Tommy Boy (1995)

Dan Aykroyd: Zalinsky

Photos 

Quotes 

• [after Tommy has rubbed air freshener on himself] 

  Ray Zalinsky : Went a little heavy on the pine tree perfume there, kid?

  Tommy : Sir, it's an taxicab air freshener.

  Ray Zalinsky : Good, you've pinpointed it. Step two is washing it out.

• Paul : Wait a minute, fat boy. You lost your shares to the bank. You don't even have a right to be here!

  Michelle : Gee, it's funny you should bring that up, 'cause I'm not sure that you have the right to be here.

  Thomas 'Tommy' Callahan III : Whoa, what have we got here? Oh, my God, it's a Police Report.

  Ray Zalinsky : What's all this about?

  Thomas 'Tommy' Callahan III : Let's see. "Paul Barrish, married May 1993 to Beverly Barrish aka Beverly Burns". Richard, how could Beverly be married to Paul and my dad at the same time? Interesting!

  Richard Hayden : Yes. Provocative.

  Thomas 'Tommy' Callahan III : What I think it means is your marriage to my dad was never legal.

  Michelle : Which also means that Beverly's shares still belong to Tommy.

• Paul : That's it! I'm not gonna take this.

  Richard Hayden : Uh, uh! It's not over yet, Lee Harvey.

  Michelle : Let's see... warrants outstanding: New Mexico-Mail Fraud. Colorado-Wire Fraud. And coming soon to Ohio, Computer Fraud.

  [Paul makes as if to say something, then makes a break for the door] 

  Thomas 'Tommy' Callahan III : [shouts]  Get him!

  Ray Zalinsky : Don't let him leave the complex, Marty.

  Thomas 'Tommy' Callahan III : [Paul runs into the Zalinsky auto testing center]  Hey, you forgot your wife!

  Paul : Screw you! Screw all of you!

  [trips over the lever that starts the crash test; car drives fast] 

  Paul : Not good.

  Ray Zalinsky : Hit the brakes!

  Paul : [screaming; car stops abruptly, sends Paul flying into a chair; a huge test bag drops down and smashes his testicles]  Aaahh! Ohhh!

  Richard Hayden : Ooh! That will ruin his weekend.

• Ray Zalinsky : Marty, find out where the police are going to be taking him. Send over a bottle of bubbly with a bucket of ice and a card. Have it say, "Tough break, get drunk on me. Use the bucket to ice down your marbles, Yours, Z."

• Ray Zalinsky : What the American public doesn't know is what makes them the American public.

• Ray Zalinsky : [after a car crashes into a wall during a crash test]  God, I love that.

• [Tommy has a fake bomb strapped to himself] 

  Nicole Taylor, Action 8 News : Is that why you've strapped a bomb to your chest?

  Thomas 'Tommy' Callahan III : Oh, this isn't a bomb. These are road flares.

  Ray Zalinsky : Road flares? Did you live under power lines as a kid, or something?

  Thomas 'Tommy' Callahan III : Ha ha ha, why?

• Tommy : Ray, we're not looking for a handout here. I'm offering you a great deal. This is an order for half a million Callahan brake pads to be sold in your stores; made by the American working man for the American working man.

  Ray Zalinsky : Well... absolutely! It would be my great pleasure. I mean, what have I got to lose? A great American product, right?

  R.T., Shipping Foreman : [watching on TV]  I don't believe it. Tommy just sold half a million brake pads.

  Louis, Factory Worker : Tommy just sold a half a million brake pads!

• Ray Zalinsky : Truth is, I make car parts for the American working man because I'm a hell of a salesman and he doesn't know any better. Well, son, since you're no longer a shareholder, this is where I leave you. Don't feel bad. This chain of events was set in motion a long time ago, and you and bald-headed friend, you did what you could and that's commendable. Marty, have Security see these boys out.

  Marty, Zalinsky's Aide : Yes, sir.

  Ray Zalinsky : Mrs. Callahan.

  [greets Beverly and Paul; Paul waves "goodbye"] 

  Thomas 'Tommy' Callahan III : [in shock]  What's my family doing in there?

• Tommy : But the Callahan factory has been in my family for seventy years. You can't just shut it down.

  Ray Zalinsky : Son, you got to look at it from my point of view. Callahan's a premium name. That's what I'm buying. I can make the parts in one of my factories, put them in a Callahan box, and sell them in my stores at a premium price. Why keep your factory going when all I want's the god damn box?