The Flintstones (1994)
Kyle MacLachlan: Cliff Vandercave
Photos
Quotes
-
Mr. Slate : Gentlemen, please, I can't endorse this modernization if it means laying off all those workers. Some of them have been here since the beginning of time.
Cliff Vandercave : What if I could quadruple your income?
Mr. Slate : I'll miss them. You were saying?
-
Cliff Vandercave : Son of a Brachiosaurus!
-
Sharon Stone : I'm worried, Cliff, I think Mr. Flintstone is smarter than we thought.
Cliff Vandercave : Ha. He'd have to be to get himself dressed in the morning.
-
Cliff Vandercave : Do you know what we do up here?
Fred Flintstone : Well, me and the guys have always wondered.
Cliff Vandercave : We interface, Flintstone. We conceptualize, tenderize, prioritize.
Fred Flintstone : When do we eat?
-
Cliff Vandercave : [happily] OK, Fred.
[clasps his hands together]
Cliff Vandercave : Are you ready for your first executive action?
Fred Flintstone : Ready and willing! Whatever you need, consider it done!
Cliff Vandercave : Good.
[seriously]
Cliff Vandercave : I want you to fire Bernard Rubble.
Fred Flintstone : [punches his open palm] Done!
[realises]
Fred Flintstone : What? Fire Barney? Why?
Cliff Vandercave : Well, for starters, he scored the lowest on the management aptitude test. He's an imbecile! The company can't afford to have dead weight like him on the payroll!
Fred Flintstone : But, Mr. Vandercave, he's got a new kid, a mortgage. I'm his best friend. I can't.
Cliff Vandercave : Fred.
[puts his arm around Fred]
Cliff Vandercave : If you don't fire him, I will. And then I'll fire *you.*
[Fred looks nervous as Cliff pats him on the shoulder]
-
Fred Flintstone : This is my office? This is my chair?
Cliff Vandercave : Yeah, not to throw too much at you on your first day, but this big thing here is your desk.
Fred Flintstone : My desk?
-
Cliff Vandercave : Look at those pathetic worms burrowing their lives away. Do you know why I'm up here and they're down there, Miss Stone?
Sharon Stone : Because you lied on your résumé?
Cliff Vandercave : No. Because I have vision, and right now I have a vision of you and me dripping with coconut oil on a beach in Rockapulco with Mr. Slate's fortune to keep us company.
Sharon Stone : I'm glad we see eye to eye.
Cliff Vandercave : And somewhere down there is the ignorant stooge who will make all my schemes come true.
-
Cliff Vandercave : Through the miracle of geothermal power, the raw material is elevated to the second stage where our steam-powered conveyor belts carry...
Executive in Boardroom : Steam? He's a mad man!
Cliff Vandercave : *Steam*-powered conveyor belts, carry the product...
-
Cliff Vandercave : And in the words of my beloved mother: I'm taking the money and moving to a warmer climate.
-
Fred Flintstone : [slams a file down on his desk] They made a fool out of me.
Dictabird : Yeah, well, look what they had to work with.
[laughs, then ducks as Fred throws a piece of the broken file at him; Cliff and Miss Stone burst into Fred's office]
Cliff Vandercave : Flintstone! Heard you were down in the file room. Find anything interesting?
Fred Flintstone : Yeah! I'm on to your little scam! Billing phoney companies and keeping the money for yourself! I'm going to Mr. Slate.
Cliff Vandercave : Good idea. Turning yourself in might buy you a little leniency.
Fred Flintstone : *Me*? This entire scheme was *your* idea!
Cliff Vandercave : True, but I've graciously decided to give you all the credit, since it's *your* name on the requisitions.
Fred Flintstone : I never touched *any* of that money!
Cliff Vandercave : Fred, please! Remodeling your house? Furs? Cars? A fully equipped Le Sabertooth?
[wags his finger]
Cliff Vandercave : Tsk, tsk tsk. You should have been more discreet.
Fred Flintstone : I'm *innocent*!
Cliff Vandercave : [sarcastically] Oh, boo-hoo-hoo.
[seriously]
Cliff Vandercave : Miss Stone, call security. Tell them we've uncovered an embezzler.
[Miss Stone reaches for the phone]
Fred Flintstone : [grabs her hand] Miss Stone, you'll back me up, won't you?
[glares at Cliff]
Sharon Stone : You better run while you still have a chance.
[Fred looks shockingly at her and heads for the door]
Fred Flintstone : [points angrily at Cliff] You'll never get away with this.
Cliff Vandercave : I already have.
[smiles as Fred dashes out of the office]