Benny & Joon (1993)

Aidan Quinn: Benny Pearl

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Quotes 

• Sam : How sick is she?

  Benny : She's plenty sick. Now listen to me, I've been doin' some thinkin'...

  Sam : Because, you know, it seems to me that, I mean, except for being a little mentally ill, she's pretty normal.

• Joon : She was given to fits of semi-precious metaphors.

  Benny : The woman is a housekeeper, Joon, not an English professor.

• Benny : Hey. Where's Sam?

  Joon : I didn't mean to kick him out. I mean, I didn't kick him out, he just - he just left.

  Benny : Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What - What happened? Did something happen?

  Joon : He just - he just left. He was - he was in the air and-and-and - with a thing and - that was really loud. It was really loud. And all- I-I just kept seeing... He didn't mean to do it.

  Benny : Do it? What? What- Did he- What did he do?

  Joon : He cleaned the house.

• Joon : Should we let him in?

  Benny : Yeah, before someone slaps a stamp on him and sends him to Guam.

• Joon : He can really cook, can't he?

  Benny : Uh, yeah. Although for grilled cheese, I mighta used a wool setting.

  Joon : That's what I told him.

  Benny : Really? What-what did he use?

  Joon : Rayon.

  Benny : Mm.

  Joon : Silk would have been too soggy. Cotton would have...

  Benny : Would have burned it.

  Joon : Right. Fortunately, he consulted me before giving it steam. I was four square against it.

• Joon : I lost...

  Benny : What's in the pot?

  Joon : A cousin.

• Benny : I hope you're happy... I hope you're happy with what you have done to her.

  [throws Sam against wall] 

  Benny : You just stay the hell away from my sister.

  Sam : [shakes his head]  No... no.

  Benny : You wanna know why everyone laughs at you, Sam? Because you're an idiot. You're a first-class *moron*.

  [lets go of Sam. Pauses] 

  Sam : [nodding head while stumbling slowly away]  You're scared, Benny.

  Benny : I'm *what*?

  Sam : You're scared. I can see it... And I know why. I used to look up to you. But... uh... now I can't look at you at all.

  [walks out of hospital] 

• Benny : You can't bet a human being!

• Benny : So why'd you leave?

  Ruthie : L.A.? I wasn't that good of an actress.

  Benny : Well, that's not how Sam tells it. He's raving about you.

  Ruthie : Yeah, well, he's sweeter than he is judgmental. How long have you known him?

  Benny : Sam? Uh, 72 hours.

  Ruthie : Be serious.

  Benny : I am... serious.

  Ruthie : Really?

  Benny : I'm always serious. I'm too serious.

• Sam : I'm Sam.

  Benny : So I hear. I'm Benny.

  Sam : With an 'n'?

  Benny : Yea two of 'em. This is Joon.

  Sam : With an 'n'?

  Joon : One. You're out of your tree.

  Sam : It's not my tree.

• [last lines] 

  Ruthie : Haven't we tried this before?

  Benny : [presenting flowers]  Yeah, but my life's a lot less complicated now.

  Ruthie : Is Joon inside? Yeah.

  Benny : Yeah? OK...

  [brings flowers inside and sees Joon "ironing" cheese sandwiches with Sam] 

• Joon : Why do you hate me so much?

  Benny : I don't hate you.

  Joon : You need me to be sick.

• [first lines] 

  Randy Burch : So we're planning our next vacation, right? I want Australia, she wants Italy. I like snorkeling, she likes garlic. All of a sudden, out of nowhere, she says to me: Do I need her? Jesus, Benny. What kind of a question is that? I mean, "need?" What does it really mean to need someone?

  Eric : Benny, fuel line!

  [and the phone begins ringing] 

  Benny : Hey Waldo, could you answer that phone?

  Waldo : Hello?

  UPS Man : [walks in]  I need a check, Benny. COD.

  Benny : In a minute. Meet me in the office.

  UPS Man : All right...

  Benny : [about Randy's cigarette]  Whoa! Put that out! I got a fuel line broke.

  Waldo : Hey, Benny. Joon's on the phone again.

  Benny : Well, tell her I'll call her back. Find out what she wants.

  Waldo : It's an emergency. She says you're runnin' low on Peanut Butter Super Chunks.

  Benny : [under his breath]  An emergency...

• Benny : I can't be worried about you knocking another housekeeper into retirement. First, it was Mrs. Larkspur.

  Joon : A woman deeply and hygienically disturbed. Her hair smelled.

• Benny : You got a roommate? When'd you get a roommate?

  Mike : Since last week. My cousin pounded into town and life's gone from heaven to hell in seven days.

• Joon : You're out of your tree.

  Sam : It's not my tree.

  Benny : I think I need a beer.

• Benny : D'you ever get to the point in your life where nothin' makes any sense?

• Benny : Where's Waldo? Is he not here yet?

• Dr. Garvey : Joon tells me he's a man.

  Benny : Well, you know Joon, how flowery she gets with words.

  Dr. Garvey : So she's lying? I mean, is it a man or isn't it?

  Benny : Well - yes, technically. He's really just a guy.

• Benny , Joon : [singing]  The melodious songs of the blessed, And our spirits shall sorrow no more, Not a sigh for the blessing of rest, In the sweet by-and-by, We shall meet on that beautiful shore, In the sweet by-and-by, We shall meet on that beautiful shore...

• Benny : *You* are crazy!

  Joon : I am not crazy.

• Benny : Do you realize you could be the next Buster Keaton?

• Ruthie : Do you want to come in for a while? I - um - I got that beer waiting for you.

  Benny : You know what? I should probably go.

  Ruthie : Okay.

  Benny : Listen. Can I - can I tell you somethin'?

  Ruthie : What?

  Benny : Um - you see, my life is just real - complicated, and...

  Ruthie : Gimme a break, Benny. I just offered you a beer, okay?

• Joon : [observing Sam sitting and sulking on top of a neighborhood mail box]  Maybe I should invite him back in.

  Benny : Yeah, before someone gets sticks a stamp on his head and mails him to Guam.