- Alex Wagner: I hear all sorts of bullshit everyday, pal. You want some advice? Take your fancy clothes and your black silk underwear and go back to Disneyland.
- Alex Wagner: Look like me? You of all people should know I would never in my life wear black silk underwear!
- Danielle Wilde: Alex, don't! He's your brother!
- Alex Wagner: Why, because he looks like me? I'm going to change that.
- Danielle: Where are you anyway?
- Alex Wagner: I'm taking my brother on a fishing trip.
- Danielle: Give him a big kiss for me, all right?
- Alex Wagner: Big kiss? I'll give him a big kick in the ass, that's what I'll give him.
- Danielle Wilde: What else do you have in here?
- [pulls down Chad's zipper and reaches down his shorts]
- Danielle Wilde: Silk underwear...
- Chad Wagner: Keep going.
- Danielle Wilde: More surprises?
- Chad Wagner: Yeah, big surprise. *Huge* surprise.
- Kara: What's the big hurry? Are you, um... hiding something?
- Danielle: No.
- Kara: No? Well, that's good, because... I have to frisk you. And if I don't find anything, well, then... I can let you go.
- [she frisks Danielle]
- Kara: Now we can just forget this ever happened. Come on, now, turn around. That's a good girl. Yeah. And now... you can frisk me.
- Katherine Wagner: What are you going to do to my babies?
- Moon: You'll never know.
- [shoots her in the face]
- Chad Wagner: [after being knocked out by Alex] Frank. Frankie... what's going on here?
- Frank Avery: Chad, he's your brother. Look at him! For Christ's sake, look at him! Just take a look at him! He's your twin brother!