Sgt. Bilko (1996)

Dan Aykroyd: Col. John T. Hall

Photos 

Quotes 

• Major Ebersole : Well, theoretically, and I wouldn't bet the farm, the hover tank will lift off and hover several inches above the pond.

  Colonel Hall : Good. Very good.

  Major Ebersole : Yeah. Then it will engage the targets. The cannon, boom, the ammunition dump, kaboom, that truck, boom.

  Colonel Hall : Excellent. Though, one thought. Maybe it should be boom, boom, *then* kaboom. You know, save that kaboom for the very last, kind of like a hoo-ah grand finale. What do you think, Major?

  Major Ebersole : [stares at him]  I'll make a note of it, sir.

• [Major Thorn is doing a surprise inspection of the barracks, so just before he arrived Bilko quickly moved his men out of their untidy living quarters to another platoon's next door and switched the signs around] 

  Major Thorn : [holding up some ladies underwear he's found in the closet]  Are these yours?

  Sgt. Henshaw : It is my understanding that you can longer ask me these questions, sir.

  Colonel Hall : It's a new army, Major. We're all adjusting.

• Colonel Hall : Very good. As you were.

  [the men just stand there] 

  Bilko : He means go back to what you were doing.

• Colonel Hall : What is that?

  Bilko : [nonchalantly]  That's horse shit, sir. I tell the men "You have to test-drive the vehicles"...

  Colonel Hall : What's it doing there?

  Bilko : It keeps the flies off the food, sir. There's no way you can tell what wrong with an engine when it's just sitting on the block...

  Colonel Hall : Off the food?

  Bilko : It's an experimental program, I'd say the results are mixed.

  [Hall then notices the live horse from the tug-of-war that's been hoisted up above them] 

  Sgt. Barbella : It's a lot cheaper than sending out for it, sir.

  Sgt. Henshaw : And fresher too.

• Cpl. Jefferson : The Pentagon called, sir.

  Colonel Hall : Pentagon? How did they get my number?