Instant Karma (1990)

Craig Sheffer: Zane

Quotes 

• Jesus Man : [Zane and Penelope, on their date, are walking along a boardwalk at Venice Beach. An odd man pushing a shopping cart comes up behind them]  Hey! Hey! Guess what?

  Zane : What?

  Jesus Man : Guess!

  Zane : I don't know. What?

  Jesus Man : I'm Jesus Christ... I am.

  Zane : [a bit taken aback]  Well... Nice to meet you, Mr. Christ.

  Zane : [Zane and Penelope laugh and walk on, the guy still following them]  I don't know what to say to the guy...

  Jesus Man : Hey! Hey! You two married?

  Jesus Man : [Zane and Penelope stop and look at him]  I can marry ya'.

  Zane : Yeah?

  Jesus Man : I'm Jesus Christ!

• Dr. Berlin : You say you're in love... why do you seem to be so troubled, then?

  Zane : Maybe wanting to be great in someone else's eyes makes us examine ourselves more closely.

  Dr. Berlin : Well, that's what we're here for.

  Zane : I just really think I sold out.

  Dr. Berlin : Where does all this guilt come from?

  Zane : I just wanted to be a great writer like my dad, you know? He was an artist.

  Dr. Berlin : Well, as I understand it, he never really got anywhere.

  Zane : Well, that depends on how you look at it. I couldn't feel good about myself if I knew I willingly sold out.

  Dr. Berlin : Maybe you were seduced?

  Zane : Was I?

  Dr. Berlin : Let me ask you... Would you rather have the money? Or the art?

  Zane : [pauses to consider]  Both.

  Dr. Berlin : Ah, well, maybe you can't *have* both.

  Zane : Well... Well, if I said the money, I couldn't respect myself. And, if I said the art... I couldn't afford you.

  Dr. Berlin : Maybe we better have a little hypnotherapy.

• Shakra Zula : [reading his palm at her booth on Venice Beach]  Hmm... very interesting. You have a very long life line...

  Zane : I do?

  Shakra Zula : ...but it is broken early on.

  Zane : Well... what does that mean?

  Shakra Zula : Oh, it could mean many things.

  Zane : Well, what about my love line?

  Shakra Zula : It is very jagged. Broken. You are very alone. Not happy.

  Zane : Well... will I *ever* find happiness?

  Shakra Zula : [sounding very somber]  Not in this life, I'm afraid.

• Zane : [Later, sitting at a café, after the not-very-positive palm reading]  I mean, she said I'm never gonna' find happiness, right? So I'm probably never gonna' find happiness.

  Penelope : She said it was unlikely, not impossible. Aren't those the only things worth doing? Things that seem almost impossible?

• Zane : [In therapy session with Dr. Berlin]  Water is a mystical medium, because it evaporates. I loved Amy. I thought she loved me. Then about a year ago she said, "I've found somebody else. I'm leaving you."

  Dr. Berlin : Well, what about now?

  Zane : Picture a vast desert - a wasteland. Nothing in it as far as the eye can see, except for one tiny, lone figure. That's me, Dr. Berlin. I'm all alone. All my relationships are professional - except for my dog, Wolfgang. I need someone to love. I don't know what the problem is. I mean, my career is going well. You know, I meet a lot of women, but I always seem to screw things up!

  Dr. Berlin : I see...

  Zane : Do you?

  Dr. Berlin : Yes. The dog barks, but the caravan moves on... Let's do some hypnotherapy.