Vegas Vacation (1997)

Chevy Chase: Clark Griswold

Photos 

Quotes 

• Clark Griswold : [to his kids, played by the fourth different set of actors in as many "Vacation" movies]  You guys are growing up so fast, I hardly recognize you anymore!

• [Marty points to the Table Limit Sign $10 minimum] 

  Marty : Come on, Griswold, You think that sign is there to hold the table down?

  Clark Griswold : What can I do with five dollars?

  Marty : Gee, I don't know. Buy a bullet and rent a gun?

• Clark Griswold : Eddie, has anyone ever told you you're bad luck?

  Cousin Eddie : Those were my mother's dying words. But I guess if your body's covered in third degree burns, and your foot's caught in a bear trap, you tend to start talkin' crazy.

• Clark Griswold : Where the hell is the damn dam tour?

• Rusty : [trying to get Clark's attention]  Dad?

  Clark Griswold : In a minute Russ.

  [talking to Cousin Eddie] 

  Clark Griswold : You see the promise of material possesions can often blind one to...

  [Rusty taps Clark on the arm] 

  Clark Griswold : What is it, Russ?

  Rusty : Those four cars over there... they're mine.

  Clark Griswold : [surprised]  What do you mean they're... they're yours?

  Rusty : Yeah.

  Clark Griswold : [suspiciously]  Where did they come from, Russ?

  Rusty : Well, four slot machines and I won four cars. You know, I put a dollar in, I got a car. I put a dollar in, I got a car. I put a dollar in, I got a car. I put a dollar in, I got a car.

  Clark Griswold : I-I-I, okay, I think I get it. Give me the keys, please.

  [Rusty hands Clark all the car keys] 

  Clark Griswold : Okay! Ellen you drive the red one,

  [hands car keys to Ellen] 

  Clark Griswold : you take the white one,

  [hands car keys to Audrey] 

  Clark Griswold : you take the Mustang,

  [hands car keys to Rusty] 

  Clark Griswold : and I'll take that big, black thing over there. After you, Mr. Pappagiorgio!

• Clark Griswold : Eddie, I gambled away more money than you'll ever understand.

  Cousin Eddie : Try me.

  Clark Griswold : [whispering]  Twenty-two thousand eight hundred dollars.

  Cousin Eddie : [shouting]  Oh God! Oh God! Oh my shhhhooddd! Oh God! Oh my God!

• Cousin Eddie : I haven't seen a beatin' like that since somebody stuck a banana in my pants and turned a monkey loose.

  Clark Griswold : Thanks for the pick me up Eddie.

• Mirage Reception Person : Welcome to the Mirage. May I have your credit card, please?

  Clark Griswold : Yes, indeedy. Clark W. Griswold, four.

  Mirage Reception Person : You know, we have an excellent dry cleaning service here, if you're so inclined.

  Clark Griswold : Oh, uh? it's? it's a bbbirthmark.

  Mirage Reception Person : Uh-huh. Now in order to get to your rooms, you're going to have to go this way through the casino, veer to the left. Take a sharp right at the first giant palm tree. You'll see a group of blackjack tables. Not baccarat, not craps, blackjack. Keep going, then wind around to your left. If you get to the pool, you've gone too far, back up and take another right. You'll see a bank of elevators. Those aren't your elevators, stay away from them. But keep going, you'll see another bank of elevators, the gold elevators, those are yours. Take them up to the tenth floor, take a right at the end of the hall and you'll find your room. Any questions?

  Clark Griswold : Uh-uh-uh no not really. Russ!

  Rusty : Yeah, dad.

  Clark Griswold : Oh, there you are. Didja get that?

• Clark Griswold : [Clark and Ellen have found Audrey dancing at the Club Aereola]  Audrey! What are you doing? Ten years of tap dancing lessons and this is the way you repay us?

  Audrey Griswold : What? You told me to get a summer job!

• Rusty : Holy crap, Wayne Newton's hittin' on mom!

  Clark Griswold : It's all part of the act, Russ.

• [Clark is playing blackjack] 

  Clark Griswold : Twenty. I'll stay.

  Marty : [flips over his card]  Wha...? It's twenty. It's a push!

  Clark Griswold : I didn't lose!

  Marty : That's it, Griswold! You are freakin dead!

• Clark Griswold : *Ellen switches off the TV* Hard six coming out.

  Ellen Griswold : What?

  Clark Griswold : Hit me. *Ellen slaps him in the dark*

  Clark Griswold : Ow.

• Ellen Griswold : [Clark and Ellen have found Rusty in the hot tub]  Oh my Lord... Rusty!

  Girl in Hot Tub : Oh, you must be lost. This is Mr. Pappagiorgio.

  Clark Griswold : His name is not Pappagiorgio! His name is Rusty Griswold and he's a C+ student! Now out of the pool, let's go young man! Now!

  [Clark yanks Rusty out of the hot tub] 

• Wayne Newton : [to Clark, about Ellen]  Very special lady.

  Clark Griswold : That's why I entered into the sacred bond of marriage with her.

• Clark Griswold : [inside the sleezy casino]  I need to go somewhere a man can think.

  Cousin Eddie : Oh, oh I wouldn't do that here Clark, the stalls are awefully dirty and they're backed up all the time.

  Clark Griswold : No, Eddie, I need to be alone.

  Cousin Eddie : Oh, oh I see, ya want me to go with ya?

  Clark Griswold : Allright,come on.

• Clark Griswold : [running up to Dean, the Pit Boss]  Hey! Have you seen this person?

  [holds up picture of Rusty] 

  Pit Boss : [examining the picture]  Hm. Mr. Pappagiorgio, yeah. Lanai Six.

  Clark Griswold : My son.

  Pit Boss : [confused]  Mr. Pappagiorgio?

  Clark Griswold : [confused as well; to Ellen]  Let's go.

  [they run off] 

  Pit Boss : [catching onto what's going on]  Oh boy, oh boy.

  [picks up phone to call security] 

• Clark Griswold : Where in the hell is the damn dam tour?

• Clark Griswold : [as they watch Vicki pole dance]  Don't think unnatural thoughts about your cousin, Russ.

• Clark Griswold : [when he stares at a woman's breasts while hiding]  Nice place for a pearl necklace.

• Clark Griswold : I've lost three hundred dollars in fifteen minutes?

  [Eddie, having taken a sip of beer, chokes and spits it out]