The Drew Carey Show (TV Series 1995–2004) Poster

(1995–2004)

John Carroll Lynch: Steve Carey

Photos 

Quotes 

  • [Mimi kicked Steve out] 

    Drew Carey : So, where are you staying?

    Steve Carey : A hotel.

    Drew Carey : You shouldn't be staying in no hotel, you should be staying here.

    Steve Carey : Thanks, but if I stay here, Mimi's never gonna let you see your nephew.

    Oswald Lee Harvey : Why don't you stay with me and Lewis?

    Steve Carey : Really?

    Lewis Kiniski : Sure. You clean, you cook, you're like a big, bald Mary Poppins.

  • [Steve and Mimi moved their trailer into Drew's backyard] 

    Drew Carey : I couldn't sleep last night. The rocking trailer kept me up.

    Steve Carey : Oh, sorry.

    Drew Carey : And, then, the screaming started.

    Steve Carey : What was that?

    Drew Carey : That was me, when I realized what was going on in the trailer!

  • Steve Carey : Look, dad, this isn't easy for us.

    Drew Carey : Can't you, at least, make an effort?

    George Carey : Now, you listen to me. While most guys were pushing pencils, I was torching commies out of caves in Korea. I've worked at a job I hated for 40 years. I've raised two boys. I'm tired, damn it! I just want to lay there and get mine!

  • [Drew's in a coma] 

    Steve Carey : Is he going to live?

    Doctor : Well, he could just wake up, or he'll need a shock to his system.

    Steve Carey : A shock...

    [turns to Mimi] 

    Steve Carey : Honey, this is your department.

  • Steve Carey : Bro, I wanted to tell you something for a long time... I play for the other team.

    Lewis Kiniski : I knew it, he's gay.

    Steve Carey : No, I mean the other softball team. And, if you think I'm gay, well... talk to the hand.

    [sticks out his hand] 

    Lewis Kiniski : [to Steve's hand]  Oh, hello.

  • Steve Carey : Hey, Mimi, I found something that'll help you get pregnant.

    Drew Carey : [to Steve]  A blindfold for your penis?

  • [after losing a bet, Steve has to eat dog food] 

    Steve Carey : I think I'm going to be sick.

    Drew Carey : You put your tongue in Mimi's mouth and this is what makes you sick?

  • Steve Carey : Did it ever occur to you, that every time you look at Saturn, there may be another sad and lonely guy looking at you through a telescope?

    Drew Carey : Did it ever occur to you, that you're the only one here who has to wear sunscreen on his head?

  • Lewis Kiniski : If we win, you have to name your son after us.

    Steve Carey : And, if I win, you two have to legally change your names to 'Boob 1' and 'Boob 2'

    Lewis Kiniski : That's ridiculous.

    Oswald Lee Harvey : Dibs on 'Boob 1'!

    Lewis Kiniski : Damn!

  • Drew Carey : How does a guy keep from doubling over every time he looks at his girlfriend?

    [Drew, Oswald, and Lewis all look at Steve] 

    Steve Carey : That is just rude!

  • Steve Carey : It's a boy! We're having a boy!

    [Drew comes in] 

    Mimi Bobeck : Actually, I'm glad it's not a girl. After all, what woman could live up to this beauty?

    Drew Carey : All women, most men and some horses. Good morning.

  • [Drew's brother is wearing a dress] 

    Mimi Bobeck : Hey, Drew's brother is all right. Any man who can wear heels like that on ice? Proud to call sister.

    Steve Carey : Sister? That's what they called me at hockey camp.

  • [Steve is wearing a dress] 

    Oswald Lee Harvey : Why are you wearing a dress?

    Steve Carey : Why do you take long walks in the park?

    Oswald Lee Harvey : Because it feels good.

    Steve Carey : You should try women's underwear.

  • Steve Carey : If there's a bra on the door, don't come in. If there's two bras on the door, get a room. If I were you, I'd get a room.

    Drew Carey : Wow, you dog you. Still a Carey.

    [pauses] 

    Drew Carey : It's a girl, right?

    Steve Carey : Yeah.

    Drew Carey : Still a Carey.

  • Drew Carey : Don't you ever wear guy clothes on a date?

    Steve Carey : I wore jeans once, but you know, they were the kind with the zippers on the ankles.

See also

Release Dates | Official Sites | Company Credits | Filming & Production | Technical Specs


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