- Johnny Murata: Kenner, just in case we get killed, I wanted to tell you, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen on a man.
- Chris Kenner: [nods] Thanks. I don't know what to say.
- Johnny Murata: How about "Don't get killed"?
- Chris Kenner: Don't get killed.
- Johnny Murata: You too.
- Johnny Murata: Ya know, it's kinda like one of those video games... you just defeated the first wave.
- Chris Kenner: Do you know you have moments when you're truly an asshole?
- Chris Kenner: Hey, she was frightened.
- Johnny Murata: Yeah, I saw you strip down for that hot tub. I'd be frightened, too...
- Johnny Murata: Listen, will you do this right? Clean? Like a cop in the 20th century, not some samurai warrior? We're gonna nail this guy. And when we get done... we're gonna go eat fish off those naked chicks!
- [last lines]
- Johnny Murata: What are we going to call this in the police report?
- Chris Kenner: How about "community relations"?
- Johnny Murata: We blew up the crime scene, killed the suspects...
- Chris Kenner: ...and joined the local parade.
- Johnny Murata: I like it!
- [Kenner says some words in Japanese]
- Johnny Murata: What did that mean?
- Det. Kenner: Roughly translated, out of the frying pan and boned up the ass with a red-hot poker.
- Johnny Murata: There you have it.
- Johnny Murata: Cop. Policeman, Understand? It's bad to shoot me. He's a cop too. It's bad to shoot him.
- Johnny Murata: You know all of that upper body strength really slows you down.
- Chris Kenner: I'm not slow.
- Johnny Murata: You didn't hit me.
- Chris Kenner: If I did, you wouldn't be here.
- Johnny Murata: Not arguing. But you didn't...
- Yoshida: Now you only have one hand with which to wipe your ass with,do you want to keep the other one?.
- [Kenner is aiming a gun at the main bad guy and is shaking with rage]
- Johnny Murata: You don't like this guy? I can understand you don't like this guy. But you shoot him, and you're scum. You give up everything you are champ, all your Japanese Warrior bullshit! And you'll get me killed too!
- [No response from Kenner, who is sweating with rage at seeing the murderer of his parents in front of him]
- Johnny Murata: Can you hear me in there?
- Det. Kenner: [Takes a breath] Yeah.
- Johnny Murata: Well? Are you gonna kill him?
- Det. Kenner: Not right now. Maybe later.
- Chris Kenner: I liked that car. And I liked that girl. And I'd like to cut off certain parts of Yoshida's anatomy.
- Johnny Murata: Ya know, you've got a fixation, pal...
- Det. Kenner: [Jonny beats up some guys to let Kenner through] How long did you study?
- Johnny Murata: Since I was four.
- Det. Kenner: Should've started earlier. That would've helped your form.
- Johnny Murata: I was four! There's nothing wrong with my form.
- Johnny Murata: I wanted to work in Malibu.
- Chris Kenner: That'll never happen.
- Johnny Murata: Thanks, that's supportive. I've joined you on this quest for personal vengeance and you've got to take a shot at my dreams?
- Chris Kenner: Malibu's Sheriff's Department, not LAPD.
- Johnny Murata: Really? Damn.
- Chris Kenner: [they've been partners less than a day] Look, I'm gonna call your chief, tell him it's not working out, and send you back to wherever it is you came from.
- Johnny Murata: Don't do that. They really don't want me back. I have a problem keeping partners too.
- Chris Kenner: I can see why. I hate you already.
- Johnny Murata: We do this right. Like a cop in the 20th century and not some warrior, we're gonna get this guy. And when we're done we're gonna go eat fish off those naked chicks!
- Johnny Murata: [about to enter the Bansai Club] I'm warning you, I don't eat raw fish. But that's just me.
- Johnny Murata: [sees Japanese businessmen eating sushi off of a naked woman] You know that thing I said about the fish? I can change my mind...
- Johnny Murata: That's perfect... I'm partnered with a homicidal maniac on a personal vendetta of family vengeance.
- Yoshida: [Opens up a beer bottle which pours out pills of some kind] Now, America can enjoy our beer *and* our drugs while watching football.
- Yoshida: How American! The backseat, the movies, the beautiful girl... You know what's missing? Popcorn.
- Yoshida: [after kidnapping Minako] Beauty must be possessed and protected. I will own you and you will appreciate it!
- Detective Nelson: Let me get this straight Kenner. You lost all your suspects because you two were too busy whacking eachother, right?
- Chris Kenner: Yeah, except one.
- [Points to dead suspect on the floor]
- Chris Kenner: He just broke his own neck.
- Detective Nelson: You arrest the nicest people.
- Minako: [Seeing her friend Angel smoking meth] I thought you quit that stuff.
- Angel Mueller: I heard something.
- Minako: It's the sound of your brain frying.
- Patron: [after Kenner interrupts an illegal boxing game] Five grand on the new guy!
- Det. Kenner: That's a good bet!
- Chris Kenner: He's Yakuza, a perversion of the warrior class. It dates back to the 12th century.
- Johnny Murata: So, they've been pissing you off for a long time?
- Johnny Murata: So shall we get down and kick some ass?
- Chris Kenner: No. I'm gonna enjoy being dead for a while.
- Johnny Murata, Chris Kenner: [after crashing a van into Yoshida's drug factory] Knock, Knock! We're Here!
- Johnny Murata: Nelson sent me. I'm your new partner.
- Chris Kenner: Well, looks like they all got away. Good job, officer.
- Johnny Murata: [the Yakuza are closing in on Kenner's safe house] We have company.
- Chris Kenner: How many?
- Johnny Murata: I'm not sure yet. Many, many!
- Chris Kenner: [about to enter a bathhouse to arrest Yoshida] Are you scared?
- Johnny Murata: [Comically leans down, smells his socks, then stands back upright] Nah!
- Chris Kenner: You should be!
- Yoshida: [Yoshida walks into Minako's change room] Minako?
- Minako: Yes?
- [Turns around and sees Yoshida]
- Minako: Mr Yoshida?
- Yoshida: [Unwraps a box of flowers and gives them to her] For the beauty.
- Minako: [Hesitantly] Thank you.
- Yoshida: I enjoyed your singing. Any other duties?
- Minako: I sing.
- Yoshida: I don't understand my countrymen's obsession with these other women. Forbidden fruit, I guess.
- [Leans down close to Minako]
- Yoshida: I find the apple outside my door is the sweetest.
- Chris Kenner: [Showing Minako how to use a shotgun] Point this in the direction that things are, pull the trigger, and they'll fall down.
- [Answers a telephone call, then goes to leave]
- Chris Kenner: Shoot anything you see move!
- Minako: But what if it's you?
- Chris Kenner: You won't see me coming.
- Chris Kenner: [Trying to arrest Yoshida] Gimme an excuse to kill you.
- Yoshida: Name your price.
- Johnny Murata: I always wanted a Porsche!
- Johnny Murata: [Holding an unconscious suspect] Should I read him his rights?
- Chris Kenner: Sure, if it makes you feel any better. I don't think he's conscious.
- Johnny Murata: [Looks at the suspect again, realizes he's unconscious] I think you're right.
- Chris Kenner: Take the car, follow Yoshida.
- [Runs off down the hill towards Yoshida's house to rescue Minako]
- Johnny Murata: Kenner?
- [Kenner doesn't turn around - continues running towards Yoshida's house]
- Johnny Murata: There's gotta be nine guys in there!
- Yoshida: [Waking up in the morning after kidnapping Minako] So this is America! I think I'm going to like it here.
- Sato: [One of Yoshida's men has performed Yubitsume after failing to protect Yoshida's house. Yoshida kills him in response]
- [In Japanese]
- Sato: How can we make this right?
- Yoshida: [In Japanese] Bring me the head of the blonde cop! That is the only way!
- [Everybody bows]
- Sato: [In Japanese] Toss the finger in the trash.