Revenge of the Nerds IV: Nerds in Love (1994 TV Movie)

Diane Robin: Lois Humphrey

Quotes 

• Dudley Dawson : Well, I don't know about you guys, but I'm ready to jump off the dock!

  Ogre : Yeah!

  [applause] 

  Chip : Hold it, everybody. I'd like to offer my toast...

  Everybody : Yeah, yeah.

  Dudley Dawson : ...to Booger's love child.

  [suspenseful music] 

  Dudley Dawson : Love child? What are you talking about?

  [suspenseful music continues] 

  Chip : I'm talking about the daughter you had 12 years ago, out of wedlock, with a young woman in Sandusky, Ohio.

  Ogre : All right, Booger! Yeah, bud!

  Aaron Humphrey : You have a child that my little girl doesn't know about? I am appalled Booger, appalled. And so is my wife, right, see?

  Lois Humphrey : But...

  Dudley Dawson : I don't know anything about this. I have no child in Sandusky, Ohio.

  Chip : The hell you don't!

  [everyone gasps] 

  Lewis Skolnick : This is a fairly specious charge. Where's your proof, Chip?

  Dudley Dawson : Yeah, where's your proof, Chip?

  Everybody : Yeah!

  Chip : My proof is right here: I'd like you to meet Detective First Class, Chad Penrod. Detective Penrod, does Dudley Dawson, alias "Booger", have or have not a 12-year old child in Sandusky, Ohio?

  Chad Penrod : [takes out his notepad]  I checked the birth records in Sandusky and found... that on March 19, 1981, a certain Heidi Dawson was born to a Miss Cathleen Turtle... Turteltaub, and a Mr. Dudley Dawson.

  Ogre : Cool.

  Trevor Gulf : Wait! If the parents of the alleged love child were never married, why isn't the child's name Heidi Turteltaub?

  Dudley Dawson : Exactly! Why isn't the child's name Heidi Turteltaub?

  Lewis Skolnick : Yes!

  Chad Penrod : Beats me.

  Dudley Dawson : If the child were born to an unmarried mother, wouldn't the so-said mother have given the aforementioned daughter her last name?

  Chad Penrod : Well, I do know this: The child's nickname is "Booger".

• Harold : [talking to Booger on his cell phone]  Hey, I don't know if you're enjoying your wedding, but it's been the best time of my life.

  [chuckles] 

  Lois Humphrey : Nerds, who knew?

  Dudley Dawson : Where are you?

  Harold : I'm over at Lois's.

  Dudley Dawson : Well, it's been special, and thank God it's all going to end this afternoon.

  Chip : [shows up with Heidi]  It's all gonna end right now! I'd like you to meet Heidi Dawson, your daughter.

  [Heidi steps forward, picking her nose]