The Truth About Cats & Dogs (1996)

Uma Thurman: Noelle

Photos 

Quotes 

• Dr. Abby Barnes : If I was a guy, I think women would, like, line up to go out with me. I'm smart. I have a good sense of humor. I make a great living.

  Noelle : I'd fuck you.

  Dr. Abby Barnes : Thank you, honey. I know you would.

• Noelle : You and I combined make the perfect woman

  Dr. Abby Barnes : No. You and I combined make the perfect political prisoner. What we really do well is act self-righteous and starve.

• Noelle : Besides, he has this small personal habit that just drives me crazy.

  Abby : What's that?

  Noelle : He loves *you*.

• Noelle : What's wrong, Abby?

  Dr. Abby Barnes : Nothing that a rooftop and an AK-47 won't take care of.

• Noelle : Disappointment doesn't kill.

  Dr. Abby Barnes : Right... rejection kills. Disappointment only maims.

• Noelle : Did you ever look in the mirror so long that your face didn't make sense anymore? It just becomes all these shapes. Just shapes. Not good or bad.

• Noelle : What is this? Is this cat hair?

  Dr. Abby Barnes : I'm shedding. I'm extremely nervous.

• Noelle : Her cheese balls make excellent Christmas gifts!

• Noelle : You mean you want me to shove my finger up that turtle's ass?

• Noelle : Maybe it was all the cake he fed me.

  Dr. Abby Barnes : What is that, the twinkie defense?

• [contemplating how to reveal Abby's true identity to Brian] 

  Noelle : Is your show on today?

  Dr. Abby Barnes : Yeah.

  Noelle : I'll go to his house and I'll turn on the radio.

  Dr. Abby Barnes : And?

  Noelle : Have you ever noticed how Superman and Clark Kent are never in the same room at the same time?

• Noelle : You gotta have a boyfriend, don't you? Otherwise it's just you and a cat and before you know, 40 candles on your birthday cake.

• Noelle : I don't eat anything so I can look good on the outside, but on the inside, there's nothing.