Honey, I Shrunk the Kids (1989)

Marcia Strassman: Diane Szalinski

Photos 

Quotes 

• Wayne Szalinski : Don't worry about them, they've got the Thompson kids with them. They'll be fine.

  Diane Szalinski : That's another thing I'm worried about: Amy. In the dark. With Little Russ Thompson.

  Wayne Szalinski : Get some rest.

  Diane Szalinski : They'd better behave themselves.

• [Wayne shows Diane the shrunken couch] 

  Diane Szalinski : [excited]  Are you saying... it works? The machine works?

  [Wayne nods] 

  Diane Szalinski : Do the kids know?

  Wayne Szalinski : Well, yeah, the kids know.

  Diane Szalinski : That's great!

  Wayne Szalinski : No, it's not that great.

  Diane Szalinski : Why?

  Wayne Szalinski : I shrunk the kids.

  Diane Szalinski : ...What?

  Wayne Szalinski : And the Thompson kids too. They're about this big, they're in the backyard.

  Diane Szalinski : *What*?

  Wayne Szalinski : I threw them out with the trash.

  [just as Diane grabs hold of Wayne, the doorbell rings. Wayne opens the door to two police officers] 

  Wayne Szalinski : Yes?

  Female Cop : Did uh, you report two missing children?

  Wayne Szalinski : Oh, there must be some mistake. Our children are in the backyard. Right, honey?

  [Diane faints] 

• [after Wayne and Diane stop Tommy with the lawnmower] 

  Tommy Pervis : [innocently]  Nick said I could cut it, I swear!

  Wayne Szalinski : When did you see Nick?

  Diane Szalinski : Did you see him this morning?

  Tommy Pervis : No, it was yesterday. Really, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be so late.

  Diane Szalinski : [calmly]  It's okay, sweetie. It's okay. Why don't you back through our house, it's safer.

  Tommy Pervis : [concerned]  'Safer'?

  [Tommy stares at Wayne and Diane looking through the cut grass for the kids] 

  Tommy Pervis : [to himself]  I thought MY folks were weird.

• [Wayne shows the Thompsons the shrunken furniture] 

  Mae Thompson : Why didn't you tell us earlier?

  Diane Szalinski : Well, up until now, the machine just... blew things up.

  Mae Thompson : Are you saying that that machine...?

  Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Sr. : Blew up my kids?

  Diane Szalinski , Wayne Szalinski : No, no!

  Wayne Szalinski : No, if the machine had blown up the kids, there'd be pieces of them everywhere...

  Diane Szalinski : Wayne!

  Wayne Szalinski : Sorry, but I'm positive about this. The machine shrunk our kids.

  Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Sr. : You're the one who needs a shrink, Szalinski. You are a nut case. And I'll tell you something: I have got an air hammer in my attic, and if you did do something to my kids, there's gonna be pieces of you *all over the NEIGHBORHOOD*! Come on, Mae!

  [he storms out of the house, dragging Mae after him] 

  Wayne Szalinski : I think that went well.

  Diane Szalinski : I think we should have them over more often.

• Tommy Pervis : [after mowing the lawn]  Nick said I could cut it...

  Wayne Szalinski : When did you see Nick?

  Diane Szalinski : Did you see him this morning?

  Tommy Pervis : No, it was yesterday. But really, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to be so late!

  Diane Szalinski : It's okay, sweetie. It's alright, go home, go on through the house, it's safer.

  Tommy Pervis : "Safer"?

  [sees Diane and Wayne looking for the kids in the grass] 

  Tommy Pervis : And I thought my folks were weird.

• Diane Szalinski : I called the police...

  [sees Wayne with headlamps on his head] 

  Diane Szalinski : ... what's on your head?

  Wayne Szalinski : I... was looking for the kids.

  Diane Szalinski : Where? In a coal mine?

  Wayne Szalinski : They're in the back yard.

• Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Sr. : What do you take me for? A complete idiot?

  [Wayne and Diane look at each other] 

  Mae Thompson : How did this happen?

  Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Sr. : Hang on, Mae. I'll handle this. How did this happen?

  Wayne Szalinski : Well, the machine analyzes an object's molecular structure; then through laser inversion, it takes all the...

  Diane Szalinski : Wayne... I think the Thompsons need to see the couch.

• [Wayne and Diane are still searching for the kids until Diane hears and sees Big Russ and Mae in the kitchen arguing] 

  Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Sr. : [about Little Russ]  I didn't force him to join the team.

  Mae Thompson : I know, but you always make a big deal out of sports.

  Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Sr. : Because sports build character.

  Mae Thompson : No, they don't! They build muscle. Russell, you've got to understand, these kids aren't you. They have their whole lives...

  Diane Szalinski : Wayne?

  Wayne Szalinski : Yeah?

  Diane Szalinski : [lowly]  We've got to tell the Thompsons.