Dunston Checks In (1996)

Jason Alexander: Robert Grant

Photos 

Quotes 

• Kyle Grant : [Robert has gotten a Dubrow Alert]  Dad, wait, I'm not done.

  Robert Grant : Yes, you are. She hates kids. She once kicked Big Bird in the nuts!

• Robert Grant : [sees Dunston out the window]  HOLY SHIT!

  Mrs. Feldman : [to Mrs. Winthrop]  He must really hate the Four Seasons.

  Robert Grant : No, no!

• Kyle : Dad! There's a gorilla in the bathroom!

  Robert : Kyle, there is no gorilla in the bathroom.

  Kyle : But, Dad...

  Robert : Go back to sleep.

• Robert Grant : Kyle, I know you're upset about the vacation, but that is no excuse to throw a guest's dog into the garbage.

  Kyle Grant : I didn't throw him in the garbage.

  Robert Grant : Then, what happened? No, no, don't tell me, let me guess. You decided to give him a coffee-ground bath to improve his coat.

  Kyle Grant : He jumped off the dog walk.

  Robert Grant : The dog is suicidal? Is that what you're trying to tell me?

  Kyle Grant : He smelled the monster on the ledge and jumped over.

  Robert Grant : Oh, it makes perfect sense now. He smelled the monster on the ledge. It is the smelly ledge monster.

  Brian : [to Kyle]  Way to blow the tip, psycho.

• Mrs. Dubrow : Where did it come from?

  La Farge : Well, when two orangutans fall in love...

  Robert Grant : I think she means how did it get into the hotel.

• Robert Grant : I'm giving you a week's paid vacation.

  Consuelo : Thank you.

  Robert Grant : On one condition: you have to go running out of this office right now, crying.

  Consuelo : [starts up tears]  Hoo hoo hoo hoo. Ahhhhh.

• Victor : Fluffy towels.

  Robert Grant : Excuse me?

  Victor : Read the cards, Robert. You gotta keep up on the cards. You know what the guests want?

• Brian : You do realize we'll probably end up living in a Motel 6?

  Robert Grant : Yep! Sounds pretty good to me.

• [on his phone after seeing Dunston in the greenroom on the roof] 

  Robert Grant : Call security and get them up here! Everybody! Everybody! And call the best animal control in the city. And Nancy, Nancy - call Kyle, and, uh... apologize for me.

  [hangs up, begins hyperventilating] 

  Robert Grant : I got a monkey in my hotel!

• Robert Grant : [of Rutledge]  He tied you up?

  Kyle Grant : Yes, and he's gonna hurt Dunston if he finds him!

  Robert Grant : Okay. You guys, you split up, you find the monkey, and you take him upstairs to the apartment. I'm gonna take care of Lord Rutledge.

• Robert Grant : What is your brother doing in the spa?

• Robert Grant : Brian, no Poker, no videos, and no using the security room for your own little voyeuristic pleasures!

• Robert Grant : [angry with Brian]  *What* is your brother doing in the *spa*?