- Charles Tuttle: I don't pose, I don't preen, I don't put perjured testimony on the stand. I don't make a mockery of the American legal system.
- Richard Rietti: Well, you got your style. I got mine.
- Charles Tuttle: No, you got nothing. You've got nothing. You've got a S.A.G. card and a rent-controlled apartment in Santa Monica. That's what you've got. You're in over your head, Richard. You don't have the equipment for this.
- Richard Rietti: Maybe he's the person that he con'd the most. I mean we all do that, you know. We all keep a little bit of ourselves hidden. Cuz if we didn't, well, then we'd have to look at who we are. Who we really are. And if we didn't like it, well, we'd have nobody to blame but ourselves.
- Charles Tuttle: Prior use of the machine is not determinative of possessorary interest.
- Tattooed Lowlife: And you a lawyer?
- Charles Tuttle: Yes.
- Heavy Lowlife, Tattooed Lowlife: [both punch him at the same time]
- Charles Tuttle: My kindergarten teacher. I was four. She said I was too advanced for my class, and so they skipped a grade. I didn't want to be skipped, but everybody acted like I was so special. Then pretty soon I working even harder to get skipped all over again. And that, my friend, is how you end up in the junkyard.
- Richard Rietti: [to Richard] You know, you really missed your calling. You should have really been an actor.
- [last lines]
- Richard Rietti: [on motorcycle] Oh yeah, ha ha! Oh! We should definitely slow down now, okay? No, don't go faster! Aaaah! Whoa, okay, whoa!
- Elizabeth: Hey, watch it!
- Richard Rietti: What am I supposed to hold on to?
- Elizabeth: Not - that!
- Richard Rietti: Well I gotta hold on to something, it's dangerous.
- Elizabeth: [Elizabeth's entire closing argument] The defendant sold pennies for 39 dollars and 95 cents.
- Charles Tuttle: We don't wanna win, Richard. This isn't about winning. This is about not getting lynched.