This is really a very bad movie. Why? First of all, the story is bad. It is an artificial story, combining all sorts of things together that make no sense. It just seems a wrong experiment. Secondly, the actors cannot play in a realistic manner. They cannot even talk as an actor should. Why did I buy this movie? And what must I do with it now?
12 Reviews
Peculiar, baffling - yet somehow still mildly enjoyable?
I_Ailurophile9 November 2021
The premise alone raises a skeptical eyebrow. To actually sit and watch 'Russian terminator' (also known as 'The Russian ninja') invites significantly greater curiosity. I can't entirely figure out what the deal is with this movie - whether it's a superbly executed bone-dry parody of spy thrillers, or an earnest low-budget attempt at the genre (practically on the level of amateur high school students) that misses the mark. Both notions would seem to be supported by the incredibly mundane costume design and filming locations, rough dialogue, and the utmost inauthenticity of scenes generally, especially when action is involved.
I can abide the indelicacy of the dialogue as delivered by the assembled cast, for whom English seems to be a second language - that's just an idiosyncrasy of the picture. The inelegance of the screenplay is another matter. Script, characterizations, and scene writing alike are deeply unconvincing. The overall narrative is that, and also more than a little perplexing, with a distinct lack of clarity about the progression of events and the story broadly. An action scene that rolls along just after the 1-hour mark is done pretty well, but - wait, why did everyone show up to that one location in the first place? Who, exactly, is the "Russian ninja?" Why does no one know who he is until it's convenient for the plot? What is his true involvement, in any regard? The best I can ascertain is that he's an embodiment of the "chaotic neutral" moral alignment, doing as he will for indecipherable reasons.
And so it goes, from start to finish. Having watched the whole film, I can no more effectively communicate the plot now than I could have before I began. This is without a doubt one of the most flummoxing pictures I've ever watched. I don't suppose the filmmakers intended for it to be as muddled as it is, but somewhere in the quagmire of deficient writing and direction, explicitness and lucidity were lost. Still, amazingly, that's not to say that 'Russian terminator' isn't wholly without entertainment value. There's a bizarre level of bemused engagement that follows from the movie's mystifying craft, and in its own peculiar way, this becomes a tiny bit of bewildering fun. Although, that doesn't especially help the feature's case, either.
I have a hard time imagining who I might recommend this to, or under what circumstances, except as the extraordinary oddity that it is. Even being as generous as one could in their assessment, the feature's poor construction marks it as a failure whether it was intended as a thriller or a parody (a dichotomy of which I remain uncertain); even among similar low-grade cinematic fare, this is a bumpy ride. The fact remains, though, that 'Russian terminator' isn't the absolute worst movie you could find yourself watching. If you're feeling brave and magnanimous, go ahead and give it a try. Just prepare yourself.
I can abide the indelicacy of the dialogue as delivered by the assembled cast, for whom English seems to be a second language - that's just an idiosyncrasy of the picture. The inelegance of the screenplay is another matter. Script, characterizations, and scene writing alike are deeply unconvincing. The overall narrative is that, and also more than a little perplexing, with a distinct lack of clarity about the progression of events and the story broadly. An action scene that rolls along just after the 1-hour mark is done pretty well, but - wait, why did everyone show up to that one location in the first place? Who, exactly, is the "Russian ninja?" Why does no one know who he is until it's convenient for the plot? What is his true involvement, in any regard? The best I can ascertain is that he's an embodiment of the "chaotic neutral" moral alignment, doing as he will for indecipherable reasons.
And so it goes, from start to finish. Having watched the whole film, I can no more effectively communicate the plot now than I could have before I began. This is without a doubt one of the most flummoxing pictures I've ever watched. I don't suppose the filmmakers intended for it to be as muddled as it is, but somewhere in the quagmire of deficient writing and direction, explicitness and lucidity were lost. Still, amazingly, that's not to say that 'Russian terminator' isn't wholly without entertainment value. There's a bizarre level of bemused engagement that follows from the movie's mystifying craft, and in its own peculiar way, this becomes a tiny bit of bewildering fun. Although, that doesn't especially help the feature's case, either.
I have a hard time imagining who I might recommend this to, or under what circumstances, except as the extraordinary oddity that it is. Even being as generous as one could in their assessment, the feature's poor construction marks it as a failure whether it was intended as a thriller or a parody (a dichotomy of which I remain uncertain); even among similar low-grade cinematic fare, this is a bumpy ride. The fact remains, though, that 'Russian terminator' isn't the absolute worst movie you could find yourself watching. If you're feeling brave and magnanimous, go ahead and give it a try. Just prepare yourself.
Finally some good scandinavian ninjacrap
temp_damage31 May 2000
Phew, I saw this classic 2 years ago, but I remember it clearly. Probably the worst scandinavian feature film EVER and it's even mr.Helge's 10th! The dubbing is awful, some scenes were definately overlightened, actors suck like 5$ whore, storyline in incredibly childish, dialogue is even worse, the fightscenes force the viewer for a well deserved nap... what else can I say, except THE RUSSIAN NINJA (aka THE RUSSIAN TERMINATOR) is a MUST for all camp-addicts out there!
-You're wonderful Phil -No! You are
rasvattu kaaos/ninjagefilus
-You're wonderful Phil -No! You are
rasvattu kaaos/ninjagefilus
No idea what was going on
fstammen21 July 2018
So this movie starts with a Kenny Rodgers impersonator who is forced to take a job to rescue the daughter of some rich guy. At his home he and his wife are attacked by a ninja who is out to get info on the job. The ninja lets them live and escapes. Now there is another plot involving a kidnapped guy and some spies. At least I think they are spies because the female spy is dressed as a spy from Spy vs. Spy with a black had and all. The ninja is all over the place attacking everyone and stuff happens. Not sure what because the story was so bad, just like the acting. But there were people shooting and a Russian ninja that is all you need!
Ninja Bore
Phroggy22 March 1999
A mix of Ninja stuff mixed with a sub-James Bond storyline. The result is incredibly awful and boring, being just the stage for endless gun battles. I can't believe this was released in theaters. Terminate this movie.
the pain, the pain!
overflow66631 March 2001
Shamefull as it may be, this movie actually made it to the videomarket, bringing shame on my proud country - any attempt to watch this movie without stopping or pausing, will be a fruitless attempt. one cannot bear to see more than one hour of this, then having either fallen asleep, or visited the bathroom for puking.
Note: if you haven't seen anything else from Denmark, please remember this:
some things were never meant to be - but still some idiot goes ahead and makes it anyway!
Note: if you haven't seen anything else from Denmark, please remember this:
some things were never meant to be - but still some idiot goes ahead and makes it anyway!
One of the worst and boring movies ever seen!!!
andy_n_johansen20 April 2004
Hello I am from Denmark, and one day i was having a film evening with my friends. One brought this movie with him "Russian terminator" and it was extremely awful. After watching less than half a minute we decided to fast forward only stopping at some laughable "highlights" or should i say "lowlights" in the movie. I was actually mostly surprised to find out that this film was produced here in my homeland Denmark...that must have been the biggest mistake this country ever made.
A great movie if you are into bad movies.
axel3356 July 2013
I had a good time watching this "movie" last night. Nothing in this "movie" works; the acting is awful, the plot is insane, the photo is ugly, the fighting scenes are just crazy and the music is out of this world.
There is really not very much to say about the plot, its a very traditional gangster story. One has seen it in hundreds of films, almost always executed in a better way than this though. If I had to say what I found worst about this movie I would say the music. Its too loud, it doesn't fit with the scenes and instead of creating an atmosphere its just annoying.
Because of this the film is very entertaining and I highly recommend this film to anyone who is into really, really, really bad movies.
There is really not very much to say about the plot, its a very traditional gangster story. One has seen it in hundreds of films, almost always executed in a better way than this though. If I had to say what I found worst about this movie I would say the music. Its too loud, it doesn't fit with the scenes and instead of creating an atmosphere its just annoying.
Because of this the film is very entertaining and I highly recommend this film to anyone who is into really, really, really bad movies.
The whole outing is very fun!
tarbosh2200029 March 2015
Warning: Spoilers
Where do you even begin with a gem like this? It's one of those weirdly nonsensical movie experiences that make discovering obscure films worth doing. The plot is kind of incidental to the nuttiness, but essentially a group of kidnappers led by Alexandra Danfort (Ljung) is on the loose and a man known only as "Eve's Dad" (Earle) hires the one man that can shut down the operation and find their captives: Mark Robinson (Offrein), a dead ringer for The Gambler, Kenny Rogers. Though getting on in years and working now as a fashion photographer, Eve's Dad is convinced he's the hero that can handle the job. Robinson teams up with Eve (Michaelsen) and her friend Phil (Melin) so they can stop the violence the only way they know how...with more violence. Of course, the one thing they didn't count on is awesome dude on the loose THE Russian NINJA (Cederblad)! What the heck is going on...and can we see more? We're beginning to think writer/director Mats Helge is an unheralded genius. It takes a certain type of sensibility (or should we say insanity) to pull off a concoction like this. Sure, he'd mastered the slasher movie with Blood Tracks (1985), and then, in 1984 he turned his demented attention to the then-current Ninja Boom with The Ninja Mission (1984). After the surprise success of that outing, he went back to the ninja well in the golden year of 1989 for this, and with improved results, in our opinion. Evidently figuring that ninjas didn't have to be Japanese, or even be his native Swedish, he inexplicably made the ninja in question Russian, of course, and magic ensued. As the RN's (that would be Russian Ninja, not Registered Nurse, just to be clear) ultimate nemesis, Helge went with a stylish and high (?)-kicking grandpa, i.e. the Kenny Rogers guy, henceforth to be referred to as Kenny. It was an inspired choice.
When Kenny tells his equally-stylish wife about his new mission, he simply says "some guy hired me", and off he goes. "Some guy" is "Eve's Dad", and his mustache makes Groucho Marx's look convincing. The man with the awesome/fake 'stache is played by Timothy Earle, of the great Wardogs (1987) fame. This "guy" sure knows how to pick his roles. It's all a blur of totally 80's clothing, music, home decor, and thick accents, and if you look up "Eurotrash" in the dictionary (which is needlessly insulting - how about EuroGem?), there might be a picture of the VHS of this movie. That being said, at one point Phil says, while trying to figure out who the baddies are, "Are they foreign people...from EUROPE?" This is one of the funniest lines in the movie, because are they seriously having us believe they're not the most European people ever? Is this supposed to take place in America? Presumably lost-in-translation character names like "Alexandra Danfort" and "Phil Davids" would indicate so. But it truly is a case of "no coherence, no problem" as we wouldn't want it any other way. Might as well just keep piling it on.
Even with all the pleasantly-absurd nonsense on screen, it still gets strangely talky at times, as if any of it mattered, and when Kenny is not on screen, the movie suffers. This "kick-ass grandpa", with his geriatric punches and jumps, put many younger stars to shame. That would have been enough for one movie, but we also have Magnus (AKA Adent) Cederblad as the Russian Ninja. This guy rules. You just have to see him. And as for Phil Davids, he wears boxing trunks in the hot tub in lieu of a bathing suit.
The whole outing is very fun, and the title The Russian Ninja surely was meant to capitalize on the hot ninja trend of the day, and right at the edge of the Cold War, if there could be an American Ninja (1985), surely there could be a Russian Ninja as well? The cherry on the sundae is during the credits, there are highlights from what we just saw. Excellent. Released on at least three labels in the U.S. during the VHS era (Arena, Xenon and Ariztical), Ninja Terminator (or the Russian Ninja) is pretty much the definition of a diamond in the rough.
When Kenny tells his equally-stylish wife about his new mission, he simply says "some guy hired me", and off he goes. "Some guy" is "Eve's Dad", and his mustache makes Groucho Marx's look convincing. The man with the awesome/fake 'stache is played by Timothy Earle, of the great Wardogs (1987) fame. This "guy" sure knows how to pick his roles. It's all a blur of totally 80's clothing, music, home decor, and thick accents, and if you look up "Eurotrash" in the dictionary (which is needlessly insulting - how about EuroGem?), there might be a picture of the VHS of this movie. That being said, at one point Phil says, while trying to figure out who the baddies are, "Are they foreign people...from EUROPE?" This is one of the funniest lines in the movie, because are they seriously having us believe they're not the most European people ever? Is this supposed to take place in America? Presumably lost-in-translation character names like "Alexandra Danfort" and "Phil Davids" would indicate so. But it truly is a case of "no coherence, no problem" as we wouldn't want it any other way. Might as well just keep piling it on.
Even with all the pleasantly-absurd nonsense on screen, it still gets strangely talky at times, as if any of it mattered, and when Kenny is not on screen, the movie suffers. This "kick-ass grandpa", with his geriatric punches and jumps, put many younger stars to shame. That would have been enough for one movie, but we also have Magnus (AKA Adent) Cederblad as the Russian Ninja. This guy rules. You just have to see him. And as for Phil Davids, he wears boxing trunks in the hot tub in lieu of a bathing suit.
The whole outing is very fun, and the title The Russian Ninja surely was meant to capitalize on the hot ninja trend of the day, and right at the edge of the Cold War, if there could be an American Ninja (1985), surely there could be a Russian Ninja as well? The cherry on the sundae is during the credits, there are highlights from what we just saw. Excellent. Released on at least three labels in the U.S. during the VHS era (Arena, Xenon and Ariztical), Ninja Terminator (or the Russian Ninja) is pretty much the definition of a diamond in the rough.
A masterpiece!
jariasselman29 September 2019
Warning: Spoilers
The story was incredible, each little detail revealed more to the past of the characters. The ninja was symbolism for the existential threat of death that was about to come to the lady with blonde hair and a black hat. This movie, also know as the Russian Ninja is a masterpiece if we'd forget what truly a masterpiece would be. There was a certain amount of depth in this film, the start we see one of our protagonists filming or photographing a lady, this of course with a car in the background and just as the moment that was shown was over, a new car arrived and soon with time to be forgotten. the father of our protagonist lady is here from the start to only appear towards the end. I could go on for ages, talking about the underlying genius of this movie, however I'm afraid I don't have time for that.
A must watch for those who require a good nap.
Very compeling story
martanyman24 August 2021
Warning: Spoilers
Great action and acting with amazing cinematics. Only thing that wasn't good was that you did not know what the point of all the charachters we're and the same with the conflict to be honest.
Very sexy main character (Hasse Andersson, Tomten)
Very sexy main character (Hasse Andersson, Tomten)
Dumb action movie from Sweden
lor_4 June 2023
My review was written in September 1990 after watching the movie on Arena video cassette.
Campy, but unintentionally, "Russian Terminator" answers the question: where are the new Swedish action films?". It's a home video shoot-'em-up for the novelty crowd.
Frederick Offrein is the unlikely hero: a guy who looks like Kenny Rogers, pronounces ninja as "ninya" and is supposedly a retired secret agent. He's blackmailed to give up his job as a still photographer to help out East/West relations on a secret mission.
It seems that Helena Michaelsen's boyfriend has been kidnapped with the villains demanding that her father turn over some secret papers. It takes several reels before the film moves into entertaining pure action mode, a refreshing change after the highly artificial postsynched English dialog.
Appearance of the title figure, who's really a Russian ninja, is anticlimactic as tall blonde Adent Cederblad's martial arts skill looks suspiciously like pro wrestling.
Campy, but unintentionally, "Russian Terminator" answers the question: where are the new Swedish action films?". It's a home video shoot-'em-up for the novelty crowd.
Frederick Offrein is the unlikely hero: a guy who looks like Kenny Rogers, pronounces ninja as "ninya" and is supposedly a retired secret agent. He's blackmailed to give up his job as a still photographer to help out East/West relations on a secret mission.
It seems that Helena Michaelsen's boyfriend has been kidnapped with the villains demanding that her father turn over some secret papers. It takes several reels before the film moves into entertaining pure action mode, a refreshing change after the highly artificial postsynched English dialog.
Appearance of the title figure, who's really a Russian ninja, is anticlimactic as tall blonde Adent Cederblad's martial arts skill looks suspiciously like pro wrestling.
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