37 reviews
- danielemerson
- May 30, 2016
- Permalink
With the tagline The big guns are back", director Andy Sidaris returned to Savage Beach, almost a decade after the original Savage Beach" movie. The title song is played while we watch the ladies swimming - pretty well aiming at the style of a Bond title sequence. Shae Marks looks like Lara Croft in her early (oversized) days when she enters Savage Beach in a tank top. Such elements of pop culture are nicely used again for an action flick that seems a bit confused in its first half, and sometimes uses annoying flashbacks, but later the loose ends are tied successfully, while another song named Which ending does this story have?" ironically explains that confusing the audience needs to be a part of the show. Marcus Bagwell, the Warrior from Day of the Warrior", helps the good guys this time, and Julie K. Smith gets the funniest scene when she can demonstrate her idea of punishing bad boys". This is the last one out of 12 Andy Sidaris movies I reviewed, certainly not the best among them because it's a bit of a patchwork and lacks new ideas (well, there was a submarine at least), but I have to congratulate the ensemble since they never put out a real bore in all these years - and that, by the way, was the strong point: ensemble. With the exception of "Malibu Express", there was never only one star, it's always about team-play.
- unbrokenmetal
- May 27, 2008
- Permalink
And I do believe that this 1998 movie "Return to Savage Beach" (aka "L. E. T. H. A. L. Ladies: Return to Savage Beach") do round up my venture into the Sidaris movies. Most of which movies I have only seen for the first time here in 2022, believe it or not.
The 1998 action movie "Return to Savage Beach" has writer and director Andy Sidaris at the wheel, which is fortunate for the movie and the franchise at large, since his son Christian Drew Sidaris just didn't have the required skills to make movies worthy of his father's legacy. Sure, a movie like "Return to Savage Beach" is hardly a cinematic gem, but it does make for some cheesy watchable action.
If you have seen any of the numerous L. E. T. H. A. L. movies, then you know what you are in for with the 1998 movie "Return to Savage Beach" as well. Yeah, why fix or tinker with a formula that apparently worked out well enough? For better or worse, then "Return to Savage Beach" delivers what you would expect.
Sure, it is nice to see returning cast members such as Julie Strain, Rodrigo Obregó and Gerald Okamura.
Watchable for what it is, "Return to Savage Beach" is sure to please fans of the L. E. T. H. A. L. franchise.
My rating of "Return to Savage Beach" lands on a five out of ten stars.
The 1998 action movie "Return to Savage Beach" has writer and director Andy Sidaris at the wheel, which is fortunate for the movie and the franchise at large, since his son Christian Drew Sidaris just didn't have the required skills to make movies worthy of his father's legacy. Sure, a movie like "Return to Savage Beach" is hardly a cinematic gem, but it does make for some cheesy watchable action.
If you have seen any of the numerous L. E. T. H. A. L. movies, then you know what you are in for with the 1998 movie "Return to Savage Beach" as well. Yeah, why fix or tinker with a formula that apparently worked out well enough? For better or worse, then "Return to Savage Beach" delivers what you would expect.
Sure, it is nice to see returning cast members such as Julie Strain, Rodrigo Obregó and Gerald Okamura.
Watchable for what it is, "Return to Savage Beach" is sure to please fans of the L. E. T. H. A. L. franchise.
My rating of "Return to Savage Beach" lands on a five out of ten stars.
- paul_haakonsen
- Jul 15, 2022
- Permalink
This has everything you could ever want in a horrible movie: awful dialogue, atrotious acting, zero story, gigantic breasts, explosions, a villian in a Phantom of the Opera mask, and Buff Bagwell! Great to watch with a group of people with a sense of humor.
The last of Andy Sidaris's 'bullets and boobs' flicks is sadly the least accomplished, whereas the others had reasonably fun plots (threadbare as they were) to go along with the copious amounts of nudity on display, this one was just dreary & lifeless a mere shell of what these films were in their heyday (from 1985-1994) Very sad to say that the fun and magic of those films just isn't present in this one.
Eye Candy: Julie K. Smith, Julie Strain, & Carrie Westcott provide ample T&A; Shae Marks shows everything
My Grade: D
DVD Extras: Introduction with Andy and Julie Strain; Director's Commantery; 37 minute Behind the scenes featurette (featuring abundant nudity); Production Stills; Andy Sidaris filmography; web-links; Theatrical Trailer; and Trailers for 11 other Sidaris films (all with abundant nudity)
Eye Candy: Julie K. Smith, Julie Strain, & Carrie Westcott provide ample T&A; Shae Marks shows everything
My Grade: D
DVD Extras: Introduction with Andy and Julie Strain; Director's Commantery; 37 minute Behind the scenes featurette (featuring abundant nudity); Production Stills; Andy Sidaris filmography; web-links; Theatrical Trailer; and Trailers for 11 other Sidaris films (all with abundant nudity)
- movieman_kev
- May 11, 2008
- Permalink
This last film in the Andy Sidaris series essentially revolves around a computer disk being stolen which contains the location of some missing treasure that was buried on the same island that two formal agents of the L. E. T. H. A. L. agency--"Donna" (Dona Speir) and "Taryn" (Hope Marie Carlton)--helped solve a case involving stolen gold several years previously in the movie "Savage Beach." Not only that, but helping the agency is a former criminal known simply as "the Warrior" (Marcus Bagwell) who was featured in the movie "Day of the Warrior" and has recently been released from prison. The problem is that the mastermind behind the search for the missing treasure is a man named "Rodrigo Obregon" (Rodrigo Martinez) who is not only several steps ahead of the L. E. T. H. A. L. agency, but also harbors a special grudge against several of those agents as well. Now, as I mentioned before, this is the last film of the Andy Sidaris series and, quite frankly, is easily the worst. To be sure, it follows the same general pattern as all of the previous movies before it with the main emphasis being given to the sex appeal of a number of female actresses with Julie Strain (as "Willow Black"), Julie K. Smith ("Cobra") and Ava Cadell ("Ava") standing out the most, in my opinion. The acting, however, is probably the worst of all of the other films in the series and, in spite of all of the pyrotechnics, the film itself lacked any real excitement. In short, it wasn't all that entertaining, and I have rated it accordingly.
"Return to Savage Beach" inevitably draws comparisons with its predecessor, "Savage Beach" (1989), and these comparisons aren't favorable: for one thing, the exotic locations are captured with much less flair this time around, and for another, Shae Marks and Julie K. Smith are no Dona Speir and Hope Marie Carlton. With those two, you could almost forget that they were former Playboy Playmates and accept them as B-movie actresses; with these two, you can never do that (also, this film proves that there is such a thing as "too much silicon"). Everything here is recycled: the jokes, the weapons, the actors, even footage from "Savage Beach". Julie Strain looks bored, and Christian Letelier wins the "so bad it's funny" award for his line-reading. Carrie Westcott is marginally hotter than the other girls, due to the perpetual look of contempt on her face. You know something is wrong when a pro-wrestler (Marcus "Buff" Bagwell) actually does the most enjoyable acting in the movie! (*1/2)
Incredibly bad. Yeah, it was never going to be Citizen Kane but they could at least have tried! Mindless plot, hammy acting, laughable dialogue - there's nothing positive about this.
Where to begin, poor acting by playboy playmate models and assorted cast can be overlooked when there is massive amounts of breasts and asses to go around.
The thing about it is, why is Marcus "Buff" Bagwell here, and more importantly how lucky can he be? the movie sucked in terms of quality but if you want hilarious fun and lots of eye candy then watch it. I know I did :-)
Buff.....daddy! He should be in the movie more because he can act twice as good as the other guys involved in this piece of crap. The guy who played Tyler is THE WORST actor I have ever seen.
The highlight of the movie is 2 of the playmates go after the terrorists....who happen to be 2 white guys with uzi's...and with hand pistols they manage to blow up the boat with the "terrorists" on it, and Julie Strain goes "Oh boy they got the terrorists" and this other clown goes "Yeah but the boat's toast"
6 out of 10 because I'm a straight man, otherwise it would have been 2 out of 10
The thing about it is, why is Marcus "Buff" Bagwell here, and more importantly how lucky can he be? the movie sucked in terms of quality but if you want hilarious fun and lots of eye candy then watch it. I know I did :-)
Buff.....daddy! He should be in the movie more because he can act twice as good as the other guys involved in this piece of crap. The guy who played Tyler is THE WORST actor I have ever seen.
The highlight of the movie is 2 of the playmates go after the terrorists....who happen to be 2 white guys with uzi's...and with hand pistols they manage to blow up the boat with the "terrorists" on it, and Julie Strain goes "Oh boy they got the terrorists" and this other clown goes "Yeah but the boat's toast"
6 out of 10 because I'm a straight man, otherwise it would have been 2 out of 10
For his final ever film, director Andy Sidaris sees just how far he can go in terms of sheer audacity, preposterous plot developments this time around including the previously extremely evil megalomaniac The Warrior (Marcus Bagwell) changing his ways to become a government agent (and sex partner for Julie Strain's Willow Black), Filipino villain Rodrigo Martinez (Rodrigo Obregón) returning from the dead sporting a cheap Phantom of the Opera-style mask, and a very silly finalé that sees the bad guy being unmasked ala a classic episode of Scooby Doo. There are also numerous flashbacks, loads of convoluted double-crosses and deceit, and lots of dreary exposition courtesy of Obregón.
Of course, we also get the regular ingredients from Sidaris—Playboy models with massive mammaries and the fashion sense of a Hollywood hooker, hunks who leave their shirts undone to show off their abs, lots of poorly choreographed action, exploding remote controlled vehicles, a pointless fantasy sequence—but this time around it seems as if everyone is simply going through the motions, as though all involved knew that the series was at an end and just wanted to get it over and done with as quickly as possible and with the least fuss and bother.
Of course, we also get the regular ingredients from Sidaris—Playboy models with massive mammaries and the fashion sense of a Hollywood hooker, hunks who leave their shirts undone to show off their abs, lots of poorly choreographed action, exploding remote controlled vehicles, a pointless fantasy sequence—but this time around it seems as if everyone is simply going through the motions, as though all involved knew that the series was at an end and just wanted to get it over and done with as quickly as possible and with the least fuss and bother.
- BA_Harrison
- Dec 19, 2012
- Permalink
Not only does this movie have some really attractive women, such as Julie Strain, but it also has the amazing Marcus Bagwell. Also known as Buff "The Stuff" Bagwell, he portrays a former wrestler turned crime lord, who kills his enemies in a wrestling ring. Lots of really cheesy one-liners, bad special effects, silly gunfights, wrestling, and, of course, gratuitous nudity and sex, this movie is a joy to watch.
I hadn't seen an Andy Sidaris film in years (not with the sound turned up, anyway) and I had no reason to believe this one would be any different from his others. Those always had the same elements. First it would have a totally uninvolving action story full of explosions and martial arts. Second, it would have a script that was stilted and pedestrian. Third, it would feature almost uniformly wooden acting. I'm talkin' sequoia here. Last, it would be full of bodacious babes who were always clad in one of two ways: scantily or un-. Only one of these elements interested me (take a guess) and the others made his movies all but unwatchable.
Well maybe I'm getting mellow in my old age or possibly Sidaris learned something from his other films because I could actually enjoy this one as simple dumb fun. The main factor here is a switch in emphasis to flesh over fireworks and fighting. The story is still the same non-entity, the acting is as bad as ever (does Sidaris want it that way?) but the women are a softcore voyeur's delight, though if you prefer nature's bounty over the wonders of cosmetic surgery, you may not appreciate them. The way is led in this film by the udderly amazing duo of Julie K. Smith and Shae Marks, with Julie Strain also on hand and Playboy alumnus Carrie Wescott as the nominal villainess. Marks was also a Playboy centerfold model and one would have thought she wouldn't have needed to augment her considerable natural charms, but I guess that was a career decision.
This movie is not headed for the National Film Registry but I was able to enjoy it on some level and considering Sidaris' previous output, that surprised me.
Well maybe I'm getting mellow in my old age or possibly Sidaris learned something from his other films because I could actually enjoy this one as simple dumb fun. The main factor here is a switch in emphasis to flesh over fireworks and fighting. The story is still the same non-entity, the acting is as bad as ever (does Sidaris want it that way?) but the women are a softcore voyeur's delight, though if you prefer nature's bounty over the wonders of cosmetic surgery, you may not appreciate them. The way is led in this film by the udderly amazing duo of Julie K. Smith and Shae Marks, with Julie Strain also on hand and Playboy alumnus Carrie Wescott as the nominal villainess. Marks was also a Playboy centerfold model and one would have thought she wouldn't have needed to augment her considerable natural charms, but I guess that was a career decision.
This movie is not headed for the National Film Registry but I was able to enjoy it on some level and considering Sidaris' previous output, that surprised me.
- Hermit C-2
- Sep 13, 1999
- Permalink
So many twists during the movie...
One moment you think the script is the worst, next minute you think the acting's the worst, after that you think the directing's the worst - you'll be on the edge of your seat trying to figure out which aspect of this production should take the "worst aspect" award.
Thirteen-year-old fans of silicon mammae should be suitably impressed and entertained, but even they'll likely be too mature for the dialogue and storyline in this "creation" (which seems to have been aimed at eight-year-olds).
Do yourself a favour - go watch the original Thunderbirds marionette series; at least their acting will be far less wooden that what you'll find here.
One moment you think the script is the worst, next minute you think the acting's the worst, after that you think the directing's the worst - you'll be on the edge of your seat trying to figure out which aspect of this production should take the "worst aspect" award.
Thirteen-year-old fans of silicon mammae should be suitably impressed and entertained, but even they'll likely be too mature for the dialogue and storyline in this "creation" (which seems to have been aimed at eight-year-olds).
Do yourself a favour - go watch the original Thunderbirds marionette series; at least their acting will be far less wooden that what you'll find here.
- Angry_Santa
- Jan 10, 2021
- Permalink
Similar to Acalpuco HEAT, the syndicated TV show, this is a secret service agency that fights terrorists. The notable exception of this movie is that every female character has enormous boobs. Most of the women easily surpass Double D cup sizes. Every female character is matched with a studly male coagent who has to have sex with their respective costar during the movie at least once. This doesn't leave much time for a realistic plot scene, but hey, if you are watching this, you weren't really expecting much but Tits and Ass were you? Of note, this is when Shae Marks breasts were at her biggest before she had some of the silicone taken out. They are impressive to say the least
Gosh, this movie is all about breast and being...sexy? Gorgeous women with giant breasts , good looking men with hunky looks, many explosions, many shoots and guns, but what the heck! we are sexy let's get it on now, that's the movie all about, another excuse to try to make a porn movie without hard core sex.I was actually expecting for a good sex scene because the storyline was really poor and the ladies and her male companions were really hot all the time so ...lets wait for something then...But, nothing happened, just more shoots , more sexy bodysuits, and a good excuse to wake up my partner and have a little fun. This movie is a holy crap, if you look for action, please watch something else, if you look for sex please watch something else too is very disappointing, actually very sad.
- AlexeiAngelov
- Sep 23, 2006
- Permalink
I only give it a one because this doesn't allow negatives, and for the fact that it had some VERY BEAUTIFUL WOMEN! Aside from physical attractiveness, this movie had nothing. NO ACTING, No Plot, pathetic chase scenes, lame make-up, No suspense. It doesn't even deserve to be in the B-Rated films. This movie made Napolean Dynamite look intelligent. Is there any rating down around L, M, or N. The only thing that could have made this watchable would have been to make X-Rated. Tiny Tim sang Tip-Toe Through the Tulips better than any of these people acted. The dudes in this movie were even worse than the ladies. The one guy looked like he had cue cars "H-E-L-D....U-P....F-O-R....H-I-M...T-O....R-E-A-D. If he were any worse, they would have to call him in the the New Ocean Spray Cranberry commercials. I have without a doubt scene better video on www.stupidvideos.com. A little advice to Mr. Sicardis, just because you have a video camera and money to produce a movie....DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD!!!
- royrmcmillan
- Mar 24, 2006
- Permalink
This (and ALL Sidaris movies) are just soft core porn. PERIOD. End of sentence. Terrible on every other level. At least he goes to the trouble to recruit world class eye candy, but don't expect ANYTHING else. Since I have to fill in more comments, I will do it in in tribute to this borderline porn. Big boobs. Big boobs. Big boobs. Big boobs. Big boobs. Big boobs. Big boobs. Big boobs. Big boobs. Big boobs. Big boobs. Big boobs. Big boobs. Big boobs. Big boobs. Big boobs. Big boobs. Big boobs. Big boobs. Big boobs. Big boobs. Big boobs. Big boobs. Big boobs. Big boobs. Big boobs. Big boobs. Big boobs. Big boobs. Big boobs. Big boobs. Big boobs. Big boobs. Big boobs. Big boobs. Big boobs. Big boobs. Big boobs. Big boobs. Big boobs. Big boobs. Big boobs. and...... Big boobs.
- imdb-19602
- Apr 6, 2008
- Permalink
The last in the Andy Sidaris Lethal Ladies series, 'Return To Savage Beach' comes full circle. The hunt for a computer disc holding the location of buried treasure references the previous 1989 title, plot points and characters. Brief flashbacks included. Of course, this entry still delivers the expected female nudity and remains the best part by far. The busty quota is high here at the end of the enhanced 90's.
Lovely ladies Julie Strain (this time as a good guy), Julie K Smith, Shae Marks (enhanced) return. Ava Cadell too, but non-nude. Playmate Carrie Westcott (enhanced). Longtime male regulars Rodrigo Obregón & Gerald Okamura. Cristian Letelier has his third go while ex-pro wrestler Marcus Bagwell makes his second.
These movies have a special kind of kitsch and you're either on board with the formula or not. Typical one note stories & a rotating cast that could die off and come back as different character or switch sides. 'Return' continues to serve up ladies with massive talents, hot climates & remote controlled bombs. However it's missing an effort to feel bigger in scope that was found in earlier 90's sequels and a lack of humor.
A few lengthy speeches, ninjas and another champagne toast. This title should mildly satisfy Sidaris fans although the later films don't have the same feel as the 80's counterparts. A certain level of cheesy charm gave away to just delivering the goods. To put a finer point on things you get to see Julie Strain in a bikini, Julie K's boobs and Shae's entire naked body all within the first ten minutes of 'Return to Savage Beach'.
Lovely ladies Julie Strain (this time as a good guy), Julie K Smith, Shae Marks (enhanced) return. Ava Cadell too, but non-nude. Playmate Carrie Westcott (enhanced). Longtime male regulars Rodrigo Obregón & Gerald Okamura. Cristian Letelier has his third go while ex-pro wrestler Marcus Bagwell makes his second.
These movies have a special kind of kitsch and you're either on board with the formula or not. Typical one note stories & a rotating cast that could die off and come back as different character or switch sides. 'Return' continues to serve up ladies with massive talents, hot climates & remote controlled bombs. However it's missing an effort to feel bigger in scope that was found in earlier 90's sequels and a lack of humor.
A few lengthy speeches, ninjas and another champagne toast. This title should mildly satisfy Sidaris fans although the later films don't have the same feel as the 80's counterparts. A certain level of cheesy charm gave away to just delivering the goods. To put a finer point on things you get to see Julie Strain in a bikini, Julie K's boobs and Shae's entire naked body all within the first ten minutes of 'Return to Savage Beach'.
- refinedsugar
- Aug 27, 2023
- Permalink
"Return to Savage Beach" is an okay watch if you're all hungover and you don't even feel like using the remote. It's not one of the best L. E. T. H. A. L. Ladies movies but I'm not even sure I know what that means.
- hillbillyfromhell
- Nov 16, 2007
- Permalink
Think about it - Jack Bauer plus Julie K. Smith? Are you kidding me? The other networks might as well just show a test pattern in that timeslot.
Actually these movies are kind of entertaining if you think of it as the progeny of Russ Meyer making films for the post-cable generation. Not great art, not good art, not really even art, but certainly not the worst stuff in the world.
As another review said, you can watch it with the sound turned up and the plot isn't any more BS than what you'd see on 24.
Makes you miss the days of "Hard Ticket To Hawaii" and "Picasso Trigger". Better than two dustballs talking about their PSP.
Actually these movies are kind of entertaining if you think of it as the progeny of Russ Meyer making films for the post-cable generation. Not great art, not good art, not really even art, but certainly not the worst stuff in the world.
As another review said, you can watch it with the sound turned up and the plot isn't any more BS than what you'd see on 24.
Makes you miss the days of "Hard Ticket To Hawaii" and "Picasso Trigger". Better than two dustballs talking about their PSP.
An Andy Sidaris classic, folks. For those of you who have never seen any of this guy's movies, check this one out.....it'll tell you all you need to know. "Hard Hunted", "Hard Ticket To Hawaii", "Day of the Warrior", etc., and this movie are all about the same. Beautiful, busty secret agent women and burly dudes blowing up stuff and having sex in Hawaii.
This one involves the recovery of a box of goodies that was buried on an island somewhere in the South Pacific by the Philippine government. "Tiger" and "Cobra" are the secret agents to look out for. Look at their chests and you'll know why. As a long-time wrestling fan, I was suprised to see Marcus "Buff" Bagwell have a prominent role in this one. He even got down and dirty with Julie Strain....lucky guy! Oh yeah, did I mention she's in this, too? She's in a lot of these, but she's in this flick as the leader of the L.E.T.H.A.L. Force (Legion to Enforce Total Harmony And Law). Ava, the big-chested "sextrologist" is back, sending secret messages to operatives over the airwaves.
One agent (the one who dresses in the red leather outfit and hands out the poison pizza) appears later on in the movie during the resolution scenes with what sounds like a poorly-done Russian accent. Don't forget the villain, dressed in an outfit straight out of "Phantom of the Opera".
I'd recommend this movie to anyone who's a fan of the B-movie/soft-core genre....sure, it's not "A" quality, but there's lots of skin and explosions to make up for that!
This one involves the recovery of a box of goodies that was buried on an island somewhere in the South Pacific by the Philippine government. "Tiger" and "Cobra" are the secret agents to look out for. Look at their chests and you'll know why. As a long-time wrestling fan, I was suprised to see Marcus "Buff" Bagwell have a prominent role in this one. He even got down and dirty with Julie Strain....lucky guy! Oh yeah, did I mention she's in this, too? She's in a lot of these, but she's in this flick as the leader of the L.E.T.H.A.L. Force (Legion to Enforce Total Harmony And Law). Ava, the big-chested "sextrologist" is back, sending secret messages to operatives over the airwaves.
One agent (the one who dresses in the red leather outfit and hands out the poison pizza) appears later on in the movie during the resolution scenes with what sounds like a poorly-done Russian accent. Don't forget the villain, dressed in an outfit straight out of "Phantom of the Opera".
I'd recommend this movie to anyone who's a fan of the B-movie/soft-core genre....sure, it's not "A" quality, but there's lots of skin and explosions to make up for that!
- AngryCrow1991
- Jul 29, 2020
- Permalink
I really love this film.
This film is a mixture of Action, Glamour and girls.
A Watchable entertrainer.
This film is a mixture of Action, Glamour and girls.
A Watchable entertrainer.
- aryanalexander
- Jul 5, 2021
- Permalink