A Simple Plan (1998)

Brent Briscoe: Lou

Photos 

Quotes 

• [Lou tries to encourage Hank to split the money with them from the gym bag] 

  Lou Chambers : It's the American Dream in a goddamn gym bag!

  Lou Chambers : [Lou looks to Jacob]  He... He just wants to walk away from it.

  Hank Mitchell : You work for the American Dream. You don't steal it.

  Lou Chambers : Then this is even better.

• [Hank tries to stop Jacob and Lou from going after the fox in the woods] 

  Hank Mitchell : Hey, what are you doing? It's a nature preserve. You know that.

  Jacob Mitchell : So what?

  Hank Mitchell : So you can't hunt out here. Come on, put the gun back.

  Jacob Mitchell : But it... but it messed up my truck.

  Hank Mitchell : Well, so what? Come on.

  Lou Chambers : Hey, hey, Hank... It's not like we're hunting out here. Uh-uh. We're collecting a debt.

  Jacob Mitchell : [Lou and Jacob laugh together]  That's right. We're collecting a debt.

• [Lou makes fun of Hank when he runs after them in the snow] 

  Lou Chambers : Just look at him. He runs like my wife.

  Hank Mitchell : Hey, come on, wait up! Come on, I'm not dressed for this shit!

  Lou Chambers : Don't get those penny loafers wet.

• [Lou fakes a snowball throw at Hank] 

  Lou Chambers : Now, you see... that's what you might call an insinuating throw. Remember? You said that to me last time I saw you. You could've just said 'hint'. But no. You had to put on airs, show us all them fancy words you know.

  Hank Mitchell : What, do you sit around, you think of this stuff? When was that, two months ago?

  Lou Chambers : [Lou throws the snowball out in the snow-covered field]  Kiss my ass.

  [as the plane is revealed] 

• [Lou drinks with Hank and Jacob late at night and wakes up his wife as she tells a joke] 

  Nancy Chambers : Hey, I got one.

  Lou Chambers : Ah, shit.

  Lou Chambers : This old drunk was telling jokes to his two drunk friends and he was keeping up his wife who unlike him had a job to go to in the morning. So, see, she gets so fucking fed up she comes downstairs and says, 'If he doesn't shut up he's gonna have to find some other place to live rent-free.' Do you got that one?

• [Hank reveals the tape recording to Lou of him drunkenly confessing to Dwight Stephanson's murder] 

  Lou Chambers : Nobody is going to believe that. I mean... I mean it's obvious I'm just kidding around on there isn't it Jake?

  Hank Mitchell : Why would... why would anyone believe it? I mean... let's just think about this. If you and I both go into Carl's office tomorrow afternoon and we both claimed the other one killed Dwight Stephanson who do you think he's going to believe, huh? You? A 40 year old unemployed high school drop-out who's proud of people calling him the town drunk or me? I've got a job. I don't get drunk and... and scream obscenities at my wife in public, I don't pass out on other people's doorways. I wonder who he's going to believe. Yeah... now we're all back in the same boat again. Isn't that right Jacob?

  Hank Mitchell : [Lou looks at Jacob]  You seem to have forgotten we're all in this together.

• [Lou suggests that the three of them keep the money and not turn it in to the police] 

  Hank Mitchell : [Hank laughs]  He wants to keep it. Well, that's a hot one.

  Lou Chambers : Why wouldn't we?

  Hank Mitchell : Why wouldn't we?

  Lou Chambers : Yeah.

  Hank Mitchell : Because we'd go to prison.

  Lou Chambers : Why?

  Hank Mitchell : Why? Because it's stealing.

  Lou Chambers : Stealing. Stealing from who? From him?

  Lou Chambers : [Lou points to the dead pilot in the plane, chuckling]  Hell, he won't mind.

  Jacob Mitchell : [Jacob smiles]  Oh, 'cause he's dead, right? That's pretty funny. He's dead, he won't mind... Right?

• [Lou bets Hank that nobody is looking for the money] 

  Hank Mitchell : Hey, what if there's a reward? Maybe there's a reward, and they'll give us...

  Lou Chambers : Maybe there's not. How about this. I tell you what... I bet you $10,000... Just one of these packets... That when they find this plane, there's no mention of this money.

  [Lou hands Hank a packet of the money] 

• [Lou goes to Hank asking for his share of the money] 

  Lou Chambers : Just give me one packet okay? Just one packet, you know? I'll come back later for the rest.

  Hank Mitchell : Ask me again and I'll go burn it tomorrow morning. Is that clear?

  Lou Chambers : Bluff.

  Hank Mitchell : What?

  Lou Chambers : Yeah it's a bluff. B-L-U-F-F.

  Hank Mitchell : Oh, well why don't you call it then and just see what happens.

• [Lou talks to Hank while drunk at the bar] 

  Lou Chambers : I guess what I'm trying to say is, well maybe I misjudged you, Hank. 'Cause, I mean, you're a bit more... well, I don't know, let's say... serious than a guy like me. And you know, well maybe sometimes you can come across like you sort of got a stick up your ass. I mean to... to someone who doesn't really know you. To someone who can't get beneath that first impression. And okay, okay maybe... maybe sometimes... well... I can come off a little bit like an asshole. You think?

  Hank Mitchell : No, come on.

  Lou Chambers : Yeah. Oh, no, no, no! No. I know what I'm talking about.

  Lou Chambers : [Lou pauses before laughing]  But fuck it.

• [Lou at the bar gets tripped by a bar patron] 

  Lou Chambers : [the bar patron chuckles]  What, you think that's funny?

  Bar Patron : [the man throws his hand up towards Lou]  Ahh!

  Lou Chambers : Ahh, what, huh? I'm asking you. You think it's funny tripping a guy on the way to the fucking can?

  Bar Patron : Look, buddy...

  Lou Chambers : [Jacob and Hank hold Lou back]  Oh, don't buddy me! What the... See, this right here is my buddy. This guy right here is my buddy. You're not my fucking buddy, huh, you got it?

• [Jacob picks on Hank and the way he's fake drinking his whiskey] 

  Jacob Mitchell : You see this... You see the way this guy drinks. You see Hank take a drink of that whiskey. It's like... it's like...

  Jacob Mitchell : [Jacob imitates the sip of his drink like Hank, as Lou chuckles]  Like fucking you know like... what is this like? Some kind of commercial? For... Preparation 'X' or something like that. Like he lives on Primrose Lane. Drink like some God damn bird or something.

  Hank Mitchell : You gonna start playing big brother now teaching me how to drink my whiskey?

  Jacob Mitchell : [Jacob imitates Hank sipping his drink again]  You ever seen anybody drink like that before?

  Lou Chambers : [Lou chuckles]  No. Tell you the truth I've never seen anybody drink like that before.

  Jacob Mitchell : I don't... I don't drink like that. My dad didn't drink like that.

• [Lou holds hit shotgun on Hank and demands for the tape of his false confession] 

  Lou Chambers : [Lou screams to Jacob as Jacob grabs for his rifle]  You know I need that money!

  Jacob Mitchell : Please Lou, leave him alone!

  Lou Chambers : No, no. Listen to me. I need it tomorrow. They're going to take my truck.

  Jacob Mitchell : [Jacob raises his gun at Lou]  Put... put the gun down, Lou.

  Lou Chambers : You see, he's got a job. It's you and me buddy. We're the ones... we're the ones who need it.

  Lou Chambers : [Lou aims his shotgun at Hank]  He just wants it!

• [Lou asks Jacob what he's going to buy with his share of the money] 

  Lou Chambers : Hey, what you gonna buy, Jakey boy?

  Jacob Mitchell : I'm gonna buy me a truck.

  Lou Chambers : No. Fuck that. Get something classy. Trans-Am.

  Jacob Mitchell : Oh, yeah, in my wildest fuckin' dreams, a Trans-Am.

• [Hank, Jacob, and Lou walk around in the woods looking for the fox] 

  Jacob Mitchell : Wish we had something to drink.

  Lou Chambers : [Lou pulls a beer can out of his jacket]  Always be prepared.

  Hank Mitchell : Oh, that's a good idea. Let's all start drinking now.

• [after Hank, Jacob, and Lou find the crashed airplane] 

  Jacob Mitchell : Hey, you know what? It's probably one of those drunk doctors, always crashing their plane, you know.

  Lou Chambers : Yep.

• [Jacob looks down into the money bag for the first time] 

  Jacob Mitchell : Is this... is it real money, Lou?

  Lou Chambers : Oh, hell, yes, it's real. Don't be stupid.

• [Lou and Jacob try justifying their reasons for keeping the money] 

  Lou Chambers : Nobody knows about this but us.

  Jacob Mitchell : See there? Nobody knows but us. It's like we came out here on a hike, and found lost treasure. Right?

• [Lou and Jacob try to convince Hank that nobody will come looking for the money] 

  Lou Chambers : Hey, why... Why turn it in until we know whether or not somebody's looking for it?

  Jacob Mitchell : That's right. If you scratch, then don't... don't itch. If it's - If it's broken, don't fix it. Right?

  Jacob Mitchell : [Jacob begins to stammer]  If, a... If you, if the, if, if, if, if...

  Lou Chambers : I know what you mean.

• [Lou pleads to Hank that he needs money] 

  Lou Chambers : [the two whisper as Sarah sleeps]  I need my share, Hank. I do. I'm broke... And I owe people money.

  Hank Mitchell : Well, Christ Lou, what can I...

  Lou Chambers : I need some help here, man.

  Hank Mitchell : Okay, just wait here.

  Hank Mitchell : [Hank goes into the closet by his front door to get Lou some money, as he returns]  Here, here.

  Lou Chambers : [Lou states aloud]  $40?