Zero Patience (1993) Poster

(1993)

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7/10
Let's all be Empiricists, and victors of the brain!
filmbay22 July 2008
Film Critic DELIVERED with stinging irony, that lyric is meant as a blanket indictment of empiricism, and of our abiding need to "classify and label," to "banish every doubt." Why? Because a label is a tool that can double as a weapon - what identifies and separates can also isolate and stigmatize. How, then, to describe Zero Patience without falling into the empiricist's, and the critic's, taxonomical traps? A "movie musical about AIDS" is a popular answer - one that's odd enough to be enticing, vague enough to be innocuous. But it doesn't begin to sound the depths of a work that is intriguing, provoking, amusing, offending, demanding, inordinately intelligent, and defiantly resistant of the very thing I'm paid to do.

So let's approach the picture from another angle, from the perspective of writer/director John Greyson. Now Greyson, unlike some artists who happen to be gay, would probably agree that there is indeed a definable "gay culture," an esthetic that goes heavy on irony and camp and outrageous humour and unapologetic theatricality. Clearly, all these ingredients are abundantly evident here. Just as clearly, Greyson (whose background lies in - get ready for a label - experimental video) has positioned his film at a 180-degree remove from a piece like Philadelphia. That movie, a drama about AIDS with a gay protagonist, was the product of mainstream Hollywood culture (unironic, non-outrageous, linear in plot and design), and took enormous pains not to offend a mainstream audience. This one is the product of a gay culture and doesn't give a damn who it offends. This one is smarter and more subtle, but lacks the emotional punch of the other (linear directness has its rewards), and the attendant complexities are hard to grasp at a single sitting.

Perhaps this will help a little: Greyson has reincarnated the Victorian explorer Richard Burton (John Robinson), using him to symbolize the dangers inherent in the empirical approach still taken by the scientific community toward all issues, including the AIDS plague. Burton, who toils in a Natural History Museum, is intent on mounting an exhibit called The Hall of Contagion, with AIDS as the sexy centrepiece. Just as his explorer colleagues once tracked the source of the Nile, he hopes to trace the "cause" of this disease. Causation, of course, is a first principle among empiricists. Rationally, if you find the cause, you may find the solution. Ethically, alas, it's a different matter; there, if you find the cause, you can point the finger - you can affix blame, you can isolate and stigmatize.

Enter another reincarnated soul, a gay ghost known as Patient Zero (Normand Fauteux) - the flight attendant who, in books like Randy Shilts' And The Band Played On, is "blamed" for first bringing AIDS to North America. Much of the film unfolds as an ongoing dialectic between the attitudes embodied in Burton and Zero, between serving a false cause and serving as a false villain. However, the dialectic takes the form of a literal song and dance - zippy production numbers where Glenn Schellenberg's toe-tapping melodies are laid over Greyson's thought- provoking lyrics. Consequently, the decorative fun on the surface (watch, if you dare, for an eye-popping ditty entitled The Butthole Duet) simultaneously competes with and complements the seriousness beneath - it's like tossing a colourful AIDS quilt over a dying AIDS patient. Greyson has refined and desentimentalized that most difficult of genres, the musical tragedy, and with every succeeding tune, he exponentially advances his thesis - other potentially false causes, like the "African Green Monkey" theory, like the HIV virus itself, come under his fire, as does everything from greedy drug companies to grousing AIDS activists. The film spares no one because, well, the disease spares no one.

Philadelphia is American in origin, Zero Patience is Canadian. Each is splendid in its own way, and each reflects the best of the culture (and the industry) that gave rise to it. The former is conventional, straightforward, and all about certainty, including the certainty of death. The latter is quirky, complicated, and all about uncertainty, especially the uncertainty of life. Greyson, and the film he's made, are brave enough to question incessantly, and smart enough to know that "HIV- positive" is a lot more than a medical label - it's a cruel oxymoron. He has zero patience for the blustering apostles of science and even art, and (the ironies abound) has more in common with another eminent Victorian than he might care to admit. Mister Greyson, meet Mister Tennyson: "There lives more faith in honest doubt,/ Believe me, than in half the creeds." Benjamin Miller, Filmbay Editor.
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6/10
Strange Musical
gavin69426 April 2016
The ghost of Zero - "patient zero", who allegedly first brought AIDS to Canada - materializes and tries to contact old friends. Meanwhile, the Victorian explorer Sir Richard Burton, who drank from the Fountain of Youth and now works as Chief Taxidermist at the Toronto Natural History Museum, is trying to organize an AIDS exhibition.

The mainstream Austin Chronicle cited a "murky plot, frequently weak acting and often mediocre music" while still praising the film's "spunk, humor, enthusiasm and wit." This is pretty much it. The film itself is not very good, though you can see it was striving for something bigger and better. Then again, by having your lead be a time-displaced scientist, how seriously can we take it?

The Washington Post compared Zero Patience unfavorably to Hollywood's big-budget, big-star AIDS-themed film, Philadelphia, claiming that the latter's protagonist, Andrew Beckett, "looked sick, dealt with his illness and allowed the audience to sympathize," unlike the "healthy hoofers" of the musical who, because they didn't look sick enough, seem "to deny some of the grim realities" of the disease. Now, I don't know that the two films can be compared, but I do agree that the film seemed to promote sexuality without accepting any of the negative aspects... dispelling the "patient zero" myth is a good thing, but it doesn't mean we can go back to our bad habits!
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5/10
Important but sloppy
PlanNine23 May 2000
Zero Patience is provocative, engaging and indeed, an important film. It is an accessible way to be introduced to many issues regarding AIDS. However, this musical is never very engaging. The main fault of this is the music itself, which is dated and irking.

The plot and characters of Zero Patience are involving enough. Too bad the rhythm of the film keeps getting interrupted by musical numbers that don't really seem to fit and are not very entertaining. These pieces fall flat in terms of conception and seem to want to be campier than they actually are.

In summary: it's an important movie about AIDS that was sloppily conceived.
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8/10
Talk about chutzpah!
pogostiks2 February 2007
The most extraordinary thing about this film to me is that during a Gay Pride day in Toronto, I met some people that I knew and mentioned to them that I had seen them in Zero Patience. I then began to sing the praises of this film, and a moment later, they introduced me to the friend who was with them. His name was John Greyson, and he was the director of the film I had just raved on about! Well, he certainly knew I wasn't just being polite! :0) I gave this film an 8 out of ten, first of all because of the fact that anyone who can make a musical comedy about AIDS right in the middle of the epidemic and pull it off has got balls. Secondly, he did it with an outrageous satire that spares no-one, from the devious doctors to the exploitative politicians, and even takes on Act Up members with aplomb. Some people have said bad things about the musical numbers; I found them to be full of surprise, inventiveness, humour and camp - not to mention a touch of whimsy and pathos. This film has so much packed into it that it almost defies definition. But all in all it works. Finally, although the tone is continually exaggerated, the actor playing Patient Zero managed to flesh out his character to the point where we could relate to a "real" person. And boy, is he sexy! So, I ask you, what is there not to like?
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Why you should see this film twice...
Nic-828 November 1998
Why should you sit down and watch a Canadian gay AIDS musical eh?

Well firstly dismiss all pre-conceptions - yes that does include the Canadian ones! Don't sit down expecting to see something with a grave tone and serious approach - you'll be disappointed. What you will see is a touching and at times both romantic and funny piece of cinema. If you're into obscure classics then this may be the ultimate! There is a serious message at the core of course but the flashy sets and music see to it that it's not just an extended eductional film (though it probably should be)......

The first time I saw this it was by accident.... I was sat there in the middle of the night, nothing much to watch, and suddenly this amazing *thing* happened and I was sat glued to Zero Patience. I thought it was interesting, but was utterly bemused by the songs - at that point I had not really understood the lyrics, was not well educated enough about AIDS to get the subtleties and seemed to be watching a lot of gay programming without knowing why I was... I have now discovered that it was all a matter of vested interest! Anyway...

You do not need to be gay or be HIV+ to "get" this film. In fact awareness is such amongst the gay and +ve community that I daresay the BEST audience this may have is straight people - even if some of the - and I use the phrase loosely - "plot" does alienate them a little. The irreverence may alienate anyone, but it's been produced for the most reverent reasons so don't judge too soon

You won't appreciatte this film the first time I promise you. It will leave your head full of obscure images though; if all you can remember of a mad musical is drag queen viruses, talking assholes and a 150 year old scientist hiding out in a Canadian museum (!) then this is the movie you've seen!

And doesn't that description make you want to see it? Come on! You must be intrigued at least...

Watch it once for interest. Watch it a second time to enjoy (you are allowed to enjoy political films about devastating epidemics.). Watch it a third time to revel in the romance and get angry with the authorities. JUST WATCH IT!

And if you've just seen it PLEASE add your comments to this small collection - disagree with all I've just said if you want but don't sit silent nodding and shaking your head - do something proactive!
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3/10
This gets a 3 just because it has courage
preppy-312 August 2010
A musical about AIDS (seriously) and it involves Patient Zero (the man who purportedly bought AIDS to the US) coming back from the dead (sort of) to clear his name.

It took REAL courage to do this back in the early 1990s. AIDS was still a death warrant back then. You got it and you died--that was it. Thankfully things have changed now. This is NOT a good movie. It looks like it was made on no budget, the acting and singing are atrocious, the story goes all over the place and (by the end) I was lost and frustrated. It starts off OK but just quickly falls apart. There's a LOT of preaching about AIDS and how it came about...but none of it is even remotely interesting. The songs are pretty lame. They try to be amusing but fail miserably.

I caught this back in 1995 at a college theatre (the chain theatres wouldn't touch it) and was completely unimpressed. So it gets a 3 for having courage but it really is pretty bad.
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10/10
Exotic Fruit
james-hunter-stewart13 December 2004
One of those totally surprising contributions that remind us that there are still film-makers with talent and originality out there.

This Canadian film is hard to classify - it's costume drama, romance, Broadway musical, ghost story, mocumentary, educational film, puppet show, and political soap-box all at the same time.

It tells the story of the noted Victorian sexologist Richard Francis Burton (still alive after an unfortunate encounter with the fountain of youth) and Patient Zero, the man who, according to the media beat-up, brought AIDS to North America. After three years dead, Zero returns (not quite to life) to clear his name, but the only person who can see him is Burton, who wants to use his story as the centre-piece of his banal 'Hall of Contagion' exhibition.

Nineteenth century attitudes collide with twentieth century morality. Things get really sticky when the local AIDS activists weigh into the argument ...

Gorgeous original score, singing bottoms, dancing (stuffed) animals, talking viruses, synchronised swimming, a chorus of naked men, taxidermy! - there's something in this film for everyone.

Funny, bizarre, devastatingly sad - this three-tune-musical-on-film has got everything, though not everyone will cope with the grown-up content and highly theatrical treatment.

Exotic fruit indeed: witty, subtle, and not-so-subtle, with lots to think about - well worth seeing, and not only as a rare example of how to make a musical work on film.
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4/10
'Zero Patience': zero budget, but some pleasant songs.
'Zero Patience' is a low-budget musical about the Aids crisis that actually treats the subject intelligently yet manages to be fun, light-hearted and optimistic. The film is targeted for an audience of gay males (or, at least, people who enjoy watching male nudity) but I liked it anyway.

The title is a wordplay on Patient Zero -- the gay man who allegedly brought Aids to North America -- and the fact that people hoping for an Aids cure are tired of waiting: they've got zero patience. Near the climax of the film, Sir Richard Burton performs the title song with his friends: "What's the time?" "Zero Hour." "How much patience?" "None." Earlier, another song (performed by the titular patient) has a chorus in French that translates as "I know, I know, I know that I don't know."

This Richard Burton is not the Welsh actor but rather the 19th-century explorer and linguist, who (according to this movie) stumbled into the Fountain of Youth and is still alive. (Played by an actor who looks nothing like the historic Sir Richard Burton.) I expected this movie's dialogue to mention that the real Sir Richard had himself circumcised in adulthood so that he could pass for an Arab in order to visit Mecca.

I never fault any movie for having a low budget, but I do get annoyed when low-budget filmmakers try to tell a story that really requires higher production values. In 'Zero Patience', one musical number is performed aboard an airliner in flight: but there are only four passengers and one stewardess (Dianne Heatherington), so the nearly-empty cabin -- a set that would have impressed me in its own right -- looks ridiculous. Ironically, if they'd filled the set with more actors, they could have got away with a cheaper set.

Similarly, at this film's climax, Burton and his friends attempt a civil disobedience ... but the action really cries for a crowd of rebels, not the handful shown here.

I was also annoyed that this movie is so deeply in Political Correctness territory. We're not supposed to use the phrase 'Aids cases' because it's demeaning. We can't say 'Aids victims' or 'Aids patients' because that's judgmental. For a while, the accepted phrase was 'people with Aids' (PWA) but even that became taboo. Now we're required to say 'persons living with Aids', abbreviated as PLWA. During the airliner sequence, Heatherington identifies her employer as 'PLWA Airlines'. If she had said 'PWA Airlines', this would have been a clever and funny pun on TWA, a real airline. But she had to weaken the pun for the sake of political correctness, changing it to PLWA. This is the same sort of stupidity that makes me look a racist if I say 'coloured people' but I get credit for being enlightened if I say 'people of colour'.

The cast of 'Zero Patience' -- some of them quite talented, others less so -- seem a bit too impressed with their own alleged audacity. Still, it took some guts to tackle this particular subject in this particular way. My rating: 4 out of 10, and here's hoping that 'Zero Patience' will become a period piece when Aids is curable.
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9/10
Nothing wrong with that.
tvoice5 March 2004
This is one crazy musical. AIDS the musical. It's so far from my usual taste in films...not that there is anything wrong with that...but just not my thing. USUALLY. But I had a friend who took me unaware and I found the music and strange visuals very appealing. I still get songs from the film stuck in my head out of the blue. It's amazingly catchy. And the characters are very sympathetic. I found myself really getting into something that I'd probably skip if I knew what it was about. I highly recommend this. Watch once to see how crazy it is. Then when you MUST hear the music again you'll find yourself seeking it out again. I would recommend you buying it since it's extremely hard to find the soundtrack or video. And not a sign of any DVD yet.
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2/10
To late to do any good.
jasonshaw-331-94670731 March 2012
I so wish I had a glass or two of whatever they were drinking when they thought up the idea of Zero Patience, I mean, hey now, a happy gay musical about how HIV started, with talking arseholes, ghost conversations, no illness, lie about who does and doesn't support AIDS research, alienate most people add dance numbers, songs, oh and don't forget bringing back to life a Victorian adventure pretending he's 170 years old and if people don't like it, pretend it's a satirical parody!

It was made in the late 80's and had it come out then, it would have really set straight some of the common misconceptions about AIDS, however it didn't reach a mass audience until the mid 1990's, which by that time society understood HIV / AIDS a lot better. It was too late to do any good and just confused a whole load more!

Read more and find out where this film made it in the Top 50 Most Influential Gay Movies of All Time book, search on Amazon for Top 50 Most Influential Gay Movies of All Time
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8/10
Audacious
Franco-LA16 August 2007
I've seen nearly all of John Greyson's films and shorts and enjoyed every single one of them; this was a film I was interested in seeing again and purchased the DVD once it became available, so I'm likely not the most unbiased reviewer. However, this enjoyment is based on the movies themselves, their audacious vision and the innate originality of the filmmaker, not from any personal connection to him or to anyone else who appeared in or worked on any of the films.

Patient Zero is perhaps the original of his films because of the treatment of the subject matter. Unfortunately, this is also perhaps the films biggest failing: where the film appears most dated and reflects inaccurate information deals with both HIV and AIDS. However, despite this, the film merits viewing and is highly recommended because some of the subject matter (fear, mistrust, scientific and historical abuse versus education, etc.) are rendered intelligently and well, and in a highly unique and entertaining manner.

Well worth renting and well worth repeated viewings.
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10/10
An enchanting musical comedy with an unlike subject matter...
crackersbonkers14 September 2000
Zero Patience is a musical comedy about AIDS. Yet this wonderful film by Canadian indie-film making god, John Greyson, is more than it seems; Zero Patience tackles such subjects as homophobia, AIDS, the life of Sir Richard Francis Burton, and the ignorance that still exists about how AIDS came, and spread, through North America-- all wrapped up in a good old fashioned love story of boy meets boy. Instead of being preachy and dictating, Greyson captures the beauty of life, death and love, while expressing a powerful social message. All in a musical format which is all too often overlooked in the 90's, and brings back the movie-musical era of the 40's. It's funky soundtrack and colorful cast will entertain viewers from the opening credits. Zero Patience is quite possibly the most outrageous and original movie you will ever see.
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9/10
Excellent, witty, silly, serious, goofy, and...Canadian. Eh?
dave_panepinto23 March 2005
I was introduced to this film (yes, FILM) by a professor of film at Texas A&M University. I know, most would think that those two clash: a queer film at one of the most conservative "schools" in the country, but she's a lesbian.

The music still entertains me, and "Just Like Scheherazade" is such a touching song.

As a gay man with AIDS, this film is radical, emphatically hilarious and exudes the attitude that those with this disease need to embrace. Don't sit around waiting to die...laugh at yourself. And make a musical!

Anywho. Word is that "Zero Patience" will FINALLY be released in the U.S. on May 31, 2005! It will have two music tracks and a bonus music video.

VideoETA informed me that it would be May 17, but both TLA Video and Amazon claim the 31st. Either way, it's coming, and about time, too!
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10/10
one big party... watch it!
Waibex18 April 1999
I always say that I don't have a favorite movie, but this is probably it. This is actually THE movie that made me fall in love with and get interested in all the following: movies, gay issues, AIDS issues, talented people (like John Greyson!). It's also the movie that brought me closest to believing in fate: I saw late one night when I was letting myself go to bed late for some reason, and the VCR just happened to be recording, and I really don't know why I didn't stop it, and it was by chance that the tape was long enough.... now if there is a destiny or anything like it, that's the closest there is to it! This movie is good, and so amazing, that I don't even know how I managed to write that stuff up there. Ignore all above. Just go watch this movie!!!
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A Thought-provoking, powerful musical.
tarka0029 September 2001
I saw this film last year and was struck by it's power. The movie relates the story of patient "Zero" - the first known carrier of the AIDS virus - who appears throughout the course of the film as a ghost. It's a moving, surreal film.
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10/10
Three--Two--One-- Zero Patience is great from start to finish
W'wardHo28 March 1999
You do NOT have to watch this film more than once to appreciate it (although it gets better every time)! The genius of Greyson is not just an acquired taste. "Zero Patience" is witty, rich, profound, and hilarious the first time you see it.
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10/10
One of the funniest movies I have ever seen
org1andrew31 December 2013
I couldn't stop laughing for most of this movie. Each time I started to settle down, a new joke or song or something would come about and kill me again and again.

I'm straight and have barely seen any queer cinema, and this is so far out there I don't even know what to think. Brilliant.

The boner in the shower song was my favourite part, makes me want to try out a gay bath house.

And the super square and straight clueless scientist is an almost perfect resemblance to all straight people I know, including myself.

Creative genius!!!!!!
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10/10
Gay men's "Rocky Horror" meets "Grease"
ButtNFly16 September 1998
I saw this film a long time ago, and at the time, didn't get it at all. I am a firm believer of second chances. And I'm glad I did! Sure, the sets are bad, the lighting is off, and sometimes the dialog can get a little tiresome, but have you tried watching ANY musical more than a few times and NOT seen that? The music is actually fun. I bought the CD and have been listening quite a bit. It makes a whole different movie if you and actually understand what's being sung. Give it a shot, you won't fence post on this one. It's either a love or a hate. Basic Plot: The "first known case of HIV" comes back as a ghost to try and clear his name through the believed to be dead, Sir Richard Burton (The sex book guy, not Elizabeth's husband). It feels a lot like Lewis Carroll is in there when Miss HIV sings to Zero about his not being the first, but it's all wrapped up in a great package and brought lovingly to the screen by people who cared enough to actually make the film. Have fun!
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8/10
A Flawed yet Refreshing take on AIDS Epidemic
akoaytao123422 October 2023
Zero Patience is a dramedy-slash-PSA musical that tells the story of a 19th sexologist who drink the waters from the fountain of youth. Now, still alive in the modern world, he tries to understand the life of the man the media labelled as Patient Zero for an exhibit in a museum he works at. As he harasses an ACT UP group composed of people who personally knew this patient, Patient Zero's soul awakens and tries to get in with the documentary AND ultimately has a relationship with the sexologist.

This is an insane plot to summarize.

This film is simply insane. It goes full force reminiscing the great John Waters BUT is sadly riddled technical difficulties. The writing - especially is not the best. The musical parts is weak AND lacks that certain oomph in the dialogue. There is barely any acting to be frank. The direction is very amateurish especially in the musical moments of the films. IT was just a big undertaking for this low budget.

BUT I still could not really put it fully down.

Greyson's film is just full of wonder AND meaning. What it fails technically, it rises on thematically and in ambition. It is an early example of escapist gay text that is otherworldly AND feels modern because the text is uniquely refreshing. It celebrates the impending doom of these characters AND enliven their personalities. It never wants to limit the expectation of WHAT the AIDS narrative tends to be: fatalistic tragedies BUT puts up that they are: Human - Sick AND who just want to live their life to the fullest.

Highly recommended even though highly flawed. A highly underseen film of Gay Cinema.
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