Threesome (1994)

Josh Charles: Eddy Howe

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Quotes 

• Eddie : Solitude brought out the worst in me. It gave me time to brood over the nature of things. I wondered how some people could be such a necessary part of one's life one day, and simply vanish the next. Isn't it supposed to last? We ran into each other at graduation. We had lunch about a year after that. It was nice to see them, but it wasn't like the old days. My college experience wasn't what I had planned. It bore no resemblance to the pictures in the brochure. But I'm not unhappy; I don't think any of us are. We got what we needed out of it. It's kind of like going on a vacation - you plan everything out but one day you make a wrong turn or take a detour, and you end up in some crazy place you can never find on the map, doing something you never thought you'd do. Maybe you feel a little lost while it's happening. But, later, you realize it was the best part of the whole trip

• Eddie : I wonder how some people could be such a necessary part of one's life one day and simply vanish the next. Isn't it supposed to last?

• Alex : You have the hots for me, I have the hots for him, and sooner or later he's gonna have the hots for you.

  Eddie : Sounds pretty hot to me.

• Eddie : Pandora's proverbial box had been opened, and what's more, none of us were sure that we wanted it closed again.

• Eddie : If Alex and Stuart were genetically merged into one person, he or she would've been the love of my life.

• Stuart : How did we get on the ceiling?

  Eddie : Did you pay the gravity bill this morning?

  Stuart : I forgot!

• [On Catcher In The Rye] 

  Stuart : It's a great book, you're going to love it.

  Alex : I've read it four times.

  Stuart : I've often felt like the main character, Holden Caulfield...

  Eddie : No, no, he's Stradlater, the obnoxious room-mate who thinks he's it.

• Eddie : - We think that Larry... is very scary.

  Stuart : - And hairy.

  Eddie : - Very hairy.

  Stuart : - So be wary... of very scary hairy Larry.

• Stuart : Why didn't you just fuck her?

  Eddie : Yeah, right!

  Stuart : Eddy, the girl was ripping your pants off with her teeth. She's in the perfect position, at least get a blowjob!

• Alex : What are you doing in here?

  Eddie : Our room has a foul and mysterious odor.

  Alex : So clean it, you used to be a clean person.

  Eddie : That was before I moved in with him. I used to make hospital corners, now I don't even change the sheets

• [after the guys meet Alex, she storms out, slamming the door] 

  Stuart : Wow, she's amazing. Truly amazing.

  [sings] 

  Stuart : Amaaaaazing grace...

  Eddie : It's not Grace, it's Alex.

  Stuart : [sings]  Amaaaaazing Alex...

  [Eddie hits Stuart in the face with a football] 

• Eddie : Gay sex, by definition, is better than straight sex.

  Stuart : Get the fuck outta here! I would love to hear this.

  Eddie : If you have male genitalia and you're sleeping with someone who also has male genitalia, then you have first-hand knowledge of how their equipment works. You know all the pressure-sensitive points. You know what buttons to push. If you're a man having sex with a woman or vice-versa, you never really know how they feel. You don't know if they really feel great or if they're just faking it.