Life Stinks (1991)

Teddy Wilson: Fumes

Photos 

Quotes 

• Newscaster : ...the ceremony has erupted into pandemonium. As of yet, I'm not exactly sure what's happening...

  Fumes : [snatching the mike]  This is Fumes, reporting from downtown, and I'll tell you what's happenin'. The rich and famous are having a party in our neighborhood, and we fucked it up! Ha Ha!

  [winks] 

  Fumes : Back to you, Walter...

  Newscaster : Is this going out live? Are we live? Oh, jeez...

• Sailor : Pops ain't gonna be around long; his 'elevens' are up.

  Goddard Bolt : What?

  Sailor : His elevens! Look at the back of his neck. You see them two cords, stickin' out? They make, like, an 'eleven'. Once they're up that's it. He's a goner.

  Fumes : Maybe he'll come back in the world as somethin' better. Personally, when I die, I'd like to come back as a bird.

  Sailor : Why?

  Fumes : Ohhh, because man, I could fly free, and easy, and if I saw someone I really didn't care for, I'd drop a hot one on 'em!

  Sailor : When I die, I want to be 'excramated' and I want my ashes sprinkled in the old briny. At least I'd be part of the sea forever, and ever.

  Fumes : Oh, that's beautiful, man, beautiful. Like when I die, I want to go just like my daddy, boom! Peaceful, in his sleep.

  Sailor : Yeah, they told me my grandmother died peacefully in her sleep. It's a good way to go.

  Molly : Nobody dies peacefully, in their sleep! It's what they tell people, to make them feel good. Want to know how people really die, in their sleep?

  [Sailor looks uneasy, not sure he wants to know] 

  Molly : Okay. First, they go to bed.

  [imitates drawing up bed sheets to her neck and getting cozied in] 

  Molly : Ahhhhh, mmm... Then, about two in the morning, they go...

  [sits up, gasps, pretends to choke] 

  Molly : Ahhh! Oh! Get a doct...

  [everyone in the mission is watching her, in shock] 

  Molly : [she gasps, holds her throat, and falls to the floor] 

  Fumes : I ain't never goin' to sleep again!