The Dream Team (1989)

Peter Boyle: Jack McDermott

Photos 

Quotes 

• [Jack McDermott sits nude in his room and drinks red wine] 

  Jack McDermott : This is the body and blood of our savior, the Lord Jesus Christ. And a damned fine Beaujolais!

• [Their van is being towed] 

  Jack : Stop! Who dares to tow the van of the living Christ?

  Tow Man : The city of New York, Tarzan! $50 for the violation, $75 for the tow and $20 a day for storage.

  Jack : [Skyward]  Father, forgive us for we have sinned! We parked our car in a forbidden zone!

• Gianelli : [Pointing to his gun]  I'll use this.

  Jack : I have died and been reborn. I can do it again, buster.

• Billy : We gotta come up with $165, get the van and pull Weitzman out of the hospital before those two goddamn cops come back. Now how's that for a goal?

  Jack : Us? But we're crazy.

  Billy : Yeah? Well we better get sane real goddamn fast.

• Jack : You told me you played for the New York Rangers.

  Billy : Are you saying I didn't?

  Dr. Weitzman : Attacking a referee on the ice doesn't make you a hockey player either.

  Billy : That guy had no right to be an NHL referee!

  Dr. Weitzman : Although it did get you into our little group, didn't it?

• Jack : Hey Murray, congratulations.

  Murray : What are you talking about?

  Jack : Benson called while I was in there. You got the Natachi account.

  Murray : [excitedly]  We got it? Really, we got it?

  [Dances and shouts] 

  Murray : We got the Natachi account! We got the Natachi account.

  Jack : Hey, Murray?

  Murray : Yeah?

  Jack : Just kidding!

  [Murray's face falls in disappointment] 

  Jack : Wah wah wah wah.

• Jack McDermott : I am the Lord they God. Thou shalt not have strange gods before Me. Out of my way, asshole.

• Jack : [Begins to undress]  We are all naked in the eyes of the lord.

  Henry : STOP! This man is clinically insane! He is presently undergoing treatment at Cedarbrook Hospital under my supervision!

  Jack : [He and Henry are quickly ejected]  If I only saved one soul in there, it was well worth it.

• Jack : I was pulling down a hundred big ones a year while you and Satan were chasing Daryl Hannah!

• Jack : You two should be cast into the outer darkness. The rec hall will look pretty damn good from the bowels of Hell.

  Billy : I got news for you. You're gonna be the first Supreme Being EVER TO MAKE A LICENSE PLATE!

• Jack : I fear my doctor may have been seized by the Romans!

• [last lines] 

  Henry : Hey guys, time for a hug?

  Jack : I don't think so.

  Billy : Maybe after the game.

  Albert : Play ball!

• [They are under a large cardboard box in the rain] 

  Henry : I think we should review our goals.

  Billy : Review our goals. Wacko, we gotta find the doctor.

  Henry : Who put you in charge? I'm in charge here.

  Jack : Read the New Testament, Sparky. You'll find out who's in charge.

  Billy : Get outta the way!

  [They bump a pedestrian] 

  Billy : Albert, you step on my foot one more time, I'm gonna kill ya!

  Albert : Kill the ump!

  Jack : Why does a grown man have to smell like tuna fish?

• Jack : Let me hold the gun.

  Henry : No.

  Jack : I let you sit in the front seat!

• Billy : [referring to Jack]  We're looking for something casual for the Son of God.

  Bernie : How much does the Supreme Being wanna spend?

  Jack : How about a nice Harris tweed with a blue Oxford button-down and maybe a nice Countess Mara tie, eh, sport?

  Billy : [to the guys]  Look, why don't you guys browse around for a while.

  [They just stand there] 

  Billy : Browse!

• Jack McDermott : I don't want him next to me. He smells like tuna fish.

• Jack : Great! Breakfast. I'm starved.

  Henry : That's not ours. That's Ed's.

  Jack : Did Ed make the sun shine? Did Ed make the wheat grow?

  Henry : I don't know the man.

• Dr. Verboven : Jack, Jesus Christ would never point a gun at another human being.

  Jack McDermott : Stay out of my psychosis! Now get your ass in that van.

• Jack : I drove the moneylenders from the temple. I can handle a ten-spot.

• Henry : Dr. Newald's going to be very, very, very upset. I'm going to have to make a full report.

  Jack McDermott : You're a sick man. It's a sickness of the soul.

  [flips Henry the finger] 

  Jack McDermott : Put *this* in your report!

  Albert : Foul ball!

• Billy : This is like asking Lassie a question. "Did Timmy fall into the well? Did he, girl?" Look, Albert... did they take Weitzman away in an ambulance?

  Albert : [deep breath, then nods]  Big inning.

  Billy : That's a definite yes.

  Jack : But all he said was "big inning."

  Billy : Yeah, but he was nodding when he said it, right, Albert?

  Albert : [nodding]  Big inning.

  Billy : See? All you had to do was learn how to talk, Albert.

• Jack : This is a brilliant manipulation of negative space.

  Ed : That's a very interesting interpretation.

  Jack : Do you know WHY it's a brilliant manipulation of negative space?

  Ed : No

  Jack : Because Jesus LIKES IT that way.

• Jack McDermott : What about dinner? Who's gonna get us our dinner?

  Billy : "Who's gonna get us our..." aren't you the same guy who changed water into wine? Huh? J.C.? Ain't the son of God good for a burger in his town? You get us something!

  Jack McDermott : That's not funny. You're a very disturbed young man.

  Billy : Man you don't know how disturbed I am.

• Henry : [5:37]  I'm going to have to include this in my report to Dr. Weitzman.

  Jack McDermott : Call not for a doctor but for an elder of the church. Leviticus 5:14.

• Dr. Weitzman : [12:16]  Now, Jack, last time we had you set a goal for yourself.

  Jack McDermott : Well my original goal was to rid the world of Satan's influence and to bring Jesus Christ into the advertising business, where he belongs.

  Dr. Weitzman : Yes but I think the revised version was to set a goal for Jack McDermott, not Jesus Christ.

  Henry : Dr. Weitzman, he's still walking around naked. I think he still has a long way to go.

  Billy : For a guy who runs the universe, I think he's scared shitless.

  Billy : Let me ask you a question, you rose yourself up from the dead, right? Now did the agency give you some extra perks for that or just those extra three days off?

  Jack McDermott : You weren't there! I was pulling down 100 big ones a year while you and Satan were out chasing Darryl Hannah!