Intensive Care (1991) Poster

User Reviews

Review this title
13 Reviews
Sort by:
Filter by Rating:
3/10
After all the hype....
Weary7617 October 2007
Warning: Spoilers
I thought "Intensive Care" was quite bad and very unintentionally funny. But at least not as bad as I thought it might be. Sometimes it's somewhat suspenseful, but never a good shocker.

SPOILER AHEAD

The fun lies in ridiculous moments. But the all-time classic moment is this: Peter (Koen Wauters) is stabbed and beaten by the killer. He lies moaning in the corner of the hallway. Amy (Nada van Nie) kneels beside him and asks "Poor Peter, shall I get you a band-aid?".

This movie was shot in Dutch and English. To spare costs, all license plates are USA, and the background in the news studio is a skyline of Manhattan. Very funny if you're Dutch and watching the original version in Dutch.
2 out of 2 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
2/10
One case of intensive care you better pull the plug on
PeterKurten91116 June 2004
This infamous ending to Koen Wauters' career came to my attention through the 'Night of Bad Taste'. Judging by the comment index i wasn't the first and i am not to be the last person in Western Europe to learn that this musician (undoubtedly one of the best on our contemporary pop scene, even the Dutch agree on that) tried to be an actor. Whether he should have made the attempt or not cannot be judged.

In 'Intensive Care' he's quite likable, but he seems to be uncomfortable with the flick in which he is participating. No one can blame him. It deserves its ranking in Verheyen's Hall of Fame by all means & standards. The story of the Murderous Maniac Who is Supposed To Have Died In An Accident But Is Alive And Wrathful has been told dozens of times before, and even without original twists a director can deliver a more than mediocre story through innovative settings and cinematography.

IC contents itself with a hospital wing and a couple of middle class houses. The pace is dull. The tension looses the last bit of its credibility to the musical score, for every appearance of the murderer is accompagnied by a tedious menacing melody, followed by orchestral outbursts during the murders, which or largely suggested and in any case as bloodless as a small budget can make them. The sex scene is gratuitous but not in the least appealing. The couple from Amsterdamned could have made it work, though. While dealing with the couple subject : the whole subplot between Wauters and the girl does not work. A more effective emotional connection could have been established on screen if they had just been fellow victims-to-be, who loosen their nerves halfway through physical intercourse. I will not even grant the other cast members the dignity of a mentioning, for they should all have been chopped up into tiny greasy pieces. As a matter of fact, most of them do. The ones i recall where obvious for the genre : a pretty nurse and two cops.

Hence, in a slasher, the cavalry only comes in time to need rescue itself. The (anti-) hero has to take out the villain, mostly through clever thinking, for former red berets don't often get parts in these films; they might overcome the illusion of invincibility that surrounds the killer. Translated to the events, Wauters kills the doctor and saves the dame in distress.

No people, i am not finished. This is not how the story goes. Wauters makes his heroic attempt but gets beaten up with a fury that comes close to "A Clockwork Orange", so it is up to the girl to pick up the driller killer act and pierce through the doctors brains. Though this method ensures the killer's death more than the usual rounds of 9mm bullets, the doctor survives in order to enable IC to reach the 80 min mark.

I should have made my point by now. Intensive Care is a bad movie, which can only be enjoyed by Bad Taste lovers, who can verify Verheyen's catchy statements and make some up for themselves and that way try to sit through it. For example, the (unintended) parody value of the doctor's clown mask (Halloween) and the final confrontation in the park (the chase at the end of Friday the 13th).

However, let me conclude by giving an overview by a few measly elements which give IC a little credit. George Kennedy is not one of them. All he has to do is endure a horrible monologue by a fellow doctor/French actor and look horrified when they let him go down in flames in order to tag his big name on a stand-in. He could have played his Naked Gun part again, to end up as beef, but with a longer screen time. The finale may be one of them. I had never seen a maniac being brought down by launching fireworks into his guts in order to crush him against a flexible fence. It is good for a laugh.

Name one good truly point about Intensive Care ... Koen Wauters learned his lesson and devoted himself entirely to his musical career. It makes me wonder how many editions of the Paris-Dakar race he has to abort before coming to his senses.
2 out of 5 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
2/10
Wonderfully obscure, wonderfully terrible
Sandcooler10 August 2010
The fun begins really early in this Dutch slasher film, mostly because of the bizarre cameo by George Kennedy. Kennedy is mostly known as one of the guys who yells "I am Spartacus" at the end of "Spartacus", which apparently makes him entitled to more than half of the budget for just working one day. But damn, does he make his five minutes of screen time count. He doesn't seem to care at all about this movie and he has without a doubt never seen it, but his sheer lack of passion for his role (which for the record is an insane doctor who gets deformed in a car accident and magically turns into a cheaper actor) is probably as entertaining as the guy can get. It's also a beautiful plus that his Dutch co-stars have to speak English to him, I don't think I've ever felt more sorry for a language than in those five minutes. You didn't deserve this, English. The rest of the movie is also pretty fun because it's so technically inept, they really didn't have much money left to spend on unimportant things like special effects and competent crew members. The cheap-looking kills are incredibly funny, but they even botch stuff that doesn't cost money: the dialogues are so weird and pointless, the plot makes so little sense. Even the obligatory sex scene is funny. I guarantee you a beautiful evening of pointing and laughing.
1 out of 2 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
1/10
great BAD film
filmfreak445 July 2002
this is not just a bad film, it's one of the worst films ever. it's so bad that i found it to be quite enjoyable. the acting, oh my god, the script, you gotta be kiddin'. how can you imagine the writer coming up with things like: - a kid who makes fireworks in school, fireworks SO powerfull, that when someone gets hit by it, they fly a hundred yards backwards and explode. -a girl is trapped in the celler, the killer is trying to break open the door. she gets a drill, but the wire isn't long enough. she first makes an extension cord, oh the horror, and then, when she's done, she drills through the door and drills through the head of the killer. WOW - and there are plenty more examples like that. oh yeah, and what happened to George Kennedy, he used to be great (Thunderbolt and Lightfoot/Cool hand Luke)
6 out of 7 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
1/10
Dutch 'Bad Movie' No 1
sauron-1526 June 2005
Two houses, one street, one phone booth, one car, a girl next door, a boy next door and a zombie. This list of ingredients should suffice for a great horror movie. All you need is some blue light, ambient music and...done. Not in the hands of Dutch director van Rouveroy though!

I like to organize "bad movie evenings" from time to time. The concept is really simple: get some booze, get some film-loving friends, and immerse yourself in the worst cinema can offer. For such an evening this peace of filth is one of the best. Laughs guaranteed!

The bizarre thing is, van Rouveroy is still defending her film as if it were a great achievement. To be a witness to this you'll have to listen to the DVD's commentary track. Again: disbelieve and laughs guaranteed!
5 out of 7 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
1/10
embarrassing!!
Coventry29 December 2003
I don't know why I keep doing this to myself!! I keep on defending the Dutch and Belgian cinema and claim that it should get more credit and chances...and then they smack you around the head with junk like this! Intensive Care is a terrible production and probably the worst thing that was ever made in the Dutch-speaking countries. It's a Dutch attempt to create our very own horror franchise, clearly based on mainstrain American slasher classics such as Friday the 13th and Halloween. The producers and writers aimed really high with this, but fell really low. Intensive Care became an embarrassing product to everyone who was involved and therefore a true cult flick here. It's almost impossible to hunt down an original copy of this and it's only showed on special occasions, like "the Night of Distaste". For exactly 5 minutes, Intensive Care tries to tell a story and even to create a plotline...then it changes into a lame and low-brain slash 'n stalk movie with gruesome - yet very hilarious and cheap - make up effects. The acting of the entire cast is abominable, even though there are a few respected names involved. The leading male role is played by Koen Wauters...This guy might as well be the most famous and loved artist in Belgium. He's a beloved singer, host of TV-shows and idol of many young girls. He never ever mentions this thing he starred in, though. Like everybody else in The Netherlands, he's trying to convince himself Intensive Care never happened.
6 out of 10 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
1/10
Horror at it's worst
Floresco27 September 1999
Hello, can anybody hear me? I don't know why you came to this page, but if you're a fellow viewer of this movie: join the fanclub! This movie was so unbelievably bad I couldn't stop laughing when I saw it. I think it's a must see, it's bad in a nice way. Every cliche ever invented for a horror movie can be seen here. I'm afraid it's very hard to get a copy of this movie, but it should be in the top 10 of worst movies ever made.
5 out of 8 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
Truly abysmal
ilja-219 February 2001
Just saw this film last saturday at a locally organised 'Night of Distaste', and boy, did it fit in with the bill. We were told that most of the budget went into hiring George Kennedy; the consequence is that little cash was left for the remainder of the production, and that is very visible. The effects are truly awful, laws of nature are suspended to a level seldom seen before, and all that is crowned by a level of acting that makes the average Bangkok soap opera actor look like Laurence Olivier. Be sure to get the English-spoken version (made for the international market!), featuring some of the worst English pronunciation ever to make it to celluloid.
1 out of 2 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
2/10
Piece of trash.
HumanoidOfFlesh22 April 2005
"Intensive Care" by Dorna von Rouveroy is easily one of the worst horror movies ever made.This extremely cheap Dutch slasher flick offers some gore and plenty of absurd situations.A horror veteran George Kennedy is completely wasted as as Professor Bruckner.The acting is abysmal,the action is slow and the climax is laughable.A famous surgeon has a car accident.He lies in a coma seven years and then he wakes up and goes on a bloody rampage."Intensive Care" is clearly influenced by American slasher films including "Halloween" and "Friday the 13th" series.The killings are hilarious and the dialogs are painfully stupid.Still if you are in the right mood you can give this piece of trash a look.You'll laugh until it hurts with this one-you can believe me!
1 out of 3 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
2/10
Almost as bad as it gets
BandSAboutMovies31 October 2021
Warning: Spoilers
I can only imagine that George Kennedy's agent called him, excitedly, and told him. "I got you one of those slasher movies!"

And Kennedy replied, "Those were big from 1978 to 1982, what else is there?"

His agent replied, "But this one is going to shoot in the Netherlands! It's a great script."

Kennedy signed, clenched his massive fist and wanted to yell, "Don't you know I was in the Battle of the Bulge and was in a whole bunch of important movies like Cool Hand Luke and The Dirty Dozen?" But all he could get out was a joke: "This better not be like that movie four years ago that had a monster instead a cat puppet."

George Kennedy is in this movie for all of ten minutes, playing a surgeon named Dr. Bruckner who has some shady research going on before he wrecks his car and spends seven years in a coma before he wakes up and goes all Haddonfield Memorial on a bunch of kids, including teen idol Koen Wauters. But that isn't Kennedy any more, as the character is all wrapped up in bandages, and the man who was Joe Patroni was off to be in Final Shot: The Hank Gathers Story.
0 out of 1 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
1/10
from bad to worse
dutchthea26 July 2008
Koen Wouters is a flemish singer and presenter. In the early ninety's he tried his hand on movies as well. But this unbelievable piece of junk ended his acting career once and for all. It also ended the acting career of dutch actress Nada van Nie who went on being a football-wife a TV presenter and program-maker. I actually did see this in an ( almost empty) theatre because I used to be a fan of the band of Koen Wouters, Clouseau. I so regret spending money on it. It looks cheap, it is a terrible story and it is executed bad in every possible way. Some people think it's so bad it's funny. I am not one of them. I just found it an incredible waste of time and money.
0 out of 1 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
worst belgium/dutch movie
boem_264 July 2004
Warning: Spoilers
if you wanna see a good belgium horror movie go rent "alias". much better then this piece of crap. no wonder it was on "night of the bad taste" (nacht van de wansmaak for belgium readers). I bought the box set of it and this piece of crap was in it. the acting is OK, but not great. and SPOILER!! defeating a killer with a fire rocket what the hell was that? instead of spending tons of money to hire George Kennedy (who only is in the film for like 10 min MAX) they could have spend the money to hire good writers. because the story is awful. a mad plastic surgeon is mad because they stopped the funding for his insane project and then when he's driving home he has an accident. he then lies in a coma for a couple of years and then wakes up and goes on a killing spree for no reason (they say his brains where affected by the coma.) he sneaks in the car of a guy and then starts killing at his home and neighbors house. ANOTHER SPOILER!! koen wouters is like stabbed like 10 times (or more) and then suddenly he comes back to life with full strenght. avoid this movie by all means necessary (onless you wanna be tortured for 91 minutes.)
0 out of 2 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
dutch horror
samslambam11 January 2002
I actually saw this one in the cinema when it came out! I read that they wanted to make a sort of dutch Halloween...they failed i guess. I remember people laughing in the theater over all the gore.

Weird thing is: i really want to have a copy of this one, but it is hard to get. As a Dutch horrorfan this should be in the collection.

And i read this somewhere: Quentin Tarantino loves this movie! He took it to a cultfestival in texas...
0 out of 1 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink

See also

Awards | FAQ | User Ratings | External Reviews | Metacritic Reviews


Recently Viewed