Bikini Traffic School (1998 Video) User Reviews

Waste of an awesome title

[Sandcooler · 1/10 · 8 May 2006]

Anti-porn and anti-humor, that's a combination you don't see often. And you know, there's a reason for that. Anyway, this movie is about a couple of bimbos with a capital B (or should I say, a capital D? My god, I've been watching too much of this movie) who try to save the traffic school of "aunt Velma". We never get to see this woman, but I bet good money that she's a 50-year-old fake blonde chain smoker with a make-your-own-implants-kit. Anyway, these women try to save this traffic school by working hard, and with working hard, I mean spraying each other with water and taking their clothes of a lot. In between the awkwardly lame jokes, we usually get 30 seconds of cold and sour luvin' between bored looking men and women with breasts you can get stabbed with, which is of course edited so it seems like it's roughly 10 minutes. This is all accompanied by endless songs to really put the idea in our brains that this is sexy material. We're in for a twist ending, as the hussy squad saves the day. Didn't see that one coming,right? I should probably add that soft-core isn't really my forte, since you know, it's crap.But still, who ever came up with this idea? Soft-core isn't about laughter(especially not this one), it's about not having sex. This is an insult to crappy skin flicks everywhere.

Scooby Doo makes a movie

[alandds1 · 5/10 · 6 February 2014]

A movie so bad it's good. T&A are worth the time to watch this. I've seen better acting in a Cambodian whore house. These women should have pulled a reverse Tracey Lords and moved from "legitimate" acting to porno. Script written by a 7th grade class for an end of the semester project. Fly to Denver...get high...watch Bikini Traffic School. The "Bungles the Clown" sound effects add to the brilliance of this film. The A.I. in my Roomba vacuum cleaner has more intelligence than these characters. This movie strikes a new low (or high?) for this genre. That said, if anyone has this on Blu-Ray, contact me immediately! "Hey Mom and Dad, I'm finally in a movie after waiting tables for 7 years in Hollywood"!

great breasts in this movie, hot women

[cob623-1 · 4 May 2002]

It's great when those two girls are on the tennis court and one removes her bra complete with hanna barbara boing sound effects. so fitting. this movie was kinda corny, but very sexy women. great movie for a lonely night.

Sex Doesn't Sell With This Dud!

[cynet-52332 · 1/10 · 14 April 2023]

This movie has literally nothing going for it not even the amount of breasts on offer in this so called Z list level comedy. The story intails of an old Aunt leaving her driving school to her grandaughter the strip tease artist. Yes it's that straight forward of a story it must have taken the film makers all of 5 min to come up with. To cut a long story short there are others who want the school business and are willing to do anything to succeed apart from trying to act because nobody in this lame ass movie can act. Got some soft porn scenes which are just as bad as the acting and if I made love like the guys do in this movie I would take up another hobby. Give this pile of trash a huge miss!

Shayna a sight to see!

[ving13 · 9/10 · 19 January 1999]

This movie has that tired old plot involving our heroes having to make X amount of money in Y amount of time to save the business from the evil clutches of so-and-so. What makes this movie viewable to a horny hetero male like myself are the gorgeous women who take it off quite often. Shayna Ryan, who plays Marcie, is particularly nuclear! I recorded only the nudie parts and ended up with a 30-minute masterpiece.