Bedrooms and Hallways (1998)

Tom Hollander: Darren

Photos 

Quotes 

• Darren : [describing Jeremy]  Seething animal passions about to erupt through the pie crust of decorum.

• Leo : Who is it?

  Darren : I'm not sure, but his voice washed over me like a dark, powerful river.

• Darren : Rub some compost in your face, straight boys love it.

• Darren : All relationships end, either one of you leaves or one of you dies.

• Leo : Why do I have to have such a complicated sex life?

  Darren : It's because you give off complicated vibrations. Simplify your vibrations, your sex life simplifies itself.

• Sally : [finds a blindfolded naked man cuffed to her bed]  What the hell is this?

  Darren : OH HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR GERALDINE, CONGRATULATIONS, YOU'RE SEVENTEEN!

  Sally : My name is not Geraldine and it's not my birthday

  Darren : Isn't it? This is 25 Shelldrake Avenue?

  Sally : No this is 23 Shelldrake Avenue

  Darren : Oh, how appallingly embarrassing of me, I'm an S&M-ogram, I must've gotten the wrong address

  [embarrassed, under his breath] 

  Darren : oh no!

  Sally : Wait... don't I know you?

  Darren : God I hope not

  [she unties blindfold, he recognizes her] 

  Darren : AHH!

• Darren : What else do you want? He's gorgeous, he's charming and he made breakfast.

  Leo : I mean the man is on the rebound, you know from women in general. I mean, he wants me because I'm not a woman.

  Darren : It seems a very good reason to want someone.

  Leo : But it's a negative reason, Darren. He wants me for what I'm not, not for what I am.

  Darren : Any good in bed?

  Leo : Yeah, yeah, he was, but...

  Darren : [interrupting]  Well then keep him.

• Darren : Something terrible has happened and I need your support.

  Angie : Not now Darren, I'm making lasagna.