Shrek (2001)
Eddie Murphy: Donkey
Photos
Quotes
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[looking for a certain type of flower]
Donkey : Blue flower, red thorns. Blue flower, red thorns. Blue flower, red thorns. Man, this would be so much easier if I wasn't COLOR-BLIND!
-
Donkey : We can stay up late, swapping manly stories, and in the morning, I'm making waffles!
-
Shrek : For your information, there's a lot more to ogres than people think.
Donkey : Example?
Shrek : Example... uh... ogres are like onions!
[holds up an onion, which Donkey sniffs]
Donkey : They stink?
Shrek : Yes... No!
Donkey : Oh, they make you cry?
Shrek : No!
Donkey : Oh, you leave 'em out in the sun, they get all brown, start sproutin' little white hairs...
Shrek : [peels an onion] NO! Layers. Onions have layers. Ogres have layers... You get it? We both have layers.
[walks off]
Donkey : Oh, you both have LAYERS. Oh. You know, not everybody like onions. CAKE! Everybody loves cake! Cakes have layers!
Shrek : I don't care what everyone likes! Ogres are not like cakes.
Donkey : You know what ELSE everybody likes? Parfaits! Have you ever met a person, you say, "Let's get some parfait," they say, "Hell no, I don't like no parfait."? Parfaits are delicious!
Shrek : NO! You dense, irritating, miniature beast of burden! Ogres are like onions! End of story! Bye-bye! See ya later.
Donkey : Parfait's may be the most delicious thing on the whole damn planet!
-
Donkey : Hi, Princess!
Princess Fiona : It talks!
Shrek : Yeah, it's getting him to shut up that's the trick!
-
[Shrek, his swamp filled with fairytale creatures, glares at Donkey]
Donkey : Hey, don't look at me, I didn't invite them!
Pinocchio : Oh, gosh, no one invited us!
Shrek : What?
Pinocchio : We were forced to come here!
Shrek : By who?
Little Pig : Lord Farquaad. He huffed, and he puffed... and he signed an eviction notice.
-
Donkey : Hey, what's your problem, Shrek, what you got against the whole world anyway, huh?
Shrek : Look, I'm not the one with the problem, okay? It's the world that seems to have a problem with ME! People take one look at me and go "Aargh! Help! Run! A big stupid ugly ogre!" They judge me before they even know me - that's why I'm better off alone...
Donkey : You know, Shrek... when we first met, I didn't think you were a big, stupid, ugly ogre.
Shrek : Yeah, I know.
-
Princess Fiona : The sooner we get to Duloc, the better!
Donkey : Oh, you gonna love it there, Princess, it's beautiful!
Princess Fiona : And my groom-to-be Lord Farquaad, what's he like?
Shrek : Well, let me put it this way, Princess: men of his stature are in SHORT supply.
[chortles]
Donkey : Yeah! Though there are those who think LITTLE of him!
[laughs]
-
[Donkey thinks he's dying]
The Donkey : Hey, where're you going? Oh man, I can't feel my toes!
[Looks down and yelps]
The Donkey : I don't have any toes!
[sits down]
The Donkey : I think I need a hug.
-
Shrek : Listen, little donkey, take a look at me! What am I?
Donkey : Ah... really tall?
Shrek : No! I'm an OGRE! You know, "grab your torch and pitchforks!" Doesn't that bother you?
Donkey : Nope.
Shrek : Really?
Donkey : Really, really.
Shrek : [taken aback] Oh.
Donkey : Man, I like you. What's your name?
Shrek : Er... Shrek.
-
Captain of Guards : [as Donkey flies through the air on pixie dust] He can talk!
Donkey : That's right, fool! Now I'm a flying talking donkey! You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly, but I bet you ain't never seen a donkeyfly! Ha, ha!
[pixie dust wears off]
Donkey : Uh-oh!
-
Donkey : You're so wrapped up in layers onion boy, you're afraid of your own feelings!
Shrek : [hiding in the toilet] Go away!
Donkey : See? There you are, doing it again! Just like you did to Fiona! All she ever did was like you maybe, even love you!
Shrek : LOVE me? She said I was ugly, a hideous creature! I heard the two of you talking!
Donkey : She wasn't talking about you, okay? She was talking about... uh... somebody else.
Shrek : [comes out] She... wasn't... talking about me?
-
[Shrek has been hit by an arrow]
Princess Fiona : Oh!... oh, this is all my fault...
Donkey : Why, what's wrong?
Princess Fiona : Shrek's hurt!
Donkey : Shrek's hurt? Shrek's HURT? Oh, no, Shrek's gonna die!
Shrek : Donkey, I'm okay!
Donkey : You can't do this to me, Shrek, I'm too young for you to die! Keep your feet elevated! Turn your head and cough! Does anybody know the Heimlich...?
Princess Fiona : [grabs Donkey] Donkey, calm down! If you want to help Shrek, go into the forest and look for a blue flower with red thorns.
Donkey : Blue flower, red thorns! Okay, I got it! Blue flower, red thorns! Blue flower, red thorns! Don't die, Shrek, and if you see any long tunnels, stay away from the light!
Shrek : DONKEY!
Donkey : Okay, okay. Blue flower, red thorns! Blue flower, red thorns!
[runs off]
Shrek : What're the flowers for?
Princess Fiona : For getting rid of Donkey.
-
[as they approach Fiona's castle, Donkey smells the air]
Donkey : Woah, Shrek, did you do that? Man, you gotta warn somebody before you just crack one off, my mouth was open and everything!
Shrek : Believe me, Donkey, if it was me, you'd be dead!
[sniffs]
Shrek : It's brimstone. We must be getting close.
Donkey : Yeah, right, brimstone. Don't be talking about "it's the brimstone". I know what I smelled and it wasn't no brimstone and it didn't come off no stone neither.
-
Princess Fiona : [as ogre] Donkey, shh, shh. It's me... in this body.
Donkey : [gasps] Oh, my God, you ate the princess!
-
Donkey : I'll find those stairs. I'll whip their butt, too. Those stairs won't know which way they're going... take drastic steps, kick it to the curb. Don't mess wit' me. I'm the Stair Master. I've mastered the stairs. I wish I had a step right here, right now, I'd step all over it...
-
Shrek : Princess, I was SENT to rescue you by Lord Farquad, okay? HE's the one that wants to marry you.
Princess Fiona : Well, why didn't he come to rescue me?
Shrek : Good question! You can ask him that when we get there...
Princess Fiona : But I'm supposed to be rescued by my true love, not by some ogre a-a-and his PET!
Donkey : Well, so much for noble steed!
Shrek : Look, Princess, you're not making my job any easier...
Princess Fiona : Well, I'm sorry, but your job is not my problem. You tell Lord "Far-Quad" that if he wants to rescue me PROPERLY, I'll be waiting for him right here!
[sits down]
Shrek : Hey! I'm nobody's messenger boy, all right? I'm a delivery boy!
Princess Fiona : You wouldn't dare...!
[Shrek carries her off]
Shrek : You coming, Donkey?
Donkey : Yeah, I'm right behind you.
-
Donkey : Shrek! Hold up, Shrek! You got to wait for the line!
Shrek : [about to burst into the cathedral] What are you talking about?
Donkey : The line, the line you gotta wait for: the priest's gonna say "Speak now or forever hold your piece", and you rush in and say "I object!"
Shrek : I don't have time for all that!
[runs forward]
Donkey : [stops Shrek] You love this woman, don't ya?
Shrek : Yes.
Donkey : Do you wanna hold her?
Shrek : Yes!
Donkey : Please her?
Shrek : YES!
Donkey : Then ya gotta, gotta try a little TENDERNESS! Chicks love that romantic crap!
Shrek : All right, cut it out! When does this guy say the line?
Donkey : ...We gotta check that out.
-
[Dragon, having a crush on Donkey, is cuddling him]
Donkey : [desperately talking] I don't want to rush into a... physical relationship... I'm not that emotionally ready for a... uh... commitment of this... uh... magnitude! Really, that's the word I'm looking for, magnitude... Huh! Hey, that is unwanted physical contact! Hey! What're you doing? Okay, okay, okay... let's just back up a little and take this one step at a time... I mean, we should really get to know each other first, you know, as friends or maybe even as pen pals, you know, coz I'm on the road a lot, but I just love to get a card... Hey, hey, hey, don't do that, that's my TAIL, that's my personal tail, you gonna tear it off! I don't give permission to... Hey, what're you gonna do with that? Oh, no, no, no, no... no!
-
Princess Fiona : [after Shrek and Donkey rescue her] The battle is won. You may remove your helmet, good Sir Knight.
Shrek : Uh, no...
Princess Fiona : Why not?
Shrek : I... have helmet hair.
Princess Fiona : Please. I would'st look upon the face of my rescuer.
Shrek : Oh, no, you wouldn't... tst.
Princess Fiona : But... how will you kiss me?
Shrek : [bangs his head] What? That wasn't in the job description!
The Donkey : Maybe it's a perk!
Princess Fiona : No, it's destiny! You must know how it goes! A princess locked in a tower and beset by a dragon is rescued by a brave knight, and then they share true love's first kiss.
The Donkey : With Shrek? Whoa, whoa, whoa... you think, you think that Shrek is your true love?
Princess Fiona : Well, yes!
[Shrek and Donkey look at each other and burst into laughter]
Princess Fiona : What is so funny?
Shrek : Let's just say, I'm not your type, all right?
-
Donkey : I don't get it, Shrek. Why didn't you just pull some of that ogre stuff on him? You know, throttle him, lay siege to his fortress, grind his bones to make your bread? You know, the whole ogre trip.
Shrek : Oh, I know. Maybe I could have decapitated an entire village, put their heads on a pike, gotten a knife, cut open their spleens and drink their fluids. Does that sound good to you?
Donkey : Uh... no, not really, no.
-
Donkey : Princess?... You look... uh... different.
Princess Fiona : [as ogre] I'm UGLY! Okay?
Donkey : Yeah! What was it, something you ate? I told Shrek those weedrats were a bad idea!
Princess Fiona : No. it's... it's been this way as long as I can remember.
Donkey : What d'you mean? Look, I ain't never seen you like this before!
Princess Fiona : It only happens when the sun goes down.
[looks at her reflection in a water barrel]
Princess Fiona : "By night one way, by day another / Thus shall be the norm / Till you receive true love's kiss / then, take love's true form."
Donkey : Oh, that's beautiful. I didn't know you wrote poetry.
Princess Fiona : It's a spell! When I was a little girl, a witch cast a spell on me. Every night I become this, this horrible ugly beast! I was placed in the tower to await the day when my true love would rescue me. That's why I have to marry Lord Farquaad before the sun sets, and he sees me... like this.
[starts sobbing]
Donkey : All right, all right, calm down. It's not so bad. You're not that ugly... well, you are. I ain't gonna lie, you ARE ugly. But you only look like this at night, Shrek's ugly 24/7!
Princess Fiona : But Donkey, I'm a princess! And this is not how a princess is supposed to look!
Donkey : How about you don't marry Farquaad?
Princess Fiona : I have to. Only the true love's kiss can break the spell.
Donkey : Well, you're kind of an ogre. And you and Shrek, well, you got a lot in common.
Princess Fiona : Shrek?
-
Donkey : Hey, look at this!
[he goes up to an information booth and pulls a lever. After some clicking, many mechanized marionettes pop out and begin singing]
Clockwork Chorus : Welcome to Duloc, such a perfect town / Here we have some rules, let us lay them down: / Don't make waves, stay in line / And we'll get along fine / Duloc is a perfect place!
Clockwork Chorus : Please keep off of the grass / Shine your shoes, wipe your... FACE! / Duloc is, Duloc is / Duloc is a perfect... place!
[the booth takes Donkey and Shrek's photo, showing them stunned]
Donkey : Wow. Let's do that again!
Shrek : [grabs Donkey] No! No, no no no. No.
-
Shrek : [to Donkey] WHY are you following me?
Donkey : Oh, I'll tell you why.
[starts to sing]
Donkey : 'Cause I'm all alone / There's no one here beside me / My problems have all gone / There's no one to deride me! / But ya gotta have friends...
Shrek : STOP SINGING! Well, it's no wonder you don't have any friends!
Donkey : Wow! Only a TRUE friend would be that cruelly honest!
-
Donkey : Say, Shrek, what're we gonna do with our swamp?
Shrek : OUR swamp?
Donkey : You know, when we're though rescuing the princess and all that...
Shrek : Donkey, there's no "we", no "our". There's just ME and MY swamp! And the first thing I'm gonna do is build a ten-foot wall around my land.
Donkey : You cut me deep, Shrek. You cut me very deep just now... You know what, Shrek? I think this whole wall thing is to keep somebody out!
Shrek : [sarcastic] No! You think?
Donkey : Are you hiding something?
Shrek : Let it go, Donkey.
Donkey : Oh, this is one of those onion things, isn't it?
Shrek : No, it's one of those drop-it-and-leave-it-alone things.
Donkey : Why won't you talk about it?
Shrek : Why do you WANT to talk about it?
Donkey : Then why are you blocking?
Shrek : I'm not blocking!
Donkey : Oh, yes you are!
Shrek : Donkey, I'm warning you...
Donkey : Just who are you trying to keep away? Just tell me that, Shrek? Who?
Shrek : EVERYONE! Okay?
[pause]
Donkey : Oh, now we're getting somewhere!
Shrek : Oh, for the love of Pete...
-
[Dragon looms above Donkey]
Donkey : Oh, what large teeth you have!
[Dragon roars]
Donkey : I mean, white sparkly teeth! I know you probably hear this all the time from your food, but you must bleach or something 'cause that's one dazzling smile you got there! And do I detect a hint of minty freshness? And you know something, you're...
[the Dragon looks closer and Donkey sees she's female]
Donkey : A girl dragon... Oh, sure, I mean of COURSE you're a girl dragon! You're just reeking of feminine beauty and... hey, what's the matter with you, you got somethin' in your eye?
[Dragon blows out a heart-shaped cloud of smoke]
Donkey : Ohh... well, you know, I gotta go. I'm an asthmatic, I don't hold with smoke rings and stuff. SHREK!
[Dragon picks Donkey up and carries him away]
-
Donkey : Shrek, remember when you said that ogres have layers?
Shrek : Oh, aye?
Donkey : Well, I have a bit of a confession to make: donkeys don't have layers. We wear our fear right there on our sleeves.
Shrek : Wait a second, donkeys don't have sleeves!
Donkey : You know what I mean.
Shrek : Oh, you can't tell me you're afraid of heights?
Donkey : No, I'm just uncomfortable about being on a rickety bridge over a boiling lake of lava!
-
[Shrek burps in front of Donkey and Fiona]
The Donkey : Shrek!
Shrek : What? It's a compliment. Better out than in, I always say.
The Donkey : But that's no way to behave in front of a princess.
[Fiona burps louder]
Princess Fiona : Thanks.
The Donkey : [to Shrek] She's as nasty as you are.
-
[eyeing the "KEEP OUT" signs surrounding Shrek's home]
Donkey : I guess you don't, uh... entertain much, do you?
Shrek : I like my privacy.
Donkey : Y'know, I do too. That's another thing we have in common. I hate it when you've got someone in your face, you try to give someone a hint and they won't leave, and then there's that big awkward silence, y'know?
[big awkward silence ensues]
Donkey : Can I stay with you?
Shrek : What?
Donkey : Can I stay with you... *please?*
Shrek : Of course!
Donkey : Really?
Shrek : No.
Donkey : Please! I don't wanna go back there, you don't know what it's like to be treated as a freak!... Well, maybe you do... but that's why we gotta stick together! You gotta let me stay! Please! PLEASE!
-
Donkey : ...And then one time I ate some rotten berries. Man, there were some strong gases seepin' outta my butt that day!
-
Donkey : Okay, let me get this straight: you gonna go fight a dragon and rescue a princess just so Farquaad'll give you back your swamp, which you only don't have 'cause he filled it full of freaks in the first place. Is that about right?
Shrek : You know what? Maybe there's a good reason donkeys shouldn't talk.
-
The Donkey : All right, I hope you heard that? She called me a "noble steed." She thinks I'm a steed.
-
Donkey : All right, nobody move! I've got a dragon and I'm not afraid to use it! I'm a donkey on the edge!
-
[last lines]
Donkey : Oh, that's funny. Oh. Oh. I can't breathe. I can't breathe.
-
[Fiona notices it's sunset]
Princess Fiona : [uneasy] Shouldn't we stop to make camp?
Shrek : No, that'll take longer. We can keep going.
Princess Fiona : But, there's... ROBBERS, in the woods!
Donkey : Whoa! Time out, Shrek! Camp is definitely starting to sound good!
Shrek : Hey, come on, I'm scarier than anything we're gonna meet in this forest...
Princess Fiona : [in Shrek's face] I need to find somewhere to camp NOW!
-
Shrek : Go over there and see if you can find any stairs.
Donkey : Stairs? I thought we was lookin' for the Princess.
Shrek : The Princess will be up the stairs in the highest room in the tallest tower.
Donkey : How do you know that?
Shrek : I read it in a book once.
Donkey : Cool! You handle the dragon, I'll handle the stairs!
-
Shrek : Fiona? Are you all right?
[Fiona looks at herself, and sees she is still an ogre]
Princess Fiona : Yes. But, I don't understand. I'm supposed to be beautiful.
Shrek : But you are beautiful.
Donkey : I was hoping this would be a happy ending...
[Shrek and Fiona kiss]
-
Donkey : Okay, so here's another question: Say there's a woman who digs you, right, but you really don't like her THAT quick - now how do you let her down real easy so her feelings aren't hurt, but you don't get burned to a crisp and eaten? How do you do that?
Princess Fiona : Just tell her she's not your true love!
-
[Shrek roars at Donkey]
Donkey : Wow, that was really scary. And if you don't mind me saying, if that don't work your breath will certainly get the job done, cause you definitely need some Tic Tacs or something cause your breath STINKS!
-
Shrek : Back off!
Donkey : No, YOU back off!
Shrek : This is MY swamp!
Donkey : OUR swamp!
Shrek : Let go, Donkey!
Donkey : YOU let go!
Shrek : Stubborn jackass!
Donkey : Smelly ogre!
Shrek : ...Fine!
Donkey : Hey hey hey, come back here! I'm not through with you yet!
Shrek : Well I'm through with you!
Donkey : Uh-uh! You know with you, it's always "Me, me, me"! Well guess what? Now it's my turn! So you just SHUT UP and pay attention! You are mean to me, you insult me and you don't appreciate ANYTHING that I do! You're always pushing me around, or pushing me away!
Shrek : Oh yeah? Well if I've treated you so bad, how come you came back?
Donkey : Because that's what friends do: they FORGIVE EACH OTHER!
Shrek : Oh, yeah. You're right, Donkey. I forgive you... for STABBING ME IN THE BACK!
[hides in his toilet]
Donkey : [groans angrily] You're so wrapped up in layers, onion boy! You're afraid of your own feelings!
Shrek : Go away!
Donkey : See? There you are doing it again, just like you did to Fiona! And all she ever do was like you. Maybe even love you.
Shrek : LOVE me? She said I was UGLY! A hideous creature! I heard the two of you talking!
Donkey : She wasn't talking about you. She was talking about... uh, somebody else.
Shrek : [surprised by Donkey's revelation, comes out of the toilet] She wasn't talking about me? Well then who was she talking about?
Donkey : Uh-uh, no way, I ain't saying anything. You don't want to listen to me, right? Right?
Shrek : Donkey!
Donkey : NO!
Shrek : Okay, look! I'm sorry. All right?
[Donkey's not buying it]
Shrek : [sighs] I'm sorry. I guess I am just a big, stupid, ugly ogre. Can you forgive me?
Donkey : [turns around and smiles] Hey, that's what friends are for, right?
Shrek : Right.
[extends his hand to Donkey]
Shrek : Friends?
Donkey : [shakes Shrek's hand] Friends.
-
[Donkey and Shrek are looking at constellations in the night sky]
The Donkey : So, uh, are there any donkeys up there?
Shrek : Well, there's, um, Gabby, the Small and Annoying.
The Donkey : Okay, okay, I see it now. The big shiny one, right there. That one there?
Shrek : That's the moon.
The Donkey : Oh, okay.
-
Shrek : So... what did Fiona say about me?
Donkey : Ah, what're you asking me for? Why don't you go and ask her!
Shrek : The wedding! We'll never make it in time!
Donkey : Ha-ha-ha! Never fear! Where there's a will, there's a way. And I have a way.
[blows a whistle, and Dragon appears in the sky; an overjoyed Shrek grabs Donkey and cuddles him]
Donkey : All right, all right, that's enough. No one likes a kiss-ass.
-
Shrek : Donkey? What are you doing?
Donkey : [gathering branches] I would think YOU of all people would recognize a wall when you saw one!
Shrek : Well, yeah... but the wall's supposed to go AROUND my swamp, not through it!
Donkey : It is around your swamp! That's your half and this's mine!
Shrek : Oh, your half! Hmmm!
Donkey : Yes, MY half! I helped rescue the Princess! I did half the work, I get half the booty! Now hand over that big rock, the one that looks like your head!
-
Donkey : Oh, now I really see what's going on...
Shrek : I don't know what you're talking about...
Donkey : Hey, I don't even wanna hear... Look, I'm an animal, I got instincts, and I know you two were diggin' on each other!
Shrek : Oh, you're crazy! I'm just bringing her back to Farquaad!
Donkey : Oh, come on, Shrek, wake up and smell the pheromones! Just go in there and tell her you how you feel!
Shrek : Arrgh! There's nothing to tell! Even if I DID have... I'm not saying I am, 'cause I don't... she's a princess! And I'm...
Donkey : An ogre?
Shrek : Yeah. An ogre.
[walks away]
Donkey : Where're you going?
Shrek : To get... more firewood.
[Donkey looks askance at a full pile of firewood]
-
Donkey : I just know, before this is over, I'm gonna need a whole lot of serious therapy. Look at my eye twitchin'.
-
Princess Fiona : Shrek? I'm... I'm worried about Donkey, he doesn't look so good...
Donkey : What you talking about? I feel fine!
Princess Fiona : Well, that's what they always say, and then, and then, and then next thing you know you're on your back!
[Donkey leers at Fiona]
Princess Fiona : ...Dead!
-
The Donkey : Wait a minute, I know what's going on. You're afraid of the dark.
Princess Fiona : Why... yes!
The Donkey : Don't worry, princess. I used to be afraid of the dark until... No, wait. I'm still afraid of the dark.
-
The Donkey : [waking up] Uh... What'd I miss? What'd I miss?
[suddenly notices the guards walking by]
The Donkey : [trying to throw his voice] Who said that? Couldn't have been the donkey.
-
[staring up at the starry night]
Shrek : [pointing at a constellation] ... and that one, that's Throwback, the only ogre to spit over three wheat fields.
Donkey : Okay, I see it. Hey, Shrek, can you tell my future from these stars?
Shrek : Well, the stars don't tell the future, Donkey, they tell stories. That one is Bloodnok, the Flatulent. You can guess what HE's famous for...
Donkey : Okay, now I know you're making that up!
Shrek : [pointing] No! See, that's him, and this is the group of hunters running away from his stench.
Donkey : Man, that ain't nothing but a bunch of little dots.
Shrek : You know, Donkey, things are more than what they seem, hmm?... Forget it.
-
Donkey : [after he and Shrek arrives at his house, he looks at stay out signs] I guess you don't entertain much, do you?
Shrek : I like my privacy.
Donkey : You know, I do too. That's another thing we have in common. Like I hate it when you got somebody in your face. You'retrying to give them a hint, and they won't leave. And there's that big awkward silence you know?
[Shrek turns around to Donkey]
Donkey : Can I stay with you?
Shrek : What?
Donkey : Can I stay with you? Please?
Shrek : Of course!
Donkey : Really?
Shrek : No.
Donkey : [pushes Shrek against the door] Please! I don't wanna go back there! You don't know what it's like to be considered a freak. Well, maybe you do. But that's why we gotta stick together. You gotta let me stay! Please! Please!
Shrek : Okay! Okay!
[opens the door]
Shrek : But one night only.
Donkey : [runs in his house] Ah! Thank you!
[hops up on his chair]
Donkey : This is gonna be fun! We can stay up late, swappin' manly stories, and in the mornin'... I'm makin' waffles.
[Shrek angrily groans]
Donkey : Where do, uh, I sleep?
Shrek : [irritated] OUTSIDE!
Donkey : [starts walking outside] Oh, well, I guess that's cool. I mean, I don't know you, and you don't know me, so I guess outside is best, you know. Here I go. Good night.
[Shrek slams the door]
Donkey : I mean, I do like the outdoors. I'm a donkey. I was born outside. I'll just be sitting by myself outside, I guess, you know. By myself, outside.
[starts singing]
Donkey : I'm all alone... there's no one here beside me...
-
[At the slop, Fiona slides down and she is happy about being rescued]
Princess Fiona : You did it! You rescued me! You're amazing. You're... You're wonderful. You're...
[turns and sees Shrek fall down the slop and bump into Donkey]
Princess Fiona : A little unorthodox, I'll admit. But thy deed is great, and thine heart is pure. I am eternally in your debt.
[Donkey clears his throat]
Princess Fiona : And where would a brave knight be without his noble steed?
Donkey : All right, I hope you heard that. She called me a noble steed. She think I'm a steed.
-
Donkey : What's the point of being able to talk if you gotta keep secrets?
-
Donkey : Please don't turn me in. I'll never be stubborn again. I can change. PLEASE! Give me another chance!
Old Woman : Oh, shut up.
[she slaps him]
Donkey : Oh!
Captain of Guards : Next!
