Karis, Katia Christine
Terrible waste of film
pikappbh6 February 2011
Warning: Spoilers
Truly bad news. The properties, sets, acting, and effects are all consistently sub-standard. This could be the top of the bottom I suppose all those employed in the movie industry have to work, but, I can't imagine anyone involved in the making of this picture will be proudly telling the grandkids about making this clinker. I LOVE science fiction even the campy stuff. I can excuse the stuff that uses contemporary props in futuristic settings 64 years in the future in 2924,ala "Beyond The Time Barrier" from 1960 I remember seeing it when I was 10, great futuristic sets and then M-2 carbines??!! Really? I can honestly say, don't waste your time.
War?? What War??
thestarkfist3 January 2015
Warning: Spoilers
First off, what war? Filming a war costs big bucks, (much like the real thing!). This mess barely had enough money to cover the paper mache for the sets. They shouldn't promise a war in the title if they couldn't deliver it. Rather the film should have been titled "Minor Disagreement Of The Planets" or "Trivial Skirmish Of The Planets". A war just ain't happening with this pile of film doo.
And doo doo it truly is. It struck me as I was watching this thing that bad science fiction films seem to have an extra layer of crap slathered over them that one just doesn't experience in your run-of- the-mill bad biker flick. Maybe it's because the folks behind it are often bound and determined to make their entertainment "profound". This piece of tripe can certainly plead Mea Culpa to that, although it misses its mark by a thousand light years at least.
To get to the heart of the matter, this movie displays incompetence in every frame. The writing, acting, directing, editing, scoring, etc. areall absolutely abysmal. To be sure it wears its influences on its sleeve like a badge of honor. As others have noted, the "2001", "Space 1999" and "Star Trek" references abound, but are all introduced to little affect. The editing jumps from one scene to another with little narrative sense, making the story almost impossible to follow. So many elements are introduced only to be just left hanging by the script that it is difficult to distinguish a plot point from yet another pointless scene. With confusion served up in super sized proportions a coherent sound track might have at least helped us to know exactly how the director intended us to respond to what we're being shown. Unfortunately the score is as inept as the rest of the movie. It jumps from classical elements (a nod to Kuberick, I think) to synthesized bleeps and squawks with no apparent relation to what is being shown on the screen. At one point we are treated to an exterior shot of the space ship and a pop song about being in space starts up only to be mercifully cut short after only a few seconds by the editor.
Thanks to Mystery Science Theater 3000 the title of worst movie has been taken from "Plan 9 From Outer Space" and bestowed upon "Manos, the Hands of Fate". But at least Manos actually manages to tell a comprehensible story, albeit not very well. This hairball of a movie can't even manage that. They must have changed the script every day on this thing. That is the only explanation I can come up with for it being so confused, garbled and nonsensical. See it if you must but don't expect anything like real entertainment.
And doo doo it truly is. It struck me as I was watching this thing that bad science fiction films seem to have an extra layer of crap slathered over them that one just doesn't experience in your run-of- the-mill bad biker flick. Maybe it's because the folks behind it are often bound and determined to make their entertainment "profound". This piece of tripe can certainly plead Mea Culpa to that, although it misses its mark by a thousand light years at least.
To get to the heart of the matter, this movie displays incompetence in every frame. The writing, acting, directing, editing, scoring, etc. areall absolutely abysmal. To be sure it wears its influences on its sleeve like a badge of honor. As others have noted, the "2001", "Space 1999" and "Star Trek" references abound, but are all introduced to little affect. The editing jumps from one scene to another with little narrative sense, making the story almost impossible to follow. So many elements are introduced only to be just left hanging by the script that it is difficult to distinguish a plot point from yet another pointless scene. With confusion served up in super sized proportions a coherent sound track might have at least helped us to know exactly how the director intended us to respond to what we're being shown. Unfortunately the score is as inept as the rest of the movie. It jumps from classical elements (a nod to Kuberick, I think) to synthesized bleeps and squawks with no apparent relation to what is being shown on the screen. At one point we are treated to an exterior shot of the space ship and a pop song about being in space starts up only to be mercifully cut short after only a few seconds by the editor.
Thanks to Mystery Science Theater 3000 the title of worst movie has been taken from "Plan 9 From Outer Space" and bestowed upon "Manos, the Hands of Fate". But at least Manos actually manages to tell a comprehensible story, albeit not very well. This hairball of a movie can't even manage that. They must have changed the script every day on this thing. That is the only explanation I can come up with for it being so confused, garbled and nonsensical. See it if you must but don't expect anything like real entertainment.
"Star Wars", it isn't
robertguttman30 September 2017
Despite the fact that they were produced during the same year , "War of the Planets" had nothing whatever in common with "Star Wars". While the former was definitely an "A-Picture", "War of the Planets" is strictly "Grade-Z". The story is nearly incomprehensible, the writing terrible, the acting wooden and the production values about what one would expect in a high-school play. Some cheesy science-fiction films can be so bad that they are entertaining. however, this example of the genre is simply...bad. About all this film accomplishes is to make the viewer appreciate just how good things like "Star Wars", "Star Trek" and "2001: A Space Odyssey" actually were.
The Machines May Rule Us Some Day
bkoganbing12 December 2011
Warning: Spoilers
War Of The Planets is an Italian science fiction production with cheesy special effects and British actor John Richardson as the captain of a future spaceship much like the Enterprise. When earth starts getting some strange signals, Richardson and the crew go outside our solar system and find a rogue planet with humanoid slaves working for a super colossal computer that's now running everything.
The machine feeds on psychic energy and the humanoids it has as slaves are running out. That's why it wants to colonize earth and enslave its population.
The film tries for special effects like those in 2001, but misses the mark in light years and in the dollars Stanley Kubrick had available. I wouldn't worry too much if you miss this one, earth survived and so will you.
The machine feeds on psychic energy and the humanoids it has as slaves are running out. That's why it wants to colonize earth and enslave its population.
The film tries for special effects like those in 2001, but misses the mark in light years and in the dollars Stanley Kubrick had available. I wouldn't worry too much if you miss this one, earth survived and so will you.
Bad in every respect
allen-4717715 June 2019
Cheesy isn't a sufficient description. Bad dialogue, poor plot, awkward acting, and the special effects are anything but special. HonestlyI think I could concoct better effects in my carport with an iPhone.
As one who likes cheesy movies, the best thing I can say about this one is you won't mind sleeping through it.
As one who likes cheesy movies, the best thing I can say about this one is you won't mind sleeping through it.
sub-par, laughable, copied muzak tripe fest
r-c-s31 August 2007
Warning: Spoilers
It mostly re-uses sets, ideas (the stupid toy robot computer; the caves on the planet; attacking alien space ships etc ) and characters from another C-tier, low budget movie (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0075881/usercomments?start=10 ). The same hippie muzak song from the other movie is recycled (that's waste after all ) here as well, albeit with different words ("in the space we have brothers" ). The music best epitomizes this laughable movie: at times sounds like "Spartacus versus Gamera" or "Hercules against the queers" or whatever C-tier "colossal" they were milling in Italy in the 1960s; most of the time, though, like the worst muzak from 1970s answering machines or video games. It "borrows" from other movies as well: mysterious space signals sent to earth from an unknown planet (2001-odyssey anyone? ) lure a spaceship to a planet, where they find inhabitants having regressed to cavemen, hiding in terror from mysterious overpowering machines their race had once built to help man live comfortably...but that was before the "explosion" (in the cavemen's opinion ); or before an alien invasion (in the toy robot computer's opinion ). As in "planet of the apes", these survivors don't talk but use brain waves to communicate. In the end a crew member turns into a raging, murderous psychopath/space monster... There is the angle of the grudge the bada$$ captain holds against computers and their predictive ability. Acting is negligible to laughable. It scores 3/10 versus 2/10 of the other movie because here things are a bit more credible ( at least no funky 1970s jeeps around in supposed year 2300... ). SFX are laughable to negligible. To watch only once.
The Crimes of this Wonderful Movie...
diesixdie2 May 2007
Warning: Spoilers
...are too numerous to mention. I was tempted to add an entry into IMDb's goofs section, to that effect. There is visible duct tape holding sets together, numerous space things made of plywood, spray painted aliens. The movie builds the aliens up as mildly compassionate characters, then the human heroes laugh when they die. The film is grainy, the camera shakes, and I swear you can see wires on not just the cheesy spaceships, but also holding up the actors, the plot, the costumes...
One of my favorite movies. Truly horrible.
SPOILER!!! SPOILER!!! SPOILER!!!: It doesn't really matter. Your brain will be so traumatized by the time you make it to the end of this lovable, but toxic fiasco that you won't notice the ending, unless somebody tells you about it. Here it comes: They destroy the evil computer by lethargically throwing a small rock at it. Then the alien dies and everybody has a good laugh. The end.
One of my favorite movies. Truly horrible.
SPOILER!!! SPOILER!!! SPOILER!!!: It doesn't really matter. Your brain will be so traumatized by the time you make it to the end of this lovable, but toxic fiasco that you won't notice the ending, unless somebody tells you about it. Here it comes: They destroy the evil computer by lethargically throwing a small rock at it. Then the alien dies and everybody has a good laugh. The end.
A very low budget, some interesting ideas
dddvvv27 January 2005
I watched this movie broadcast by an Italian local channel some days ago... and enjoyed it a lot! This is a clear example of a b-movie of the seventies with a lot of defects: bad special effects, wooden actors, a weird montage in which some scenes are cut while in the middle of a dialog or an action... But it retains a special fascination if you are capable of watching it from an historical perspective. And some ideas are definitely good, not to say anticipatory: have you ever heard the story of a planet in which machines once built by mankind revolt against their owners and enslave them by stealing their vital energy? It sounds quite like The Matrix, isn't it? Well, don't expect other resemblances. Recommended only to the true science-fiction movies fanatics!
Very nearly so-bad-it's-good
Leofwine_draca14 May 2016
Warning: Spoilers
STAR WARS has a lot to answer for. When George Lucas' film first came out, it kick-started the sci-fi genre after years of po-faced shenanigans in the wake of 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY; it revitalised the serial-adventure genre, leading to a plethora of 1980s films like INDIANA JONES; and it 'inspired' a ton of rip-offs around the globe. No country ripped it off more than Italy, and director Alfonso Brescia is best known today for his series of insanely awful attempts at 'space operas', done with no budget, no intelligence, no reason. COSMOS: WAR OF THE PLANETS is one of his worst, an utterly cheesy, often indescribable attempt at an adventure flick that makes no sense whatsoever. At the same time, watched in the right mood, it's a hilarious movie, often providing a ton of so-bad-it's-good entertainment along the way. It's no Turkish STAR WARS, but it comes close at times.
Where to start? Our "heroes" (including a token black guy who bites it) wear tight-fitting uniforms (great on the girls, not so great on the guys) and even tighter-fitting red helmets that make them look ridiculous. Later on, there's an alien guy who looks like a cross between Yoda and a Hari Krishna, and an absolutely amusing fight between him and an ugly, skin-peeling vampire guy (possessed by a computer?) that seems to come out of a horror film rather than a cheesy sci-fi flick. But it's the special effects that make this movie so very BAD: space scenes where stars are lightbulbs; computers made of cardboard; a killer robot as bad as the ones in Turkish flicks, resembling a big version of those walking toys, which is destroyed by somebody chucking a stone at it; green-painted alien beings; the worst model spaceship since, well, ever and plenty more besides.
Square-jawed actor John Richardson carved a career out of these movies and he's as wooden as they come. The rest of the cast aren't much better. Yanti Somer appeared in even more, probably because she looks so good in her tight-fitting costumes. But if awful acting, stilted dubbed dialogue, appalling direction and the worst SFX seen in a film are your cup of tea, then by all means give COSMOS: WAR OF THE PLANETS a go!
Where to start? Our "heroes" (including a token black guy who bites it) wear tight-fitting uniforms (great on the girls, not so great on the guys) and even tighter-fitting red helmets that make them look ridiculous. Later on, there's an alien guy who looks like a cross between Yoda and a Hari Krishna, and an absolutely amusing fight between him and an ugly, skin-peeling vampire guy (possessed by a computer?) that seems to come out of a horror film rather than a cheesy sci-fi flick. But it's the special effects that make this movie so very BAD: space scenes where stars are lightbulbs; computers made of cardboard; a killer robot as bad as the ones in Turkish flicks, resembling a big version of those walking toys, which is destroyed by somebody chucking a stone at it; green-painted alien beings; the worst model spaceship since, well, ever and plenty more besides.
Square-jawed actor John Richardson carved a career out of these movies and he's as wooden as they come. The rest of the cast aren't much better. Yanti Somer appeared in even more, probably because she looks so good in her tight-fitting costumes. But if awful acting, stilted dubbed dialogue, appalling direction and the worst SFX seen in a film are your cup of tea, then by all means give COSMOS: WAR OF THE PLANETS a go!
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