- Irv Mickelson: Who said "no man's above the law"?
- Jason Cromwell: Richard Nixon. Is this a trick question?
- Irv Mickelson: Behave yourself, Cromwell. Marcie is my fantasy, I dream about her all the time and I've never seen you there once!
- Jason Cromwell: You got the bear.
- Irv Mickelson: You got the wife. Besides, what makes people think they can fix things when they find some-beautiful-young-thing? It's stupid! It's juvenile.
- Jason Cromwell: If you fall on this in order to save your little ass, you're nothing but a whore!
- Joanne Winstow-Darvish: I'll take that as a compliment from the future star of the Cromwell Report.
- Irv Mickelson: Crom, you still there?
- Jason Cromwell: No!
- Irv Mickelson: Alright. All the work is done. Time for you to land and suck up the glory.
- Jason Cromwell: Screw you.
- Joanne Winstow-Darvish: Irv, they've found Jimmy Hoffa.
- Irv Mickelson: What?
- Joanne Winstow-Darvish: I'm checking to make sure you're awake.