This has got to be the worst film of the new millenium, demonstrating loads of miserable acting, spontaneous boob- and sexshots with no meaning whatsoever and a script treat so bad it almost hurts. Best thing about the movie: It's not very long...
16 Reviews
yes, it's pretty bad, but has some nice aprons
ethylester27 August 2002
A bad movie. The coroner thinks he's "World's Greatest Chef", then a god then he thinks he's "SuperDad". This guy has some funny aprons. Besides the aprons that are being worn by a naked overweight gentleman who is not the least bit attractive, this movie is not very amusing. The lawyer woman looks more like a kindergarten teacher or maybe a babysitter and she has a really awful sex scene where she flings her hair around and arches her back and it makes her looks really stupid. Who acts like that when they have sex? I just don't understand the whole head-flinging thing. anyway, the coroner goes after women who have tried to slit their wrists in the past. He thinks they were "Teasing" him by acting like they were gonna die when they actually survived. So he kills them so he doesn't have to go through the agony of waiting for them to die naturally. It's an ok idea, but it's not played out very well. I really hate lawyer movies.
Low quality 90's slasher
Red-Barracuda30 August 2021
In this 90's slasher film a demented coroner is responsible for a series of murders of young women. All the victims are suicide attempt survivors because the coroner wants to 'recreate their moment of denial'. Or something.
Opening with scenes in a strip club with a great deal of gratuitous boob action, it has to be said, the film starts out at least entertainingly. But it isn't long before its story kicks in and things go downhill. The serial killer angle is half-hearted at best and there isn't really even much in the way of horror violence to perk things up either. What we are left with is a very cheap looking production with a tinny 90's soundtrack. Pretty clearly a bargain basement example of a serial killer movie with little in it to recommend. Perhaps its main factor of note nowadays is that its director went under the infamous alias 'Alan Smithee' which was used by film directors to hide their identities when the film they were involved with turned out embarassingly bad - this method of subterfuge went out the window with the advent of the internet age, given that there was no longer any hiding place. As a consequence, The Coroner was one of the last films Mr Smithee ever made.
Opening with scenes in a strip club with a great deal of gratuitous boob action, it has to be said, the film starts out at least entertainingly. But it isn't long before its story kicks in and things go downhill. The serial killer angle is half-hearted at best and there isn't really even much in the way of horror violence to perk things up either. What we are left with is a very cheap looking production with a tinny 90's soundtrack. Pretty clearly a bargain basement example of a serial killer movie with little in it to recommend. Perhaps its main factor of note nowadays is that its director went under the infamous alias 'Alan Smithee' which was used by film directors to hide their identities when the film they were involved with turned out embarassingly bad - this method of subterfuge went out the window with the advent of the internet age, given that there was no longer any hiding place. As a consequence, The Coroner was one of the last films Mr Smithee ever made.
i rewound the blowgun dart scene 6 times
swykk28 June 2001
all i can say is that i have a problem, an addiction, if you will. and that addiction is to horrible movies like this (see my reviews for rock n roll nightmare and rocktober blood). the way i see it, being addicted to trash like this is much better than being addicted to other more dangerous things, i saw the coroner and yes, i laughed until i cried. or maybe i cried until i laughed...it's really neither here nor there.
there's a strip club opener, which is always cause for alarm because if a movie like this puts nudity right at the start, then you are probably in for it. knowing this, i pressed onward ascertaining that i have seen much much worse. then, there's salvation. you see, the killer/coroner uses a blowgun to capture his latest victim, the lawyer who tried to have him put away. i can't possibly describe how funny this scene is...just watch it...and rewind it...and rewind it again 6 times. this is all i really remember about the coroner other than the cliche' finish, which i will let you see for yourself. i was just happy to have spent $1.50 (me and a buddy went halfsies) on a film that made me laugh harder than i had since....well...rock n roll nightmare.
rating- 2 out of 10 because it still was like an hour and 20 minutes for just one really really good 3 minute scene. i recommend you go into the coroner with a friend or many friends that way maybe you could only end up paying like 50 cents each for the rental. i didn't mind paying $1.50 mind you, but a dollar is a dollar.
there's a strip club opener, which is always cause for alarm because if a movie like this puts nudity right at the start, then you are probably in for it. knowing this, i pressed onward ascertaining that i have seen much much worse. then, there's salvation. you see, the killer/coroner uses a blowgun to capture his latest victim, the lawyer who tried to have him put away. i can't possibly describe how funny this scene is...just watch it...and rewind it...and rewind it again 6 times. this is all i really remember about the coroner other than the cliche' finish, which i will let you see for yourself. i was just happy to have spent $1.50 (me and a buddy went halfsies) on a film that made me laugh harder than i had since....well...rock n roll nightmare.
rating- 2 out of 10 because it still was like an hour and 20 minutes for just one really really good 3 minute scene. i recommend you go into the coroner with a friend or many friends that way maybe you could only end up paying like 50 cents each for the rental. i didn't mind paying $1.50 mind you, but a dollar is a dollar.
The Coroner Is A Waste Of Film
CitizenCaine20 December 2003
Warning: Spoilers
The Coroner is easily one of the worst and cheapest horror movies ever made. The asinine plot involves a coroner that stalks and kills young women, who are previously unsuccessful suicides. The actor playing the coroner, Dean St. Louis, has acted in nothing else before or since this insipid piece of garbage. He gets full credit here. The writer, Geralyn Ruane, has written nothing else before or since this either. I'm surely surprised. The film was directed by no less than 3 directors; the directors' chairs probably cost more than the rest of this film. Juan Mas has not directed anything since this mess. Maybe he should change his name to No Mas. Our good friend Alan Smithee also had a hand in directing this film as well. Alan Smithee, of course, is the pseudonym for directors that want their name removed from a film's credits. A smart guy THIS Alan Smithee; maybe he or she is still working. One of the highlights of the film is the coroner's aprons, which are funny and the low costume budget probably makes necessary; because, who would believe that the script would intentionally call for this overweight middle aged guy to stand bare ass to the camera with an apron on? He's not going to be baking any cookies. Another scene has our lawyer "heroine" (and I use heroine very loosely here) handcuffed in what looks like a high school cheerleader outfit. Can we have just one sick fantasy at a time? What more can you expect from someone that has produced titles such as The Crazysitter and Leprechaun In The Hood? What I can not believe is that this, according to IMDb, was not released directly to video. What kind of theater would show this trash, besides one with a bed sheet hanging from clothespins in Joe Bob's backyard? 0 of 4 stars.
Oh the horror...
lowdowndeeper10 August 2004
...this is it! This is the worst film I've ever seen. So I HAVE to show it to everyone else which means I've sat through this terribly awful and mind-numbingly stupid goreless 90's piece of waste sleaze flick! Forget "Plan 9", - this is it! Everything is awful - the acting, the dialouge, the plot (what plot?), you name it! But in a weird way it's almost like a surreal comedy (why would a demented and woman-hating coroner who looks like a balding car salesman wear silly aprons?) This is just one of the (stupid, stupid) questions left in your mind after THE CORONER clocks in at about 70 minutes. But hey, you only live once and it's a short one - so go on - see for your selves!
What?
lowdowndeeper18 August 2004
If you enjoy:
Aprons Blowdart Stapler torture A severed finger (or is it just momentarily gone?) No plot whatsoever (with crappy sex scenes included) A very "funny" un-villain looking villain
Then perhaps this sleazy gore-less "film" is something you'd like. I didn't. And I never will.
1 out of 10!
Aprons Blowdart Stapler torture A severed finger (or is it just momentarily gone?) No plot whatsoever (with crappy sex scenes included) A very "funny" un-villain looking villain
Then perhaps this sleazy gore-less "film" is something you'd like. I didn't. And I never will.
1 out of 10!
Awful, plain & simple.
poolandrews7 February 2006
Warning: Spoilers
The Coroner starts in a strip-club as the various silicone enhanced girls go about their business. One such girl named Holly has finished for the night, as she walks to her car she is attacked & murdered. Emma (Jane Longenecker) is a high profile lawyer who defends the needy including prostitutes like her friend Nadine (Christine Burke) who also becomes a victim of the unknown serial killer. While out jogging Emma is kidnapped & tortured by Dr. Leon Uraski (Dean St. Louis), the serial killer himself. Emma manages to escape & tells the police but they refuse to believe her when they discover that she is accusing the state coroner. Everyone thinks Emma made it up so she decides to take the law into her own hands & turn the tables on Uraski...
Directed by Brian Katkin who also edited it, Juan A. Mas & the dreaded Alan Smithee (a pseudonym chosen by a director who doesn't want his/her name on the credits) The Coroner is an absolutely awful film, it's as simple & straight forward as that. The script by Geralyn Ruane is crap, it's slow, deeply uninteresting, unentertaining & a complete waste of 90 odd minutes of my, your or indeed anyone's life. I don't want to even think about this thing anymore, the character's are poor, things happen very abruptly, it's all very choppy & at the end of the day very unsatisfying in any way. The only mildly original aspect to The Corner is that he chooses his victims because they had attempted to commit suicide & he feels cheated out of performing their autopsies, this basic yet intriguing idea has potential but it isn't used to any great effectiveness & it appears that virtually every other person has attempted suicide.
Directors Katkin, Mas & Smithee do nothing to to ease the pain of watching The Coroner as it's poorly made & has no real redeeming features. Large chunks of other films by the same production company are included, for instance Slumber Party Massacre (1982) & it's sequels as well as other's. There isn't much blood or gore apart from some dead bodies & blood.
Technically the film is poor, whenever Emma has to talk to her secretary it's always in a car park. The cinematography is of camcorder quality & as a whole it's a badly made film throughout. The acting is also of a very low calibre.
The Coroner is a rubbish film, it has no real entertainment value & all the bad reviews are true including mine. I wonder who 'Alan Smithee' actually is, at least there's a slim chance he/she might still be working.
Directed by Brian Katkin who also edited it, Juan A. Mas & the dreaded Alan Smithee (a pseudonym chosen by a director who doesn't want his/her name on the credits) The Coroner is an absolutely awful film, it's as simple & straight forward as that. The script by Geralyn Ruane is crap, it's slow, deeply uninteresting, unentertaining & a complete waste of 90 odd minutes of my, your or indeed anyone's life. I don't want to even think about this thing anymore, the character's are poor, things happen very abruptly, it's all very choppy & at the end of the day very unsatisfying in any way. The only mildly original aspect to The Corner is that he chooses his victims because they had attempted to commit suicide & he feels cheated out of performing their autopsies, this basic yet intriguing idea has potential but it isn't used to any great effectiveness & it appears that virtually every other person has attempted suicide.
Directors Katkin, Mas & Smithee do nothing to to ease the pain of watching The Coroner as it's poorly made & has no real redeeming features. Large chunks of other films by the same production company are included, for instance Slumber Party Massacre (1982) & it's sequels as well as other's. There isn't much blood or gore apart from some dead bodies & blood.
Technically the film is poor, whenever Emma has to talk to her secretary it's always in a car park. The cinematography is of camcorder quality & as a whole it's a badly made film throughout. The acting is also of a very low calibre.
The Coroner is a rubbish film, it has no real entertainment value & all the bad reviews are true including mine. I wonder who 'Alan Smithee' actually is, at least there's a slim chance he/she might still be working.
A Self-Autopsy Is Less Painful Than Watching This Trash!
Zantara Xenophobe26 March 2001
Warning: Spoilers
This is the type of film that should come with a surgeon general's warning on the cover of the movie box indicating that watching the film inside could be hazardous to your health! With a few exceptions, I have never, ever sat through anything so turgid and stupid in my life. Sure, there's the horrible horror movies such as `Bloody Murder,' `Nail Gun Massacre,' and `The Last Slumber Party,' but even they are somewhat consistent with their plot. `The Coroner' doesn't follow its base plan at all. But let me try to get to that in the next paragraph. First let me say that there are some SPOILERS in the rest of this review, and you should not read on if you don't want some minor details ruined for you if you see this movie.
The movie opens in a strip club. Naturally, you'd expect a strip club to be filled with doctors with scalpels to supply people with unnatural body parts, but you wouldn't suspect a coroner to be there, would you? I didn't, and skipped this part, thinking it was a preview from another movie. When I realized it was the beginning, I knew I was in for a bad ride. Our title character is of course a serial killer, which we find out in the next scene with a close-up of a newspaper. You see, they didn't really show the `murder' in the previous scene probably because they had no budget. We then shift gears to our central character, played by Jane Longnecker. .and don't expect that name to be reaching the big screen any time soon. She's a criminal defense attorney that looks as if she just graduated from junior high school. See, she defends criminal scum, and it is supposed to be totally ironic when out serial killer targets her. Using a blow dart, the killer kidnaps her and straps her in his basement where he plans to torture and then kill her. For all you strange people that eat up that stuff, they don't do any of that. For the next, oh, ten minutes, our heroine escapes from the killer, is captured, escapes, is captured, and then finally escapes for good. We could have ended the movie sooner had the police (acting way out of procedure) believed her story, but they don't because the suspect is the kindly coroner. So the lawyer decides to kidnap him and give him the same treatment. Problem is, she keeps screwing it up, forcing us to sit through more of the film than we should. In the meantime, the coroner picks up a woman he sees strip and seduce her very young boss. This scene is pointless, as we don't see what happens to this woman and she is never mentioned later. Of course, all the characters are pointless: there's the heroine's boyfriend who is an idiot that could have been left out, the mindless cops, a secretary to the heroine that serves no function, and a prosecutor that doesn't know whose side to take. Even our villain is wasted, as he doesn't do anything special, and his title profession is never even touched upon. He never uses a coroner's tools, works in the lab, or dresses up like he does on the box (and the guy on the box is definitely not the guy in the movie).
Now before you start pumping out creative juices and wonder about all the crafty things the filmmakers did, let me tell you to stop. Don't bother thinking about how a coroner would kill someone because you won't see him kill a soul. Don't think about the creative way in which he might get killed by the lawyer because there is nothing creative about the end. Don't, like I did, think that the director will throw in a creative twist to explain the lack of evidence the lawyer has on the coroner, like my theory that there was a twin brother, because there is no clever twist. And don't think that you will have a good time, because you most certainly will not. Thankfully, the film is only about 75 minutes long, and you will also be skipping a lot of bad and pointless scenes in order to find something relevant and good. You'll be wasting your time, because there are no relevant or good scenes. Instead, I recommend you practice being a real coroner. Dissect the video tape, remove the contents, throw the garbage away, and prepare what's left for permanent burial. Zantara's score: 1 out of 10, because there is nothing lower to rate it.
The movie opens in a strip club. Naturally, you'd expect a strip club to be filled with doctors with scalpels to supply people with unnatural body parts, but you wouldn't suspect a coroner to be there, would you? I didn't, and skipped this part, thinking it was a preview from another movie. When I realized it was the beginning, I knew I was in for a bad ride. Our title character is of course a serial killer, which we find out in the next scene with a close-up of a newspaper. You see, they didn't really show the `murder' in the previous scene probably because they had no budget. We then shift gears to our central character, played by Jane Longnecker. .and don't expect that name to be reaching the big screen any time soon. She's a criminal defense attorney that looks as if she just graduated from junior high school. See, she defends criminal scum, and it is supposed to be totally ironic when out serial killer targets her. Using a blow dart, the killer kidnaps her and straps her in his basement where he plans to torture and then kill her. For all you strange people that eat up that stuff, they don't do any of that. For the next, oh, ten minutes, our heroine escapes from the killer, is captured, escapes, is captured, and then finally escapes for good. We could have ended the movie sooner had the police (acting way out of procedure) believed her story, but they don't because the suspect is the kindly coroner. So the lawyer decides to kidnap him and give him the same treatment. Problem is, she keeps screwing it up, forcing us to sit through more of the film than we should. In the meantime, the coroner picks up a woman he sees strip and seduce her very young boss. This scene is pointless, as we don't see what happens to this woman and she is never mentioned later. Of course, all the characters are pointless: there's the heroine's boyfriend who is an idiot that could have been left out, the mindless cops, a secretary to the heroine that serves no function, and a prosecutor that doesn't know whose side to take. Even our villain is wasted, as he doesn't do anything special, and his title profession is never even touched upon. He never uses a coroner's tools, works in the lab, or dresses up like he does on the box (and the guy on the box is definitely not the guy in the movie).
Now before you start pumping out creative juices and wonder about all the crafty things the filmmakers did, let me tell you to stop. Don't bother thinking about how a coroner would kill someone because you won't see him kill a soul. Don't think about the creative way in which he might get killed by the lawyer because there is nothing creative about the end. Don't, like I did, think that the director will throw in a creative twist to explain the lack of evidence the lawyer has on the coroner, like my theory that there was a twin brother, because there is no clever twist. And don't think that you will have a good time, because you most certainly will not. Thankfully, the film is only about 75 minutes long, and you will also be skipping a lot of bad and pointless scenes in order to find something relevant and good. You'll be wasting your time, because there are no relevant or good scenes. Instead, I recommend you practice being a real coroner. Dissect the video tape, remove the contents, throw the garbage away, and prepare what's left for permanent burial. Zantara's score: 1 out of 10, because there is nothing lower to rate it.
Who says you need a budget to make a movie?
TBJCSKCNRRQTreviews14 May 2012
This opens in a strip joint, with several bare pairs of breasts, just when you thought it might turn out to have class. The titular coroner, Leon Uraski(Dean St. Louis who gives it his all both when psychotic and when pretending to be innocent), kills young, attractive women who've tried to commit suicide. One night, he traps and tortures Emma(Jane Longenecker), the unconventional lawyer, but she may just prove to be in excess of what he can handle. Can she take him down, and how(maybe with her martial arts training, that doesn't at all look choreographed and underpracticed?)? And is she certain that he's the one, and that she isn't losing her mind? That one aspect not only shifts this the rest of the way towards being a psychological thriller than a horror(it was already far away from that, with its gore, blood and deaths few and far between, and how much we see the villain as opposed to his victims), it's the only potentially interesting element(and the decent ending does live up to that somewhat, though it could have been more ambiguous). At 70 minutes(not counting the short closing credits), it's unsettling just how much this needs to stretch its nothing of a plot to fill that time. Characters are introduced to be fodder or foils... and to add sex scenes(complete with complete female nudity), because with this little violence, that's the only common denominator left they can use to keep our attention. Did I mention our leading lady spends the majority of this in a short skirt, at times downright wearing a school girl uniform? The sad thing is that it's just not quite crap enough to be fun. Acting, writing, dialog, it's all rather inferior. The way this is shot screams direct-to-DVD, and the editing is sophomoric(you can show us those "grisly" images as many times as you want, since we have no connection to the dead bodies, it never increases the intensity). I feel the music in this would have benefited from them checking if there were disgruntled cats in the studio before recording. I recommend this solely to fans of B-movies. 1/10
B-movie at it's finest
vinylsoul3112 August 2007
Warning: Spoilers
I've been reading some of the other reviews, and I've got to say I kinda like this movie. It's not great cinema by any means. But it is a fun little cheap movie. Some of these people say how they love B-movies and how this is so terrible. If you really love B-movies, you should like this as well. Bad sets, bad cinematography, nudity, all that's missing is the gore. Don't get me wrong, there are a whole lot better b-movies out there. But this one isn't all bad. I mean it's bad, but in a good way. At least it's not boring, which is the worst thing a movie can be. It reminds me of the movies I used to watch on USA's Up All Night. They were always terribly acted, low budget, horrible plot movies, that I really enjoyed. And that was even with the nudity cut out. But here, on the DVD I bought for 3.00, It's all there to enjoy. I say It's worth watching. Even if only to pick apart and make fun of.
Confusing, yet amusing (somehow I saw this coming).
Breambutt24 May 2004
Absurdity at it's finest form - where else could you see a bald-headed middle-aged horizontally challenged man debuting in a lead role and even get to see his naked butt? Fans of B-movies and people who receive pleasure in pain: pay heed to this movie or regret the rest of your life.
Personally I have a tad of twisted tendencies towards the latter one of the aforementioned - mental sadomasochism - and probably not very surprisingly does my DVD shelf consist of not only bad movies but also movies that are hauntingly awful in the vain of The Coroner. Yes, there is a thin line between a bad movie and a movie that is bad in a good manner. No, The Coroner isn't a good-bad, it's plain bad, and no, I haven't been on drugs while handing over my credit card to the video store clerk when buying this film - consider this flaw of mine as an extremely entertaining fixation.
Like said, one should never underestimate the mindlessness of nonexistent requirements for a film to be released and actually distributed throughout the world. I think a plot around a chief coroner illusioning himself as the right hand of God mutilating women who have attempted suicide yet survived, cynical policemen who almost laugh at crime victims' face and a couple of lawyers trying to track down a mass murderer makes out a very decent mixture that is - quite unfortunately - mostly digestible only to a very small audience.
Nevertheless, I can't imagine anyone not liking this movie. People who don't worship bad movies just simply leave this kind of flicks in the cut-out bin for a loving family to pick them up, simple as that. Surely no sane person could possibly think that The Coroner would actually possess any potential for a horror/thriller movie to be taken seriously, for even the cover is so grotesque that it would freak the living crap out of no less than the Beast of Yucca Flats himself.
I really wonder how they managed to get this one on DVD with all the random gratuitous breast shots in the opening scene, intro credits with a musical piece that would make Danny Elfman turn in his, well, armchair etc., but I'm glad they did, because the infamous blowdart scene is truly one of the most confusing moments I've ever seen on screen and the VCR couldn't auto-repeat these disturbingly amusing seconds. I was with my buddies when I first saw this film and I imagine we all stared like retards jaws open wide with a wonderful "What in the world?" look on our faces, and having read another review of the movie afterwards I think that's exactly what will happen to anyone who dares to see The Coroner without proper preparation (though in that case the glamour would have been already taken away from you and the whole film would seem like a mindless and dull low budget production).
Enough of the blabbering, go see it yourself if you're stupid (or drunk) enough. All in all rather entertaining experience, but not to be viewed alone: make sure you can share the tears of laughter caused by the unintended comicality.
Personally I have a tad of twisted tendencies towards the latter one of the aforementioned - mental sadomasochism - and probably not very surprisingly does my DVD shelf consist of not only bad movies but also movies that are hauntingly awful in the vain of The Coroner. Yes, there is a thin line between a bad movie and a movie that is bad in a good manner. No, The Coroner isn't a good-bad, it's plain bad, and no, I haven't been on drugs while handing over my credit card to the video store clerk when buying this film - consider this flaw of mine as an extremely entertaining fixation.
Like said, one should never underestimate the mindlessness of nonexistent requirements for a film to be released and actually distributed throughout the world. I think a plot around a chief coroner illusioning himself as the right hand of God mutilating women who have attempted suicide yet survived, cynical policemen who almost laugh at crime victims' face and a couple of lawyers trying to track down a mass murderer makes out a very decent mixture that is - quite unfortunately - mostly digestible only to a very small audience.
Nevertheless, I can't imagine anyone not liking this movie. People who don't worship bad movies just simply leave this kind of flicks in the cut-out bin for a loving family to pick them up, simple as that. Surely no sane person could possibly think that The Coroner would actually possess any potential for a horror/thriller movie to be taken seriously, for even the cover is so grotesque that it would freak the living crap out of no less than the Beast of Yucca Flats himself.
I really wonder how they managed to get this one on DVD with all the random gratuitous breast shots in the opening scene, intro credits with a musical piece that would make Danny Elfman turn in his, well, armchair etc., but I'm glad they did, because the infamous blowdart scene is truly one of the most confusing moments I've ever seen on screen and the VCR couldn't auto-repeat these disturbingly amusing seconds. I was with my buddies when I first saw this film and I imagine we all stared like retards jaws open wide with a wonderful "What in the world?" look on our faces, and having read another review of the movie afterwards I think that's exactly what will happen to anyone who dares to see The Coroner without proper preparation (though in that case the glamour would have been already taken away from you and the whole film would seem like a mindless and dull low budget production).
Enough of the blabbering, go see it yourself if you're stupid (or drunk) enough. All in all rather entertaining experience, but not to be viewed alone: make sure you can share the tears of laughter caused by the unintended comicality.
I thought it was fantastic
steamrunner6 February 2001
I must say that I am a little biased on this review as I heard about the production of this film from Dean St.Louis (Dr.Leon Urasky)three years ago and have wanted to see it ever since. Dean and I went to High School together and when I came back from Japan he related the story of the film but he said he lost his only copy and that it was 'in the can' never to be seen due to production issues at the studio (whole different story). So my other High School buddy Mike a mutual friend calls me last night and says I have to come to his house to watch his new DVD and that Dean was coming as well so we settled down in the basking glow of Mike's 52" TV and the movie The Coroner started and Dean almost vomited and I broke a rib laughing, finally I got to see the movie. The very first scene in the strip club was not Dean and I say he missed the best part of the shoot. This film is terrible but it was fun to hear Dean's commentary too bad it's not on the DVD so cut him some slack he got no direction what so ever and he's a theater actor and this was his first movie, how many of you have their name on a DVD as a lead actor? He doesn't get any royalties from this thing, too bad for him. So just rent it and if your local video store doesn't have it tell them to get it, it's just fun to watch.
Dead On Arrival
NoDakTatum19 November 2023
Warning: Spoilers
"The Coroner" has placed itself on the much heralded list of worst films I have ever witnessed. I am fighting the urge to end every plot summary sentence with a (!) because it is unbelievable to me that someone actually thought this up. This review contains spoilers, but do not let that stop you from skimming and deciding this would not be a good time. Emma (Jane Longnecker) is a tough-as-nails public defender in the San Francisco area. She frees prostitutes like Nadine (Christine Burke) and tries to get them to turn their lives around. Emma has a boyfriend named George (David Aimerito), a Kenny G clone. There is also a string of serial murders in the Bay Area, Nadine is offed, and Emma takes some vacation time to solve the crime. Little does she know the killer is targeting her as his next victim. Using a blow dart gun, Emma is kidnapped by Leon (Dean St. Louis) and held in his basement, where he keeps assorted medical examiner instrumentation. Leon is nuts, Emma stabs him and escapes, she is recaptured, Leon is nuts, Emma escapes again, and runs out in traffic and is hit by a car. In the hospital, Emma is sedated, but is released and returns to the house with Detectives Manley (Bob McFarland) and Striker (Robert J. Pouliot). No one believes Emma, even with a severed finger, and they discover Leon is none other than the local city's coroner. He covers up his crimes because he does the autopsies! The detectives poo-poo her story, and this video poo-poo'ed my VCR. Emma then goes to the jerk district attorney Flossman (Eric B. Gerleman) for help as Leon keeps kidnapping and killing. Since the basement where Emma was kept could not be found, Emma goes to Leon's and uses a bomb to blow a hole in the house for evidence (!- allow me this one). She breaks in, is arrested, and then turns the tables on Leon when she finally takes him captive in her basement.
The film wisely opens with a montage of strippers, always a good way to hook a viewer. The sex and nudity here are spaced throughout, so when the urge to shut the stupid thing off builds, skin is flashed; and like Pavlov's dog, we keep watching. Both Leon and Emma have flashbacks to other bloody murders which are in fact gory scenes from other horror films. The music soundtrack is not original, it also consists of clips from other films. The acting and editing are atrocious, as cheap set walls vibrate during action scenes. I think I could have funded this thing based on the contents of my wallet. The film is misogynistic, as no one believes Emma to the point of stupidity. Leon sees himself as god-like, trying to kill off suicide survivors, a lot of whom live in San Francisco, since he has no shortage of victims. The gore effects are standard, the suspense is nonexistent, and yet Roger Corman enjoys his stature as a respected film maker. "The Coroner" is usually in the bottom 10 rankings for horror films on film websites. It should be at the bottom of anyone's list, it is truly one of the most ridiculous things I have ever seen.
The film wisely opens with a montage of strippers, always a good way to hook a viewer. The sex and nudity here are spaced throughout, so when the urge to shut the stupid thing off builds, skin is flashed; and like Pavlov's dog, we keep watching. Both Leon and Emma have flashbacks to other bloody murders which are in fact gory scenes from other horror films. The music soundtrack is not original, it also consists of clips from other films. The acting and editing are atrocious, as cheap set walls vibrate during action scenes. I think I could have funded this thing based on the contents of my wallet. The film is misogynistic, as no one believes Emma to the point of stupidity. Leon sees himself as god-like, trying to kill off suicide survivors, a lot of whom live in San Francisco, since he has no shortage of victims. The gore effects are standard, the suspense is nonexistent, and yet Roger Corman enjoys his stature as a respected film maker. "The Coroner" is usually in the bottom 10 rankings for horror films on film websites. It should be at the bottom of anyone's list, it is truly one of the most ridiculous things I have ever seen.
The Famous Can Kill
TEXICAN-217 September 2000
Okay, as pointed out by the other writer, there are ALOT of flaws with this movie. There are ALOT of flaws in MANY movies, and I could spend the length of a book on just the ones that I know of. That point passed, this movie, serious or not, does make a serious statement: The rich and famous, even locally, can be given special treatment, and even overlooked or dismissed as suspect of a crime. Note the infamous Ramsey case which has been botched from the beginning, and instead of being the prime suspects, the heads of the house were not really investigated until the trail to the killer was dead cold. This movie gives you a look at this. A respected female lawyer, who was a victim of the Coroner/Serial Attacker, brings the police to his doorstep. Because they know him, they treat him like an old buddy, not a suspect, and try to get her out of the house rather than listen to her. They do not obtain a search warrant, they don't question his answers, in short, because of his status with the Coroner's Office, they immediately look the other way. Yes, it does have its flaws, but it does makes its statements. There plenty of movies that offer less, and even more that offer more. A viewable movie if you're in the mood to be angered over "special treatment", or laugh at a less than perfect flick. Have a couple of beers and enjoy.
Stay away as though your life depended on it!
seagis28 August 2000
Warning: Spoilers
This has got to be without a doubt, and I say this without an ounce of exaggeration or joking at all, the absolute WORST movie that I have EVER seen in my entire LIFE! I have seen better character development in a porno movie. The folks at MST3K wouldn't even touch this movie. Did I mention it's bad?
----- <minor spoiler follows> -----
To be specific, though: Jane Longnecker (is that her real name?) shows, along with each and every other member of the cast, just how bad of an actor you can be and still be able to get your face on film. The storyline is incoherent, and the ending looks like it was thrown together when they couldn't come up with anything else. No explanation is given to how Emma's STUDIO apartment could have a bomb shelter beneath it. You don't see the stairs or anything. All you see is the front door directly in front of the bed. She looks like she's staying at the local Holiday Inn. When she is out jogging, late at night, and for no apparent reason decides to go from the middle of the street to the sidewalk, she is hit with a blowdart by the serial killer/coroner, who then throws her in the passenger seat and then walks around and gets in the driver's side, where the door is ALREADY OPEN! Are you telling me she isn't going to see a fat man standing beside a tree with the driver's side door open when she's standing in the MIDDLE OF THE STREET? Geez.
As I said up above, stay away from this movie as though your life depended on it. I can only hope that this was meant to be a spoof, but regrettably I must say that I do not truly believe this to be the case.
----- <minor spoiler follows> -----
To be specific, though: Jane Longnecker (is that her real name?) shows, along with each and every other member of the cast, just how bad of an actor you can be and still be able to get your face on film. The storyline is incoherent, and the ending looks like it was thrown together when they couldn't come up with anything else. No explanation is given to how Emma's STUDIO apartment could have a bomb shelter beneath it. You don't see the stairs or anything. All you see is the front door directly in front of the bed. She looks like she's staying at the local Holiday Inn. When she is out jogging, late at night, and for no apparent reason decides to go from the middle of the street to the sidewalk, she is hit with a blowdart by the serial killer/coroner, who then throws her in the passenger seat and then walks around and gets in the driver's side, where the door is ALREADY OPEN! Are you telling me she isn't going to see a fat man standing beside a tree with the driver's side door open when she's standing in the MIDDLE OF THE STREET? Geez.
As I said up above, stay away from this movie as though your life depended on it. I can only hope that this was meant to be a spoof, but regrettably I must say that I do not truly believe this to be the case.
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