The Rescuers Down Under (1990)
John Candy: Wilbur
Photos
Quotes
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Miss Bianca : Oh, Captain. Is this a non-stop flight to Australia?
Wilbur : Well, uh, not exactly. No. I can definitely say no. We're gonna have to make connections with a bigger bird. Non-stop? Who do I look like, Charles Lindbergh?
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Wilbur : Welcome to "Albatross Air: A Fair Fare From Here to There." You get it? "A fair fare." It's-It's a play on... never mind.
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[Last lines, Wilbur is still at Marahute's nest]
Wilbur : Help! Anybody! Bernard! Bianca! Where are you? Okay, that's it. I'm outta here. This is ridiculous. You can't leave me here alone. I'm gone. I am gone!
[the eggs start hatching]
Wilbur : Oh, no. Stay in those eggs! That's a direct order. Hey, you're kind of a cute little feller. Cootchie cootchie coo...
[eaglet bites him]
Wilbur : YEOW! WHOA! OHHHH!
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Miss Bianca : [whilst Wilbur drinks from a can of cream soda] We must leave tonight.
Wilbur : [spit takes] Tonight?
[coughs; laughs]
Wilbur : Come on. You're kiddin' me, right?
[laughs; opens his window]
Wilbur : Have ya looked outside? It's suicide out there!
[laughs; closes window]
Wilbur : Oh, no. Ohhhhhhh, no! I'm afraid your jolly little holiday will have to wait.
[laughs]
Wilbur : What a bunch of jokers!
Miss Bianca : But you don't understand. A boy needs our help. He's in trouble!
Wilbur : Boy? You mean, little kid kinda boy?
Miss Bianca : He was kidnapped!
Wilbur : Kidnapped? Oh! That-that's awful! Lockin' up a little kid. Kids should be free! Free to run wild through the house on Saturday mornings, free to have cookies and milk, and get those little white mustaches, you know?
[lividly]
Wilbur : Nobody's gonna take a kid's freedom away while I'm around! Nobody ain't! Hear me?
Miss Bianca : Does that mean you'll take us?
Wilbur : Storm or no storm, Albatross Airlines...
[salutes]
Wilbur : at your service!
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Wilbur : Wait a minute. What the heck are you doing up here?
Bernard : The kidnapper took the boy and Jake... and Miss Bianca.
Wilbur : Miss Bianca? Miss Bianca's in trouble? Oh, no! That's terrible! We gotta do something. I'm very disappointed in you, Bernard. Hiding under a nest while Bianca's in danger. Let me tell you something, buddy!
Bernard : Wilbur...
Wilbur : You-you-you start searchin' the desert for, and I-I-I'll scan the coastline. Yeah, that's what I'll do.
Bernard : Wilbur...
Wilbur : I'll ask the chicks on the beach to...
Bernard : Wilbur!
Wilbur : Huh? What?
Bernard : Listen. There are some chicks here that need your help.
Wilbur : Really?
[Bernard sits on Marahute's eggs. He pats one and smiles]
Wilbur : Oh, no! Wait a minute. I know what you're thinking, and you're wrong. Don't even-
[Bernard scowls]
Wilbur : No! Don't look at me like that. You're getting no from me! No! I will not ever sit on those eggs!
[Cut to Wilbur sitting on eggs]
Wilbur : Aw, nuts. I gotta learn to be more assertive. No is no is no. Hey - quit movin' in there.
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Wilbur : [over radio] Mugwomp Tower! Mugwomp Tower! This is Albatross 1-3 requesting permision to land. Over!
Jake : Albatross? Let's see.
[he looks at a chart of various birds]
Jake : Finch, wren, scrub bird, lorikeet, freckled duck, galah, kookaburra, parrot, cockatoo, albatro...
[reacts at its size]
Jake : Alb-Albatross? It-It's a jumbo!
[turns to microphone]
Jake : Negative, 1-3! You'll have to turn back! Our runway isn't long enough for a bird your size!
Wilbur : Not long enough? Look, pal! I can land this thing on a dime!
Bernard : Uh, Wilbur, if the runway isn't long enough...
Wilbur : Listen! You can't let these radar jockeys push you around! Just leave it to me, all right?
Jake : I say it again, mate, our runway is too short!
Wilbur : And I say it again, "mate", I'm comin' in!
Jake : Crazy Yank.
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Wilbur : Throw another shrimp on the barbie, girls, 'cause here I come!
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Doctor : I've already missed tea, Mr. Albatross. Don't force me to take drastic measures. You must relax.
Wilbur : Relax? I have never been more relaxed in my life! If I were any more relaxed, I'd be dead!
Doctor : I'm not convinced. 60 milligrams!
Nurse Mouse : 60 milligrams!
[Loads a syringe of tranquilizer onto a shotgun]
Wilbur : What? Are you guys crazy? You can't do this to me! I'm an American citizen, buddy!
Doctor : Better double it.
Wilbur : Double?
Nurse Mouse : Double, coming up!
[Loads a second syringe]
Wilbur : No!
Doctor : Prepare the patient for medication.
Wilbur : This can't be happening! I must be dreaming! Come on, Wilbur, wake up! Come on!
Doctor : Three degrees right!
Nurse Mouse : Three degrees right!
Doctor : Down two degrees!
Wilbur : No! Don't go down two degrees!
Nurse Mouse : Down two degrees!
Doctor : Ready...
Wilbur : No, I'm not ready!
Doctor : Aim...
Wilbur : [Whimpers] Please don't do this to me!
Doctor : Fire!
[Gunshot]
Wilbur : AAHH, WHOA! OH, WHOA!
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Doctor : Forceps!
Nurse Mouse : Forceps!
Wilbur : Oh, what now?
Doctor : Spinal streculator!
Wilbur : Oh, that's gonna hurt.
Doctor : Artery router!
Wilbur : Mother!
Doctor : This is rusted tight. I wouldn't dream of using such tools. Bring me the epidermal tissue disrupter!
Wilbur : The epidermal what?
[the nurses start a chainsaw]
Wilbur : OH! OH, NO! AAAH!
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Doctor : [as Wilbur escapes] Mr. Albatross, we haven't operated yet!
Wilbur : [running away] You've gotta catch me first, doctor!
Doctor : Mr. Albatross, please!
Wilbur : Cowabunga!
Doctor : [chases after him] Mr. Albatross, we must return you to the operating room!
Wilbur : [escapes to the window] You'll never take me alive!
Doctor : [he and the other nurse mice try to force him back in] Please, don't do this! Your spine needs tender...
Wilbur : [getting forced in] Ooh!
Doctor : ...loving...
Wilbur : [screams in pain] AGH!
Doctor : ...care!
[Wilbur gets forced in]
Wilbur : [groans until he smiles] M-my back!
[Wilbur stands up as we see the doctor is now in serious pain]
Wilbur : [laughs] I can-I-it works! I'm cured!
Doctor : [in pain] My back!
[his back cracks]
