Michael McShane: Friar Tuck
Photos
Quotes
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Friar Tuck : This is grain, which any fool can eat, but for which the Lord intended a more divine means of consumption. Let us give praise to our maker and glory to his bounty by learning about... BEER.
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Friar Tuck : By the power vested in me, by God's holy church, I say let any man who has reason why these two should not be joined, let him speak now or forever hold his peace.
[silence]
Friar Tuck : Then, I now pronounce you...
King Richard : Hold, I speak!
[Everyone turns around to see knights coming]
Marian : Richard!
[Everyone, except Marian and a confused Azeem, kneels]
King Richard : I will not allow this wedding to proceed...
Robin Hood : [gets up] My lord...
King Richard : Unless...! I'm allowed to give the bride away. You look radiant, cousin.
Marian : Oh, Richard.
[they exchange kisses on the cheeks]
Robin Hood : We are deeply honored, Your Majesty.
King Richard : [shakes his hand] It is I who am honored, Lord Locksley. Thanks to you, I still have a throne. Friar, proceed!
Friar Tuck : [rising from his knees] My liege.
[clears throat]
Friar Tuck : ... Husband and wife. You may kiss the bride.
Robin Hood : I know that.
[They kiss, and everyone cheers. The camera shifts to the Friar, who breaks the fourth wall and looks at the camera]
Friar Tuck : Now get out of it! We waste good celebration time!
[laughs]
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Friar Tuck : So... you sold your soul to Satan, Your Grace. You accused innocent men of witchcraft and let them die!
Bishop of Hereford : Brother Friar, you would not strike a fellow man of the cloth?
Friar Tuck : No, no, I wouldn't. In fact, I'll help you pack for your journey.
[weighs the Bishop down with several heavy sacks]
Friar Tuck : You're going to need lots of gold to help you on your way - you're a very rich man, eh? This too, and that!
[holds up one last bag]
Friar Tuck : And... here's thirty pieces of silver, to pay the Devil... ON YOUR WAY TO HELL!
[shoves the Bishop out of a window, to fall to his death]
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Will Scarlett : It was your anger that drove them apart! It's not a lie! You ruined my life! I have more reason to hate you than anyone. But I found myself daring to believe you. What I want to know brother, is will you stay with us and finish what you've started?
Robin Hood : I have a brother? I have a brother!
[hugs and holds Will]
Robin Hood : So I'll stand with you, side by side. Until the end.
Bull : Until the end!
Little John : We are all bloody in!
Friar Tuck : Damn buggers!
Robin Hood : We finish this.
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Friar Tuck : Let us open a bottle and do our best to save each other's souls.
Azeem : Alas, I am not permitted.
Friar Tuck : Fine then, you talk, I'll drink.
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Robin Hood : Do you yield?
Friar Tuck : I'd rather roast in hell.
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Friar Tuck : [singing drunkenly] Old King Richard's gone to war, loves his wine and warring/But for those of us who stay at home, there's only beer and whoring/Play the music, dance the day, think not on tomorrow...
Guy of Gisborne : FRIAR! I'm sure you shall find it much more difficult to sing with a sword in your gullet!
Friar Tuck : Yes, my lord.
[laughs, to himself]
Friar Tuck : You pig.
