Tales of the Third Dimension (1984) Poster

User Reviews

Review this title
5 Reviews
Sort by:
Filter by Rating:
6/10
Wacky Little Film
Easy watching simple film Three tales of "horror" introduced by a ghoul in a graveyard . The first two stories are weak but the third makes up for it. First off there is a story about two vampires who want to adopt a child , The second is about grave robbers who befriend the grave digger with plans to steal from the dead bodies in his cemetery , And the third is a christmas based story about two children who go to stay with there grandma. The strange thing is just as the second story finishes the title screen for the film comes up?? This film is different with some great scenes Entertaining but in a bad way Great over the top acting . The vultures in the graveyard are bizzarre but they fit perfectly into this movie This movie was made for 3D and every now and then things poke out the screen Worth a watch but not really a horror film In fact i wouldnt know what to call it
1 out of 1 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
6/10
Rod Serling's skeleton gives us three decent horror tales.
b_kite29 June 2018
Warning: Spoilers
A cheaply looking skeleton which sounds a lot like Rod Serling rises from the grave to give the audience three horror tales. meanwhile five buzzards dressed like Laurel & Hardy and the Three Stooges crack jokes.

The three tales, the first one "Young Blood" is about a married pair of vampires who adopt a child and are horrified to discover that it is another kind of monster all together. Its goofy and has some pretty amazingly awful special effects towards the end. In "The Guardians," a pair of avaricious grave robbers make a terrible mistake when they visit the St. Francis Abbey cemetery to do a little pillaging. The most serious of the tales, has good build up, but, the final is sadly rushed. The final tale, "Visions of Sugar-Plum" is set at Christmas time and at the home of an outwardly loving grandmother who runs out of her meds and turns into a cold-blooded killer. The most remembered segment among fans, its goofy and completely nuts trust me. This flick was helmed by Earl Ownsby a man who from 1974-1987 produced 18 low budget films some of which in 3D, shooting them usually in Shelby, North Carolina, from sets he made himself.
1 out of 1 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
4/10
What a goofy mess!
BandSAboutMovies13 August 2021
Warning: Spoilers
First off, that title says the same thing twice. But hey, let's forgive a movie that has a skeletal narrator who is supposed to sound like Rod Serling but has a voice-over actor who didn't get the memo and decided to sound more like Howard Cosell. This movie has the temerity to use puppets not only in the opening, but for the bats and other creatures throughout, as well as one of the worst cat effects ever. This all makes make love this because it was shot on film and made in 1984. If it was a digital video streaming release from this year, I would have hated it. Such is the wonder of me.

This movie came out of the Earl Owensby Studios, a place where Ginger Alden made Lady Grey opposite David Allen Coe and the thinly-veiled Elvis bio Living Legend: The King of Rock and Ro complete with a soundtrack by Roy Orbison. The secret to Owensby's success? Never spending more than a million dollars to make a film and never signing a distribution deal that would net them less than eight million. He also knew how to make money, because his purchase of the abandoned Cherokee Nuclear Power Plant ended up providing exactly the set that James Cameron was able to fill with water to make The Abyss.

Igor the skeleton is joined by some ravens - or vultures or crows, they're puppets that aren't well made - three of whom sound like the Three Stooges and two that are Laurel and Hardy to cover all the comedy bases as he introduces three tales of terror that all involve Dr. Tongue-level three-dimensional effects.

In Young Blood, a vampiric couple pushes an adoption agency to get a child - any child - and end up with a werewolf. If you've seen it all before, you have, as this story is "The Secret" from Haunt of Fear #24. Seriously, it's the same exact story, but if you're going to steal for your portmanteau, I guess steal from the best.

The Guardians is the tale of grave robbers who need money so bad that they'll cut the ring off a dead woman's finger (and take the finger as well). They get even greedier and descend into the catacombs under the graves where they meet their fate.

The whole reason you should watch this movie is the last segment, Visions of Sugar Plums. Two kids are dropped off at grandmother's house for the holidays as their parents go away to Hawaii. However, grandma has run out of her medicine and ends up singing Christmas carols about puking all over the place and killing Santa with a brick before she brines the cat like a holiday ham - don't worry, this effect was literally taking a live cat and putting some pineapples on him - and then grabbing a shotgun to kill the kids who defend themselves with knives as a deranged version of "Jingle Bells" plays. To top this all off, this segment was directed by Todd Durham*, who would create the Hotel Transylvania series of movies. He also made another 3D Owensby Studios film, Hyperspace (AKA Gremloids) which somehow stars Paula Poundstone and Chris Elliot.

Somehow, the titles for this movie show up nearly an hour into the movie. You have to love that kind of who cares filmmaking. I have no doubt that this movie will eventually come out from Vinegar Syndrome and people will lose their minds. Jump in now and drink in that third story.

*The other stories are directed by Worth Keeter, who would go on to make multiple episodes of Power Rangers, and Thom McIntyre, who wrote nearly all of the filmography of Owensby Studios.
1 out of 2 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
7/10
Two presentable but weak tales and one great story round out an average yet still quite enjoyable horror anthology that appears to be virtually unknown.
Foreverisacastironmess12319 December 2016
Warning: Spoilers
The opening wraparound segment of this is cute and fairly atmospheric, even if the stupid and annoying Laurel and Hardy and Three Stooges parody vultures make it feel like a kids' movie. Although I do love the skeleton named Igor who speaks like Rod Serling and rises from his grave to regale the audience with three spooky stories one dark misty night. He's honestly kind of creepy, I love the puppetry that they did with him, and it looks like they may have used a real skeleton for the prop... Wouldn't be the first time such a thing had been done for a horror movie. So the first tale is about a boy who's adopted from an orphanage by two eccentric weirdos who are quite obviously vampires right down to the hokey cliché ~"Good evening my darrling"~ Translevanian accents! Don't fix what ain't broke I guess.. Unfortunately for the would-be killer fanged fiends, the whole setup is some kind of a trap and the boy is a supernatural being as well, as they soon find out as the moon is full! The story's okay but I find it a bit stiff and cheap and drawn out with too much exposition. There's a Tales From the Crypt episode called "The Secret" that tells near-enough the exact same story only ten times better. The second story which is about greedy grave robbers who dig into deep underground tombs for jewellery and wind up unearthing more than they bargained for, was the story that I liked the least, I found it boring for the most part and the music was really horrible, although the set design of the flooded grave catacombs was well presented. It appeared to be a slight adaptation of the classic Henry Kuttner short story "The Graveyard Rats." Then there was the third segment which was fast, funny, frightening, and it really made up for the blandness of the previous two. It's very Christmassy and festive and blurs the fine line between scary-hilarious and disturbing. It's about two sweet little kids who go to spend Christmas with their loving old granny - or at least she would be if she hadn't happened to have just ran out of her sanity Meds! At first she just acts a little mildly strange, but as it gets closer to Christmas Eve she goes full-blown completely batshit bonkers bananas off her rocker and attacks them both with a double-barrel shotgun, which is so surreal and scary as she chases them from room to room in her whirring electric wheelchair! The lady playing was so hilarious and she brought such a great sense of fun that you can't help but laugh as she grows outrageously crazy and cranky and downright mean as she makes the kids believe that their parents have died in a plane crash, and plays a Gothic booming rendition of "Silent Night" on her organ, and tells the kids her own special demented macabre version of "A Night Before Christmas" at bedtime! Even though it's awful slapstick and turns into a complete cuckoo clock as she and the poor kids race around all sped up for a moment like in a Scooby Doo cartoon, it's still alarming when she points and blasts the shotgun at them! And then when she finally corners them and it appears that their Christmas goose is really cooked, there's a truly odd twist in the tale as jolly old Saint Nick himself shows up and the psycho granny is definitely on his naughty list as he uses his mighty Santa magic to send her flying up out the chimney and into outer space!!! In all my years of watching movies I've never seen such a thing and I just couldn't stop laughing an such a hysterical and awesomely bizarre spectacle! That tale just made the whole movie and I wish all of them could have been so much fun. It's an okay picture, nothing that will leave a strong impression but it is fun enough, just don't expect anything too great.. It's a neat little retro curio that's worth checking out if you are able to find it. Ho ho horror!!!
3 out of 3 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
9/10
Horror anthology 3-D style
petekrug1726 June 2007
This is one of six 3-D films released in the 1980s by a man named Earl Owensby. They're all very fun movies, but also very hard to find. All but one are VHS-only films. Your best bet of finding them (assuming you haven't thrown out your VCR,) is to go to the website www.earlowensby.com and buy them online. The films are:

CHAIN GANG (1984) HIT THE ROAD RUNNING DOGS OF HELL HYPERSPACE*

*This is the only film in the group that has been released on DVD.

(There is also another 3-D film Owensby released called HOT HEIR a.k.a. THE GREAT BALLOON CHASE, however it's not available for purchasing.)

This anthology horror/comedy film is presented to us in a cemetery at night by a living, rotting corpse who calls himself Igor and speaks from his open grave. He is also accompanied by some talking vultures who are modeled after the Three Stooges and Laurel and Hardy. The three stories are:

Two people who work at an adoption center, Dudley and Ms. Markette, are called over to a mansion at night near a graveyard by a couple who call themselves the count and countess. They speak with Transylvanian accents, and the Count wears a red and black cape. Dudley doesn't like the looks of them, but Ms. Markette finds it somehow impossible to refuse their requests to adopt a child, especially when the count gazes directly into her eyes. Soon the vampire couple have gotten custody of a young boy. What the two vampires don't know is he's an even more terrifying monster than they are...

In the second story, two men, Charlie and Freddy, meet with a gravedigger, Nigel, seemingly friendly. In fact they are using Nigel to get info on where and when someone rich has died and taken some valuable jewels to the grave with them. Later in the night they go dig up the grave and steal the jewels. Then Charlie gets a plan for a really big score. He's heard of some underground catacombs where there's supposed to be lots of valuables hidden underneath. The two go re-visit Nigel, and Charlie is able to force Nigel to tell them where the entrance is. What neither of the two grave robbers know is the underground tomb contains some deadly surprises...

In the last story, two young children, Dennis and Suzie, are sent to spend the holidays with their grandmother while their parents go on vacation in Hawaii. What no one else knows is grandma needs to be on medication to stay sane, otherwise she goes dangerously crazy...and she's almost run out of pills.

If you like horror mixed with broad comedy, this is a great film to watch. Again, though, the previously-mentioned website may be the only place now to get it, and you'll need a VCR.
16 out of 19 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink

See also

Awards | FAQ | User Ratings | External Reviews | Metacritic Reviews


Recently Viewed