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Martin Lawrence, Tichina Arnold, Tisha Campbell, Thomas Mikal Ford, and Carl Anthony Payne II in Martin (1992)

Quotes

Martin

Edit
  • Martin: Damn it, Tommy! We don't need umbilical cords! This is TV!
  • [repeated line]
  • Tommy: Cole... you stupid.
  • Martin: Cole, do me a favor.
  • Cole: What's up?
  • Martin: Remind me to give you an ass-whoopin' later.
  • Cole: [pulls out pen & pad] What time is good for you?
  • Martin: Ummm... how 'bout 6:43?
  • Cole: I'm busy at 6:43... but I'm free at 6:44 though.
  • Martin: Oh, all right. Then at 6:44, I'ma be waitin' on that ass-whoopin'.
  • Cole: Rent-A-Spoons!
  • Martin: Pam, your hair is so nappy Wilson couldn't pick it!
  • Cole: I'll see you in Hell, Martin!
  • Martin: Yeah, you'll be the only one down there still living with your mother!
  • Martin: Stanks a lot, Pam.
  • Tommy: My mama always told me, if she can't use your comb, don't bring her home!
  • Cole: Tommy, you dated a white girl in college!
  • Tommy: Oh, no, she wasn't white! She was French!
  • Brother Man: Yeah. I had a dream one time. I was climbin' this fire escape, and I couldn't make it to the top. So I climbed through the window of this fly-ass crib! With a big see-thru 'fridgerater. It was full of sammiches! But... but... I couldn't open the door, Martin! So I just stood there and cried man. Oh yeah! Bruh-Man cried.
  • Martin: [repeated line; to Tommy] You ain't GOT no job, man!
  • Martin: Tommy, it's all good. If you like her, then we like her. It don't matter what color she is. I don't care if she's black, white, green, or whatever.
  • Cole: [laughing] Martin, c'mon now! You know you'd be trippin' if Tommy was dating a green girl.
  • [repeated line]
  • Brother Man: I'm Bruh-Man.
  • [holds up four fingers]
  • Brother Man: From the fifth flo'
  • Martin: Brother Man, whatcha doin' here, man?
  • Brother Man: Nothin'...
  • [pause]
  • Brother Man: ...just chillin'.
  • Sheneneh: Kid, can you kiss me like you did that light-skinned girl in House Party?
  • [repeated line]
  • Martin: Get to steppin'! Step!
  • Martin: Pam, do you prefer to be called "Ms." or "Mr."?
  • Pam: Do you prefer "Jack" or "Ass"?
  • Valentino: I told you, you could super-size it!
  • Sheneneh: I told you!... I'm a lady, and you don't disrespect no lady! You better watch your back!
  • Valentino: Sheneneh, I can't buy nothin' with $5!
  • Sheneneh: You can buy a one-way ticket to get the hell outta my face!
  • [repeated line]
  • Jerome: [singing] Uh-uh! Uh-uh-uh! I say Jerome's in da house! I say Jerome's in da hou-oo-ah-oo - In da house!
  • Martin: [about Cole's lousy new apartment] Cole, c'mon now! This place is so small, that you gotta go outside to change your mind!
  • Martin: Cole, I got four words to say to you - Un, em, ploy, ment!
  • Martin: Pam, is that your breath smellin' like boiled bologna?
  • Pam: No, that's yo' feet eatin' through those shoes again.
  • Mama Payne: Oh don't play dumb with me, Gina! You know damn well what this is about! You got too much head to be stupid! You didn't even invite me to the wedding! I'm still pissed about that... Thin Thighs!
  • [At haunted house, a howling sound comes from the background]
  • Martin: That's just Pam, letting us know she's all right.
  • [Martin has insulted Pam during a toast to her marriage]
  • Gina: Martin, stop it!
  • Pam: Nah, nah, it's OK, Gina. I mean, Martin did climb all the way down from that wedding cake to make this toast.
  • Cole: See you later, Pam... my little chocolate ho-ho.
  • Pam: [offended] What did you call me?
  • Tommy: He meant "ring ding"... like the cupcake.
  • [Two midgets want Tommy to step outside with them]
  • Martin: [ready to rumble] Tommy, you all right? Want me to come with you?
  • Tommy: Martin, c'mon now! I can handle this on my own. I mean, what they gonna do? Untie my shoes?
  • [laughs hysterically]
  • Martin: You know I'm sensitive about my job, you didn't have to go there!
  • Pam: You know I'm sensative about my buck shots, you didn't have to go there!
  • Martin: There's a difference, a good job is hard to come by, but they got Dark & Lovely on damn near every corner you pass!
  • Pam: This is great. This is really, really, great. I fly all the way here with Harold Muppet and the Blue Notes, and I still can't get out of this marriage.
  • [repeated line]
  • Martin: WAZZUP!
  • Pam: Martin was the one who said Cole was a virgin until he was 23!
  • Cole: He said the stew was so bad, the homeless give it back!
  • Martin: I love the stew, baby! It looked like Alpo, but I loved it!
  • Mrs. Trinidad: Martin, don't fight this! Don't you want me?
  • Gina: No, slut, I want you!
  • Cole: That's because you don't have an IQ of 31 like me.
  • Shanise: Don't you mean 13?
  • Mama Payne: Every move you make, every breath
  • [sniffs]
  • Mama Payne: you take... I'll be watching you!
  • Gina: Struck by lightning, stay away from me!
  • Martin: The Lord know I just be playin' around!
  • Pam: I heard that, Ashford and Shrimpson!
  • Sheneneh: Oh my goodness! Oh my goodness!
  • Stan Winters: Umm girl, you got fire and spice.
  • Sheneneh: Oh you said two keywords. You said I have fire and spice. So stay away fo' I burn yo' ass up!
  • Tommy: Sheneneh, you say you're a Christian woman... yet you sit here and you lie to these people. Now you better tell 'em the truth and tell them now!
  • [the gang thinks Tommy is rushing into marriage]
  • Gina: This is ridiculous! How's Tommy gonna marry someone he just met?
  • Shanise: At a church, Gina. Duuuh!
  • Sheneneh: [shouting] Is that your wife, or is your dog walking backwards?
  • Martin: Cole! No! You are NOT cuttin' yo' crusty-ass toenails up in here!
  • Tommy: Cole.
  • Cole: Yes?
  • Tommy: I want you to testify for me.
  • [Cole and Shanise carry on as if they were in church]
  • Tommy: I'm talkin' 'bout testifyin' in court, Cole!
  • Mama Payne: Yo' applehead stole my boy!
  • Rev. Love: If I was still living that foul life, I'll get Franklins, but I'm not!
  • Martin: Bruh-Man! it's 3 in the morning! What are you doin' up in here?
  • Martin: When you're with Pam, read the signs. When you feed bears, they follow ya home!
  • Gina: There's nothing wrong with my head, Martin! There's nothing wrong with my head!
  • Martin: Cole, do me a favor. Remind me to give you an ass-whoopin' tomorrow.
  • Cole: [pulls out pen & pad] What time is good for you?
  • Gina: Where are they going to get married?
  • Shanise: At a church, Gina. Duh!
  • Martin: Cole, the next time you think about getting another place, I don't wanna hear about it. Don't even call me!
  • Sheneneh: Oh, my goodness! Somebody get me the witness protection program!
  • Laquita: (singing) Laquita Lumpkins an' her homegirl Sheneneh in da hizz-ouse! Hey!

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Martin Lawrence, Tichina Arnold, Tisha Campbell, Thomas Mikal Ford, and Carl Anthony Payne II in Martin (1992)
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By what name was Martin (1992) officially released in India in English?
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