Jeff Bergman: Bugs Bunny, Elmer Fudd, Yosemite Sam, Daffy Duck, Porky Pig
Quotes
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Bugs Bunny : It's no use, I just can't sleep. My delicate inner sense of danger tells me there's something fatally foreboding in the atmosphere. Elmer Fudd was a pale stereotype of his former self. Even paler than the original, if that's possible. And Sam wasn't Sam but an unreasonable facsimile thereof, a not so incredible insinuation. And that duck, sure, it looked like a duck and quacked like a duck.
[the carrot Bugs Bunny accepted from Daffy rolls off a desk onto his floor, cracks open like an egg and out comes an alien rabbit]
Bugs Bunny : [after feeling three light taps on a shoulder] Yeeesss?
Pale Stereotype of Bugs : [brandishing an axe] Eh, what's up doc?
[Bugs then runs away, screaming, then stops long enough to speak to the audience]
Bugs Bunny : You know something, folks? This is the scariest part of the picture.
[resumes running and screaming, the Looney Tunes closing begins, but Bugs Bunny stops it, lifting the film back up]
Bugs Bunny : Wait, hold it! You don't think I would let it end that way, do you?
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Bugs Bunny : [Bugs sees second bunch of weird alien carrots] Gee, what strange looking wild cactus carrots. Oh well.
[voiceover]
Bugs Bunny : I didn't realize that I left ol' Sam in the lurch like that. I couldn't wait, I had a pressing appointment in duck hunting country.
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Pale Stereotype of Bugs : [brandishing an axe, ready to chop with] Eh, what's up, doc?
Bugs Bunny : Give me that. Get in the sack, evil twin, I've got plans for you.
Pale Sterotype of Elmer Fudd : [comes up on rolling legs, like a unicycle] I'm hunting wabbits, I'm hunting wabbits, I'm hunting wabbits.
Bugs Bunny : Over here, darling, your rabbit's right in this bag.
Pale Stereotype of Yosemite Sam : Racken fracken varmint, racken fracken varmint, racken fracken varmint.
Bugs Bunny : This way, deadpan, don't dilly dally.
Pale Stereotype of Daffy : [going from right to left and repeating] You're despicable! you're despicable! you're despicable!
Bugs Bunny : [after capturing all of them & putting them into a sack] Oh, Margaret, what dopey dopplegangers.
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Bugs Bunny : [speaking of Elmer Rudd] He likes me, he really likes me.
Bugs Bunny : [speaking Yosemite Sam] I never realized that so many people wanted to kill me.
Elmer Fudd : Come out of thewe, you wetch!
[Closing Credits begin. A fraud Porky Pig, apparently from the planet, "Noodnik", starts to come out of a Warner Brothers' Looney Tune and Merry Melody drum hole. As it started to speak, Bugs Bunny recognizes it to be a counterfeit and quickly immediately kicked it out it of the way and put the original Porky Pig in]
Bugs Bunny : Oh, no you don't!
Porky Pig : [after Bugs disposed of the counterfeit and much slower speaking pig, Porky Pig always stutters, and says his long time closing line of] Th-th-that's all folks!
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Bugs Bunny : It all began in a vast uncharted region of outer space. A whole flock of strange looking carrots drifting in space for billions of years, were floating down toward the Earth. But I didn't know it at the time. As far as I was concerned it was just another typical day, except that I was late to work.
[Very first line and quote, as Opening Credits near its completion]
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Bugs Bunny : [Bugs sees first bunch of weird alien carrots] Gee, what strange looking carrots. Oh well.
[voiceover]
Bugs Bunny : I should've known right then that there was something screwy about those carrots. But gosh, I didn't have time to think. I had a date out west with a fiery redhead!
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Bugs Bunny : [Bugs sees third bunch of weird alien carrots] Gee, what strange looking... aw, you know!
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Bugs Bunny : Now maybe if I get rid of these robot retreads, then the genuine articles would come back. Gee, I don't know, but it just might work.
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Pale Sterotype of Elmer Fudd : [deadpan] Be vewy, vewy quiet I'm hunting wabbits.
Bugs Bunny : Da-da-da-ta-ta! Here I am, here's your wabbit! What'll it be today wabbit stew?, wabbit cutwets?
Pale Sterotype of Elmer Fudd : I'm hunting wabbits.
Bugs Bunny : Okay, fair enough but you'll have to catch me foist!
Pale Sterotype of Elmer Fudd : Be vewy, vewy, quiet, vewy quiet, vewy quiet.
Bugs Bunny : There was something different about him, but I couldn't quite put my finger on it,
[Bugs snaps a thumb and finger, of right hand, at the replacement]
Bugs Bunny : he had a big dopey grin on his face and seemed could it be badly drawn!
[Bugs knocks on the replacement's head]
Bugs Bunny : Hey what's coming off here don't you want to chase me?
Pale Sterotype of Elmer Fudd : Hewwo, I want to spwead sunshine, whereever I can, I can, I can.
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Pale Stereotype of Yosemite Sam : No, varmint. I don't wanna massacre ya. I'm a kinder, gentler Sam.
Bugs Bunny : Oh brother!
Pale Stereotype of Yosemite Sam : I like you and I think it's plum hilarious when you bamboozle me off this here cliff!
[the Pale Stereotype of Yosemite Sam then jumps off the cliff, almost like suicide, to Earthlings]
Bugs Bunny : Man, that's one for Ripley's!
Pale Stereotype of Yosemite Sam : [Sam returns and unflattens himself] You see rabbit, I'm your friend. Now be a nice critter and bring home one of these wild cactus carrots, they're good for ya, for ya, for ya.
Bugs Bunny : I didn't even know he liked ve-ge-tables.
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Pale Stereotype of Daffy : [Looking and moving like a puppet while his body occasionally disappears and reappears] Bugsy old pal, I want you to know that I enjoyed our little tay ta tays over the years.
[Daffy's beak is now shows part of a human being's lips, when speaking]
Pale Stereotype of Daffy : But now, it's all over it doesn't matter anymore.
[repeatedly pointing at Bugs]
Pale Stereotype of Daffy : You win, it is duck season. I admit it.
[He walks away with his face, almost sliding off its head]
Pale Stereotype of Daffy : [Shuffling out into the open] Fellas, the rifles!
[Pale Stereotype of Daffy gets shot repeatedly, and then appears partially perforated, from the numerous bullet holes, through its feathered body]
Pale Stereotype of Daffy : [Counterfeit Daffy returns with his entire body perforated with bullet holes and talking with a crazy looking mouth] Ya see old chum I bear you no personal animosity just bring home the...
Bugs Bunny : [Bugs then interrupts Daffy] I know, I know just bring home one of these strange looking carrots! Okay, I'll do it.
[Bugs accepted the alien carrot from the distraught counterfeit Daffy Duck]
Bugs Bunny : So I took that creepy looking thing, but somehow I wasn't very hungry!
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Elmer Fudd : Say your pwayers, wabbit.
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Yosemite Sam : Ooo, you'll pay for this, you dog-blasted ornery no-count long-eared varmint.
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Yosemite Sam : Tarnation! Some rabbit's got his footy prints all over my desert.
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Yosemite Sam : I've a fallen' and I... I... uh, I can't get up.
