- May-Alice Culhane: I can't have sex I can feel... unless I really get into blowjobs.
- [Looks at Chantelle]
- May-Alice Culhane: Sorry. You're probably some big Christian and I just put my foot in my mouth.
- Chantelle: It's none of my business what you put in your mouth, Ms. Culhane.
- May-Alice Culhane: [sarcastically to her nurse who is scrubbing down the walls] It's important that we have clean walls. I'll be climbing them soon.
- May-Alice Culhane: His wife's not worried.
- Chantelle: Should she be?
- May-Alice Culhane: Why worry about some cripple who's got a freezer compartment for a pussy.
- Chantelle: Don't be like that.
- May-Alice Culhane: [to Denita about a photograph she took of Chantelle] It's easier to get a smile out of an alligator than it is to get one from your mother.
- Nina: [reciting the only line of dialogue she had in her first movie] I didn't ask for the anal probe.
- May-Alice Culhane: I am not ready for this. When I get stronger I will quit drinking.
- Chantelle: If you keep drinking you won't get any stronger.
- Chantelle: Are you going to do something to get stronger?
- May-Alice Culhane: Why would I want to do that?
- Chantelle: Because the next one may not be so nice as me.
- May-Alice Culhane: Right. And you're Florence fuckin' Nightingale.
- Drushka: You eat now.
- May-Alice Culhane: What exactly is that?
- Drushka: Kascha. Big fiber. It's good for stool.
- May-Alice Culhane: Yes. It looks like it has something to do with that.
- [first lines]
- May-Alice Culhane: [her soap opera character Scarlet as she watches the show on television] It felt so strange. All I remember is that I wasn't happy. Was I?
- May-Alice Culhane: This visit is just something my business manager cooked up with the insurance company.
- Louise: Am I going to meet this guy, this business manager?
- May-Alice Culhane: I'm out of business.
- [last lines]
- May-Alice Culhane: Chantelle...
- Chantelle: Yeah?
- May-Alice Culhane: You *are* going to have to learn how to cook.
- May-Alice Culhane: [awakening to discover she has been wearing the same clothes for several days] I kind of gross you out, don't I.
- Chantelle: [sarcastically] Is this a trick question?