Happy New Year, Charlie Brown (1986 TV Short)

Jeremy Miller: Linus van Pelt

Quotes 

• Linus van Pelt : Hurry up, Charlie Brown, we'll be late for school.

  [he and Charlie Brown get on their way, with Charlie yawning after finishing "War and Peace"] 

  Linus van Pelt : Did you finish "War and Peace", Charlie Brown?

  Charlie Brown : I finished at 3 o'clock this morning.

  Linus van Pelt : How did you like it, Charlie Brown?

  Charlie Brown : I don't remember a thing.

• [last lines] 

  Linus van Pelt : Did you turn in your report?

  Charlie Brown : [aghast]  Yes.

  Linus van Pelt : What did the teacher say about it? What grade did you get?

  Charlie Brown : A D minus - the lowest grade without failing.

  Linus van Pelt : Gee, I'm sorry, Charlie Brown.

  Charlie Brown : The teacher said it looked like the sort of report that was written after midnight on the last day of Christmas vacation.

  Linus van Pelt : What did you say?

  Charlie Brown : What *could* I say? I congratulated her on her remarkable insight.

  Linus van Pelt : Did you see what our next assignment is?

  Charlie Brown : [lightens up]  No! What is it?

  Linus van Pelt : To read "Crime and Punishment" by Dostoevsky.

  [Charlie Brown faints off his desk] 

  Linus van Pelt : Happy New Year, Charlie Brown.

• Sally Brown : [on the phone with Linus]  If you don't ask me to the party, I'll just go with someone else.

  Linus van Pelt : Good. Go with someone else.

• Linus van Pelt : Gee, Charlie Brown, I didn't know where you went. But wow, your friend is sure a good dancer!

  Charlie Brown : You mean *she* was *here*? The Little Red-Haired Girl was here? And I missed her?

• Linus van Pelt : When Leo Tolstoy was writing "War and Peace", his wife, Sonya, copied it for him seven times. And she did it by *candlelight*, *and* with a dip pen. And sometimes, she had to use a magnifying glass to make out what he had written.

  Charlie Brown : Linus, I really...

  Linus van Pelt : Had to do it after their child had been put to bed, and the servants had gone to their garrets, and it was quiet in the house. Just think, Charlie Brown: she wrote the book seven times with a dip pen. And you're telling me you can't even read it once?

• Linus van Pelt : [to the Little Red-Haired Girl]  Oh, hi. You're Heather, aren't you? Please come in. Charlie Brown told me he had invited you to the party. I don't know where Charlie Brown is right now, but would you like to dance?

• Lucy van Pelt : Boy, we were just with Marcie. There's gonna be a great New Year's party!

  Sally Brown : It's boy-ask-girl, and I just know my sweet babboo will ask me.

  Linus van Pelt : I am not your sweet babboo, and I wouldn't invite you to a chicken race!

  Sally Brown : Isn't he the cutest thing?

  Lucy van Pelt : And I expect a certain piano player to ask *me*.

  Charlie Brown : But I've got this book report to do.

  Lucy van Pelt : I'm enrolling us in a dance class. A New Year's party is not a party without lots of dancing.

• Linus van Pelt : How are you doing with "War and Peace", Charlie Brown?

  Charlie Brown : I've just finished reading the dust jacket.

  Linus van Pelt : Many is the book report that has been written by just reading the dust jacket.

• Sally Brown : I wonder when my sweet babboo is going to ask me to the party?

  Linus van Pelt : I'm not your sweet babboo, and I wouldn't invite you to a *ga-rage* sale!

  Sally Brown : Isn't he the cutest thing?

• Charlie Brown : I've written an invitation to the Little Red-Haired Girl. I was afraid to call her. It's too late to mail it, so I thought I'd take it to her house, but I'm worried.

  Linus van Pelt : Why? All you have to do is slip the letter into the mail slot in the front door of the house.

  Charlie Brown : But what if my hand gets caught in the mail slot?

  Linus van Pelt : That's ridiculous, Charlie Brown!

  Charlie Brown : Well then, what if my hand gets caught in the mail slot, and while I'm hanging there, someone opens the door?

  Linus van Pelt : Charlie Brown, you worry about the most impossible things.