Simon Birch (1998)

Joseph Mazzello: Joe Wenteworth

Photos 

Quotes 

• Simon : Your mother is so sexy, sometimes I forget she's someone's mother.

  Joe : What if I said the same thing about your mother?

  Simon : I'd have you committed.

• Simon : I've been thinking.

  Joe : Yeah?

  Simon : Last year we were in the squirt league, and this year we're in the pewee.

  Joe : So?

  Simon : So what do they want us to do, play baseball or urinate? Anyway, I was just thinking.

• Joe : My balls just turned to prunes!

  Simon : My balls just turned to raisins!

• Joe : Hey, your son is not a screw up, he's a hero.

  Mr. Birch : What?

  Joe : I said he's a hero. And you don't deserve him. I want you to know that.

• Joe : I have faith. I just need proof to back it up.

• Simon : She's so sexy that sometimes I forget she's someone's mother.

  Joe : Well, what if I said the same thing about your mother?

  Simon : I'd have you committed.

• Joe : Jesus, Simon, you look like shit.

• Simon : I'm a miracle you know.

  Joe : Yeah, yeah, yeah.