Hurlyburly (1998)

Garry Shandling: Artie

Photos 

Quotes 

• Eddie : Just because you're Jewish, doesn't mean you're fuckin' Freud.

  Artie : Just because you're whatever the fuck you are, doesn't mean you're whatever the fuck you think you are.

• Artie : He's got this thing.

  Phil : It's a vibrator I carry around with me.

  Mickey : You carry a vibrator around with you?

  Phil : Yeah. As a form of come-on. So the girls can see I'm up for anything right away. Sometimes as a sort of, uh, mood-setter I turn it on. But, uh, today there was, uh, extenuating circumstances.

  Artie : You forgot about the weights.

  Phil : Yeah.

  Artie : He forgot about the weights.

  Mickey : You forgot about the weights?

  Phil : Yeah. Forgot about the weights. Unbelievable.

  Mickey : Unbelievable! You forgot about the weights?

  Eddie : Do you know what he's talking about?

  Mickey : No, I have no idea what he's talking about.

  Phil : You prick, you disgust me.

• Artie : [Holding a baby girl]  Damn.

  Phil : What happened?

  Artie : Well, she's a... She's a broad already, Phil. She's done everything that every other broad done. She had a dump on me.