No Contest (1995) User Reviews

This was kind of dope!

[subxerogravity · 5/10 · 10 October 2015]

At first I was surprise that I never saw this Shannon Tweed flick during the Skinemax days, than I realized that there's no nudity in it. My lost, as the movie was entertaining to watch.

It's Die Hard at a beauty pageant as Shannon Tweed plays an once popular action star hosting the Ms. Galaxy pageant when a crew of kidnappers take the place hostage.

I've seen Shannon Tweed do a few kicks in her movies before, but she goes all out in this one trying to be Dolph Lundgren only with smaller boobs. She kicks some ass, she fires the gun and she goes after the bad guy. However you feel about female action stars (I'm definitely all for it), I thought the movie did a spectacular job with it and it was nothing but fun to watch.

Another highlight of the flick was Andrew Dice Clay who lead the kidnappers. It's like he took the clichés of all best movie villains and rolled it into one. He was the ultimate bad ass and the ultimate parody all at the same time, and it just put a huge grin on my face watching him.

It's a low budget b-action flick plan and simple, and it works for your amusement. You can catch the film on you tube like I did.

By straight-to-video standards, this is above average.

[gridoon · 6/10 · 18 September 2001]

Shannon Tweed's first attempt to change her image and become an action heroine is also one of her best films. To be more accurate, it's the best of the three or four films that I've seen her in so far. It's nothing more than a "Die Hard" clone, and Robert Davi is wasted, but the pacing never lags, the direction has energy and Tweed is fairly convincing as a kick-boxer. (**1/2)

Tweed provides the kick.. Clay provides the ham

[sol-kay · 6/10 · 5 April 2004]

******SPOILERS****** Andew Dice Clay, Brice, is far more funnier trying to be an over the top evil villain in "No Contest" then in any of the stand up comedy acts that he does on stage and on cable TV in this laughable action drama. The film is about Brice and his cohorts taking over a beauty contest, the Galaxy, and holding the six finalists as well as the host and former Galaxy contest winner Sharon Bell, Shannon Tweed, hostage. In order to let them go Brice wants a ransom of ten million dollars in diamonds.

Brice rewards the Galaxy contest winner Miss France, Julie Armstrong, with a bullet in the head just as the shocked crowd was expecting him to crown her. Brice and his gang then effectively wiped out the security guards as well as the TV crew who were broadcasting the event on live TV.

A sub-plot soon develops about this whole crazy venture when it's revealed that one of the finalists Miss USA Candy Wilson, Polly Shannon, is the daughter of US Senator Donald Wilson, John Colicos. we are told that Wilson was involved with Brice in a Columbian drug ring and that he had Brice double-crossed and thought that he was killed by the drug dealers. Somehow Brice managed to survived and is now back for revenge. There is also another sub-plot involving one of the finalists Miss Germany, Chandra West, also being in on the hostage taking as well as being Brice's girlfriend.

The gang that Brice has in this adventure is one of the biggest bunch of mixed nuts ever put together in crime movie history with the overly macho Victor, Nicholas Campball, and obnoxious former professional wrestler Roddy Piper, Ice. Ice was so unintentionally funny that he spoiled the little tension that was still left in the movie when he tried to be bad and evil. Instead Ice came across like a cross between the Honeymooners Jacky Gleason and Saturday Night Lives Chevy Chase slipping and falling all over the place.

Even though Robert Davi,Sgt. Crane, is the top star in the movie he was completely overshadowed by the very physical and free-swinging and kicking Shannon Tweed who did all the work dispatching the gang of kidnappers. Davi just limped, he was a disabled Secret Service Agent in the film, along for the ride.

The movie moved toward it's inevitable climax as Sharon almost single handedly kung-fu'ed the Brice gang out of the movie leaving just him left to have it out with her on an hotel elevator for the films dramatic ending. It was next to a miracle that Sharon was able to stand up by then after the pounding that she took, as well as gave, during the movie up to that point.

Shannon Tweed was very exciting and nice to watch in the action scenes as well as in the sexy clothes that she wore. She in fact never took her clothes off during in the movie. Andrew Dice Clay showed what a "Ham Actor" he really is if he was just given the chance like the movie "No Contest" gave him. Robert Davi was the invisible man by going through the entire movie almost unnoticed and the girls held hostage were anything but sympathetic with their unconvincing acting. showing almost no fear at all of their captors, no matter how hard they tried.

The character who I think was the real villain and most believable person in the film was Senator Wilson, John Colicos. Senator Wilson showed what we see in the news every day that if your in power and keep getting re-elected you can get away with anything even murder.

Garbage, but at least it's spiced-up garbage

[Sandcooler · 5/10 · 15 March 2011]

Disclaimer for avid Shannon Tweed fans: there's no nudity whatsoever in this movie. That could be surprising to some, but as I always say: guess there's a first time for everything. This isn't really the kind of sleazy soft-core flick Tweed is usually known for either, it's more of a sleazy dumb action flick. I'll never go as far as calling this screenplay unsubtle, but at one point Tweed's character is described as "Bruce Lee with boobs". Just saying. The whole thing is entertaining enough though, mainly because of the bizarre choice of co-stars. Rowdy Roddy Piper and Andrew Dice Clay, who the hell did the casting on this one? Whoever it was, he or she rules the Earth. The action scenes look pretty good too by the way, Bruce Lee with boobs kicks some serious ass at some point. This movie actually looks like it was meant to be as generic and cheap as possible, but luckily there's too much coolness in it to make that happen.

Could have been great trash

[Wizard-8 · 7 July 1999]

Shannon Tweed as a heroine? Andrew Dice Clay and Roddy Piper as bad guys? All three in a DIE HARD rip-off taking place at a beauty pagent? Hey, this isn't going to be a masterpiece, but it sounds like it would be great fun as a trashy movie!

I said "sounds like". But I was sorely disappointed. Tweed doesn't get naked. The action scenes aren't that great. Clay and Piper aren't that campy, and don't seem to be that enthusiastic.

Not the worst DIE HARD rip-off out there. But _nowhere_ the great movie it could have been. I know the premise sounds great, especially with those actors, but trust me, it's disappointing.

Funny, but not supposed to be

[Dave-330 · 2/10 · 14 December 1998]

This movie is so bad on every level imaginable. It is still entertaining because it is bad enough that I couldn't stop laughing. Tweed and Clay make overacting an art form and are obviously miscast as the heroine and villain. Piper is Piper. He looks like he's going to laugh each time he tries to be menacing. Davi should be ashamed of himself for being in this "Die Hard" clone. You've got four of the worst over-actors in the business, how good can it be? It would rate a "0" as an action movie, and a "4" as a comedy. Just a note for all you Tweed lovers, she's not nude, and I think this is the first Tweed movie with no nudity at all.

Poor-quality knock-off action movie

[mysteriesfan · 2/10 · 11 July 2007]

The description of this movie made it sound like it was in the Die Hard mold. But it not only falls far short of those intelligent, elaborate movies. It does not even measure up to copies like Sudden Death, with Van Damme. Even a 1994 film called Crackerjack -- with Thomas Ian Griffith as a cop and Christopher Plummer as a neo-Nazi, clashing at a mountain resort over a complicated plan to steal millions in mob diamonds and to cover it up -- which is also hampered by lame writing and acting, manages to be a better low-budget knockoff than No Contest.

No Contest is about a big-shot bad guy taking over by force of arms the penthouse of a hotel that hosts a beauty pageant in which a Senator's daughter is a contestant, setting bombs all over the entrances, and then demanding millions in diamonds. The villain is "Bryce," Andrew Dice Clay. He talks tough and piles up bodies as the man who had been in charge of the corrupt Senator's Florida transport company. That operation had been in bed with Colombian drug-lords and was sold out to the DEA, after which Bryce supposedly died in a firefight.

The heroine is Shannon Tweed, talking tough and packing Uzis as the former pageant winner who went on to star in martial arts films (it is interesting to see Tweed in more of a straight role than her usual soft-porn fare). She spouts limp lines like "I'll eat a tub of Ben & Jerry's Jerry Garcia ice cream" and, after beating in the head of wrestler Roddy Piper (as bad-guy "Ice") with a satchel of ice cubes, "I iced Ice." On the outskirts is a hapless Robert Davi as a gimp-legged former State Department embassy security specialist who was hired and fired by the Senator after his daughter was taken hostage and who, naturally, in addition to talking big throughout the movie, manages to hang underneath a scenic elevator, horn in on the rooftop action, and get wounded near the end. John Colicos plays the cliché, all-bad Senator. Computer and bomb wizardry is thrown in as well, of course.

The large-scale, high-stakes plot, some cheesy elements, and some recognizable actors create some interest and nudge the movie above one star. But none of this is an excuse for the glib, sloppy "reviews" that give the movie an easy pass, saying, "come on, guys, this is supposed to be bad." That kind of shallow assessment, and the lazy, unintelligent flicking of the "not helpful" button on any review that refuses to settle for it, does nothing but contribute to the impression that moviegoers are suckers. The many other reviews have it right that the writing and acting in this movie are half-baked and half-hearted. As a result, the movie does not even manage to be bad in a fun-to-watch way. Instead, it ends up feeling like a thin, overblown, incompetent disappointment.

Tweed and Clay...No Contest!

[tarbosh22000 · 5/10 · 12 May 2010]

"No Contest" is a silly rip-off of "Die Hard".

The plot: Sharon Bell (Tweed) is hosting a beauty pageant when Oz (Clay) and his band of criminals take over the proceedings. Now it's up to Sharon to save the day! This movie is worth-watching for the unintentional comedy. The climax is hilarious! Dice and Tweed battle it out on a rooftop using martial arts. The sight of Clay doing roundhouse kicks and other similar moves is very amusing. Tweed also can't do karate and there's always a long shot instead of a closeup.

The acting by all is horrible, but it's not a big deal because you can't take this seriously.

If you've been asking yourself "Can Andrew "Dice" Clay perform martial arts?" Rest assured. This is the movie you've been waiting for! For more insanity, please visit: comeuppancereviews.com

Beauty contestants gone wild ! ..............

[merklekranz · 2/10 · 15 December 2009]

Wow! It sounds great. All these helpless beauties being held for ten million dollars ransom by Andrew "Dice" Clay and his henchmen. What you actually get is cartoon-like, mindless mayhem, and an hour and a half of nonstop nonsense. If it's supposed to be a parody, where are the laughs? With zero character development, no logic to the script (the usual automatic weapon close range misses abound), and high tech foolishness everywhere, the movie is both stupid and tedious. The only redeeming factor is the presence of Andrew "Dice" Clay, who transforms his condescending persona into a pretty fair villain. Everything else, including Shannon Tweed, as the heroine, is forgettable. - MERK

DTV Time Capsule

[refinedsugar · 6/10 · 28 April 2023]

This might be the poster child for 90's direct-to-video action flicks or at least a frontrunner. A 'Die Hard' clone with a high-rise beauty pageant starring Shannon Tweed, Andrew Dice Clay, Robert Davi and Roddy Piper. Never will you see a cast list like this ever again. Plus Toronto Canada passing as America, armed bracelet bombs, Shannon Tweed doing martial arts and shockingly no boobs at all.

There's not a lot of substance to talk about, but this flick wasn't nearly as painful as I was expecting it to be. It feels like it had a respectful budget and there were some bursts of action. Canadian actor Nicholas Campbell plays another good slimeball and the head of the police response is an actor from Death Wish 4 who gets killed with an ice pick.

If you strip away the familiar faces this film would lose a lot of its charm. Dice gets to chew the scenery and makes for a decent villain. Tweed who made her name in the erotic thriller genre gets to flex the action muscle. Robert Davi is mostly inactive, but gets a character moment or two while Piper is in early form here as a b movie tuff.

The story is silly, stupid but you know that. A hostage taking scenario for profit with some lazy latched on politics / revenge angle. If you wanna take a trip down memory lane or enjoy low level 90's action with some known names, 'No Contest' makes for a half hearted fun view.

Could have been a great campy/corny action-flick, but falls short

[TBJCSKCNRRQTreviews · 2/10 · 11 October 2004]

Just look at the cast for this film; Andrew Dice Clay as main villain, Robert Davi as mystical bodyguard, Roddy Piper as a henchmen... do I need to go on? Yes, the stage is definitely set for a cheesy, campy and thoroughly corny action-film... but it falls short. The dialog is cheesy, but not cheesy enough... there are too few one-liners, and some of them are a little lame as well(which they shouldn't be; they should be bad-ass and deadpan, instead they are tame and poorly delivered). The plot is pretty good, but it's too obvious a rip-off of Die Hard(arguably the best of this action sub-genre; the important-people-trapped-in-building-with-hero sub-genre) and the pacing is not very good. The film just doesn't have enough campy qualities to keep it entertaining, and you're left with mediocre action and poor one-liners. The acting isn't great, but that's, of course, not the point; this is clear for anyone who knows the names I dropped in the first line of this review. However, it's not good in it's own way, either. The characters are (purposefully, of course) clichés and stereotypes; however, they don't work as well as you'd expect, in a purposefully campy film... they just seem flat and empty. All in all, the only real reason for watching this film is if you're interested in seeing the failed experiment at making a campy action-flick that it is. It's fun to see the various B-list actors, recognizing them from either cameos from big productions(like Dice Clay in One Night At McCool's) or big roles in other small productions(like Piper in They Live) or even small roles from other small productions(like Davi in various flicks), but that's it. I recommend it only to big fans of campy movies, and/or of the actors. Otherwise, just skip this one. 2/10

Welcome to the 90's: The direct-to-video-movie!

[Captain_Couth · 8/10 · 31 August 2005]

No Contest (1994) was a strange brew of a movie. This film starred the likes of Shannon Tweed, Andrew "Dice" Clay, Roddy Piper and Robert Davi. This film was a total cheese fest from the beginning until the end. A DIE-HARD rip-off that totally succeeds on it's own. Andrew "Dice" Clay stars as a desperate man who's henchmen (including his right-hand man Roddy Piper) storm a high ride building and holds it's occupants hostage. Shannon Tweed co-stars as a woman who launches her own rescue team from the inside. Her outside contact is a crippled Robert Davi.

Mnay questions are raised in this film. Why does the "Dice Man" go to such a great length to hold these people hostage? Will the local authorities save the day? Can Ms. Tweed kick butt and takes names? How does Robert Davi figure into the flow of the movie? Does Roddy Piper get to show off his nut-case side again? To find out the answers to these questions you'll have to watch NO CONTEST.

Not bad for a direct-to-video-film. I found this movie to be highly entertaining and dismissed for no apparent reason. People please remember it's supposed to be bad and these actors don't take themselves seriously at all.

Highly recommended.

Witty, Well Acted, and Surprisingly Well Thought Out, More of a Thriller Drama than Action

[D_I_Sammi · 7/10 · 30 January 2024]

Many would consider this to be a ripoff of Die Hard, but other than locations and antagonist plotting, "No Contest" has a completely different mood. Firstly the primary protagonist is largely unwillingly and frightened, and Shannon Tweed is not terrible in giving a sense of realism to it. Secondly the villains are hilariously captivating, particularly Roddy Piper and Nicholas Campbell as henchmen with over the top cheesy dialogue.

The cinematography is also surprisingly good with competent angling and rendering. Overall it's actually fairly entertaining although it does run out of energy and ideas by the end.

Not a movie either.

[hugesmall · 2/10 · 22 July 2000]

This movie is one of the worst i've seen the last few years, remind me all those videos movie i used to take. Its directed in poor taste, the script is really really bad, and the actors too. Of course, that in this type of movies, i always like to find those little annoying stuff:

Miss galaxy contest on a 6 by 6 feet stage. The bad guys runs after hostages and shoots them without caring, but when he gets a closer view to them, he stops and takes his knife. The woman shoots the MONITORS, and the computer itself stops working, after that, when the police arrives, the same computers are back and online.

But really, taking on small stuff like that wont do any good to any of us, this movie is purely bad, and actually pretty annoying as well, i was thinking about giving it a 2 or 3, all the movie i was thinking about it, in the end i chose to give it 2, because of the finish.

Tweed and Dice, OH

[Quinoa1984 · 6 May 2000]

Andrew Dice Clay and Shannon Tweed star in this film that is a action film, but like dice's Ford Fairlane, is a funny film past all of it's action. Tweed and Dice make a good pair as the heroine and villain. Not exactly the best acting, and no nudity from Tweed made me feel bad, but what can you do. Because with dice (in a action film so bad it is a hilarious comedy) you can't loose. A-

Well It could have been worse.

[skuhl · 2/10 · 22 October 2001]

This movie had no readily apparent redeeming qualities. I watched it for a quite a while and did not manage to endure the entire thing. I hung on for as long as I did simply to try to put a name to some of the actors on screen :John Calicos and Andrew Dice Clay.

The only positive thing I could say about the movie was that it had some nice exterior shots of buildings.

That's about all.

S.

I was surprised, but I kind of enjoyed this cheap Die Hard rip-off

[zetes · 7/10 · 9 August 2015]

Cheap Die Hard knock-off that, honestly, isn't too bad. Former Playmate of the Year Shannon Tweed has the Bruce Willis role here as a beauty pageant host who is also a martial arts movie star. Andrew "Dice" Clay has the Hans Gruber role. The film makes great use of the fact that the audience already sees him as a gigantic a-hole. Clay raids a beauty pageant and takes several of the women, including Tweed, hostage. Tweed escapes and attempts to save the day. Robert Davi plays one of the contestant's bodyguards. He kind of has the Reginald VelJohnson role, but he also gets to take part in the action a little. The video cover doesn't even include Tweed but instead inserts Davi as the hero of the picture. Clay's group of freelance terrorists includes "Rowdy" Roddy Piper, who gets beaten half to death by a bag of ice at one point. Not only that, but his character's name is Ice! The movie is corny as Hell, but I had plenty of fun with it.

Andrew Dice Clay as the bad guy, Shannon Tweed as an action star

[oolatech2 · 8/10 · 6 August 2010]

I personally thought Andrew Dice Clay made this film an 8 out of 10!!! I read the reviews and if I have to read another "sheep answer" of this film being a Die Hard ripoff I am going to scream!!!! First of all I didn't think it had anything to do with Die Hard. I saw the Die Hard films and enjoyed them very much. Bruce Willis proved he was a good actor. Dice proves that he is a very talented comedian that can act also. I felt Dice showed his diversity being the villain and in Making the Grade he incorporated his stand up and impressions in this role as well. I saw an interview with Dice and he told his fans his goal is to make you laugh till it hurts so you know you saw a comedian. I almost didn't recognize him in his disguise when I saw the movie on cable and tuned in late. I was amazed at how well he convinced me he was the villain. I found myself hoping he would get away. Unlike Brainsmasher or Ford Fairlane he played his part without being the main character. I thought Shannon Tweed should have stayed with romantic comedy or drama as she wasn't convincing as an action star. I loved her in Hot Dog the Movie and she is an extremely beautiful person. Roddy Piper is the type of character you either like or you don't and I for one appreciate the talent it took to be a pro wrestler and I always enjoy seeing him in film. "They Live" had the coolest ending though with bad one liners.

I am astounded with all the "rip-off" statements that reviewers post because there are few originals for all the re manufacturing of a concept that film makers use. If you are a fan of Andrew Dice Clay you will really enjoy this film as much as I did. If he would have gotten away with his crime that would have been a unique ending instead of the bad guy loosing in the end. Gee, there is a concept, a film that depicts life.

A quick note from the reviewer: A rip off is the same plot with a twist and I didn't see where the plots were simular at all. Where was the yipee kay aye (blankity blank) and cowboy heroism????

Movies like this aren't supposed to be good....obviously

[Charlie Goose · 11 May 1999]

Even with a healthy suspension of belief, this movie is so illogical it's actually be fun to watch. I defy anyone to find a piece of scenery that hasn't been chewed to pieces. One complaint: the casting is all wrong. Robert Davi should've been the criminal mastermind, Roddy Piper the cop, and Dice the cold blooded henchman. It's entirely possible that all the females in the picture (excepting Shannon Tweed) are really beauty pageant contestants, their acting is so bad.

a B-comic

[karo-6 · 7 July 2006]

watching first half hour of this movie, i couldn't stop thinking how the level of the script (and many other aspect of the movie) would be more appropriate for a comic, than for a Hollywood movie. And not a good comic, but kind of B-comic, which might fill the last pages of a cheap comic mag. As it turned out, the director used to direct Xena the Warrior Princess TV series, along with other cartoon-like flicks. Figures.

It was funny, but mostly unintentionally. Each and every bit is either too simplified, or too common-place, or too overdone. There's rare funny remarks, like "our passes are accepted world-wide". Oh, and special effects are sometimes half-way to Beasty Boys' video clip.

Thus, it was funny enough if you don't have anything better to do with your time.

I have, so i more or less won't see the rest after i write this; while i would watch the rest of it if i was resting on the couch, but it would be a waste of my only joint i just had. (it's on TV). I wish it had started later, i'd perhaps watch it whole.