Photos
Quotes
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Tyrone : You just watch your step, McGurke. This place here changes a man.
Frank Drebin : Yeah? In what way?
Tyrone : I used to be white. I was the drummer for the Osmonds.
Rocko Dillon : Screw around with me, and Tyrone here will make you feel pain that you'd never believe.
Frank Drebin : Yeah, I remember the Osmonds.
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Rocco Dillon : Where's your prison number?
Frank Drebin : It's unlisted.
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Rocco Dillon : [fires a gun over the heads of the audience] Freeze, and nobody gets hurt!
[a grip falls from the rafters into the orchestra]
Rocco Dillon : Well, from now on!
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Rocco Dillon : Any last words before I throw you off?
Jane Spencer : Yes. Don't do it.
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[during prison riot]
Rocco Dillon : I've been watching you McGurke. You handle yourself really good.
Frank Drebin : Really well.
Rocco Dillon : Whatever.
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Muriel Dillon : How's my little boy? Getting along OK, sweetie?
Rocco Dillon : As well as a heterosexual can in prison. I don't know how much longer I can take it. How's Tanya?
Muriel Dillon : Tanya's the same. Milky, creamy skin, pouting red lips, firm buttocks, ample breasts, ears you want to stick your tongue into.
Rocco Dillon : Ma, please. I'm gonna get guy cramps if you keep this up.
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Tanya Peters : Hey, who's the stud?
Rocco Dillon : Oh, I'd like you to meet the newest member of our gang. Slasher McGurke, meet Tanya Peters.
Tanya Peters : Wait a minute. Don't I know you from somewhere?
Muriel Dillon : [putting her gun in his face] I smelled cop on him the minute I saw him.
Frank Drebin : I get that all the time. The underwear ads, played everywhere.
Muriel Dillon : Are you saying you're not a cop?
Frank Drebin : Well... yeah!
Rocco Dillon : Well, that's good enough for me.
Tanya Peters : Me, too.
Muriel Dillon : I'm fine.
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Frank Drebin : Let's look at this logically. You're the psychotic. You should have the envelope. I should have the gun.
Jane Spencer : Frank!
Frank Drebin : I know what I'm doing.
[as he and Rocco trade, the cops, everyone in the control room, and the audience all facepalm]
Rocco Dillon : All right! Here's your best picture! In front of the whole worldwide audience, this place is going up!
Ed Hocken : Well, if I'm going out, I'm going out happy.
[he grabs the woman next to him and kisses her]
Frank Drebin : Wait a minute, Rocco. Before we're all blown to bits, mind if I pull the underwear out of my crack? A man's got to go comfortable.
Rocco Dillon : All right. But that's it.
Frank Drebin : [feigning bending over, he knocks the bomb out of Rocco's hand] All right, give it up, Rocco. You're history.
Rocco Dillon : [pointing behind him] Look, George Hamilton!
[as Frank turns to look, Rocco takes the gun away]
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Rocco Dillon : [listening to Frank and Jane bicker] Jeez, you two, knock it off! You'd think you were married or something.
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Rocco Dillon : Pull out the bomb, Drebin. If you don't, I'll shoot the dame.
Frank Drebin : All right, Rocco. All right. I'll do what you say.
Jane Spencer : Frank!
Frank Drebin : Just don't harm her.
Jane Spencer : Frank, if you pull out the bomb, you'll kill me anyway, and everyone else in this theater.
Frank Drebin : Yeah. No dice, Rocco.
Rocco Dillon : Then I'll plug her.
Frank Drebin : You shoot her, and I'll empty this envelope.
Jane Spencer : Frank, think about it.
Frank Drebin : It's all right. You'll be dead.
Jane Spencer : Then you'll kill yourself and everyone here.
Frank Drebin : Yeah.
Rocco Dillon : Then I'll shoot you, Drebin, if you don't do as I say.
Frank Drebin : Jane?
Jane Spencer : I'd be safe, so would everyone else, but you'd be dead.
Frank Drebin : This is getting a little complicated, Rocco.
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Frank Drebin : [seeing Tanya in just a one-piece bathing suit] That bathing suit was never happier. I had only a second to admire the view. I had to watch out; if she made me as a cop, I'd be tonight's meat loaf.
Tanya Peters : Come here, sexy.
Frank Drebin : You're all woman. I could tell just by looking at you.
Rocco Dillon : Hey! She's referring to me.
Frank Drebin : [covering] Uh... I was talking about your mother.
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Rocco Dillon : [leading Frank to his secluded cabin] Well, what do you think, kid?
Frank Drebin : It's a great setup.
Rocco Dillon : No phone, miles from the nearest town, Playboy channel, perfect.
Frank Drebin : High stakes, but I'm here for the action. What are we going after, a bank, armored car, Dodgers' payroll?
Muriel Dillon : [putting a gun in his face] You're getting a little bit too nosy, McGurke.
Rocco Dillon : Relax, Ma. She's been itching to try out her new gun.
Frank Drebin : I know the feeling.