Dice Rules- Zero Stars I was about to write my review of Dice Rules, I couldn't come up with anything to write. This movies was very ugly and terrible. What was Andrew Dice Clay thinking when he decided to film this inexcusable piece of garbage. The first thirty minutes of the film is nothing but pointless "comedy" sketches which makes Eddie Murphy's Raw opening sketch look like Casablanca and thats a good thing. There is nothing funny about viewing women as sexual objects. Fear of women is common for Clay. Word of advice, keep it secret and don't exploit are minds with it. Now the MPAA gives the NC-17 rating to movies that don't deserve them like Last Tango In Paris and Y Tu Mama Tambien but Dice Rules deserves that rating and I hope the MPAA doesn't change their minds about it. This movie is sick twisted and one of the worst movies of the 1990's.
18 Reviews
The black leather jacket...the cigarettes...the hatred of women...let's name this guy our leader!!!
TOMNEL3 April 2011
This movie did not produce one laugh in me. Not one chuckle. Not even one smile. There were a few grimaces, not coming from being offended by the material, but instead embarrassed for this sad, sad man. Nothing remotely amusing happens in this entire picture. The first third of the movie is a poorly acted comedy film about Andrew before he became "The Dice Man", and the last 2/3rds are even worse as we get into his comedy show at Madison Square Garden. A half hour of pure idiocy, followed by an hour of misogyny...just awful!
The first portion of the film is called "A Day in the Life" and sees Clay walking around acting like a nerd and doing a bad Jerry Lewis impression. The voice he uses is ridiculous and annoying, and I couldn't wait for this portion of the film to end. The acting is bad, and the whole point of this seems to be to stretch out the later comedy routine into a feature length film. In between basically every scene of this, we get "The Dice Man" as he is today with a buddy of his giving commentary about how he used to be. These cut scenes are completely unnecessary, and give the audience no insight into anything, and again, just feel like more filler to stretch out the movie. The performances are too consistently over the top, and the material just isn't funny. It's dumb. The actual story of how he got his jacket is ridiculous, and apparently that leather jacket completely changed his personality in a matter of minutes...Wow! At least we don't have to hear his idiot nerd voice anymore right? Wrong! The nerd voice he uses throughout the first part of the movie is also the voice he uses to imitate ALL women, so get ready to hear it another 30 times...ugh!
The Madison Square Garden comedy section is the worst. His comedy covers the hilarious topics of poisoning birds, torturing flies, pointing out that Japanese people have "squinty" eyes, making fun of the handicapped, telling Mother Goose rhymes with a pornographic twist, and of course, talking about how stupid women are. Many male comedians talk about women, because women elude them, and the men are confused. Mr. Clay on the other hand, seems to see himself as knowing women pretty well, and he has an understanding that women are objects, and that's basically what his routine is based on. He talks about his sex life, and basically says that women are tools for sex. Any character trait women have he ridicules. He tells them to put makeup on because they're dogs naturally...is this funny? It's stupid, closed minded and mean, but is it funny? Not to me. For the last fifteen or so minutes we get away from his women hating jokes to the equally unfunny, but not quite as mean, impressions of people (Which suck might I add), and then he sings a couple of songs. This guy's really cornering the market. Too bad everything he does elicits more shock value than laughs, and the shock value really dies down pretty quick.
Mr. Dice Clay gets up and everyone raises their arms in anticipation for the comedy. The cameras sweep over the audience and we see eager red-neck looking (mostly) men screaming and yelling out for the Dice Man. Understandable, as they're excited to hear his hilarious comedy and how else are they going to react. Then the comedy starts, and they react the same way. Very little laughter and a whole lot of "Yeah!"s and screaming, and fists in the air. And the audience continues this way for the entire duration of this thing. He's telling jokes and they're chanting his name. Shouldn't they be laughing?? I mean, sure it's not funny in the least, but isn't that why they're here? To see a funny comedy show?? Nope, it seems as though they're here because this is the only (somewhat) socially accepted place to come and listen to rants about how women are objects and how stupid they are, and how minorities are morons. They seem to be here because they agree with him and instead of laughing, as one would do when they hear something they find funny or silly, they are shouting for him almost as if to say "You tell it brother!" And we see the audience constantly in the movie. It's really amazing!
The question that this film really raises, as does Mr. Clay's entire career, is "Is he joking?". Is this all a ruse and an extreme parody of the cockiness of men? If it is, nobody would ever know, as he seems completely serious, without any sort of sarcastic wink to the audience letting us know the guy's joking around. Hopefully he is, perhaps he's not, either way this material is based entirely in shock value, isn't funny in the least, and drags on and on. But hey, he's the self proclaimed "King of Cool", so maybe I'm just too square to get this guy. Probably not.
My rating: A Day in the Life segment: * 1/2. Madison Square Garden segment: BOMB. 88 mins. NC-17 for language and sexual jokes.
The first portion of the film is called "A Day in the Life" and sees Clay walking around acting like a nerd and doing a bad Jerry Lewis impression. The voice he uses is ridiculous and annoying, and I couldn't wait for this portion of the film to end. The acting is bad, and the whole point of this seems to be to stretch out the later comedy routine into a feature length film. In between basically every scene of this, we get "The Dice Man" as he is today with a buddy of his giving commentary about how he used to be. These cut scenes are completely unnecessary, and give the audience no insight into anything, and again, just feel like more filler to stretch out the movie. The performances are too consistently over the top, and the material just isn't funny. It's dumb. The actual story of how he got his jacket is ridiculous, and apparently that leather jacket completely changed his personality in a matter of minutes...Wow! At least we don't have to hear his idiot nerd voice anymore right? Wrong! The nerd voice he uses throughout the first part of the movie is also the voice he uses to imitate ALL women, so get ready to hear it another 30 times...ugh!
The Madison Square Garden comedy section is the worst. His comedy covers the hilarious topics of poisoning birds, torturing flies, pointing out that Japanese people have "squinty" eyes, making fun of the handicapped, telling Mother Goose rhymes with a pornographic twist, and of course, talking about how stupid women are. Many male comedians talk about women, because women elude them, and the men are confused. Mr. Clay on the other hand, seems to see himself as knowing women pretty well, and he has an understanding that women are objects, and that's basically what his routine is based on. He talks about his sex life, and basically says that women are tools for sex. Any character trait women have he ridicules. He tells them to put makeup on because they're dogs naturally...is this funny? It's stupid, closed minded and mean, but is it funny? Not to me. For the last fifteen or so minutes we get away from his women hating jokes to the equally unfunny, but not quite as mean, impressions of people (Which suck might I add), and then he sings a couple of songs. This guy's really cornering the market. Too bad everything he does elicits more shock value than laughs, and the shock value really dies down pretty quick.
Mr. Dice Clay gets up and everyone raises their arms in anticipation for the comedy. The cameras sweep over the audience and we see eager red-neck looking (mostly) men screaming and yelling out for the Dice Man. Understandable, as they're excited to hear his hilarious comedy and how else are they going to react. Then the comedy starts, and they react the same way. Very little laughter and a whole lot of "Yeah!"s and screaming, and fists in the air. And the audience continues this way for the entire duration of this thing. He's telling jokes and they're chanting his name. Shouldn't they be laughing?? I mean, sure it's not funny in the least, but isn't that why they're here? To see a funny comedy show?? Nope, it seems as though they're here because this is the only (somewhat) socially accepted place to come and listen to rants about how women are objects and how stupid they are, and how minorities are morons. They seem to be here because they agree with him and instead of laughing, as one would do when they hear something they find funny or silly, they are shouting for him almost as if to say "You tell it brother!" And we see the audience constantly in the movie. It's really amazing!
The question that this film really raises, as does Mr. Clay's entire career, is "Is he joking?". Is this all a ruse and an extreme parody of the cockiness of men? If it is, nobody would ever know, as he seems completely serious, without any sort of sarcastic wink to the audience letting us know the guy's joking around. Hopefully he is, perhaps he's not, either way this material is based entirely in shock value, isn't funny in the least, and drags on and on. But hey, he's the self proclaimed "King of Cool", so maybe I'm just too square to get this guy. Probably not.
My rating: A Day in the Life segment: * 1/2. Madison Square Garden segment: BOMB. 88 mins. NC-17 for language and sexual jokes.
Andrew "Dice" Clay, the mainstream star.
Captain_Couth28 August 2005
Dice Rules (1991) was a concert film that captured Andrew "Dice" Clay during his mainstream popularity era. For a few years, the "Dice Man" was all the rage. Misogynists loved him, everyone else loathed or hated the man. But how many people can say that they sold out Madison Square Garden? Knowing that his mainstream acceptance wouldn't last very long, he wisely milked it for whatever he could get out of it. Two theatrical releases (a movie and a concert film). The mainstream and bandwagon fans who wanted to be "hip" abandoned him. Today, the "Dice Man" is back entertaining his fans and performing nightly in Las Vegas. Not bad for a man who people thought would just fade away into obscurity.
One note about this picture. In order for it to be a theatrical release, the film makers had to pad out the running time. They added a prologue about how Andrew Clay used to be before he got his "jacket". A funny short that's well worth the rental of this movie. Love him or hate him. He's an American original.
Recommended for Andrew "Dice" Clay fans.
One note about this picture. In order for it to be a theatrical release, the film makers had to pad out the running time. They added a prologue about how Andrew Clay used to be before he got his "jacket". A funny short that's well worth the rental of this movie. Love him or hate him. He's an American original.
Recommended for Andrew "Dice" Clay fans.
This movie really sucked. And I even like Andrew Dice Clay.
smatysia30 October 1999
This movie really sucked. And I even like Andrew Dice Clay. Some other comments deplored his misogyny, but you have to understand that that is Clay's shtick. Clay was one of a long line of shock comics. Having said all that, this film was awful. The lead-up to the concert was not remotely funny, and the concert itself just wasn't funny (and I know Clay can be funny).
Funny stand-up from the most misunderstood comic ever
roll tide12 January 2003
Andrew "Dice" Clay was probably the most misunderstood and villified comic in the history of modern stand-up comedy.To the nations feminists or left-wingers,Dice was a conveniant scape goat on which to hang their typical villification of white males and their concerns in the post "P.C." world.To many on the right wing he was an evil peddler of sin and filth to the young people of this country.During the quick-burning height of his popularity(roughly between 1988-91),the Diceman filled stadium after stadium,night after night,with his unique blend of hilarious(astronomically profane)observations on sex and gender,and his audience baiting theatrics.Despite the intense media villification,Dice could not be denied his popularity;as a result he was able to begin a(largely unsuccesful)career in films,among other products such as hosting SNL.This concert documentary(preceded by a series of sketches about the creation of the 'Diceman'persona)is a product of the 1990 concert tour;probably his triumphant moment as a stand-up.This is a raucously funny test of both your funny bone and your tolerance level for out-there comic vulgarity-not for nothing was it rated NC-17.Between the sneering but charmingly engaging,chain-smoking Diceman persona and classic bits from Dirty Nursery Rhymes to celebrity impersonations that are often dead on target,this is a must for all fans of Mr. Clay.The problem is that there aren't enough of us out there due to Dice's Hollywood unofficial blacklisting following his failed CBS sitcom.Maybe Dice will oneday get the respect a groundbreaking comic like himself deserves.Rate it at *** out of 4 stars(marred a little by dull opening sketches,but stay for the great standup)
Blue-collar humour that should appeal to toilet attendants and emotionally wrecked hausfraus.
fedor824 December 2008
Watching this embarrassing spectacle was a reminder that the dumbing-down didn't start just yesterday with Paris Hilton's generation. Clay is unfunny and primitive to the bone, hence no wonder the crowds looked like as if every single American gas-station attendant and janitor had been flown to the gig to watch their one and only hero spit out nursery rhymes that any 8-grader could top given just ten minutes and a paper and a pencil.
The humour is beyond sophomoronic: it is utterly predictable and cheap. I'm one of the biggest proponents of political incorrectness in comedy, but being solely un-PC does not a good comedian make. The material, I am convinced, was specifically/intentionally targeted at the country's lowest demographics, and by that I mean the lowest IQs, people with the lowest education levels, even physical appearances. I've seen more intelligent/better-looking crowds at TV evangelist mass prayers. Watching a bunch of moronic riff-raff recite Clay's infantile rhymes was like sneaking a peak at your typical day at a school for the mentally-challenged.
Besides, making fun of invalids is not only downright pathetic, but the easiest thing anyone could possibly do; like stealing candy from a baby. Hence those "gags" were the worst. "Ha-ha, those midgets, they're so short, see!" It's amazing that even the most bird-brained truck-driver would find this amusing...
Clay hasn't even got half the charisma necessary to pull off any of these cretinous jokes. In fact, to get away with such ultra-inferior material, he'd have to be 20 Eddie Murphys, Ricky Gervais's and Dana Carveys rolled into one.
The humour is beyond sophomoronic: it is utterly predictable and cheap. I'm one of the biggest proponents of political incorrectness in comedy, but being solely un-PC does not a good comedian make. The material, I am convinced, was specifically/intentionally targeted at the country's lowest demographics, and by that I mean the lowest IQs, people with the lowest education levels, even physical appearances. I've seen more intelligent/better-looking crowds at TV evangelist mass prayers. Watching a bunch of moronic riff-raff recite Clay's infantile rhymes was like sneaking a peak at your typical day at a school for the mentally-challenged.
Besides, making fun of invalids is not only downright pathetic, but the easiest thing anyone could possibly do; like stealing candy from a baby. Hence those "gags" were the worst. "Ha-ha, those midgets, they're so short, see!" It's amazing that even the most bird-brained truck-driver would find this amusing...
Clay hasn't even got half the charisma necessary to pull off any of these cretinous jokes. In fact, to get away with such ultra-inferior material, he'd have to be 20 Eddie Murphys, Ricky Gervais's and Dana Carveys rolled into one.
Unbelievable!
mattymatt4ever8 June 2001
I can't say I expected much of "Dice Rules" at the beginning. It starts out with a series of lame sketches, giving us a pseudo-autobiographical look into Dice's life and how he inhabited this persona. He pretty much does this ludicrous Jerry Lewis impression, and I only laughed seldom. But I was glad to see Eddie Griffin, an underrated comedian, in one of his early roles. He appears as a gas station attendant.
Once we hit the 30-minute mark and arrive at the concert portion, all is made up for. Nonstop laughs! Dice delivers his trademark ultra-crude, ultra-explicit, ultra-nasty and ultra-funny humor. Those who don't get his humor, those who are easily offended--You shouldn't be watching this movie in the first place! For fans of Dice...you shall not be disappointed.
Sure, he's very frank with the cuss words, but I'm able to tolerate it because I know it's all an act. I mean, he's not even Italian! He's a Jew doing a very exaggerated impersonation of one. So you know all the rudeness is strictly in jest.
If you want big-time laughs...roll the Dice and take your chances! Just make sure you fast-forward through the first portion. Just stay for the stand-up.
My score: 7 (out of 10)
Once we hit the 30-minute mark and arrive at the concert portion, all is made up for. Nonstop laughs! Dice delivers his trademark ultra-crude, ultra-explicit, ultra-nasty and ultra-funny humor. Those who don't get his humor, those who are easily offended--You shouldn't be watching this movie in the first place! For fans of Dice...you shall not be disappointed.
Sure, he's very frank with the cuss words, but I'm able to tolerate it because I know it's all an act. I mean, he's not even Italian! He's a Jew doing a very exaggerated impersonation of one. So you know all the rudeness is strictly in jest.
If you want big-time laughs...roll the Dice and take your chances! Just make sure you fast-forward through the first portion. Just stay for the stand-up.
My score: 7 (out of 10)
Coming from someone who loves making offensive jokes...
theskulI426 January 2009
Whoa, this was awful. I felt like I had stumbled into a supremacist rally or something.
It starts with a brainless run of dumb skits where Andrew Dice Clay inexplicably apes Jerry Lewis (and I don't even like Jerry Lewis, so a cheap takeoff from a comic that specializes in tasteless misogyny is not my idea of a good time). After a half hour of torturous abysmal skititude, more difficult to watch than anything in the 4 1/2 hours of La Roue, we finally get to the comedy, which is occasionally amusing but is far too much pure, unadulterated, troublesome and hateful woman-bashing, with a Nuremberg rally cheering him on.
And that's the main issue one would have. Where someone like Stephen Colbert is playing an satirically extreme version of a character he may disagrees with, the audience is in on the joke. They know he's not really an extremist right-winger making crazy statements, they get the wink. Andrew Dice Clay is closer to someone like Larry the Cable Guy, a comedian who plays a character, a redneck, that his background does not compute with (his early performances are more akin to Jay Leno). But where the Cable Guy is merely opportunistically taking the money of redneck people who think he speaks for them, Dice is a bit more worrisome. Where Larry can make a redneck smile when he sees the couch on his lawn, it's hard to shake the idea that that same redneck is going to some home from a Dice Clay show and, y'know, beat his wife.
Now, far be it for me to penalize a performer for the audience he has who doesn't get the joke, but in this case, he's not misunderstood, he's not ignorant of this effect. He's completely, fully aware of what he's doing, of the kind of people he's playing to, and how seriously they take his work. Even the lines that are occasionally amusing, there's always a cringe as you know that some woman is getting punched in the face with every 'ow!" Every shot of the men in the crowd, they're not laughing as much as pumping their fists. Every shot of a woman in the crowd is not one of laughter or genuine amusement, but more like they've got egg on their face, like they can't believe he said that, or that, or that, and they're worried that they're getting kicked in the stomach when they get home as her husband obsessively repeats his nursery rhymes and calls her a pig and a baboon. It's a man who has a fear of women, playing to a crowd that is even more fearful.
It's funny, there's nothing lazier than a Nazi comparison when it's something you don't like, but for once, the comparison is eerily sensible. The crowd is enraptured by a man preaching hate speech, satirical or not, and you know that the predominantly white, male crowd is the kind of people who are given all the chances in the world, but fail because they're idiots, and instead choose to blame every minority they can think of: women, the handicapped, women, the Japanese, women, the sick, women, midgets, and of course, women. So they go, and he validates every irrational fear they have, and he's the embodiment of cool for them, so they listen and repeat everything he says, and you get the feeling that if he told the crowd to assault the women in the audience, and added enough "ow!"s and "bada-bing"s, not a woman would leave the building.
There's a lot of great, genre-bending, taboo-breaking genius comedians, but Andrew Dice Clay, if he is a satirist, has the bad misfortune of being too damn convincing. Every now and then, he says, "don't take this too seriously, it's all a goof", akin to what Eminem occasionally pulls during his fits of rage. But where songs like "Kill You" are akin to Andrew Dice Clay, he makes it very clear that he's putting out his frustrations in song instead of in person, and where he is cartoonishly extreme (for instance, "As the World Turns" begins with him attempting to assault a woman at a laundromat, and ends with her eating his leg and his "go-go gadget..."). Instead, Andrew Dice Clay is just extreme. Eminem, even at his worst, is brilliantly lucid, he is witty, clever, he makes jokes, splendid turns of phrase, and by his second album, was pushing buttons to push buttons, and the only people that got mad were people that missed the joke. Here, the people who missed the joke...are his biggest supporters. The Diceman has no quality in his construction. He has no tact, no skill, and worst, doesn't even tell jokes. He just says "Women make me mad, I hate them, and they're only good for sex." Hardy-har indeed.
Michael Richards was shunned for one random (and completely misunderstood) outburst, said in a fit of pique. Andrew Dice Clay, thankfully, has also been blackballed in the industry, but instead of one random moment of anger, he built an entire career out of it, and by the 20-minute mark, I felt uncomfortable, like I had accidentally tapped into a white power forum.
I bet Kramer is angry.
{Grade: 0/10 (F)}
It starts with a brainless run of dumb skits where Andrew Dice Clay inexplicably apes Jerry Lewis (and I don't even like Jerry Lewis, so a cheap takeoff from a comic that specializes in tasteless misogyny is not my idea of a good time). After a half hour of torturous abysmal skititude, more difficult to watch than anything in the 4 1/2 hours of La Roue, we finally get to the comedy, which is occasionally amusing but is far too much pure, unadulterated, troublesome and hateful woman-bashing, with a Nuremberg rally cheering him on.
And that's the main issue one would have. Where someone like Stephen Colbert is playing an satirically extreme version of a character he may disagrees with, the audience is in on the joke. They know he's not really an extremist right-winger making crazy statements, they get the wink. Andrew Dice Clay is closer to someone like Larry the Cable Guy, a comedian who plays a character, a redneck, that his background does not compute with (his early performances are more akin to Jay Leno). But where the Cable Guy is merely opportunistically taking the money of redneck people who think he speaks for them, Dice is a bit more worrisome. Where Larry can make a redneck smile when he sees the couch on his lawn, it's hard to shake the idea that that same redneck is going to some home from a Dice Clay show and, y'know, beat his wife.
Now, far be it for me to penalize a performer for the audience he has who doesn't get the joke, but in this case, he's not misunderstood, he's not ignorant of this effect. He's completely, fully aware of what he's doing, of the kind of people he's playing to, and how seriously they take his work. Even the lines that are occasionally amusing, there's always a cringe as you know that some woman is getting punched in the face with every 'ow!" Every shot of the men in the crowd, they're not laughing as much as pumping their fists. Every shot of a woman in the crowd is not one of laughter or genuine amusement, but more like they've got egg on their face, like they can't believe he said that, or that, or that, and they're worried that they're getting kicked in the stomach when they get home as her husband obsessively repeats his nursery rhymes and calls her a pig and a baboon. It's a man who has a fear of women, playing to a crowd that is even more fearful.
It's funny, there's nothing lazier than a Nazi comparison when it's something you don't like, but for once, the comparison is eerily sensible. The crowd is enraptured by a man preaching hate speech, satirical or not, and you know that the predominantly white, male crowd is the kind of people who are given all the chances in the world, but fail because they're idiots, and instead choose to blame every minority they can think of: women, the handicapped, women, the Japanese, women, the sick, women, midgets, and of course, women. So they go, and he validates every irrational fear they have, and he's the embodiment of cool for them, so they listen and repeat everything he says, and you get the feeling that if he told the crowd to assault the women in the audience, and added enough "ow!"s and "bada-bing"s, not a woman would leave the building.
There's a lot of great, genre-bending, taboo-breaking genius comedians, but Andrew Dice Clay, if he is a satirist, has the bad misfortune of being too damn convincing. Every now and then, he says, "don't take this too seriously, it's all a goof", akin to what Eminem occasionally pulls during his fits of rage. But where songs like "Kill You" are akin to Andrew Dice Clay, he makes it very clear that he's putting out his frustrations in song instead of in person, and where he is cartoonishly extreme (for instance, "As the World Turns" begins with him attempting to assault a woman at a laundromat, and ends with her eating his leg and his "go-go gadget..."). Instead, Andrew Dice Clay is just extreme. Eminem, even at his worst, is brilliantly lucid, he is witty, clever, he makes jokes, splendid turns of phrase, and by his second album, was pushing buttons to push buttons, and the only people that got mad were people that missed the joke. Here, the people who missed the joke...are his biggest supporters. The Diceman has no quality in his construction. He has no tact, no skill, and worst, doesn't even tell jokes. He just says "Women make me mad, I hate them, and they're only good for sex." Hardy-har indeed.
Michael Richards was shunned for one random (and completely misunderstood) outburst, said in a fit of pique. Andrew Dice Clay, thankfully, has also been blackballed in the industry, but instead of one random moment of anger, he built an entire career out of it, and by the 20-minute mark, I felt uncomfortable, like I had accidentally tapped into a white power forum.
I bet Kramer is angry.
{Grade: 0/10 (F)}
I love Andrew Dice Clay
MissJedahdyah26 March 2019
This is his best. I believe he is the one true comedian. This was when comedy was actual COMEDY. This nowadays from so-called comedians are too concerned w offending everyone one but our President. Thats not comedy. Comedy is about saying what we are all thinking and would love to say, and outlandish things that is just plain funny. I wish comedy would come back like this. This was the best!!!
Has some moments, but... actually, after that... YUCK!
abyoussef18 April 2007
by Dane Youssef
Richard Pryor, Eddie Murphy, Chris Rock, Martin Lawrence, Bill Cosby, Bernie Mac, Darryl Hugley, Jerry Seinfeld, Steve Harvey. What do they all have in common?
They are all stand-up comedians who have had the honor of having their stand-up acts get filmed into movies.
"Dice Rules" is one of the few to actually make it to theaters. And with good reason. Dice is one of those comedians who has a strong persona and stage presence. As a matter of fact, that's stronger than any of his material.
The very beginning of the flick where the Diceman croons is almost worth the rental price. He has such pipes, you kinda wish he actually put more use into them. He did a first-rate job in his first (and only) Hollywood star-vehicle "The Adventures of Ford Fairlane" where he sings "But I Ain't' Got You." He does the same here with an opening bit "Can't You Take A Joke?" But before we're treated to the main course (Dice in a sold-out concert at Madison Square Garden), we get an appetizer. You know, so these things feel more like an actual movie than just some tape-recorded stand-up bit.
The opening clip entitled "A Day In The Life" features a cock-and-bull prologue about who he was (Andrew Silverstein) before he became "The Diceman." Eddie Murphy has a brilliant one in his stand-up movie "Raw," and Martin Lawrence had an effective one at the beginning of "Runtelldat" where the press is airing out Lawrence's dirty laundry and kicking him when he's down on his knees.
That quickie movie in "Dice Rules," is the biggest abomination and folly since Napoleon and Waterloo. Dice has NEVER been this unfunny. Has anyone?
The Jerry Lewis vocalizations are painfully annoying. Not just annoying really, but actual torture. Like bamboo under the fingernails or death by a thousand cuts. I know he's know for that s--t (he's known for breaking into on occasion), but it irritates to the point that we feel like we're being interrogated. The people antagonizing his ass, riding him like a damn pogo stick, until he's ready to break. It's so horribly done. It's not even so bad, it's funny. It's more like... unforgivable. And the payoff (I can't believe I just used that term), is so patronizing, it's the most offensive thing in the whole movie. Not the goddamn stand-up material.
I read right here on IMDb that the whole "Diceman" character was largely inspired by Jerry Lewis in "The Nutty Professor." Fine, but that mock Lewis voice is excruciating. And the other actors are just as bad. Well... almost as bad.
Good Lord, and he wrote this bit? I was so sick, I couldn't even vomit.
Then this mini-colonoscopy ends and we're treated to centerpiece. The minute we see the Diceman pull on his luxurious studded trademark leather jacket, we know something big is happening. As if Elvis himself has resurrected and is performing for one night only. Perhaps for them, it is.
His impersonation of an Itallian accent is so thick, you could choke on it. It's a miracle he doesn't.
The weirdest thing about the film is the audience members in concert. The audience doesn't stay quiet while he tells his jokes and then laugh when the punchline comes. They spend almost every second throughout the film cheering. Every time he opens his mouth, every time he says something---anything--the audience cheers like mad. Hell, every time he finishes a sentence (even before he actually even begins to make a point), the whole damn crowd gives him a standing ovation.
Jesus, throughout the whole damn movie, the cheering never stops. Dice may the star here, but it feels like we hear the damn crowd more than him. I... I must confess, I actually someone to start heckling them. I wanted to start throwing tomatoes at the crowd.
Remember the "Seinfeld" episode where Jerry gets heckled by Kramer's girlfriend, so Jerry, in retaliation, goes to where she works to heckle her? Yeah, I wanted to grab every one of them and scream, "Hey, idiots! You're in awe of the Dice, I can see that, but I can't hear HIM! DAMN!
Oh, and you know that whole "Jerry Lewis" vocal shtick I was talking about? Yeah, he keeps doing it throughout the whole movie. Whenever he's impersonating someone else, especially some woman. Lord, it makes you want to kill. Him.
Dice's usual subjects---women, sex, homosexuals, New Yorkers, the elderly, the ill. Hell, birds and insects, even. I gotta admit, I laughed at that. Damn freaking' birds & insects.
Still, as a stand-up concert film, this one's kind of a strike-out. The opening bit is too dumb and horrible to inspire anyone to do anything, but feel pain. And the rest of the stand-up, well... if you're a Dice fanatic (and you damn well who you are), then well.. hit-and-miss.
Dice is polarizing. You love the MF or you want him dead. There's no middle ground.
So, if you are reading these words right now... this review, and ANY of the other registered user reviews on IMDb for this one... that means that...
A)Youv'e been wanting to see this movie since you first fell in love with Dice. But it's been hard to find, especially on DVD. Not exactly "Casablanca."
B)You already have and you're just curious to see what others had to say about it.
Otherwise, you'll give yourself rabies, beat yourself to death, swallow fire (and more) before you even glance at one frame at anything related to Dice.
Still, "Ford Fairlane" continues to be his best work. I'd like to see Silverman actually cut a whole album full of music with himself on vocals and maybe push back for a while on the possibility of another comedy album anytime soon.
Richard Pryor, Eddie Murphy, Chris Rock, Martin Lawrence, Bill Cosby, Bernie Mac, Darryl Hugley, Jerry Seinfeld, Steve Harvey. What do they all have in common?
They are all stand-up comedians who have had the honor of having their stand-up acts get filmed into movies.
"Dice Rules" is one of the few to actually make it to theaters. And with good reason. Dice is one of those comedians who has a strong persona and stage presence. As a matter of fact, that's stronger than any of his material.
The very beginning of the flick where the Diceman croons is almost worth the rental price. He has such pipes, you kinda wish he actually put more use into them. He did a first-rate job in his first (and only) Hollywood star-vehicle "The Adventures of Ford Fairlane" where he sings "But I Ain't' Got You." He does the same here with an opening bit "Can't You Take A Joke?" But before we're treated to the main course (Dice in a sold-out concert at Madison Square Garden), we get an appetizer. You know, so these things feel more like an actual movie than just some tape-recorded stand-up bit.
The opening clip entitled "A Day In The Life" features a cock-and-bull prologue about who he was (Andrew Silverstein) before he became "The Diceman." Eddie Murphy has a brilliant one in his stand-up movie "Raw," and Martin Lawrence had an effective one at the beginning of "Runtelldat" where the press is airing out Lawrence's dirty laundry and kicking him when he's down on his knees.
That quickie movie in "Dice Rules," is the biggest abomination and folly since Napoleon and Waterloo. Dice has NEVER been this unfunny. Has anyone?
The Jerry Lewis vocalizations are painfully annoying. Not just annoying really, but actual torture. Like bamboo under the fingernails or death by a thousand cuts. I know he's know for that s--t (he's known for breaking into on occasion), but it irritates to the point that we feel like we're being interrogated. The people antagonizing his ass, riding him like a damn pogo stick, until he's ready to break. It's so horribly done. It's not even so bad, it's funny. It's more like... unforgivable. And the payoff (I can't believe I just used that term), is so patronizing, it's the most offensive thing in the whole movie. Not the goddamn stand-up material.
I read right here on IMDb that the whole "Diceman" character was largely inspired by Jerry Lewis in "The Nutty Professor." Fine, but that mock Lewis voice is excruciating. And the other actors are just as bad. Well... almost as bad.
Good Lord, and he wrote this bit? I was so sick, I couldn't even vomit.
Then this mini-colonoscopy ends and we're treated to centerpiece. The minute we see the Diceman pull on his luxurious studded trademark leather jacket, we know something big is happening. As if Elvis himself has resurrected and is performing for one night only. Perhaps for them, it is.
His impersonation of an Itallian accent is so thick, you could choke on it. It's a miracle he doesn't.
The weirdest thing about the film is the audience members in concert. The audience doesn't stay quiet while he tells his jokes and then laugh when the punchline comes. They spend almost every second throughout the film cheering. Every time he opens his mouth, every time he says something---anything--the audience cheers like mad. Hell, every time he finishes a sentence (even before he actually even begins to make a point), the whole damn crowd gives him a standing ovation.
Jesus, throughout the whole damn movie, the cheering never stops. Dice may the star here, but it feels like we hear the damn crowd more than him. I... I must confess, I actually someone to start heckling them. I wanted to start throwing tomatoes at the crowd.
Remember the "Seinfeld" episode where Jerry gets heckled by Kramer's girlfriend, so Jerry, in retaliation, goes to where she works to heckle her? Yeah, I wanted to grab every one of them and scream, "Hey, idiots! You're in awe of the Dice, I can see that, but I can't hear HIM! DAMN!
Oh, and you know that whole "Jerry Lewis" vocal shtick I was talking about? Yeah, he keeps doing it throughout the whole movie. Whenever he's impersonating someone else, especially some woman. Lord, it makes you want to kill. Him.
Dice's usual subjects---women, sex, homosexuals, New Yorkers, the elderly, the ill. Hell, birds and insects, even. I gotta admit, I laughed at that. Damn freaking' birds & insects.
Still, as a stand-up concert film, this one's kind of a strike-out. The opening bit is too dumb and horrible to inspire anyone to do anything, but feel pain. And the rest of the stand-up, well... if you're a Dice fanatic (and you damn well who you are), then well.. hit-and-miss.
Dice is polarizing. You love the MF or you want him dead. There's no middle ground.
So, if you are reading these words right now... this review, and ANY of the other registered user reviews on IMDb for this one... that means that...
A)Youv'e been wanting to see this movie since you first fell in love with Dice. But it's been hard to find, especially on DVD. Not exactly "Casablanca."
B)You already have and you're just curious to see what others had to say about it.
Otherwise, you'll give yourself rabies, beat yourself to death, swallow fire (and more) before you even glance at one frame at anything related to Dice.
Still, "Ford Fairlane" continues to be his best work. I'd like to see Silverman actually cut a whole album full of music with himself on vocals and maybe push back for a while on the possibility of another comedy album anytime soon.
No, he doesn't....
Mister-629 September 1999
Is the Dice-Man funny? No.
Funny enough to warrant an in-concert movie? Definitely not.
And this is the movie that proves it.
"Dice Rules" is one of the absolute lowest points in American motion pictures since they decided to let Burgess Meredith do a nude scene in "Such Good Friends". But at least THAT was funny.
Andrew "Dice" Clay has been called a lot of things in his life, I'm sure, but when he was called "a comedian", I'm also sure that was said with condescending laughter, snickers and Bronx cheers aplenty.
Nothing he says here is funny, nothing he does here is funny, and the only debatable part of this whole self-destructive exercise was watching him get beaten up and verbally abused by every person he comes across in that little opening film he did before the concert starts.
He overcame though, darn it.
And the material (if that's what you can call it) is basically picking on the handicapped, the elderly, birds (yeah, you heard me), sexual practices, homosexuals and women. Oh, those poor women. What he says about women here should get him 20 to life for verbal rape.
The fact that an entire auditorium full of people (Madison Square Garden!) cheered and laughed with him. This is a sick, SICK world we live in.
Look, similar material has been done by the likes of Lenny Bruce, Richard Pryor, Eddie Murphy and even Sam Kinison but they all had a grace, they knew the moves as well as the music. Dice is tone deaf. He has no grace, no talent and not one respectful bone in his big, lumbering body. This entire film smacks of desperation. If you have the misfortune to watch it, you'll no doubt agree.
Don't roll this "Dice"; it'll come up snake eyes.
No stars, none whatsoever. If they ever decide to do the reprogramming like they did in "A Clockwork Orange", I elect Clay.
Now THAT would be something I'd pay to see.
Funny enough to warrant an in-concert movie? Definitely not.
And this is the movie that proves it.
"Dice Rules" is one of the absolute lowest points in American motion pictures since they decided to let Burgess Meredith do a nude scene in "Such Good Friends". But at least THAT was funny.
Andrew "Dice" Clay has been called a lot of things in his life, I'm sure, but when he was called "a comedian", I'm also sure that was said with condescending laughter, snickers and Bronx cheers aplenty.
Nothing he says here is funny, nothing he does here is funny, and the only debatable part of this whole self-destructive exercise was watching him get beaten up and verbally abused by every person he comes across in that little opening film he did before the concert starts.
He overcame though, darn it.
And the material (if that's what you can call it) is basically picking on the handicapped, the elderly, birds (yeah, you heard me), sexual practices, homosexuals and women. Oh, those poor women. What he says about women here should get him 20 to life for verbal rape.
The fact that an entire auditorium full of people (Madison Square Garden!) cheered and laughed with him. This is a sick, SICK world we live in.
Look, similar material has been done by the likes of Lenny Bruce, Richard Pryor, Eddie Murphy and even Sam Kinison but they all had a grace, they knew the moves as well as the music. Dice is tone deaf. He has no grace, no talent and not one respectful bone in his big, lumbering body. This entire film smacks of desperation. If you have the misfortune to watch it, you'll no doubt agree.
Don't roll this "Dice"; it'll come up snake eyes.
No stars, none whatsoever. If they ever decide to do the reprogramming like they did in "A Clockwork Orange", I elect Clay.
Now THAT would be something I'd pay to see.
Andrew Dice Clay's displays his "talents" in both sketch and standup and neither gets a laugh in 85 minutes.
IonicBreezeMachine12 June 2021
Beginning with "A Day in the Life", Andrew Dice Clay (playing himself, kind of) is a spineless wispy voiced simp who takes abuse from his wife, friends, and random strangers as he fumbles and prats his way around Brooklyn. Things change when Clay has a chance encounter with a leather jacket salesman (also played by Clay) which leads him to adopt his loud brash chain-smoking persona which in turn transitions to the stand up portion of the film featuring his performance at Madison Square Garden.
Andrew Dice Clay (Andrew Silverstein) broke out in the late 80s thanks to a seven minute set in a Rodney Dangerfield special that put him in the national spotlight leading to a deal with 20th Century Fox (from which this film originated) and becoming the first comedian to sell out two consecutive nights at Madison Square Garden. With Dice's newfound stardom came controversy from his abrasive sets and lead to blowback from "decency groups", feminists, and the gay community who often objected to his rhetoric. Dice's magnetism for controversy made many of his affiliates nervous with ABC cancelling development on a one hour drama in which he was slated to star and 20th Century Fox dropping Dice Rules leading it to be released in limited venues by indie, Seven Arts. Now, Dice has gone on record saying his "Diceman" persona is just that, a character, and not reflective of his own personal views which is all well and good, and in recent years Dice has shown himself to be rather versatile with roles in Blue Jasmine and Raising Hope often playing against his well known persona. With that said however, Dice Rules is a humor free slog of 80+ minutes of annoyance with not a single laugh to be had.
The first segment of the film is a 22 minute pre-taped segment consisting of a loose string of set pieces that show a fictionalized pre-fame Dice sporting an exaggerated wispy nasally voice that sounds like Jerry Lewis's nutty professor voice as delivered by Adam Sandler and follows his character suffering abuse from his obese foul mothed wife, a bank teller, a service station attendant, grocery store clerks, and even an acquaintance with Dice engaging in some pretty groan worth physical comedy that he's just not adept to. The short culminates with him playing a duel role as the salesman who gives Dice his trademark leather jacket (sporting a voice that sounds like Popeye) and then the short just ends. The short is painfully unfunny as it's completely bereft of anything resembling a joke, unless of course you count screaming profanity at the top of your lungs to be inherently funny.
Once the sketch is out of the way we move on to the actual meat of this movie, Dice's standup. Watching Dice's standup it's baffling to think he was flavor of the month at one point, his material is as crass and vulgar and expected which is perfectly fine, but the delivery setup and payoff for his jokes is so grating with his overdone Brooklyn persona shout "Ohhhhh!" at the end of every other punchline that it's just comes off as more annoying than funny. I think with the gaudy jacket, the coupled with this cartoon greaser image it makes his set feel like it's surface level gloss like his jacket. There's a set where Dice talks about masturbation (which should be an easy enough humor source) and it falls completely flat, George Carlin also talked about masturbation in his standup but he did it in a funny way by talking about it in the context of his teenage years (like contrasting guys who fantasized about celebrities versus girls in the neighborhood where "it might happen"). Dice's standup just seems to take profanity and/or taboo subject matter and then say it with a Brooklyn accent at full volume and that's where the joke begins and ends.
Dice Rules was clearly intended to be the 90s equivalent of Eddie Murphy Raw, but while the film brings the "Raw" it can't bring the charm or the funny. Dice's Diceman persona doesn't have any humanity or authenticity to performance instead relying on shock for the sake of shock while doing silly voices and funny faces to play up, and the movie gives us both terrible pre-taped sketches and terrible stand-up it's just a waste of time for all involved and I'm thankful that Dice retired this character and moved on to other prospects. If you like shock humor than watch Dennis Leary's No Cure for Cancer or anything with George Carlin, exact same subject matter as Dice, but MILES above in execution.
Andrew Dice Clay (Andrew Silverstein) broke out in the late 80s thanks to a seven minute set in a Rodney Dangerfield special that put him in the national spotlight leading to a deal with 20th Century Fox (from which this film originated) and becoming the first comedian to sell out two consecutive nights at Madison Square Garden. With Dice's newfound stardom came controversy from his abrasive sets and lead to blowback from "decency groups", feminists, and the gay community who often objected to his rhetoric. Dice's magnetism for controversy made many of his affiliates nervous with ABC cancelling development on a one hour drama in which he was slated to star and 20th Century Fox dropping Dice Rules leading it to be released in limited venues by indie, Seven Arts. Now, Dice has gone on record saying his "Diceman" persona is just that, a character, and not reflective of his own personal views which is all well and good, and in recent years Dice has shown himself to be rather versatile with roles in Blue Jasmine and Raising Hope often playing against his well known persona. With that said however, Dice Rules is a humor free slog of 80+ minutes of annoyance with not a single laugh to be had.
The first segment of the film is a 22 minute pre-taped segment consisting of a loose string of set pieces that show a fictionalized pre-fame Dice sporting an exaggerated wispy nasally voice that sounds like Jerry Lewis's nutty professor voice as delivered by Adam Sandler and follows his character suffering abuse from his obese foul mothed wife, a bank teller, a service station attendant, grocery store clerks, and even an acquaintance with Dice engaging in some pretty groan worth physical comedy that he's just not adept to. The short culminates with him playing a duel role as the salesman who gives Dice his trademark leather jacket (sporting a voice that sounds like Popeye) and then the short just ends. The short is painfully unfunny as it's completely bereft of anything resembling a joke, unless of course you count screaming profanity at the top of your lungs to be inherently funny.
Once the sketch is out of the way we move on to the actual meat of this movie, Dice's standup. Watching Dice's standup it's baffling to think he was flavor of the month at one point, his material is as crass and vulgar and expected which is perfectly fine, but the delivery setup and payoff for his jokes is so grating with his overdone Brooklyn persona shout "Ohhhhh!" at the end of every other punchline that it's just comes off as more annoying than funny. I think with the gaudy jacket, the coupled with this cartoon greaser image it makes his set feel like it's surface level gloss like his jacket. There's a set where Dice talks about masturbation (which should be an easy enough humor source) and it falls completely flat, George Carlin also talked about masturbation in his standup but he did it in a funny way by talking about it in the context of his teenage years (like contrasting guys who fantasized about celebrities versus girls in the neighborhood where "it might happen"). Dice's standup just seems to take profanity and/or taboo subject matter and then say it with a Brooklyn accent at full volume and that's where the joke begins and ends.
Dice Rules was clearly intended to be the 90s equivalent of Eddie Murphy Raw, but while the film brings the "Raw" it can't bring the charm or the funny. Dice's Diceman persona doesn't have any humanity or authenticity to performance instead relying on shock for the sake of shock while doing silly voices and funny faces to play up, and the movie gives us both terrible pre-taped sketches and terrible stand-up it's just a waste of time for all involved and I'm thankful that Dice retired this character and moved on to other prospects. If you like shock humor than watch Dennis Leary's No Cure for Cancer or anything with George Carlin, exact same subject matter as Dice, but MILES above in execution.
Live concert from MSG 1991
Simba-55 July 1999
I was at the second day of filming. Concert was good - not as good as the Philly HBO special though - probably because it is 2 days of concerts edited into one. They had us yell Dice Rules for 10 min - it turned into FU FU FU. Still, the rhymes were recited pretty damned loud.
_BOB
_BOB
This was horrible and degrading
LLAAA48374 July 2008
DICE RULES is one of the worst movies I have ever seen. It isn't even a movie. I don't like Andrew Dice Clay as a comedian. He is not clever, funny, interesting, creative, or daring. He just picks on different groups of minorities. He obviously hates women. He doesn't seem to see them as anything other than servants and sex tools. Why is this considered funny? I think George Carlin and Lenny Bruce are funny as hell. Why doesn't Andrew Dice Clay work? Because he is exploitative, mean spirited, and doesn't understand why what he is saying is simply wrong. He seems to hate everybody but himself. The audience of his skits are scary as hell. They look like an army of criminals with their fists thrusting upward and chanting his name as if they had practiced to chant it in perfect succession beforehand. This is one of the depressing films I've ever seen and I definitely don't recommend this film to anybody. I don't even want to meet somebody who finds this to be funny, although I already have numerous times. DICE RULES is complete crap.
Pros:
-none
Cons:
-bad comedy
-crude
-rude
-mean-spirited
Pros:
-none
Cons:
-bad comedy
-crude
-rude
-mean-spirited
possibly the funniest 30 minutes in the history of cinema
Kwisatz Haderach8 December 1999
the opening segment, which explains how andrew became "the diceman," may be the most hilarious & entertaining thing i have ever witnessed. clay showcases his little-seen acting ability & shows a penchant for slapstick, physical humor. those who can't find the humor in this opening film must be spending a little too much time sniffing airplane glue. even if you aren't a fan of dice's stand-up shtick, i suggest that you rent "dice rules" to get a better appreciation for his talents as a comedic actor. even though the concert portion (the sold-out show at madison square garden) isn't his best, it's still filled with classic dice moments that will bring a nostalgic tear to any true fan's eye. but i'd pay top dollar for this movie just to hear the super-square andrew utter lines like: "have you noticed how my savings have started to accrue?" simply put, he's unbelievable.
Dice's Last Stand
skillz22 November 2000
In this stand-up routine Dice plays to a sold-out Madison Square Garden. Using a lot of profanity in a stand-up routine is the easiest way to get laughs; but it's also the laziest way! No one knows that better than Andrew Dice Clay! In fact he made a mint getting paid the lazy way! Since the audience knew most of his jokes; he had to come up with some new material. Clay is a talented actor; despite his foul-mouthed routine.
I'm sorry, this is Dice at his best.
lonebruce7 September 2007
I was moved to write this comment after reading several of the negative comments. I was a HUGE Andrew Dice Clay fan in the 80s and 90s. I was even a member of his fan club. I had his first five comedy albums memorized. So, I admit, I am a little biased. But, I feel that those who are writing poor reviews for this feature are selling it short. I truly question those who call themselves "Dice fans", then say that this feature is unfunny and annoying. I ordered this on pay-per-view when it first came out. My friends and I were literally on the floor laughing for most of the movie. I taped it, and my friends and I memorized the skits at the beginning and would whip out lines from those skits for years after we first saw it. I am tempted to say that this is one of his best performances. But when you look at "One Night with Dice", "The Diceman Cometh", "For Ladies Only" and "No Apologies", it's hard to say that any one of them is the best. They are all equally good when you take into consideration the point in Dice's career that he made them. As for any performances after those, or any albums after "Forty-two Long", don't bother with them.
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